


Our next great adventure

by Jules_In_Neverland



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Action, Angst, Children, Comfort, Depression, Drama, F/F, Family, Friendship, Hurt, Injury, Love, Main character's injured, Olympics, Pregnancy, Romance, Set in 2020, krashlyn - Freeform, post USWNT, wlw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2018-09-19
Packaged: 2018-10-08 09:00:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 34
Words: 97,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10383090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jules_In_Neverland/pseuds/Jules_In_Neverland
Summary: Ashlyn and Ali are two players of the USWNT fighting for the golden medal at the 2020's Tokyo Olympics when their lives change forever, catapulting them towards the next big period of their life, an adventure they will never forget and the most important game of their lives. Follow their path through love, their adventures together and their new challenges (as they fight through depression, injuries, relationship issues, finding their place out of soccer, etc.) as they decide to slowly step out of soccer and engage in a passionate new adventure.





	1. For Krashlyn

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! I'm a veteran writer in other platforms and fandoms and this is my first time both in Archive of Our own and writing Krashlyn, although I'm a big Krashlyn fan. I'm not such a big fan of soccer but of the two women themselves and how they are as people, so I hope you enjoy my content.

A new and much better coach than Jill Ellis could’ve ever dreamt to be, had led the United States Women’s National Team to the World Cup 2019, and they had won it. Now, it was time to win the Gold at the 2020 Summer Olympics. The team had just won their way into the quarter finals and was partying out around Tokyo, the host of the Olympics that year, with the exception of their number 1 and their number 11. Ashlyn Harris and Alexandra Krieger were lying down on Ashlyn’s bed back at the hotel, nude, after having decided they had gone to enough clubs in their life and were far more interested in celebrating their win alone, taking advantage of the quietness of the hotel. They were just relaxing snuggled against each other.

“Can you believe it though?” Alexandra asked as her laugh stopped. Her long dark hair was sprawled over the mattress and she stroked Ashlyn’s cheek lovingly, her eyes bright with pride “we’re here, like we always dreamed of. And you’re the starting goalkeeper, and I’m in the starting XI almost always, as your right back.”

“My favorite right back.” Ashlyn chuckled leaning to kiss Ali passionately and making Ali forget her train of thought. Ashlyn finally pulled back after a while, her short dark hair falling over her forehead a little “No, I can’t believe it.”

“We’re gonna win this, just like we won the World Cup.” Ali said with a grin, her lips swollen.

“I know” Ashlyn nodded “and I was thinking, maybe it doesn’t have the only thing we win this year.” Ali raised an eyebrow.

“You’re not proposing like this Harris, I’m nude and this isn’t romantic enough.” Ali said with a warning tone and a chuckle. Ashlyn smiled and shook her head.

“I know, my Queen.” Ashlyn said “What I’m saying is, I’m almost thirty-five. And you are thirty-six. It’s time Ali. Let’s win this thing, retire, and accomplish our dreams. If we keep waiting, we will be too old, but now is the right time, is the perfect time. If you’re ready, I’m ready.” Ali looked at her seriously for a while, and finally nodded.

“Are you sure? You’ve only enjoyed being starting for the last three years. I want to make sure you won’t regret it.”

“I know, but I’ve been starting at many teams, and at Orlando. Maybe I can still play with Orlando for a couple years more even, I don’t know. But I’m done with the National Team. We’ve won a World Cup. We have everything. And the National Team is too much time, too much travelling, too much restless. And I’m starting here, nothing else matters” Ashlyn kissed her briefly “I want to be starting wife, and starting mother, and starting owner of a couple pretty French bulldogs?” she added putting puppy eyes, and Ali laughed.

“Alright!” Ali chuckled “Alright… then this is it. We finish this thing, we take that gold home, and we start our next adventure together. I’m ready too.” Ali smiled at her “I’ve had the time of my life, and I’m ready for the next awesome part.”

“Me too.” Ashlyn smiled “Together.” Ashlyn kissed her, pressing her against the mattress and making Ali moan. Ashlyn pulled up for a second “And I promise you’re finally getting your rock with the prettiest proposal ever this year, my Queen Alex.”

Ali grinned from ear to ear, making Ashlyn fall in love all over, and pulled her girlfriend in for another kiss.

The couple decided to keep the news for themselves, not saying anything to anyone just yet. A couple days later, they made their way to the Semi Finals, winning the Quarter Finals match by a solid 2-0, which meant clean sheet for Ashlyn.

“That’s my keeper!” Ali grinned from ear to ear jumping on Ashlyn the minute the short-haired and inked goalkeeper arrived to the team’s celebration, a bit later because she had taken a little nap “Clean sheet baby!” Ashlyn chuckled as the rest of the team cheered out her name.

“Hey, let’s not forget you guys scored a couple nice goals!” Ashlyn added, praising her team, that cheered to themselves. Ali blushed knowing she had scored one of those, and Ashlyn kissed her “You played so good, Ali. This is for you.” Ashlyn said pulling out a bouquet of flowers she had hidden behind her back. Ali chuckled taking the bouquet.

“Thank you, they’re my favorite!” Ali said smelling the flowers. Ashlyn smiled like a dummy in love at her.

“Hey guys, from zero to Krashlyn how obvious do you think it is that we’re going to win?” Whitney Engen said suddenly and there were many laughs as the team yelled at unison ‘Krashlyn!’.

“Actually Ash and I have some news” Ali commented. After the couple had spoken with the coach that morning, they decided it was time for the team to know. The girls looked at them expectantly.

“Oh my God Ash finally knocked out Ali!” Sydney yelled, bringing more laughs to the team. They were just having a cheerful party time that night. Ashlyn rolled her eyes and side smiled.

“No, none of us is pregnant.” Ashlyn cleared out. Ali chuckled.

“What Ash and I want you to know is that we’ve recently decided that this will be our last Olympic Games. Whatever happens after this match, once the Olympics are over, so will be our international careers.” The team looked pretty sad suddenly.

“Hey but we might still be playing in the NWSL for a little longer, we haven’t decided that yet!” Ashlyn added, trying to bring back the party.

“You’re… leaving?” Tobin looked at them serious.

“We want to focus on each other and our family from now on.” Ashlyn said “We won’t be young forever. We aren’t that young anymore. And is time for the younger ones to rock the National Team, they need caps and we need to step back. Ali and I agreed that now feels like the perfect time.”

“In that case, we have more to celebrate tonight” Allie grinned raising her cup.

“Yeah!” Crystal yelled cheerfully raising her cup “Let’s get our gold home girls and let’s give our favorite golden duo the goodbye they deserve!”

“For Krashlyn!” Rose Lavelle cheered.

“For Krashlyn!” the rest of the team joined raising their cups.

As the days passed by, soon the team found itself winning the semifinals. But that night, Ashlyn had stopped the team from going out to party and instead asked them a very special favor. While Ali showered and got ready for a supposed party -that was nothing but a fake rumor Ashlyn had started with the help of her teammates- and taking advantage of how long the brunette usually took to get ready, the team and Ashlyn prepared a way of roses from the door of Ali’s bedroom to the back door exit of the hotel, where a limo waited patiently. The team prepared and once Ali got out of the door, she found her brother.

“Kyle! What are you doing here?!” Ali was so surprised and so happy to see the handsome hair stylist, who was dressed elegantly and hugged her happily.

“Surprise!” Kyle said cheerfully giving her a bouquet of flowers “As your older brother, I’ve been sent on the mission to bring you to the beach.”

“Thank you, you didn’t have to! Wait! You said… we’re going to the beach?” Ali was even more surprised “No, the team and I were about to go celebrate, but hey come join us! It’s only seven afternoon…”

“Didn’t they tell you?” Kyle pretended to be puzzled “The party is in the beach!”

“Oh!” Ali’s jaw dropped and then her eyes widened in panic, seeing how they were dressed “But we aren’t dressed for a beach party! Why did no one tell me?”

“They must’ve thought you knew” Kyle shrugged “don’t worry, we’re perfect. Ash told me the place has a wooden footbridge and chairs and all, is like a restaurant in the beach, so you’re fine. She’s going pretty elegant too, we’re okay.”

“Okay, great!” Ali smiled “Wow, this is so weird, but so exciting! Okay, let me put the flowers in the room and let’s go, where’s Ash by the way?”

“She told me she went because she made the reservation and she had to get there early, so she told me to pick you up for her.” Kyle explained as they got inside the bedroom again and Ali settled the bouquet in a jar before they went out again and started walking down the corridor.

“Aw, that’s so nice of her.” Ali said happily. Then she realized over what they were walking “Kyle… why’s the corridor surrounded by flowers?” Kyle shrugged.

“No idea princess, I barely got here a couple hours ago.” Ali frowned suspiciously “Hey, we’re celebrating so it’s probably hotel’s idea. Plus, why bother questioning the things that are pretty?”

“I guess you’re right, it was just weird.” Ali shrugged and smiled away “Who cares, let’s have fun!”

As the elevator opened downstairs and they got out of it, they found all the team mates, including technical stuff and others, like Sermanni, the Orlando Pride coach, standing up in the corridor making a passageway for them. They all were elegant and grinning at them suspiciously and Ali’s jaw dropped seeing they all either held flowers, or little folded notes in colorful papers, or Ashlyn’s amazing drawings, a collection in particular that Ali had never seen and that was more beautiful than anything of hers Ali had ever seen, and included tons of paintings of Ali and Ashlyn.

“Guys what is going on? What is all of this about? Where’s Ash?” Ali asked puzzled.

“Kriegs, less questioning and more enjoying.” Christen smiled at her giving her the flowers she held “From Ash.”

Ali smiled and nodded. The flowers had a romantic small note with Ashlyn’s handwriting. Each note she was given was a beautiful romantic note of Ashlyn, all brief but full of meaning. The passageway ended in a limousine where Ali was guided to, and by which Chris Harris, Ashlyn’s brother, stood. He hugged Ali from ear to ear.

“I’m your bodyguard for the night.” He said with a grin. Ali just chuckled, speechless.

The limousine gave the trio a whole ride around the prettiest places of Tokyo. The sun was starting to go to sleep when the car parked by a cliff right by the ocean, right when the sky was orange and pink. Ali got out of the car, each of her brothers at one side of her, both dressed somewhat elegantly, and found herself standing on a green grass, in a huge beautiful green zone with beautiful trees, all illuminated with candles all of the team mates -and Ali found out, surprised, that there were Canadian, Swedish and Australian players too, that there were the only ones left in the city- were holding, standing there looking smooth and smiling, along with some friends of the couple that had come all the way from different places. The views were astonishing, but before seeing the orange sky and the ocean, Ali realized their friends, all looking happy and some quite emotional, were forming another passageway holding the candles and at the same time the passageway was formed by different easels, each holding a huge photograph of the couple either in romantic moments -like one of them dancing, Ali’s cheek pressed against Ashlyn’s chest- or happy moments of their careers, like the day Ali, as captain, raised the World Cup with Ashlyn by her side. As the couple hadn’t made their relationship public -aside for to their friends- yet, those photos were mostly never before seen.

Ella McLeod, who was now a player in the US Women’s National team, was playing a portable piano near them while her wife, Canada’s goalkeeper and good friend of Ashlyn, Erin McLeod, was singing softly some of the most meaningful songs for Ali and Ashlyn as a couple. Ali felt herself tear up just by standing there.

“Come on princess, time to see your love.” Chris whispered by her ear, taking the flowers Ali was holding so she had her arms free. They walked and Ali nervously and happily hugged each of their friends, who refused to give any explanation at all. When Ali saw Ashlyn, smooth with one of her suits -Ali’s personal favorite- and her hair perfectly brushed, standing at the end of the passageway with a huge smile, Ella stopped playing and all the friends gathered around them.

“Baby what’s all of this?” Ali whispered nervously feeling her heart beating strongly as a tear fell down her cheek.

Ashlyn grinned walking towards her and holding her hands between her own.

“You sure are the prettiest here, Queen” Ashlyn whispered with teary eyes. The atmosphere was orange and pink thanks to the sun and Ali was in one of the most beautiful places she had ever seen, and still Ashlyn only had eyes for her.

“You look great too.” Ali commented, making Ashlyn chuckle nervously. Ali realized Kyle was taking photos and probably videos.

“I know you’ve always wanted big stuff. To be able to yell with all your lung capacity the good news, to be able to celebrate with your people, to be in the top of the world” Ashlyn started “so this is for you. Alex, you’re the love of my life. You’re my everything. You deserve everything and that’s all I’m ever going to settle with giving you. All the best for my queen.” Ali was full crying now and not caring about it. Plus, her make-up was waterproof. Ashlyn breathed deeply to keep herself together “I’ve seen hell in life, and I don’t know how or why, but life chose to give me heaven too and you came. You’ve been there through some of the worst and some of the best times of my life, and you’ve been my rock. Without you, I wouldn’t be here. When I was little and suffering all kinds of crap, I never thought the kind of happiness you’ve given me even existed, I didn’t believe a love like this was actually real and not just pure literature and Disney movies, but you showed me how wrong I was and I’ve never been happier to be wrong. I don’t have to wait to win the Olympics to be in the top of the world because I’ve been in the top of the world ever since our first kiss. I can’t live without you and after this whole hell of a ride we’ve had, after all the ups and downs, I don’t want to wait a minute more to call you my wife. I also think you’ve waited long enough. So, Alexandra Blaire Krieger…” Ashlyn smiled huge as she knelt on one knee and pulled out a tiny box, opening it and showing a ring with a big stone like Ali liked, better than anything Ali had ever dreamt of, and Ali drowned a sob putting a hand over her mouth. She could feel her knees shaking and Ashlyn’s smile just got bigger even if her eyes were teary “…you’ve already made me the happiest person in the world, but would you also make me the honor of becoming my wife, and my queen, for the rest of our lives?”

“Answer!” Kyle elbowed Ali with a laugh when he got impatient as Ali tried to find her voice. Ali chuckled and nodded

“Yes! Yes, I’ll be your wife!” Ali yelled excitedly and as Ashlyn finally gave her the big rock and the couple kissed and hugged, their friends cheered. They were in for one amazing next part of their lives.


	2. Knocked out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashlyn gets a major concussion that will put her life at risk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like this! Two chapters in one day because I'm feeling generous ;) as is my first time in AO, I would love to see some reviews and see what you, my new readers, think ;)

The day of the finals, Ashlyn found herself more nervous than ever. They were playing against Canada, that was one of the best teams in the world, and Erin was one amazing goalkeeper. The whole team was really good and Ashlyn knew they were going to have to do their truly best performance.

“You’ll do great.” Ali reassured her fiancée as they changed in the locker room before the match, hugging her “And even if we lose, I’ll be happy. We’ll get a good silver, we’ll go home and we’ll get married. So no risking your neck, uh? Play safe.”

“Yeah” Ashlyn smiled “you too.” She leant for a little peck “Thanks Queen.”

“Hey, I was thinking…” Ali shrugged “After this I want to flash my big rock as much as possible and well, uhm, since we don’t have to worry about being kicked out of the National team anymore and we know the Pride is supportive as hell… we could make our relationship public. They already know anyway.” Ashlyn bit her lip and thought about it for a moment before finally smiling and nodding.

“You’re right. I’m kissing you right on the mouth once we get our medals.” Ashlyn resolved. Ali grinned.

“I’d love that. Let’s drive everybody mad, cause a couple heart attacks…”

“Oh, my queen is evil, I like that.” Ashlyn chuckled. They were about to kiss again when the coach came in.

“Come on girls, is time!”  
. . .

It was the 78th minute of the match, that was in a tight 2-1 after a very exciting first half, and US had the lead, but barely. The match had started with a quick ceremony for Ali and Ashlyn after the public announcement of their retirement from the National Team, to honor them.

“Alex!” Ashlyn pressured Ali’s as a Canadian defender was getting too close, having gotten the whole goal zone to fill with players and Ali redoubled her efforts to steal the ball but when the Canadian saw herself about to lose it, she decided to throw the ball to the goal. Ashlyn jumped and, since the goal was so full of people, she collided with someone and fall backwards, the back of her head hitting the goal post full force.

Everything went in slow motion and the whole stadium seemed to paralyze while Ashlyn’s body fell limp against the grass with a thud, her head doing a heart-shattering bounce. 

Ali stood, pale, waiting for Ashlyn to move. She couldn’t hear anything. She didn’t know what was going on. But then she heard someone yelling Ashlyn’s name and realized it was herself, as she ran to her fiancée, who had just started having seizures. The players ran to the goalkeeper, who had fell face down against the grass.

“Call an ambulance!” Ali yelled as she reached Ashlyn, falling on her knees “Ash! Ash!” she moved to get her fingers inside of Ashlyn’s mouth and make sure her tongue wasn’t being gulped, and didn’t dare to touch Ashlyn’s further in case she hurt her more. Ashlyn’s eyes where white and she was shaking so hard. Then, suddenly, she stopped and she just laid there, white, eyes closed, no movement “Ash! Ash!” Ali had tears down her cheeks and was starting to panic.

“Ali get out of here.” Ali heard Alex Morgan’s broken voice as her arms wrapped around Ali, who was hovering over Ashlyn, crying, rubbing her back.

“No!” Ali yelled panicking “Ashlyn! Ashlyn wake up!” but Ashlyn wasn’t moving. The players were in dead silence and the meds ran to them, quickly forming a circle around Ashlyn. 

Between Alex and the coach, who had ran into the field, they held Ali back at a prudent distance, and Ali didn’t care if the most potent sound in the stadium was her yelling or if everyone saw her cry in hysterics. Ashlyn wasn’t moving one centimeter and her mouth was awkwardly half opened against the grass, a lonely drop of sweat falling down her face.

The medical team put a neck brace and an oxygen mask on Ashlyn and carefully maneuvered to turn her around, making sure her head and neck were still. They quickly checked for her pulse and, not finding one, started quickly doing CPR trying to bring her back. Three long minutes went by and the team finally ripped Ashlyn’s jersey wide open, revealing her torso paler than Ali had ever seen it, no trail of the toasted skin of the beach girl from Florida, and after removing the oxygen mask started defibrillating her. Finally, after full five minutes of no answer, Ashlyn’s chest raised up as Ashlyn took a deep breath and started coughing, gasping for air and Ali, who had fallen to her knees in tears, stopped crying suddenly and stared at Ashlyn in disbelief. The doctors carefully moved Ashlyn to rest on her side on recovery position, very careful with her neck, and Ashlyn kept coughing until the oxygen mask was returned to her face. Then, Ashlyn slowly blinked a couple times and her eyes locked with Ali’s, and Ali saw her mouth her name.

“Do you know your name?” A doctor asked checking her pupils, putting her on her back again and moving the oxygen mask to hear her.

“Ash… Ashlyn” Ashlyn whispered hoarsely.

“Good, Ashlyn, can you move your fingers?” the doctor asked. They had removed Ashlyn’s goalkeeper gloves and the doctor was touching her hands, that moved, even if it was just slightly “awesome Ash, do you feel my fingers?”

“Yeah…” Ashlyn whispered. The stands were cheering out Ashlyn’s surname “I feel like crap doc…”

“I know, we’ll get you out of here soon. Can you feel this?” he asked removing Ashlyn’s cleats and grabbing her toes over the socks. Ashlyn moved her toes.

“Yes… Ali… where’s my fiancée?” Ashlyn whispered hoarsely barely opening her eyes, confused.

“I’m here, I’m here!” Ali launched herself forward and kissed her forehead, grabbing a hand “I’m here baby.” Ashlyn’s eyes opened, looking for her and smiling when they found her. The pupils were uneven, but at least she saw her.

“There is my sunshine.” Ashlyn whispered “I’m sorry… I wanted to finish with you…”

“It’s okay baby. We have more important games to play, and in those, we’re endgame always.” Ali smiled through a new wave of tears, stroking her pale face. Ashlyn managed a tiny smile.

“Finish the game okay? For me… get the medal… enjoy the celebration for the two of us… so you can tell me all about it… later…” Ashlyn seemed to be truly exhausted and the medical team moved her into a stretcher, putting a blanket over her. Ali grabbed her hand.

“I promise.” Ali nodded knowing how important it was for Ashlyn to make sure Ali enjoyed that day for the two of them despite what had happened. If not, Ashlyn would always feel guilty “I love you so much baby. I love you. I’ll see you at the hospital in a bit over an hour okay? You have to hold on, for me. Stay strong, okay?” Ali said with a broken voice.

“I promise.” Ashlyn whispered weakly “I can’t wait to marry you.” Ali chuckled through a sob “I love you, Alex.”

“I love you. I’ll do my job and win this, you do yours and win me my wife, okay?” Ashlyn smiled weakly.

“You can count on it.” Before abandoning the pitch, Ashlyn raised an arm up from the stretcher and saluted the fans, who roared. Ali chuckled.

“Wait!” Ali told the doctors “Can I?” Ali asked Ashlyn. Ashlyn looked confused for a moment and then smiled and nodded. Ali then leant over Ashlyn and gave her an earth-shattering kiss. The stands roared even higher and Ashlyn left the pitch to ‘Krashlyn!’ screams.

Ali played the full 90 minutes as she promised, and went to the hospital after taking her time to enjoy the after match. She wanted to make sure she enjoyed every minute of it and remembered so she could tell Ashlyn all about it. After Ashlyn left the pitch, the team and mostly Ali had been very shaken up, but they had reunited, the coach had declared this game was for Ashlyn, the players had agreed that it was actually for Krashlyn -to the coach’s confusion- and they had came back stronger than ever.

“How is she?” Ali had found Kyle, Chris, her parents -including her dad’s new wife and children- and Ashlyn’s parents, grandmother, cousin Corey and his wife and children, in the corridor of the hospital.

“She’s pretty good for the scare she has given us” Ashlyn’s dad, Mike, said with a consternated face “we were just kicked out of the ICU because visiting hours are over, but we were with her for like half an hour and she was semi-conscious and answered correctly to easy stuff. The doctors are keeping her in tight observation, they said she got a major concussion but her head is tough and she didn’t get any internal bleeding or anything, just a swollen brain.”

“She’s been incredibly lucky.” Chris breathed out in relief. Ali sighed in relief and felt the tears come back, so breathed deeply to control herself.

“Even though we’re all incredibly worried about Ashlyn…” Tammye started. Ali looked at her and realized the woman was so worried about her daughter she had lost a lot of color, and she was naturally a very toasted person “…I think congratulations are in order” Tammye grinned at Ali, who smiled thankful “good job honey.” Tammye said hugging Ali tightly and giving her a kiss on the cheek “and thank you for taking care of our girl out there.” Ali breathed deeply to keep herself together, not wanting to crumble again -she had already done it in the shower back at the stadium- and in front of everyone.

“We’re getting married.” Ali blurted out suddenly. Tammye pulled apart and looked at her with wide eyes and Ali nervously showed her the big stone on her finger “Ash proposed after we won the semifinals. She and I wanted to tell you tonight.”

“Oh my God! That is wonderful sweetheart!” Tammye grinned from ear to ear hugging her again tightly. The rest of the family also joined to congratulate them, with the exception of Kyle and Chris, who already knew because they had been there that night. Ali, however, only had her mind set in seeing Ashlyn and quickly but politely ended the congratulations.

“Do you guys think being her fiancée they’ll let me see her even if visiting hours are over?” Ali asked.

“Sure thing, let me speak with the doctor.” Mike, Ashlyn’s dad, tranquilized her.

When Ali entered the ICU, she saw it was a big room filled with beds with very sick patients. It was kind of saddening to be there, seeing people looking so badly, but Ali pulled through and looked for the glass wall Chris had told her about. Ali approached it the minute she found it and saw behind it Ashlyn was sleeping on a bed, her head supported on a bunch of pillows and sheets covering her nude body that had many cables connected to. Ali breathed deeply and opened the door, entering the tiny adjacent room. It was dark and kept away the noise from the main ICU room, which Ali imagined was the reason for Ashlyn to be there more isolated. That, or her fame. Ali looked at the screens of the monitors and let out a breath of relief seeing her fiancées vitals, before looking back at the bed and approaching it slowly.

Ashlyn was slightly sitting up against a bunch of pillows, covered with the sheets and blankets to the neck and still looking a bit pale. She had an oxygen mask on her face, which made her make a noise similar to Dark Vader when she breathed, but the neck brace was gone. There were cables attached to tiny patches that were stuck on her skin under the sheets, and a tiny chair next to the bed. Ali moved it closer to Ashlyn and sat there, rubbing her eyes to make sure she didn’t start crying again and putting one hand over Ashlyn’s body over the sheets. Taking a deep breath, she raised her other hand and slowly, with a huge amount of care, stroke Ashlyn’s cheek with the back of her hand before having the courage to stroke her forehead with her palm. The hand that rested over the sheets moved to the verge of the bed and sneaked under the sheets, finding and gripping Ashlyn’s hand softly.

“Ash, it’s Ali, I’m here. We won the gold Ash. And you’re going to be okay too.” Ali whispered next to her ear, before pressing a lingering kiss against her forehead “I love you. Whenever you’re ready, I’m here. We all are.” Ali had been informed Ashlyn was sedated because the pain was really big, not only in her head but in her back and chest from the fall and the defibrillation strength, and that way she’d be able to rest until her head was more recovered.

It took a day and a half for Ashlyn to finally wake up. She knew her name, that she was a professional soccer player, she knew she was to be married to Ali, knew who Ali was, recognized her family and the pictures of her friends and team. She could move her hands and feet, but her limbs felt sore and heavy, which the doctors said it was normal and temporary. Apparently it was one of those things that looked terrible and horrible and one hell of a scary experience for everyone in the team, but then wasn’t so bad and Ashlyn was cracking jokes about her slight slurring two minutes after having just woken up.

“So you don’t remember anything?” Ali asked Ashlyn as she sat next to the bed. Ashlyn had been moved to a bigger room all for herself in one of the highest floors and the hospital was pretty fancy, so they were quite comfortable. Ashlyn sighed.

“I remember the first half of the game. And the break… but after that is all pretty blurry. I remember a couple catches maybe… and I remember your lips against mine and a roaring public.” Ashlyn said with a low raspy voice, smirking at the end. She no longer needed oxygen support -she actually never needed it but it had been given to her while she was weaker to help her body make less efforts- and she found bright lights and noise quite disturbing, so she herself lowered her voice and asked everyone to do the same too. 

The room was also with the lights off and the curtains covered the windows making the light of the day filter through them and weaken a bit, so it wouldn’t bother Ashlyn. After having done her fair share of throwing up and recovering from that for a bit, she was now eating a yoghurt while talking to Ali.

The long-haired brunette nodded and smiled looking down of Ashlyn, who now looked a lot more like herself. It had mostly been the scare.

“I brought something for you.” Ali said with a little smile, rummaging in her purse and getting two golden medals. Ashlyn’s face brightened and she chuckled.

“My gold!”

“Congratulations Ms. Harris.” Ali said putting the medal around Ashlyn’s neck. Ashlyn grinned taking it in her hand, still in disbelief, with teary eyes “You got us this. Alyssa let a couple in but we scored a couple more too.”

“We got us this” Ashlyn corrected, accepting a kiss from Ali, who had also put her medal on “I’m so proud of you all. After all that happened you all still came back and rocked the last minutes and did such an amazing job, each and every single one of you. But you, particularly. I remember how it has been for me to see you get taken away with a concussion and it scared the crap out of me, can’t even imagine how I’d be if you had actually died there and come back. You truly are a warrior Krieger.” Ashlyn had so much pride in her eyes it was moving for Ali, who leant for another kiss.

“Good things rub” Ali smirked looking at Ashlyn “so how are you feeling?”

“I’m okay, truly. I know it’s hard to believe, but aside from the weakness, the sensitivity to light and noise, the headaches that come and go and the way everything spins if I move my head too fast, I’m okay. I can even touch my nose with my finger.” Ashlyn assured.

“And your chest, does it still hurt?” Ali asked worried.

“No, it’s slightly uncomfortable, but it’s not from the lungs or heart, is just sore ribs and back muscles. My neck is a bit tight. But I’ll be fine, the physiotherapist came earlier and massaged me a little bit, and when we’re in Orlando again I’ll get Chris and get back in shape in no time.” Chris Gorres was their favorite special trainer back in Florida. Ashlyn felt guilty and wanted to make sure everyone was calm about her and didn’t worry too much. It had been a big scare for her too and somewhat traumatizing, but she knew the one who had had it the worst had been Ali, who lived it front row and also felt guilty for not having caught that ball before the kick was made and Ashlyn had to go for it. Ali had been the one to get her tongue out of her mouth so she wouldn’t asphyxiate with it, to yell for help, to fall on her knees powerless while her fiancée died a few centimeters away from her.

Coach O’Reilly and different members of the team had passed by during the morning, including Ashlyn’s family before Chris and her grandma took a plane back to Orlando. The grandmother was too old for those trips, and Chris had work that couldn’t miss any longer. Ali’s family also came around and Kyle was sitting close by too, looking at the newspaper.

“I don’t understand a thing” Kyle commented “but you’re making front page.” Kyle showed them the newspaper, that had in the front cover a huge picture of the USWNT celebrating the gold on the pitch with a weird vibe, since even though they looked happy and excited, you could also see a shadow of sadness all over. They didn’t know if Ashlyn was dead while they were there. Then, between the Japanese writing, Ashlyn’s name appeared a bunch of times, including a tiny picture of her lying on the stretcher while talking with Ali, who looked as pale and sick as she sure felt.

“Wow…” Ashlyn whispered.

The current roster had Heather O’Reilly as coach and the players were, aside from Ashlyn and Ali: Sydney Leroux, Whitney Engen, Morgan Brian, Jane Campbell, Crystal Dunn, Tobin Heath, Lindsey Horan, Julie Johnston, Rose Lavelle, Allie Long, Jessica McDonald, Samantha Mewis, Alex Morgan, Meghan Klingerbeg, Megan Rapinoe, Alyssa Naeher, Kelley O’Hara, Brianna Pinto, Mallory Pugh, Christen Press, Becky Sauerbrunn, Ella McLeod, Casey Short, Emily Sonnett and Lynn Williams. Who wasn’t there either had already retired or had no longer been invited to the team, while people like McLeod and Engen, who had once been part of the team and later weren’t, were now back on it again like they deserved. 

The door of the room had opened and Sydney Leroux, Whitney Engen, Crystal Dunn, Tobin Heath, Allie Long, Alex Morgan, Carmelina Moscato -Canadian defender friend of the couple- and Ella and Erin McLeod came in. The others had already been there during the day, since it was now past lunch time.

“Hey!” Ashlyn grinned at them “Congrats on the new necklaces, by the way!” Ashlyn joked raising her voice a little bit in enthusiasm. The team came in as quiet as they could with the excitement they had, and all greeted Ashlyn lovingly.

“For our favorite zombie” Whitney chuckled leaving a big bouquet of flowers on top of a drawer close by.

“Thanks, they’re so nice!” Ashlyn was happy to see them all.

“It’s so nice to see you” Erin commented smiling at her friend “girl, I would not have been happy with winning on you guys if you had died there.”

“Yeah sure like you could’ve won either way…” Ella joked playfully elbowing Erin, who rolled her eyes with a chuckle, and some of the girls laughed.

“Your wife is right though, we’re unstoppable. Although who knows, now that we’re retiring maybe you can catch Alyssa in a bad day one day if you’re very lucky” Ali added jokingly.

“How is it going, by the way?” Allie asked “You look great for what we saw on the field.”

“I am great” Ashlyn nodded. Ali rolled her eyes.

“No big lights, no big noises, weakness, headaches…” Ali started listing using her fingers.

“And alive, so I’m awesome at this point.” Ashlyn shrugged and winced a little “I just wish having so many attempts of being brought back didn’t hurt afterwards. But yeah, I’ll be flying home tomorrow tops, you’ll see.”

“The doctor said maybe…” Ali intervened.

“But is going to happen, I need to see our trainer, he’s the best for these things. I’ll hold on during the flight like a big girl.”

“Well, take it easy uh? We don’t want the luck to pass just because you’re in a hurry.” Sydney said motherly.

“Wait, have you seen what happened?” Alex asked.

“I haven’t had the guts, but everyone told me their version.” Ashlyn answered.

“There are videos all over YouTube” Carmelina commented “I haven’t seen them because the in person was more than enough, but they exist.”

“I’ll watch them when I feel like it then” Ashlyn said with a nod.

“You don’t have to” Ali intervened.

“I know, but I want to. Everyone’s talking about it, I want to see it with my own eyes see if I can fully comprehend what happened.”

“But it’s horrible and traumatizing, why would you do that to yourself?” Ali said puzzled staring at her fiancée “We lost you. We actually lost you. For eight minutes I was a widow before I was even a wife, why would you want to watch the replay when you already know everything?” Ali had lowered her voice and looked upset, so Ashlyn reached for her hand and squeezed it.

“Ali, I’m so sorry you lived that and I don’t want you to re watch it but I need to” Ashlyn said softly “eventually… Alex I need to know, not for what people say but for myself. It’s a shock for me too and I’ve got to deal with it. I know is going to be rough, but I can’t bury it in a closet and refuse to acknowledge it further.” Ali stared down for a while and then looked up at her and nodded.

“You’re right… I just don’t want you to suffer more.” Ashlyn smiled sympathetically and reached to caress her cheek.

“I know, you’re the best. I’m the luckiest with you.”

“Hey guys, what if we get a big selfie all together since we all have our medals and Ashlyn wasn’t in the ceremony?” Ali suggested. The Americans got together around the bed cheering the idea and showing off their medals and Ashlyn sat up a little, leaving space at her sides for Kyle and Ali to sit too, and Erin pulled her phone looking proudly at Ella to take a few pictures of the team all cheering and being loud -with Ash’s consent- celebrating, and then Erin texted the pictures to everyone.

“Let me put it online!” Ashlyn said enthusiastically as Ali handed her phone “I want to let everyone know I’m fine so they don’t worry.” Ali smiled lovingly knowing she was worried for the many kids that were in the match, some of their own families, like little Jenson.

Ashlyn contemplated the photo with a grin, seeing she looked pretty good for someone who almost died, with her sharks t-shirt, a shark soft toy that Ali had brought her in the morning from the hotel, gifted by the fans, resting on her lap, and Ali kissing her on the cheek. Kyle, Ali and she were so close together, with their arms around each other, that they fully looked like family, and the rest of the team looked pretty nice too. Ashlyn posted the picture in her Instagram: Thank you all for the well wishes. I didn’t want to worry anyone. I’m already feeling tons better and chillin’ here with the gals celebrating our win and my good spirits ;) GO USA!.


	3. When your mind is out of place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The effects of the concussion begin to be noticeable ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your comments nethog! I really appreciate them. I'm glad for the kudos and the good response! I hope you like this chapter, let me know ;)

Ashlyn was at the hospital for three whole days, during which the US Federation decided the whole team was there too, unless some of them wanted to leave on their own, to avoid leaving Ashlyn and Ali behind and to be able to fly everyone in the plane the US had put for them. So a bit over an hour after Ashlyn’s release, they were all in the place, excited about being received in the States with so much appreciation.

However, Ashlyn was starting to notice the flaws of not being at the hospital. First, she wasn’t about to ask for a wheelchair knowing she had to walk, which meant a lot of physical exhaustion quite fast and even more when her body still felt heavy and the world spun if she moved too fast, so she was constantly holding onto Ali, who didn’t mind at all. Second, she didn’t have so many meds anymore, so she resigned to suffering more the headaches and body ache. And third, she had forgotten real life out of the hospital was so loud and luminous.

“Why don’t you try to sleep a little? It’s quite a long flight.” Ali said lovingly to Ashlyn as they sat on the plane. Ali loved to be next to the window, but she had left the seat for Ashlyn, put down the little blind of the window, and now was accommodating one of the pillows the staff gave them against her shoulder for Ashlyn to sleep on it. Ashlyn, who looked exhausted, glanced at her with a dazzled expression and gave a nod letting her head fall against the pillow with a moan.

“Thank you, love.”

“Anything for my fiancée.” Ali smiled leaning to kiss her on the head, stroking her cheek. Ashlyn still had a bump on her crown quite biggie, but now it was covered with an USWNT beanie. Ashlyn sighed contently closing her eyes and hugging Ali’s arm and Ali looked at a flight attendant “Excuse me, can you give me a blanket for her?”

As Ali carefully put the blanket over Ashlyn, she realized the woman had already fallen asleep and smiled contemplating her sleep. Both their seats were leant back somewhat so it almost looked like going to sleep in Orlando any ordinary day and Ali soon fell asleep too, her nostrils full of Ashlyn’s smell. When she woke up Ashlyn was still asleep and Allie was filming a video for the Internet, while the team was in a cheery upbeat moment that somehow hadn’t woken up Ashlyn, who snuggled up against Ali almost in her seat more than in her own, snoring lightly. When Allie approached them with the camera Ali smiled and put a finger over her lips to signal her to not speak loud. Thankfully their part of the plane was less noisy, since it was a small plane only used for the USWNT.

“Hi” Allie whispered melodiously.

“Hey” Ali grinned at the camera. She had an arm wrapped by Ashlyn and her free hand stroke Ashlyn’s cheek softly.

“Did I wake you up?” Allie asked, but Ali shook her head “Oh my God so cute!” Allie pointed to Ashlyn with the camera “Our keeper’s resting…!”

“Yeah… we’ve got a long while until we get home” Ali commented stroking Ashlyn’s cheek. In that moment Ashlyn moved to press herself more against Ali and Ali’s ring flashed on the phone, but Allie moved the camera away.

“Where’s your gold Kriegs?” Allie asked with a chuckle pointing at Ali.

“My gold?” Ali pointed to Ashlyn with a movement of her face and smirked “There you have it.”

“Aww!”

A while later Ashlyn woke up and stirred yawning wide and rubbing her face.

“Did you sleep well?” Ali asked with a sweet loving voice.

“Yeah” Ashlyn yawned again “you good?”

“Yes” Ali smiled at how sweet Ashlyn was “you? Want anything? Water?”

“Nah, I’m fine” Ashlyn smiled a little “my head doesn’t hurt anymore so that’s neat.”

“Okay, good” Ali smiled reaching for Ashlyn’s face. She thought of how she had died in front of her, how hard she had prayed for Ashlyn to come back, to breathe again, for her, for them, and how happy she had been when Ashlyn had started coughing and gasping for air. A big sense of gratitude invaded her and she smiled “I love you so much Ash.” Ashlyn smiled.

“Well that’s cheesy” Ashlyn shrugged “you wanna know what’s cheesier?” Ali raised her eyebrows questioningly “I love you so much too. So hard, I’m going to marry you, Queen B.” Ali chuckled with the tongue between her teeth.

“Hey remember the first video Kyle made interviewing you? Where you said you were going to get married in a cheap easy wedding in the woods?” Ashlyn nodded slowly “You do know I’m not accepting that, right?” she asked getting serious. Ashlyn let a guffaw out.

“We’ll find a balance. I’m not worried, being married is about finding a common point in the middle isn’t it?” Ashlyn shrugged.

“Damn yes.” Ali grinned kissing her.

“I just hope we do better than our parents did.” Ashlyn whispered after the kiss, her face held between Ali’s delicate and soft hands.

“We will, I know we will.” Ali nodded with confidence in herself “We’re endgame.”

“How many children are we going to have?” Ashlyn asked suddenly.

“Two.” Ali smiled “A boy and a girl. And a couple French bulldogs. And no snakes in the garage.” She added in reference to a video Ashlyn made once of a snake that had moved into her garage. Ashlyn smirked and nodded.

“Sounds good to me. What if we have two boys or two girls?”

“Then, we’ll have three. Or four. Whatever it takes.” Ali resolved as if it was an obvious answer, and Ashlyn laughed and nodded, rolling her eyes.

“Yes my queen.” Ashlyn pointed at Ali’s ring “Have you flashed it to the whole internet already? Princess must be aching to brag.”

“Actually, I was waiting for you. I thought since you weren’t there much when we kissed and ‘came out’, you should be for this. I thought we could maybe take a romantic pic where the ring showed?”

“I’d love to.” Ashlyn nodded with a side smile.

“What is my artistic girlfriend thinking of?”

“Mmm” Ashlyn smiled “leave your hands on my cheeks and I’ll just get my phone out and take it. Trust me” They did as she said and Ali looked at the picture, not understanding how it had come out so amazingly. In the picture, they looked like they had just kissed, Ali’s hands lovingly holding Ashlyn’s face, the ring showing perfectly, and their eyes closed, their lips almost touching, their faces so close, and it looked so intimate and loving. Ali loved how they weren’t actually kissing, but it was such a moving picture without that, it got an effect of magnetism between them “It’s great, isn’t it?”

“It’s amazing!” Ali was truly amazed “I love it!” Ali grinned and posted it online in Instagram after a quick talk with Ashlyn to decide what it was going to say ‘ _Hey guys, now that we’re retiring from our national careers and soon from soccer completely, Ashlyn and I just wanted to thank you for all your continuous support during our whole careers and even more during the hard times like the ones lived very recently. We decided we felt so thankful we wanted to share this with you, a big reason to be very happy after all the hell that happened in the final game. So let me share this with you. After we won the semifinals, Ash finally gave me my long desired big rock. We celebrated with friends and family and the plan was to kiss when we finished the last match to give you all the satisfaction of seeing it finally happen. We don’t want to hide anymore, because we no longer have the strong reasons we used to have. We’re not going to be very public about it, we don’t want our fame to happen for who we are with but for who we are individually, but at least we wanted to give you that. Unfortunately, it couldn’t be the way we had wanted, but at least you guys will have this one? So yeah… thank you for everything. Ash is LOVING all the sharks and I’m taking good care of her. WE ALL are. You’re unbelievably amazing and this has been one amazing ride, so I hope you’ll stay for the next one ;D_ _P.D.: We need to convince the surfer to have my big princess wedding now guys_.’

.           .           .

Ali came back home from training with the Orlando Pride to find Ashlyn lying on the sofa staring at the ceiling.

“Hi” Ali smiled leaning to kiss her.

“Hi!”

“You okay?”

“Yeah.” Ashlyn nodded “How did it go?”

“Good, we had fun. And you with Chris Gorres?”

“It was okay. A bit hard but fine.” Ashlyn nodded “I just… I wanted to go to the beach afterwards, I had time” Ali nodded sitting on the verge of the sofa “and then… I got lost. I got lost, Ali. I forgot where I was and got completely disorientated. I had to use my phone’s GPS.” Ali looked sympathetically at her and squeezed her hand.

“It’s normal sweetie, you hit your head really hard but it will pass. You’ll be recovered sooner than you think and then this confusion will pass.”

“You think so?” Ashlyn asked looking up at her.

“I know so.” Ali reassured her with a smile “You’re Ashlyn Michelle freaking Harris, you’re the toughest dude out there!”

“Okay, dude” Ashlyn laughed and sat up, leaning to kiss her, thankful. The kiss soon heated and Ashlyn snuck her hand under Ali’s shirt rubbing her skin while trying to undo Ali’s bra, which made Ali pull apart and remove Ashlyn’s hand. Ashlyn looked puzzled “Don’t you want this?”

“Of course I want this…” Ali bit her lip and shrugged feeling guilty “the doctor said you shouldn’t be doing any big physical activity. Sex is a big physical activity Ash, so we can’t.” Ashlyn frowned.

“What? No, we… I can eat you out! And then you can eat me out! That way we can have something without having to work so hard, come on Alex…” Ashlyn put her arms around Ali and went to attack her neck, but Ali pushed her away.

“Ash, I said no.” Ali said more firmly. Ashlyn looked at her with a mixture between confused, dazzled, hurt and angry.

“This has nothing to do with my concussion isn’t it? You just don’t want me anymore.” Ashlyn shook her head getting up and walking away.

“Ash, you know that’s not true.” Ali rolled her eyes and then got up walking after Ashlyn “Babe! I do want you! It’s just… I can’t! You can’t! You need to rest Ash!”

“You know I’m still useful Ali” Ashlyn said while walking to the living room “I might not be able to play or to math or surf right now, but I can for sure love my woman right…” she rambled sounding angrier and more upset by the second.

“I know” Ali interrupted her “Ash, please baby, I love you but this… this isn’t because you aren’t still good at it, you are I’m sure you are, is just dangerous for your health I don’t want to risk it.”

“You’re wrong!” Ashlyn roared suddenly turning away and glaring at Ali, who stopped dead in her tracks seeing how angry Ashlyn was “I’m useful! I can do this!”

“Sweetie” Ali sighed “please… don’t get mad at me okay? I promise I still love you I just want to play it safe now…”

“What do you think I am Ali?!” Ashlyn yelled angrily “You have no faith in me! You don’t believe in me! To you, I’m just furniture!” Ashlyn was visibly upset. She was yelling pretty loud by now, her eyes looking teary and angry, and she seemed like she didn’t know what to do with herself anymore. Ali stood in front of her puzzled, worried and shocked, without knowing what to do to help.

“That is not true!” Ali said starting to lose it not to anger but to sadness, her eyes teary and her voice trembling “Ashlyn, you’re a strong, capable woman, I will always believe in you what kind of nonsense are you saying?”

“Oh, now I’m nonsense?!” Ashlyn roared “You don’t fucking appreciate me and I’m fucking sick of you! I could go out any minute and fuck anyone, if you don’t want me I don’t need you!”

“I want you!” Ali yelled hurt.

“Then show me!” Ashlyn yelled back, proceeding to give a long step and trap Ali between her arms, kissing her angrily. Ali wasn’t having any of it, so she pushed Ashlyn back and then Ashlyn snapped “You bitch, you don’t dare push me back one single time more!” Ashlyn roared angrily clenching her teeth and glaring at Ali, who suddenly looked scared. Every muscle of Ashlyn was tense, her hands into fists and her breathing fast. Ali had never seen her like that and had no clue what to do.

“Ash, please, calm down honey. We can talk this through calmly, okay?” Ali’s voice trembled but she raised her hands to caress Ashlyn’s face and calm her down.

“Don’t you fucking put your hands on me!” Ashlyn yelled, hitting Ali’s arms away with her own arm. Ali stood there, in shock and, for the first time, absolute fear, shaking and hugging herself, walking backwards “Are you afraid of me?! Are you fucking afraid of me?!” Ashlyn yelled.

“Ash, please…” Ashlyn was walking threateningly towards her “Ash…”

“I’ll give you reasons to be scared, you fucking bitch!” Ashlyn grabbed Ali by the neck of the shirt and pushed her against the wall, Ali’s back hitting it strongly. Ali started sobbing and begging for her to let her go. Then the door of the house snapped open and Servando Carrasco and Alex Morgan, their neighbors, ran into the house.

“Ashlyn!” Alex yelled.

“Let her go!” Servando took Ashlyn from behind and pulled from her. Ashlyn let him take her easily, looking defeated, confused and puzzled. She had her eyes in Ali and she didn’t look pissed in the slighter anymore, just confused.

“What’s wrong with Ali? Alex? Alex! Are you okay Alex?” Ashlyn asked after a few seconds in silence. Alex ran to the other Alex, the one that was Ashlyn’s fiancée and that was now sitting on the floor hugging herself, crying her eyes out.

“Ali sweetie, it’s okay, it’s okay we’re here for you” Alex Morgan hugged Ali, both sitting on the floor, and glared at Ashlyn “I don’t know what the fuck you’ve done to her but you’re in serious trouble Harris.”

“What?” Ashlyn looked more confused and worried by the second “What happened to Ali?” she looked at Servando, who glared at her “Serv, let me go. Let me go, I have to take care of Ali.” Ashlyn pulled herself out of Servando’s arms and knelt in front of Ali, carefully, lovingly and delicately touching her head “Alex baby, what’s wrong? Who hurt you? Let me take care of you, I’ll make everything okay. I’ll protect you, I promise…” Ashlyn started crying, distressed “What’s wrong?! Ali! Let me help you!”

Husband and wife shared confused looks and then she looked at Ashlyn.

“Ashlyn, you hurt her. You hurt her, don’t you remember?”

“What? No, no, I would never hurt her. I love her!” Ashlyn defended herself “Ali, tell her. Tell her I never hurt you.” Ali slowly calmed herself down and now was just sobbing softly. She pulled from Alex and looked at Ashlyn, confused and hurt.

“Ashlyn, you hit me. You yelled at me, and when I tried to reach you, you hit my arms away.” Ali said between sobs.

“What?” Ashlyn sat looking completely lost, silent tears making their way down her eyes “Why are you saying such terrible things about me Ali? I love you, I’ve never yelled at you, why would I do that to you?” Ali looked at Alex, lost.

“She doesn’t remember?” Alex asked Ali, who shrugged, looking back to Ashlyn. Then, it clicked in her mind.

“Her head” Ali breathed out “it’s her head. She’s not okay.” Ali then stopped crying altogether, her face still wet, and launched herself towards Ashlyn, who sat on her ankles looking defeated and puzzled, like a little innocent kid. Ali put her hands on Ashlyn’s shoulders remembering Ashlyn, _her_ Ashlyn, would never hurt her “Ash baby, look at me. What’s the last thing you remember?” she said with a loving, affectionate voice.

“I… I just came from the beach.” Ashlyn said “What’s going on Ali? I’m scared. What’s going on? Why are you guys saying I hurt you?”

“Baby…” Ali bit her lip and hugged Ashlyn tightly “It’s going to be okay alright? It’s fine. We’re going to take you to the hospital and we’ll know what’s happening.”

“Why? What’s happening?” Ashlyn asked confused “Ali, my head’s killing me…”

“I know, I know… Serv” Ali looked at the guy, who stood there frowning in worry and confused “go take the car okay?” he nodded, leaving the house, and Ali looked at Ash “Sweetie, remember when the doctor said that sometimes you might act out of yourself because of your head?” Ashlyn nodded “Well that just happened and I think the fact that you don’t remember and that is hurting right now means something is wrong and we have to go have it checked out okay? But is going to be fine, I’m here with you.”

“Ali I’m sorry” Ashlyn sobbed out “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m sorry, I don’t remember. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m sorry!”

“I know. I know you didn’t mean to, it was just your head playing tricks on you.” Ali hugged her tightly.

Back in the hospital, they let them know Ashlyn had brain bleeding and needed urgent surgery, so they took her into the O.R. and the two Alexandras and Servando sat in the waiting room.

 


	4. Double trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sad times ahead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Thanks for those comments, keep them up! They really cheer me up! Also bookmark so you don't miss any updates :)

“There you go, good job” Ali smiled proudly seeing Ashlyn finish her little juice sitting up against the many pillows in bed. Ashlyn had a big bandage around her head and but looked happy, smiling at Ali, who sat on the verge of the bed. Ali took the empty cartoon box of juice and put it away “all good? Does anything hurt?”

“No, I’m okay.” Ashlyn said “Ali, I’m very sorry for all I did. The yelling and the hitting you… I’m so, so sorry. You know I’d never put a hand on you if I was in my right mind, I’m so sorry.” Ashlyn had been apologizing since the exact second she woke up after surgery the day before, nonstop. At least now she wasn’t crying about it anymore.

“It’s okay Ashlyn I told you, you don’t have to apologize anymore. I forgive you, I know that wasn’t sane you.” Ali smiled at her before kissing her on the lips.

“Good… because I love you Ali. I love you so, so much and I would rather break my hand against a rock…”

“…than hurt me. I know.” Ali nodded squeezing her hand “The important thing now is that you get better and fully recover, that’s our goal.”

“That’s our goal.” Ashlyn nodded “Thank you Ali. You could just leave and you’re here and helping and doing so much despite everything I’ve done…”

“You mean loving me, for so many years? Fighting for me? Taking care of me when I was sick? Pushing me forward when I couldn’t keep going, supporting me every single time through thick and thin unconditionally, forgiving me for my mistakes, standing my excess of princess time…?” Ali shrugged and smiled “You’ve done nothing but good to me. What happened back at home? That wasn’t you. My Ash will never touch me other than to take me to heaven. And you’re my fiancée so I’m never leaving you no matter what. I love you and that’s not about to change.”

Ashlyn sighed overwhelmed and moved her tattooed arms to hug Ali tightly against her. Ali kissed her cheek as they hugged and stayed there for a while, enjoying the embrace. Neither of them had any hurry to pull apart. The doctor had explained them there had been a tiny bleeding cloth in Ashlyn’s brain that at first had been too tiny to notice, but that it had grown with the days, worsening the headaches and augmenting the cranial pressure, worsening the symptoms for the concussion. They had had to do a tiny hole in her cranium in order to fix the bleeding and release the pressure and now Ashlyn felt tons better.

“How are my favorite girls?” Kyle entered the room holding a big shark toy, followed by Deb, the Kriegers’ mother. Kyle smiled at the couple, that pulled apart and Ashlyn’s arms reached to her toy.

“Mr. Wilkins!” Ashlyn hugged her toy and Ali chuckled hugging her mother and brother.

“How are you doing beautiful?” Deb affectionately squeezed Ashlyn’s thigh over the blankets.

“I’m much better” Ashlyn smiled a bit and nodded sincerely “it doesn’t even hurt that much anymore.”

“Good, we want you back on track soon” Deb pressed her lips against Ashlyn’s forehead “if you need anything you tell Deb-Deb okay?”

“Sure, thank you.” Ashlyn was truly thankful for her loving future mother-in-law.

“What does the doctor say?” Kyle asked.

“He says it should be all good now” Ali answered “the swelling of the brain should’ve been almost gone by now and they’ve really made sure there was no missing injury, so it’s pretty good news.”

“I don’t understand how the Japanese missed it…” Deb shook her head in disapproval.

“Well the bleeding was quite tiny then, plus, I guess they were pressured by the federation.” Ashlyn shrugged.

“However it was, it’s over now.” Ali leant and kissed Ashlyn on the head “By the way, I was thinking, the NWSL season is almost over…”

“Yeah…?” Ashlyn looked at her.

“I’ll retire after it.” Ali dropped. Ashlyn raised her eyebrows and cooked her head looking at her.

“Wow!” Kyle’s jaw dropped “Like fully leaving soccer?” Ali nodded.

“Do I have something to do with that?” Ashlyn asked frowning.

“Yeah, but not as in your head, just…” Ali shrugged “I’ve been thinking a lot about it and I’m happy here in Orlando, the Pride is doing so good and I’m sure it will be champions this year, and there’s just no point anymore. I’m old, tired, and have achieved all I could’ve dreamt of with soccer. I still love the game, but I want to focus on the wedding and children. At least one of us should be free for that and I have much more caps both in university, NWSL and USWNT than you do and plus I’m older and defenders aren’t usually very old while goalkeepers can be, so it should be me. I’m ready. You recover from that head thing, marry me, get back into the NWSL and I’m ready to get pregnant, be a stay at home mom, pursue other stuff and cheer for you in the stands with our babies.” Ali smiled with pride and Ashlyn’s lips slowly formed a huge grin.

“Are you serious?” Ashlyn asked chuckling, her eyes bright with excitement. Ali nodded, grinning.

“I’m telling you I’ve thought thoroughly about it and I’m very sure. I can already imagine it.” Ali said dreamingly.

“God, I love you” Ashlyn reached a hand to pull from Ali and kissed her.

“Aw, I can’t wait to have little Krashlyn babies around…” Kyle looked like about to cry and Deb smiled at him while Ali and Ashlyn kept kissing.

“Let’s go give this pair a bit of privacy son” Deb said putting an arm around Kyle and taking him away. Ali sat on the verge of the bed again putting her hands on Ashlyn’s hips.

“Hey Ash?” Ashlyn looked at her expecting “I trust you. I have faith in you, I believe in you. I’m your number one fan and I know you can do this. We can do this. And soon we’re gonna be a big happy family.” Ashlyn grinned.

“I can’t believe this. Princess Alexandra is stepping back to be in full cheering for me duty?”

“Yes” Ali nodded “which brings me back to another topic. I’ve always wanted to live in Washington.”

“Seattle?” Ashlyn joked.

“DC” Ali rolled her eyes and shook her head at her fiancée’s antics. Ashlyn nodded looking down.

“You’re giving up so much for me I guess I should give up wanting to live in Florida.” Ashlyn whispered.

“I’m not giving up anything for you Ashlyn, I’m choosing it’s time for me to embrace the next part of my life, for me and for my future and my family, you just happen to be a part of it” Ali didn’t want Ashlyn to feel guilty or responsible “and… it doesn’t mean you should do anything. We’re different people working at a different rhythm, you do whatever you feel is right for you when you’re ready and at your own pace, I’m not in a hurry. What I’m saying is yes, I’ve always wanted to go back to Washington. I wanted to play for the Spirit and win them the NWSL, and retire and stay there.”

“Okay…” Ashlyn shrugged “But I can’t play in Washington and plus the Spirit became the North Carolina Courage long ago…”

“I know. I’m not saying we have to move now, for now it’s got to be Orlando. You work here, I want you to finish your career in the Pride because I know it’s a good club that treats you how you deserve and I know how much you love it there. So we’ll get married here. And we’ll live here. And probably some baby will be born here, if not all. What I’m saying is regardless of my desire to be in Washington, right now my number one priority is to see you happy, and you’re perfect here, I’m not exactly suffering from being in a beautiful amazing place full of sun and beaches, I love it here, and I have no problem staying here for whatever it takes. I don’t want you to pressure yourself to finish, I want you to work for as long as you enjoy it, truly. Even if it is ten years, you know? If you enjoy it, do it and I’ll follow, it won’t be a pain in my ass, you won’t hear me complain.”

Ashlyn looked at her for a while, amazed.

“I thought you were going to pressure me into finish up soon so we can move to Washington” Ashlyn whispered. Ali smiled and shook her head.

“Look, Ash, I’m happy as hell and your path doesn’t interrupt or put mine on hold. Wherever is here or in Washington or anywhere else, I can still marry you, I can still have a family with you, I can still start a new career, I can still accomplish everything I want to and as long as I have that with you by my side, I’m going to have a blast and be happy and cheery and have everything I could’ve ever dreamt of. Where we live is secondary. Right now we live in an amazing place that I have no complaints of except for the distance with my family in Washington, and I’m not in a hurry to go anywhere. So if you want to play in the Pride for another ten, fifteen years? I’m going to be happy as hell to stay here with you, it doesn’t interfere with my dreams and goals or with my happiness. And whenever you’re done with the pride, we’ll think what happens then, whether to stay or not, but I am not in a hurry. I am happy. And I really, really want, it matters the most to me actually, for you to be happy, to play all the caps you haven’t and I have and even more if possible, to get more games and more time to enjoy it, to enjoy the game we love and that it gave us each other and so much more. So do it, follow your dreams and I will still be the happiest by your side. Your dreams don’t prejudice mine at all, if anything they make me happier because they bring you so much happiness so what else could I want?”

“Alexandra Krieger, you truly are amazing” Ashlyn kissed her, holding her face between her hands she looked straight in her eyes “I… I’m so thankful, so, so thankful. It means the world to me Ali.” Ali shrugged.

“Marriage is about keeping the middle of the cord in a balanced middle, right? No one pushes or pulls too much, we cede when we have to and demand when we have to, and kept it balanced. And I can’t keep this balanced if I’m always such a demanding bitch.”

“Hey” Ashlyn frowned “don’t speak so low of you. You’re amazing. You’re… you’re a dream of a wife and I’m going to be so proud of calling you that soon.”

“Just feel free of talking to me okay, miss master in communication?” Ali smiled “I don’t want our marriage to fail like our parents’ marriages did. I want us to feel free to communicate and demand and give in when it’s necessary, to not hold things in until we explode, to put love first always.”

“You’re right.” Ashlyn nodded giving her another kiss “We’re going to do well. We’ve learnt from the worst. I’m going to take a little nap okay?” Ali nodded “Have you told Tom yet? About retiring?”

“No, I wanted you to be the first.”

“Okay then call him. I support you Ali, whatever you want to do with your life, I’ll be cheering out for you, okay?” Ashlyn squeezed Ali’s hand “I’m your biggest fan, I’ll support you and stand by you through thick and thin.”

A few days after the surgery, Ashlyn started training daily with Chris Gorres, restlessly, which made her feel tons better. And the mood swings became less and less frequent being, when they happened, more like being with the period swings. A couple days before a match Portland Thorns vs. Orlando Pride, they held a girls’ night dinner at their house with Alex, Crystal (who played for the Pride now), Sydney (the Dwyer’s lived in Florida now and Sydney played for the Pride), Tobin, Meghan, Allie, and two that had come to visit Florida for a few days, Megan Rapinoe and Whitney Engen.

“Whit, pass me the water please” Ashlyn smiled at one of her best friends as they sat on the table eating dinner.

“This is so nice, just the girls partying, although I do miss the babies” Crystal commented.

“Don’t worry you’ll have some crying babies on Sunday when we beat Portland” Ali smirked looking at the Portland players, who complained jokingly.

“We’ll see” Tobin smiled.

“Hey girls how’s the wedding planning going?” Allie asked Ali and Ashlyn.

“We have it on hold until Ashlyn has her head more in the game” Ali smiled sympathetically at her fiancée.

“What? But you have it all planned since you were a baby, come on. I had already counted on that speeding up the process.” Ashlyn looked surprised and the girls laughed.

“Ali wants to rent Disney and have a royal wedding.” Sydney said laughing.

“No, I want a big wedding in a big pretty place like some castle but not Disney, and all luxurious and nice with my pretty white dress and flowers everywhere.” Ali said with a dreamy smile. Ashlyn jokingly pretended to vomit and Ali slapped her arm playfully “Okay let me guess, you want your wedding in the forests all humble and with twenty guests. Tell you what, how are we going to have twenty guests if only our closest family make like… fourteen? We have to invite the girls, and Jamie Tworkowski, and Tom, and Chris, and I have plenty of friends I’d want to invite and then there’s my cousins…”

“Okay” Ashlyn rose her hands in defeat “more than 20 guests, I get it. We’ll find some balance between your plans and mine honey, don’t worry about that. But please, don’t start inviting people just to be polite, only if they’re special people.”

“I know, I know…” Ali rolled her eyes and side smiled satisfied and Ashlyn nodded.

“Are you guys going to get the other’s last name?” Alex asked. Ashlyn and Ali looked at each other for one second.

“Ashlyn Krieger sounds like hell honey” Ashlyn murmured “but if you really, really want to, I’ll change mine. I’ll get used to it.”

“Actually…” Ali bit her lip “since I’ve always been dreaming about my wedding and I used to think I’d marry a man and all would be traditionally and all… I had already made my mind on getting your last name. Alexandra Harris sounds kind of cool, and there are enough Krieger’s in the world, even more now that my brother and his man are trying to adopt and all.” Ashlyn’s jaw dropped.

“The princess doesn’t want to keep her last name?” Ashlyn joked. Ali put a fake face of being upset and slapped her on the arm playfully. Ashlyn chuckled “I was joking, it’ll be my honor to rub my last name on you.” Ashlyn hugged her.

“Your cell is vibrating against my leg” Ali commented.

“Oh, yeah.” Ashlyn took it “It’s my brother… hey Chris, do you mind if… what’s wrong?” Ashlyn suddenly looked very serious. She put a hand on the microphone of the phone and looked at Ali “He’s hysterically crying Ali. What do I do?” Ali raised her eyebrows surprised.

“I don’t know, try see if you can calm him down…”

“Yeah, when he’s calmed he can tell you what’s wrong.” Whitney looked worried. She knew Chris and considered him family.

“Chris, sweetie” Ashlyn spoke onto the phone. She would’ve gotten up and somewhere else, but she felt she should be sitting for that and didn’t want to distract herself moving somewhere else “calm down okay?” Ashlyn spoke sweetly and lovingly to her brother, who kept sobbing “it’s all going to be fine. I’m here, if you can tell me what’s wrong, I promise I’ll help. We can find a solution for any problem you’ve got, I’m here for you, but please calm down and talk to me because I’m going insane here.” Her brother finally started speaking “Okay… okay… Chris, okay, call an ambulance okay? I’m going to pack everything and drive there right away right now, but you need to call an ambulance and tell them what happened and have her in the hospital. You’ve done nothing wrong, this is not your fault. Sh… hey… Chris, it will be alright no matter what. Is okay to freak out, but you need to pull yourself together because right now, you’re all she’s got. I’m more than an hour away so I trust you for this, I know you can do this. Call an ambulance, and call mom and dad, ask for their help okay? I’m on my way. I’ll be right there in an hour and a half, I swear. Okay, I love you bro, I love you. See you in a bit.” She hung up and looked at Ali, who looked scared.

“Chris says my grandma wasn’t taking the phone and he went to visit her and found her lying on the floor, she isn’t moving and he panicked. I have to go right away, I think she’s dead and my brother’s really freaking out. I need to take care of them.”

“Yeah, absolutely!” Ali got up with Ashlyn “I’ll go too, we should be there…”

“No, Ali you stay here and take care of your guests. You have an important match incoming, I’ll be fine.” Ashlyn assured her putting her hands on her shoulders “I have a bag packed for emergencies, it’s fine.”

“But you aren’t cleared to drive…” Ali went to argue.

“Ali, there’s no time for arguing. I need to go, I feel pretty fine to drive now and you have things here, our family will understand. Me driving there is the fastest option, it’s just one hour and a half. It’s going to be fine okay? I’ll be alright, we all will be. Is probably nothing anyway.”

“Okay” Ali nodded and kissed her “call me when you know something and take it easy okay?”

“Yeah, let us know whatever happens” Alex said giving her a quick hug.

“Stay strong Harris, call us if you need reinforcements” Megan hugged her friend too.

“Thank you guys. Call you when I know something. Ali please, call my parents and update them in case my brother hasn’t, just make sure they’re on the way. Love you girls!” That said, Ashlyn ran upstairs to get her back and shortly after they heard the door and the car.

Ali took her cell phone.

“Mike, has Chris called you? He just called Ash, there’s something wrong with grandma, Ashlyn just left there. Seems like Chris is panicking, Ash wants you and Tammye there. Okay, thank you. No, I know nothing else but Ash will call when she knows something, she told Chris to call you guys but I guess he’s really not okay. Bye, love you.” Ali shook her head putting the phone away.

“Is Chris okay?” Sidney asked.

“I think Ashlyn’s afraid he’ll start drugging himself up in the time the family takes to get there. But Tammye is in Cocoa Beach and Mike in Satellite, so they should be there right away. Ashlyn can’t take care of him and grandma all by herself, at least not if something’s really wrong with grandma” Ali explained.

“Shit, what a bad timing” Tobin shook her head “Is Ashlyn going to be fine driving there?”

“I have no idea, but I saw her make quite good stops with Chris Gorres this morning, so I’m gonna cross fingers and hope she can’t get into an accident in a drive that’s at most an hour and a half and that she’s done a hundred times and knows very well.” Ali answered “Now, is just time to wait.”


	5. Lessons come with bruises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The couple struggle with unfortunate events but get back on their feet and are honoured for their careers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kudos!! I'd love to see more comments to see what you guys think ;D I hope you're liking this. If you have any suggestion, anything you'd love to see happen like small prompts or some, I'd be happy to try to squeeze them into the story.

It took an hour fifteen for a text of Ashlyn to come say she was safe in Satellite and three hours for a call to come from her saying they were going to do a heart surgery on her grandmother in the morning, that Chris was okay and they were going to sleep. Ali would’ve driven there in the morning, but the match was too close. Ashlyn called again when the match came to wish her good luck and say all was fine in Satellite -Ali even got to talk with her grandmother a little bit- and Ali was calmer by then.

However, the night after the match, Ali was sitting on the sofa watching TV when Ashlyn called.

“Hi Captain Harris!” Ali saluted cheerful “We won!”

“Hi, that’s so good baby! Congrats!” Ashlyn seemed truly happy “How are things there, all good?”

“Yeah, all good, I’m okay. You’re good? Is your head hurting?”

“My head’s fine. Listen Ali… there was an after surgery complication. My grandma’s dead.” Ali felt like a stone fall in her belly. Ashlyn’s grandfather had died a few months back and that had already been a big hit, but the Olympics had kept her entertained. Now it was really the worst possible time for her grandma to die too.

“I’m driving there, give me a couple hours and I’ll be holding you. Text me your location.” Ali said.

“Okay, thank you Alex.”

“I love you so much Ash. I love you all, tell them.”

Ali arrived to the funeral house where Ashlyn was spending the night to make her grandmother company, and entered a small room that had a couple sofas in front of a glass that had an opened coffin in the other side. Ashlyn was sitting on the sofa looking at her grandmother and got up when she heard Ali, going to hug her.

“Hey” Ali hugged her tightly “I’m so sorry honey… did she suffer?”

“No, she was just sleeping.” Ashlyn answered letting herself fall on Ali’s arms “Thank you for being here.”

“Is fine, I’m your girl.” Ali pressed her lips against Ashlyn’s neck, running her fingers through her hair “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Ashlyn pulled away. Aside from the pain in her eyes, Ali saw no sign of suffering, more exhaustion. They walked to the glass and stood there looking at grandma, who looked asleep. Ali took Ashlyn’s hand between her own, rubbing the silver ring Ali had gifted her as a compromise ring a few days back.

“I’m here okay? Don’t let it all eat you inside, you don’t have to hide your demons from me.” Ashlyn stared at Ali for a moment and smiled a little.

“Thank you. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Ashlyn fell asleep on Ali’s lap and Ali took little naps during the night, mostly wanting to be alert for anything. In the morning, they confronted together a very sad funeral and Ali did her best to help Ashlyn in her duty of keeping her family up. Ashlyn had gotten used to be the one looking out for everybody when her parents and brother struggled with poverty and addiction and now even if it wasn’t like that anymore she had that paper so inked in her skin it was impossible not to act like it. They stayed there for a whole week, Ali deciding to miss one game in order to be there,

One night Ali felt Ashlyn get out of bed and she woke up.

“Ash?” Ali asked into the dark room. Not receiving an answer she turned the light on and saw Ashlyn was standing supporting on a wall, struggling with her breathing and with a hand on her chest and the eyes closed, tears falling down her face “Ash” Ali jumped from the bed and reached her “what’s wrong?”

“I can’t…” Ashlyn sobbed out palming her chest.

“Is your chest hurting?” Ashlyn nodded, more tears falling “Can you breathe?” Ashlyn shook her head “Okay, I’ll be right back. Sit on the bed with the head down between your legs okay?”

Ali ran downstairs and grabbed one of the paper bags they often had for bread, using it to help Ashlyn breathe back upstairs, sitting next to her.

“I think is just anxiety honey” Ali commented as Ashlyn breathed into the bag, and saw Ashlyn nod in confirmation. Ali kissed her shoulder and kept a hand rubbing circles up and down her back, soothingly “deep breaths, you’ll feel better soon… there you go, in and out… tell you what I’m gonna get a warm bath ready for you with that relax soap we’ve got okay?”

A while later Ali was into the bathtub with Ashlyn between her legs, her head back against Ali’s shoulder, still breathing deeply. Ali looked down at her, rubbing up and down her ribcage and kissing her forehead.

“I’m so fucking angry” Ashlyn blurted out suddenly “this isn’t fucking fair Ali. She was amazing. She was a fucking saint of a woman, she wasn’t that old yet. She was supposed to be at our wedding, with grandpa, both of them together. I died and came back, hasn’t this family suffered enough? When things are finally going well this shit world had to fuck everything up…” She sighed, pressing her forehead against Ali’s neck “I’m tired. It hurts and I should be super happy celebrating everything that’s happening with you and not burying family member after family member and dealing with dying myself and all this shit. I don’t want to have to be strong anymore Ali. I want things to be easy.”

“Tell you what… what if you try to enjoy the bath and relax and then I’ll tuck you back into bed and you can snuggle between my arms? I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but for tonight, you can lie down and I’ll get my arms around you and keep you safe tonight. Tomorrow we’ll get out of bed together and confront everything together.”

For a couple days, Ashlyn seemed stronger than ever, kicking asses at the gym and for what Chris Gorres was saying she had improved a lot and seemed pretty recovered from the head trauma. Then one afternoon Ali came home from training and found Ashlyn sitting on the living room, a bottle of whiskey almost empty in her hand and two empty ones sitting next to her, her eyes lost looking at the space. Ali’s eyes widened as she ran to Ash and fell on her knees next to her.

“Did you drink all of that all by yourself?”

“Yes.” Ashlyn looked at her “Please don’t judge me” suddenly she was crying “please don’t leave me Ali… it was too much, I needed to stop thinking… it was too much… please don’t leave me!” Ashlyn sobbed out. Ali leant to remove the bottle from her hand and hugged her. She let Ashlyn cry for a good while until she calmed down.

“Ash, I’m not going to leave you but I need to know what’s happening.” Ali said then, pulling apart to look at Ashlyn properly “You have to talk to me.”

“I feel miserable Ali. It’s just this weight in my chest and this fear that everyone’s going to leave me, I’m telling you Ali Death is mad I escaped it and now it’s taking everyone I love one by one and there’s nothing I can do.” Ali frowned cleaning her tears off her cheeks with her thumbs.

“Baby that’s not true. Your grandmother was an old woman. Yes, maybe not that old, but people of all ages die daily, there’s nothing you could’ve done to help. Death isn’t mad you escaped it, you did because it wasn’t your time and Death knows it. If you were supposed to be dead, you would be.” Ashlyn’s face reflected so much pain and Ali knew she was dying inside. That it was all becoming dark and scary for her and that she had to be the light to pull from her and show her the way out of there “Come, we’re going to the beach.”

The couple walked around the beach holding hands, just enjoying the fresh air against their skin. At one point, the sky turned orange and they turned to look at the end of the world, where the sun was going to sleep.

“See?” Ali hugged Ashlyn from behind “Every time I see the twilight I remember how it was just the same when you made me the happiest woman on Earth.” Ashlyn smiled softly at her.

“I don’t want to lose you.” Ashlyn whispered.

“You won’t.” Ali tiptoed and kissed her, their tongues dancing together for a while “Come, let’s sit.” Ali said when the kiss stopped. She sat on the sand and Ashlyn lied on it with her head on Ali’s lap as Ali ran her fingers through Ashlyn’s hair “Let’s distract you with something, let’s talk about the wedding.”

“Okay… I want it to be a celebration Ali. Of us, our journey, of love, of all the good things we believe in.” Ali smiled down at her and nodded “So let’s do it on a large scale but keep it humble, okay?”

“Agreed” Ali leant and pressed a kiss against her forehead “at the end is going to be perfect either way because we’ll be married, and that’s the important thing.”

“Yes” Ashlyn chuckled raising a hand to play with Ali’s dark, long locks of hair “we can do it in the woods with benches that have pretty cushions on them so they’re comfortable.”

“That sounds reasonable” Ali smiled “and I want an arch with flowers and candles where we say I do. And I want a purple wedding, but we can combine it with shades of blue, gray and white so it’s more your style.”

“Thank you” Ashlyn chuckled, already feeling more relaxed “and I want to dance a lot at our wedding, so dance lessons are definitely in order.”

“Oh definitely, I want my classy slow first dance all intimate and beautiful.” Ali had this daydream face that Ashlyn was loving.

“Okay you get that if after we also get very rocky music like rap and stuff.” Ashlyn said getting excited. Ali rolled her eyes and nodded.

“Sure thing you dork.”

“Alex?” Ali saw Ashlyn looked serious “I promise you I’m going to do whatever it takes to get out of this shit hole I’ve fallen in. I’ll join you outside of it.”

“No” Ali shook her head “you’re not going to fight alone to join me later. I’m grabbing your hand and I’m pulling you out of there, and we’ll get you out together.” With that simplicity, Ashlyn smiled. And for the first time in far too long, it was genuine and pure.

Ashlyn wasn’t cleared to go back to soccer until the last month of the NWSL and then she trained frenetically to be able to star in all matches. Ali had been the captain in her absence but she was ready to take her armband back. With that in mind, Ali and her started going to train the two alone in their free time too. That was how Ashlyn got to the first time since the concussion standing by a goal in a real field and not in the gym where she trained with Chris Gorres. She jogged to the goal with Ali and suddenly stopped, staring at the ground next to the left goal post.

“All good?” Ali asked.

“This is where I got knocked out” Ashlyn said suddenly.

“What? No, that stadium is back in Japan. You’ll never step on it again baby.” Ali said kindly, rubbing her back.

“I know is not the same stadium, but the effect is… I think is the same… sort of? All professional soccer pitches are pretty much the same, at least the goal part… I jumped here…” Ashlyn looked back at the opposite goal and then back at the post equivalent to the one she had crashed with in Tokyo “I must have hit what, this high?” She touched the upper part of the post. Ali nodded.

“Yeah, you jumped high.”

“And I got knocked out.” Ashlyn nodded for herself “Ali… Ali I’m a bit terrified right now.” Ali sighed and hugged Ashlyn.

“Is going to be alright honey. You’ve got your head protector now” Ali touched the black band that surrounded Ashlyn’s cranium “you’ll be fine. Just play safe, no win is more important than your health.”

“Okay” Ashlyn nodded.

“You can do this.” Ali reassured her pulling apart “You’ll be afraid for the first five minutes and then you’ll forget about it.”

With that in mind and Ali’s constant reassurance, they started playing. At the beginning Ashlyn was distracted looking at the left post constantly and trying not to get close to it, product of PTSD, but after a few minutes she was so distracted and into the game, she wouldn’t even realize of it. Soon, they were both laughing and having fun with the game they both loved. At one point, Ali jumped to hit with her head the ball and instead of going for the ball Ashlyn tackled her down laughing and they fell to the grass, laughing and tickling each other. Ashlyn, being on top, looked down on Ali and grinned.

“I love you Alexandra” Ashlyn whispered.

“I love you more.” Ali sentenced, her pupils dilating as she put her hands on Ashlyn’s face and pulled her down for a long, lingering kiss.

It wasn’t long until Ali’s last match, at the NWSL finals against Chicago Red Stars. They were in the tunnel waiting for the game to start, a game that had brought their whole families there, and Ashlyn proceed to put the captain’s armband on Ali’s arm. Both girls had been emotional all day.

“Nervous?” Ashlyn smiled sympathetically at her while adjusting the armband.

“Yeah” Ali nodded “I really want to enjoy it, is the end. It’s been twenty nine years… it’s just hard.”

“I’m here okay? Win or lose, it’s a win in the end… plus… this doesn’t mean you’re over with soccer, just that you’re joining the babies’ league.” Ashlyn chuckled hugging her tightly. They shared a last peck on the lips before getting on the pitch.

There was Ali’s family with flowers and all, and Ali hugged them as it was announced in the stadium that it was Ali’s last game ever. Ashlyn gave her a quick kiss together with another bouquet of flowers, these from the Orlando Pride, and after Coach Sermanni said a few words, he handed Ashlyn the microphone, as captain.

“Today we say goodbye from soccer to our right back, to the woman we owe so much to, as a club” Ashlyn said, as the stadium roared “It doesn’t matter if we win or if we lose, today we have to play nice and give our best, as opposite team and as same team, because we have to give Alex the farewell she deserves, which means give her a good match she can enjoy and carry with her forever. Alex, I know it’s been 29 years full of very hard times. ACLs, concussions, adversity and victory, and I’ve seen you fight for your spot both here and with the National time after time. I’m so proud of you and all you’ve achieved, I think we all are. From now on you’ll be one more spectator and one player more in games with our friends, kids, family, and you’ll still be the best. To me, you’re always going to be the best. So congrats on your amazing career and I hope you have the great match you deserve. This is for you.” Ali smiled and hugged her trying not to cry as the stadium chanted ‘Krieger, Krieger’. She then took the microphone.

“Thank you everyone! This game wouldn’t be the same without all of you cheering for us constantly and keeping our spirits up, and without the amazing teammates that work so hard and make this game all the more enjoyable, so really, thank you to all of you” more applauses and cheering “It’s been twenty nine of the best years of my life and is both sad, terrifying but also exciting to finish it. And to do it here, in Orlando, that has become my home, with my future wife and surrounded by good friends and family. To the veterans I tell you, enjoy it while you’ve got it, squeeze every second and spend as much energy as possible in teaching those who come after you so they have your same determination and love for this game. And to those who are new, or thinking of getting into soccer, or haven’t played that much to be veterans… fight. Fight and dream high, and accomplish it. You’ll lose many times but at the end, and a veteran 11 is telling you fives, at the end, it’s always a win-win. Because this game will teach you about love, hard work, humbleness, strength… it will test you and show you how strong and capable you really are. It will make you want to do your best job and your biggest effort. And the compensation? Apart from enjoying playing and enjoying people roaring your name? You’ll make so many friends forever. This game will give you friends to call family, memories to laugh of even ten years later, love… soccer can be your worst enemy and your best friend but at the end of the day, is just part of you. Is your biggest teacher. Thank you.”


	6. Trouble in paradise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wedding bells and storms ahead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the support! I'm having some very kind words regarding this fic and well, I'd like to hear more opinions so please review.

After the NWSL, the couple focused plainly on the wedding planning and Ashlyn bought her suit for it. They decided they wanted to get married fast during the offseason, which meant planning everything super quickly. Since the NWSL finished in October, they had planned everything as fast as to be able to get married just a few weeks later, in a forest in North America, surrounded by their closest relatives and closest friends, like Ashlyn wanted but without being too picky, accepting around sixty guests in the end. There was a big acclimated lodge with the spaces for dancing, lunch and all, and the ceremony would take place a few minutes by feet away of it, in a forest clearing between tall, tall trees.

“You look amazing” Mike smiled at his daughter, who wore an elegant black suit with a dark blue tie and a dark gray vest. Her short hair had been done by Kyle and was elegantly done. Her makeup was light and had beautiful earrings to finish the touches.

“Thanks dad” Ashlyn smiled and hugged Mike “it means a lot that you’re here.”

“I’m so happy to be here. Ali is a lucky girl, but so are you” Mike kissed her cheek “your grandparents would’ve been so happy for you. They really liked Ali.”

“Yeah.” Ashlyn nodded and smiled as her dad adjusted the purple and white flowers in her lapel.

“You’re going to be an excellent wife Ashlyn. Just because your parents didn’t manage it very good it doesn’t mean you won’t. You know what you need to know and have what it takes to make it good. Plus, you have the recipe in how not to do it.” Ashlyn chuckled.

“Thanks dad… I really needed that.”

“I know.” Mike kissed her on the forehead “Now let’s go get you the girl.”

That’s how Ashlyn found herself grabbing her dad’s arm as they walked between the two groups of their standing up best friends, closest family, most meaningful people, that smiled at them. It was all so beautiful, filled with flowers and looking like a royal wedding but with Ashlyn’s humble touch. Around the altar stood the bridesmaids, Chris’ girlfriend, Whitney, Allie, Tobin and Alex, and the groomsmen, Kyle, Chris, Servando and Jamie Tworkowski. After a few minutes waiting, the music sounded and everyone stood up again. Ashlyn turned around and the sight made her lose her breath.

Ali looked gorgeous and splendid. She looked like a princess. Her smile was even more beaming than ever, which Ashlyn would’ve never imagined possible, her hair was down to one side, cascading over her shoulder, and her dress was exquisite. Ken Krieger stood proudly beside her.

“Oh my God” Ashlyn heard Kyle whisper with a crying voice. She couldn’t keep her eyes off Ali. She felt tears come to her eyes and let them fall freely, putting a hand over her mouth. She breathed deeply to collect herself when Ali was almost there and moved her hands towards her, smiling through the tears. Ali’s grin could’ve lighted the whole world on fire.

They were going to surprise their guests with a very prepared and choreographed first dance that started slowly dancing to Kodaline’s ‘The One’ and then towards the half, it transformed in a much more rhythmic dance with a remix that contained songs like Vance Joy’s ‘Riptide’. Without caring much about forgetting steps or not, Ashlyn and Ali just enjoyed their first dance as Ms. And Ms. Harris thoroughly.

“I love you” Ali whispered against Ashlyn’s ear that night, as they kept dancing slowly, to another.

“I love you, Ms. Harris” Ashlyn smiled down at her, pulling apart and pressing their lips together.

The couple opened their bedroom blindly, busy trying to get the other naked as their tongues battled for dominance over the other’s. They finally managed to open the door and Ashlyn took Ali up bride style and carried her to the bed. She started a trail of kisses down Ali’s face and to her neck, sucking in her pulse point. Ali scratched Ashlyn’s muscular torso as they made love, and soon after, they fell asleep.

In the morning, Ali woke up first, lying over Ashlyn, with her nose nudged against a purple patch on Ashlyn’s neck. Ali pulled herself up a bit and smiled observing Ashlyn sleep ever so calmly after so many weeks of intense struggle. She looked like an angel, her hair freely falling over her forehead and her chest softly rising with her breading. She must’ve felt observed, because she opened her eyes and smiled sleepily at Ali. Ashlyn could’ve died right there, seeing Ali’s incredible smile that reached her eyes and her hair cascading down so beautifully.

“Good morning” Ali smiled caressing her face “how did you sleep?

“Never better” Ashlyn smirked caressing Ali’s face before kissing her.

For Christmas, Ashlyn and Ali decided to spend their first Christmas together with Ashlyn’s family in Satellite Beach. Now, without Ashlyn’s grandparents, it was just Tammye, Chris and Chris’ girlfriend, plus Corey’s parents, his wife, and their sons Jenson and Damian.

“Let me take care of that mom” Ashlyn was helping her mother in the kitchen.

“Thank you honey and could you call your brother and see what’s up? He’s late.” Tammye told her daughter.

“Sure.” Ash smiled at her, but her attention was on Ali playing with the little boys. She couldn’t wait to see her pregnant. They had started the process a long while ago, before the wedding, but so far no results. They were in their fourth try so far. The door rang and Corey got up.

“I’ll go, it must be Chris and Alison.” Alison was Chris’ longtime partner. They had been together for close to five years and were common-law partners, but didn’t want to get married because they both had bad marriage history in their families and didn’t want to jinx their relationship.

Ashlyn and her uncle, Corey’s dad, put the things on the table while Ali and Brittany, Corey’s wife, entertained the infants and Tammye finished up touches in the kitchen with her sister.

“Guys!” Corey called their attention. He was standing by the door of the dining-living room with an arm over Alison, who was in tears with a purple eye. Corey was pale and soon Ashlyn was too. She reached Alison in two long steps and put her hands on her shoulders carefully.

“Al, what happened to you? Where’s my brother?” Ashlyn asked worriedly. Alison started sobbing loudly and supported her forehead on Ashlyn’s shoulder. Ashlyn hugged her briefly before leading her to sit on the sofa, and Brittany handed her a glass of water. Together they helped her to calm down.

“Sweetie you need to tell us what’s happening so we can help you.” Tammye said, sitting next to her and motherly running her fingers through her hair. Alison breathed deeply trying to calm herself down and then suddenly it all made sense to Ashlyn.

“Al, where is my brother?” Ashlyn asked slowly. Ali shook her head.

“He ran away, I have no idea where he is.” Ali said with a broken voice.

“I don’t understand…” Tammye looked confused. Ashlyn breathed deeply before looking at her mother.

“Chris did this mom.” Tammye’s eyes widened. “Al… is he high right now?”

“Yes” Ali nodded “it started with your grandma’s dead. He just crumbled Ash…” Alison gulped down a sob “I tried to help him but he ran out with bad people and he wouldn’t listen to me…”

“I’m going to find him.” Ashlyn stood up.

“He’s dangerous Ash” Ali cried out “he’s very mad and aggressive. He came home all high and I was getting mad at him because he was like that and we were late here… and he got so angry saying I was no one to tell him what to do.”

“It’s okay.” Ashlyn forced a smile and squeezed Alison’s shoulder “Do you need to go to the hospital? You’ve got a nasty eye.”

“No, it’s fine, it was just a punch on the head. I see fine.” Alison assured.

“Good. I’ll be back in a bit.”

“I’m going with you” Corey said. Ali got up too.

“No, I’m going alone. He won’t hurt me Corey, but if he feels trapped it’ll be worse. Better just me, is not the first time.”

Chris had a long history of drugs and alcoholism, but he had been clean for many years, so it was weird to think he had fallen off the wagon so strongly. He had practically crashed against the floor. Ashlyn had just put her jacket on and opened the door, only to find Chris, her big brother, standing there looking broken and resembling a lost puppy.

“Chris” Ashlyn shook her head “what have you done, man?”

“Is Al okay?” he asked with a broken voice. Ashlyn realized he couldn’t even open his eyes fully.

“Of course she’s not okay, you hit her.” Ashlyn said through grilled teeth “What have you taken? Alcohol? Oxy?”

“Crystal.” Chris whispered “And alcohol.” Ashlyn nodded slowly,

“Okay, we have to get that crap off your system, come in.” Ashlyn moved to let her in.

“I want to see her” Chris said entering the house “Al! Alison baby!” he yelled.

“You’re not seeing her!” Ashlyn yelled at him “Fuck off Chris, I want you puking in the bathroom in five man.”

“You’re not the boss of me. Alison!” He had reached the living room before she could reach him “Alison.” Alison and Tammye looked up sadly at him and then Ashlyn took him from the back of his jacket and shoved him against the wall.

“I said no!” Ashlyn yelled at him, putting her hands on his shoulders and keeping his back pressed against the wall. Ashlyn was almost as tall as her brother and with the tattoos looked much fiercer.

“You aren’t my boss!” Chris yelled back, pushing her away. He then went to punch her, but since he was high, she hadn’t even started drinking and she did boxing at the gym, she easily avoided the punch and gave him one in the stomach that made him bend forward. Fortunately Brittany had taken the kids to the garden to play when she heard Chris coming into the house.

“And you aren’t putting a hand on me again in your miserable life, Christopher!” Ashlyn yelled at him grabbing a fistful of the back of his jacket’s neck. She was starting to lose control of her rage and she feared it.

“Sweetheart, let him go!” Tammye got up pulling from her daughter, who got her hands off her brother “You don’t hit your brother, what if the police arrests you? What do you want, lose your career?”

“Sorry” Ashlyn murmured.

“You!” Ali yelled getting up and glaring at Chris, grabbing him from the arm “Upstairs with me, now!”

“What?” Chris looked up, puzzled.

“Ali, you don’t have to get in this…” Ashlyn started, but Ali ignored her and grabbed Chris’ chin aggressively to look at him in the eye.

“We’re family now. Your sister? She doesn’t deserve to have to keep cleaning after your shit, she has her own stuff to deal with. Your mother? She doesn’t deserve to deal with your crap either. No one in your family does. Look at your girlfriend! Look at your family, look at what you’ve done to them! It’s fucking Christmas, who do you think you are? No. I’m not gonna let you hurt my family, I’m not allowing that. I’ll deal with you now.”

Fifteen minutes later and after having thrown all up, Chris sat on the bathroom floor next to Ali, crying silently.

“I’m sorry…” Chris sobbed out.

“I don’t want to hear it” Ali said “is your sister who should be getting those words, not me. You don’t know shit about her don’t you? Her brother and her parents were negligent to her and practically abandoned her to take care of herself all alone when she was just a teenager, because no one could manage to stop doing drugs and sober up for her, pay attention to her, take care of her. Drugs fucked up her teenage years. Her adulthood. And now she was supposed to not have to deal with this anymore, she’s dealt with enough in the past year. So I’m gonna try to help your family enjoy Christmas despite your shit, and since now you’re showered, you’re going to bed. Christmas is canceled for you and be thankful if your family still loves you after this. Tomorrow you’re apologizing to everybody and if you fuck up again I’ll personally become your nightmare.”

Ashlyn turned and tossed in bed that night. Ali hugged her and tried to comfort her, but that didn’t keep nightmares from happening. A few hours later, in the morning, Chris went to the kitchen where everybody was, with the exception of Tammye’s sister’s family, who had gone to their respective homes in Satellite Beach during the night.

“I want to apologize to everyone for my poor and embarrassing behavior.” He said looking down “I’m so sorry, I don’t know why I did it… I just fell off the wagon. But I promise I’m going to get help. Alison, baby…” He looked broken at his girlfriend “I’m… What I’ve done has no forgiveness. I’ll understand if you wanted to leave.”

“I don’t want to leave you” Alison smiled and hugged him “let’s get you some professional help okay? I’ll drive you to the facility.”

“The facility?” Chris looked afraid and then looked up at Ashlyn, who glared at him “Okay… I guess there’s no other option.”

“No, there isn’t.” Tammye walked to her son “Come on, I’ll drive. Let’s get you some help son.”

“Thank you mom…” Chris smiled at her and then looked back at his sister, who was staring at her shoes “Ash? Will you forgive me? Can I count on you?” Ashlyn seemed to think about it for a while and then shook her head.

“You’re not my brother anymore Christopher” Ashlyn looked up at him seriously “I’m about to be a mother, I can’t have an alcoholic drug addict around when my baby arrives. I don’t trust you one bit. You’ve disappointed me so freaking hard.” Chris’ eyes filled with tears “Come back when you’re clean and we’ll see… Ali’s right. I can’t take responsibility for you anymore. I can’t take all of this. Is too much for me. I’m sorry, but I don’t owe you a thing so don’t count on me until you’re fully sober.”

“Ash…” Chris gave a step towards his sister “Come on, don’t be so harsh…” Ali stood close by contemplating the siblings “Come on, we’re siblings… I was suffering so much, I didn’t do this on purpose. I just… it was so much pain…”

“Yeah” Ashlyn nodded “you know what’s harsh Chris? Harsh is being a kid and seeing your parents and your older brother, people who should be taking care of you, too busy fighting, getting drunk and drugged up and destroying any meaning of home, to even realize you’ve got a cold. Harsh is being mostly alone all the time when you’re just a kid. Harsh is seeing everyone who is responsible of you completely leave you all alone. And in those times? I only had grandma and grandpa. And I lost them. They aren’t going to be there anymore to pull me out of my misery, so I have to avoid it at all costs and you bring it. Mom and dad? They got better, they made amends with me, I can trust them. And I really thought I could trust you too, Chris. You don’t know what my life’s been like Chris. Fighting so hard to leave this shithole you bothered nothing to try make a home for your little sister, so I could go to North Carolina, working my ass off with soccer to have a chance for a better life, running away of the path you had set for us! But I did. I made it, Chris. I got several ACLs and concussions while in university without you or mom or dad to help me out, and I did it myself. And now? I’m in the top of the world, I’ve got a wife that could be pregnant any day now, and I’m not gonna let anything harm them and certainly not you, I don’t care that we share parents.”

That said, Ashlyn left upstairs and Ali followed her. They heard the door shortly after. Ashlyn sat on their bed, breathing deeply and focusing her eyes on her shoes. Ali rubbed soothing circles up and down her back.

“Is alright Ash, he’ll be fine and then he’ll come back.” Ali assured her.

“I’m so sorry my family is such a fuck up Ali you deserve…”

“Cut it, baby. I’m okay. It’s fine by me. My family is perfect, and that includes your parents and Chris. It’s alright Ash, he’s a good boy. He’s just struggling.” Ali whispered “Hey look” she opened Ashlyn’s shirt carefully and caressed the name ‘Christopher Ryan Harris’ under Ashlyn’s heart “he’s your brother. You had to be harsh and now that’s going to make him want to recover harder than ever. He’ll come back home one day, soon enough.” Ashlyn nodded slowly.

“Thank you Ali.”

“That’s what best friends are for.” Ali smiled, kissing her.


	7. For a greater good?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unexpected paternal figure comes to aid Ashlyn in her hard work to forgive Chris, while Ali shares exciting news with her family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I really would love to hear your thoughts in this story, so it would be great if you had a moment to review ;D thanks!

Back in Orlando, Ashlyn was reading the newspaper one day sitting on the sofa when her wife came by. It had been a few months since Christmas and Chris had been at the detoxifying center all along, while Ashlyn and Ali enjoyed the little vacation before the preseason started.

“Hi” Ali sang, making Ashlyn chuckle.

“Hi” Ashlyn answered “what’s up, you dork?”

“I’m happy because I haven’t had my period in two months.” Ali said with a grin.

“You haven’t had your period in t…” Ashlyn’s eyed widened and looked at Ali, her jaw falling “…no. Yes. Yes?” Ali grinned showing her teeth and nodded, waving a white stick in the air “Yes?! Yes!” Ashlyn made a celebratory noise and jumped off the sofa, hugging Ali so enthusiastically she lifter her off the ground. Ali laughed as Ashlyn spun them “I can’t believe it!”

“I’m pregnant! We’re expecting!” Ali yelled enthusiastic as Ashlyn set her back on the floor “Oh my God Ashlyn we’re going to have a baby!” Ali rubbed her belly.

“I’m calling the doctor, I want an ultrasound right now.” Ashlyn chuckled grabbing her cell “You sit down and rest, I don’t want anything happening to you.” She added leaving the room. Ali rolled her eyes and chuckled, stroking her belly.

“It’s curious that you haven’t had symptoms so far.” Doctor Kepner was telling them as she took a look at the ultrasound, where there was definitely a baby “Look at that beautiful thing... Alexandra, you’re three months pregnant already, look how big she is!”

“She?” Ashlyn raised her eyebrows.

“Oh, yeah, I’m sorry it just slipped…” the doctor smiled apologetically “You’re having a baby girl.”

“A girl! Eureka!” Ali clapped enthusiastically. She really wanted a little princess whose nails she could paint, and who liked all the girly stuff she liked, including fuchsia. The idea of a girl terrified Ashlyn a little, since she was better with boys, but she smiled down at Ali and the belly anyway. She thought it would be a nice way to get experience with girls, and if she knew how to take care of her Queen, she sure would know what to do with their princess.

“That’s so good!” Ashlyn kissed Ali’s forehead and looked at the doctor “Then it’s all good? She’s fine? Is it okay even though Ali’s had no symptoms so far?”

“Yeah, there’s nothing to worry about.” The doctor assured nodding “This little girl looks healthy, has ten toes and ten fingers, two eyes, a nose, her head looks a good size, nothing looks weird or out of the ordinary. And she’s in a very good position to avoid getting trapped in the umbilical cord.”

“Awesome.” Ashlyn grinned at the picture “She’s so pretty, she so has my DNI.”

“I agree” Ali smiled “there you go, warrior princess.” Ali whispered stroking her belly.

They had followed a procedure that only had a few years of age in which they used Ashlyn’s ovules and an anonymous donor’s sperm to conceive a baby carried by Ali, so the baby was biologically of the two. They had done this because Ali could not wait to see tiny Ashlyn’s around the house and because she wanted to make sure Ashlyn felt part of the process, since she knew Ashlyn was dealing with depression big time these days and working so hard she wasn’t really there. But truly, Ali couldn’t wait to see mini Ashlyn.

A few weeks later, the National Team had a friendly against Germany in Washington and the Harris’ traveled there because they were to be honored at the match.

“She’s kicking like the warrior she is.” Ali whispered in the plane, half asleep against Ashlyn’s shoulder. Ashlyn smiled down at her and moved a hand to Ali’s belly, that was now somewhat swollen. The doctor had explained them athletes had smaller pregnant bellies for the usual, so that it was normal that hers wasn’t very big despite being almost four months in. She stroked the skin under her shirt softly and felt the kicking against her hand before it relaxed.

“Go to sleep little munchkin, mama needs to sleep a bit.” Ashlyn whispered affectionately.

“She must be excited.” Ali smiled against Ashlyn’s shoulder “Ash, we should probably be thinking names already don’t you think?”

“Sure.” Ashlyn nodded “I don’t want anything too feminine, like Michelle. Not in hell. I’d put her Alexandra if yours wasn’t that already… I don’t want two princesses Alexandras in my house, I might die.” Ashlyn joked, making Ali laugh.

“I don’t know why, but I’ve always loved the name Sophie.”

“Sophie?” Ashlyn thought about it for a while “Sounds…”

“Anything but badass, I know. It’s not as badass as Alexandra Blaire” Alex winked and they laughed together “but I think it’s adorable and also sounds smart-ass. Plus, is has Harris as a last name for badass support.”

“It’s true, I maybe would’ve preferred it to be more badass” Ashlyn shrugged “but I can see it, our little Sophie Harris. Plus, my name isn’t badass at all. Maybe we could write down three or five name combinations and when we see her, we chose one.”

“But then, as smart as that is, we would still be naming her anything but her name until she’s born…” Ali pouted and Ashlyn smiled caressing her chin.

“We do have a name for her in the meantime.” Ashlyn said, making Ali frown in confusion. Ashlyn smirked with superiority and said “Princess Harris.” Ali slapped her arm and laughed strongly, her sleepiness gone.

“Shut up!”

Soon enough they arrived to Washington, where Ken Krieger picked them up.

“Hello family, welcome!” Ken hugged her daughters and patted Ali’s belly “How has my favorite granddaughter behaved during her first flight?”

“She’s been a sweetheart, like usual” Ali smiled proudly “Do we have time for a quick nap before the match?”

“Yes, exactly three hours. Take a nap, change, there’s time for everything” Ken said helping Ashlyn with the bags -they were adamant in not letting Ali carry anything while she was pregnant, of what Ali didn’t usually mind because it made her feel like royalty- and walking outside of the airport with them.

“Are you sure you know your daughter Ken?” Ashlyn chuckled amused looking at him.

“Why?” Ken chuckled curious.

“Well, she might as well just use the three hours to get ready and still not have enough time.” Ashlyn commented, making both Krieger’s laugh.

“Sleep well” a while later they were at Ken’s beach house and Ali had gone straight to take a nap. Ashlyn tucked her in and turned the lights off before exiting the bedroom they used to use at Ken’s house, that Ken shared with his second wife, Vicky, and Vicky’s sons, Cody and Tanner, although they were both off to university in that moment.

“All good?” Vicky smiled at Ashlyn as the soccer player joined her in laws in the living room “Don’t you take a nap too?”

“Yeah” Ashlyn nodded with a little smile “but no, I’m too excited. Where’s Kyle, isn’t he coming?”

“He, Deb and Mike will get here in about an hour from Miami, we’ll join them at the stadium later.” Kyle explained, offering Ashlyn a glass of wine that she gladly accepted.

“Nice” Ashlyn nodded “hopefully the Queen won’t sleep through our ceremony.”

“Is she sleeping properly?” Ken asked worried.

“Oh, yeah” Ashlyn nodded “tons. Doctor said it’s normal because of the body and hormones changing and all. She just might haven’t slept much tonight because we were so excited and then the plane left quite early.”

“Oh, that’s good. Four months right?” Vicky asked. Ashlyn nodded enthusiastically.

“Almost!” Ashlyn side smiled “First trimester passed by so unnoticed, we thought it had failed again for a moment there.”

“Aw, another girl in the family.” Ken nodded satisfied “Kyle has already told a good bunch of people, he’s enthusiastic, so if I were you I’d tell the team rather sooner than later before he blows the news. He tries to keep it together, but he’s just very happy.”

“Yeah, that’s great though” Ashlyn shrugged and smiled happy to hear her brother in law was so happy about it, as if the scream he made when they told him on the phone wasn’t clue enough “we’re actually going to say it today at the ceremony, before anyone starts making weird rumors or saying she got knocked with some dude. But we want to keep our princess’ life somewhat private, without constantly posting pictures of her or videos, unless she’s barely seen.”

“That’s good, it must be weird to become a teenager and realize your parents have been putting pictures online of you all your life without your knowledge.” Vicky commented “And are you taking care of yourself sweetie? With paying attention at the girls you can’t forget yourself uh?” She added running her fingers through Ashlyn’s hair.

“Thanks Vicky, I’m fine though” Ashlyn assured her “just happy things are looking up.”

“And your brother, is he still in the facility?” Ken asked.

“Yeah” Ashlyn shrugged “he’ll be there for as long as it takes.”

“Have you tried to fix things with him?” Ken asked looking concerned. He knew how close Ashlyn and Chris had been.

“I don’t want a word with him” Ashlyn said” I just don’t trust him around Ali and our little bean. If I can’t trust him to take care of himself and of the woman he supposedly is in love with, how am I going to trust he won’t hurt any of us?” Ashlyn asked saddening. Ken clicked his tongue and leant forward in his armchair to be closer to Ashlyn, who was next to him.

“You can, because he’s family. He’s your brother Ashlyn, and you two have always had a wonderful relationship, just like Ali and Kyle. You can never know for sure he’ll never fall again, but with not letting fear win from time to time, you can believe in him because you are his sister and you’ve always believed in him no matter what, just like he does with you.”

Ashlyn sighed and bit her lip looking down.

“You’re right Ken… is just… now there’s Ali and a baby in the way and I don’t want them caught in the crossfire. It’s so exhausting to be always forgiving and be always passing a blind eye, you know? And now that I’m risking having a dangerous person around my baby girl and the woman I love? Is terrifying. I just want to eliminate all the risks no matter who they are.”

“Ashlyn, I know it’s hard, but a courageous person with a big heart is capable of that, you are. You’ve got what it takes. And you can never protect them for all evils, I know it’s scary and at first, with a baby, you won’t want to let anything near her, not even spiders. But then one day you have to understand it’s not good to overprotect and is useless too, since they’ll always find the way to get hurt so you better just teach them to be brave and strong to pull through. And knowing that’s going to happen no matter what only leaves you with one question; do you want to teach your daughter to forgive and love unconditionally at least her family, so she doesn’t have to grow up carrying the hate, fear and resentment you had to carry for so long? Or do you want to teach your daughter that is okay to let fear of what might happen prevent you from getting to know good people, have great experiences and live, apart from letting it ruin good chances with family?”

Ashlyn looked at him attentively and for one moment she thought he was the smartest guy in the world.

“You’re right, thanks Ken… you’ve given me a lot to think about.” Ken smiled and nodded.

“That’s what family is for Ash. Plus… you know judging is never good and in your heart, you’re prejudging your brother based on his past… people change. Look at Kyle.”

“Yeah” Ashlyn nodded “my grandmother taught both of us better. She believed and she would’ve wanted me to have some hope in him.”

“Exactly.” Ken nodded.

“See Ken darling? That woman is still alive in her granddaughter.” Vicky commented looking proudly at Ashlyn, who chuckled.

Seeing that Ali was in for a long nap and not feeling like napping herself, Ashlyn went to the beach and found the best quality video online of the day the suffered the concussion. It was heart-wrecking for her and her eyes widened as her heart went up to her throat seeing the video, hearing Ali’s hair-raising scream when Ashlyn went down and her head bounced against the grass. Ashlyn felt her own breath stop seeing the doctors rip her jersey off and try to bring her back from the death with so much urgency. She truly understood what her teammates had gone through now. What Ali had gone through. And she had never felt more gratified for that second chance.

She took a few minutes to collect herself and calm down and silently sneaked into Ali’s room, where the brunette had formed a ball under the covers, since it was winter, and slept peacefully. Ashlyn smiled seeing her better half sleep and silently took a picture of her with her cell phone and posted it in Instagram ‘ _Having so many reasons to be thankful for today, but majorly thankful for this one. My queen. So glad I got a second chance to live and this second life I’m spending it with you from beginning to the end._ ’


	8. Nothing is ever that simple

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The couple receives honors for their great careers. On another side, important revelations are made in the Harris' family that will test their relationships.

When they finally made it to the match, Ali felt much more rested. They all dressed elegantly enough and met with Kyle, Deb, Mike (Deb’s husband) and Ashlyn’s parents, who had arrived an hour earlier, at the stadium. Chris’ absence was obvious and it pained Ashlyn’s heart, but she didn’t want anyone to know about her brother. Since it was so uncommon for these ceremonies to have two people -they were individual almost always- they decided to give a good amount of time to it, because the couple deserved it, and not rush things. Before the match Ashlyn and Ali went to the locker run and made sure to hug their teammates and have a good chat before they went outside.

The two teams were lined up on the field when the commentator’s voice echoed in the stadium.

“And now ladies and gentleman, let’s welcome US Women’s National Team ex defender and ex goalkeeper, Ali Krieger and Ashlyn Harris, for a little recognition for their outstanding careers!”

Ali and Ashlyn entered the pitch embraced by the cheers and ovations of everyone as the pitch stood up. Ali was wearing a pretty dress with a long jacket and Ashlyn was wearing a simple suit, and both grinned from ear to ear. Two players of the USWNT offered them flowers as they posed for a picture next to their framed pictures. Some important people of the USWNT said a few nice words and they put a couple videos, one made for each, that got them tearing up, as a compilation of their careers. After that, Ali was given a microphone to say a few words to an expectant public.

“Thank you everyone, this means a lot!” Ali said “Wow, it’s hard to believe so much has been done and we’ve gotten so far in this team. Playing for America, representing this beautiful country, has been one of my greatest honors and I couldn’t have done it without you. I’ve accomplished all my dreams” Ashlyn looked proudly at her wife “and now is time to set a few new ones, and I’m so lucky I’ve had all of you support me as I decided to completely end my soccer career last year. Now that it’s over I’m proud to say it was worth it. Every drop of sweat, every pain, every tear, it was all worth it because many dreams came true and brought so much happiness, which is why none of you should ever stop working for the things you dream of. Ashlyn and I had a big talk about this recently and we wanted to share some good news with you all, even though you’ve gotten used to us being pretty private all our lives, but something great is going on, apart from our marriage” some giggles here and there “and it wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t because we had a lot of people standing for us, believing in us, and supporting us. People like you. So it’s a pleasure to announce that now you can start dreaming with having another Harris running around here in sixteen years or so because I’m pregnant!” The stadium burst into cheers and applauses and the team gave their best poker faces -as the couple had wanted to surprise them- and screamed ‘What?’ to the couple, making Ali laugh and hand Ashlyn the microphone as she laughed.

“My evil wife drops the bomb and leaves me to handle it.” Ashlyn joked into the microphone “Yeah, we’re expecting a little one. And you know, I can’t even express the gratitude I feel coming here now, to an stadium in DC, which is like my second home, where I have so many amazing memories, after not even a year ago I almost didn’t make it playing with these amazing gals.” Ashlyn smiled at the team “I’m proud. I’m so proud of all we’ve achieved. Not so much as me alone, but everyone. Women’s rights. Equality. Equal play equal pay, and God, I hope my little baby keeps fighting for those great things because all was so worth fighting for, as my wife said so well. But you know what I carry the most with me, after so many years, and keep valuing so much when I play for the Pride? The fantastic memories.” There were cheers and Ali looked proudly at her wife “Soccer has given me amazing, unforgettable memories, incredible friends to call family, and something I realized when we got told Ali was pregnant and I was thinking who was to be called, is that there was so much people to call and just counting soccer family. Mostly this national team.” More applause “This team has been family, friends, support… I’ve spent the most time with these girls. I’ve seen their kids go around the hotels and our trainings and played with them after games so many times and a part of me wishes my kid could have the same experience those kids have, but I know things happen the way they happen because it’s the best option in the moment. And I’ve got to thank you majorly, for the memories. For all those stories I’ll tell proudly and excitedly our baby about. And I will tell this baby” she pointed to Ali’s belly and her voice broke slightly as she got emotional “that is the kid of two women who dreamt big and accomplished big because they had a Tobin, an Abby, a Heather, an Allie, a Christen, a Crystal, a Whitney, a Hope, an Alyssa, a Sydney, a Christen, a Megan, a Sermanni, an Alex, and so, so many others, you know them, so let’s give our best today to the US Women’s National Soccer Team!”

A few hours later, the family was back at Ken’s house. Ken and Debbie, despite their failed marriage, were close friends and also got pretty along with each other’s respective new husband and wife. Debbie’s husband Mike -shared name with Ashlyn’s dad- worked in Miami, so the couple lived there while Ken and Debbie lived in Washington and Kyle and his boyfriend Brian lived in New York City, although he had been in Miami visiting the family for a while, Brian staying in New York due to work. Ashlyn’s parents, divorced and single, also got very well with Ali’s family. Since they all got very along, Ken and Vicky had prepared dinner at their house with views to the beach and they were also having the guest appearance of some members of the USWNT, that were available.

“Wow, such good waves…” Ashlyn murmured looking at the waves through the window of the living room with desire in her voice.

“Don’t even think about it Harris, it’s too cold outside.” Ali admonished Ashlyn just by seeing Ashlyn’s wide eyes reflected on the glass.

“I know but…” Ashlyn gave Ali the ‘wow’ face, turning to look at her “you gotta admit they sure make one dream. We don’t see those in Orlando since a week now.”

“Try luck in Cocoa Beach, they’re good there” Tammye smiled at her daughter. She lived in Cocoa Beach, where Ashlyn had been born, even if Ashlyn had been raised in Satellite Beach.

“Great” Ashlyn chuckled satisfied.

“Guys this girl is just so cute” the girls of the team were babbling over the ultrasound’s pictures.

“Look at those cheekbones, just like her momma” Sydney whispered.

“She’s gonna be a mini Ashlyn and I’m going to be the biggest fan girl uncle ever.” Kyle chuckled at the picture he could never see too much. That gave Ashlyn a knot in her belly, to see Kyle so enthusiastic about it when her own brother couldn’t even manage to stay sober. She hated the idea of Kyle being the only big uncle, the only one fangirling. Her girl deserved both and Chris deserved the chance.

“We should tell Chris soon.” Ali said looking at Ashlyn as if she knew what her wife was thinking. Ashlyn shook her head.

“Not yet, he has to deserve it first Ali.” Ashlyn said firmly.

“What’s up with Chris?” Whitney looked up at Ashlyn, lost.

“He’s been at a detoxifying faculty for near two months.” Ashlyn blurted out “He came to Christmas wasted and gave his girl a purple eye.” The girls stopped looking at the ultrasound picture and looked at the couple with wide eyes.

“Chris did what?” Whitney was in disbelief. Ashlyn nodded and shrugged.

“He doesn’t know Ali’s pregnant because we didn’t know then either” Ashlyn cleared out “so until he proves he can be a decent uncle for his only niece, I’m not bothering to even look at him.”

“Oh Ash…” Alex looked sadly at her friend “don’t you think that’s a bit rough?”

“Rough? What he has done is rough. I should’ve beaten that guy up so he learnt the lesson, and I would’ve if I wasn’t a decent person.”

“Don’t say that, he’s your brother…” Mike admonished.

“Yeah, he’s been the best one hasn’t he?” Ashlyn shook her head “Come on, he doesn’t deserve respect.”

“He does honey, and you had your right to be mad but come on, he only fell off the wagon once, he’s gonna be fine.” Tammye said demanding.

“Fuck mom, of course you don’t see it!” Ashlyn was starting to get pissed “That guy is almost forty, and I’m still having to look after him! Who has to answer for this? Not you, not dad, but me, the little sister. And I am so fucking sick of it.”

“Ashlyn” Ali gave her a warning tone and Ashlyn nodded and breathed deeply to calm down.

“You don’t have to look after him Ashlyn” Tammye said calmly “it’s just a one-time thing and it’s been years since the last time, I’m sure it won’t happen again. I don’t see why you attack him instead of showing the same compassion you show for others.”

“Mom there’s a tiny difference between the fans I help and my brother and is that they aren’t related to me and therefore, my daughter isn’t going to have them close. I have to trust my brother like I trust Kyle, to love and protect our child and help us educate her, and my brother? I honestly don’t want him to teach her about drugs.”

“Enough is enough Ashlyn” Mike finally got firm and Ashlyn glared at her “if you can’t say a single nice thing about a man that has always been as good as he could to you, then don’t even mention him because you’re talking about our child here.” No one had ever seen private person Ashlyn even argue with her family, let alone had her dad shut her up. Ashlyn nodded and stared at her feet, embarrassed. Ali frowned at the out of ordinary scenery and exchanged worried looks with her teammates, but her brother had already caught up faster than anyone.

“Ashlyn knows the druggies Chris gets together with” Kyle said suddenly staring at Ashlyn “so she knows they’ll find Chris again and he won’t be a safe company for the baby.”

“What?” Ali looked at Ashlyn “Is that true Ashlyn?” Ashlyn changed the weight from one foot to another and looked at Ali giving a little nod.

“What? Why didn’t you say something? We should be calling the police.” Mike said firmly “They’re drug addicts, if they get arrested Chris won’t have anyone to pull him to the dark side again.”

“You can’t call the police.” Ashlyn said with a low voice.

“Girl you can’t protect them…” Sidney started.

“I’m not protecting them, I’m protecting my family.” Ashlyn answered “Chris and I grew up with them, they’re Satellite’s High School alumni. Just two or three people, nothing big like a gang or something… but they are dangerous people and we all know each other well. If I call the police they’ll know.”

“Have they sold to you?” Tammye asked.

“What? No! I’ve never… no” Ashlyn frowned and hugged herself “no, they only try to tempt people if you say no they leave you alone. But Chris was a good client they don’t want to lose so when they saw Chris was low with grandma, they went to him and he has so little will when he’s bad, it’s easy to convince. It was the same when he started. They were also the older people to give the students booze when we were in high school.” Ashlyn explained “If you don’t get into their business, they don’t go after you and they leave you alone. They don’t want everybody to know they’re addicts so they keep it quiet and don’t go around bugging anyone as long as you don’t get in their business or owe them anything. But of course if you get in, good luck trying to get out.”

“That is dark as fuck” Christen Press muttered looking around. It wasn’t uncomfortable for Ashlyn and Ali’s ex teammates to be there because they were all best friends, if anything they wanted to help. Everyone in the room was trustworthy, either best friends and/or family.

“So when were you gonna talk?” Mike snapped angrily “We could’ve called the police years ago, when you guys were younger and we could’ve avoided all of this, getting those shitheads arrested! Instead you shut up and go to North Carolina and around playing soccer, don’t you have shame?” Ashlyn’s eyes widened staring at her dad in disbelief.

“Mike!” Tammye glared at her ex husband.

“Mike” Ali stood up between her wife and her dad in law “I’m sick of this whole bullshit, alright? You’re gonna shut the fuck up and stop talking shit to my wife if you don’t want to piss me off.”

“Excuse me?” Mike Harris frowned at Ali “Who do you think you’re talking to that way?”

“Honestly? I have no idea” Ali snapped, glaring at him “because I thought I was reasoning with my kind, loving father-in-law, but instead I’m arguing with some guy who thinks is right to throw shit on his little girl, who has done nothing but to help her family and carry them out of their shit all her life since she was a kid. So I’m telling you Mike, I don’t care if we’re family, if you go against my family, I’ll go against you. Unless you can have the decency of apologizing to your daughter.”

“Mike…” Tammye gave him a warning tone. Ashlyn shut up in embarrassment and shook her head looking at Ali’s back in front of her “Don’t you remember where we were when all of that was happening? If our little boy got into that business it’s not Ashlyn’s fault, we were the ones who weren’t doing our job.”

Mike sighed and looked down for a moment before looking back at Ashlyn and giving a nod.

“They’re right. I’m sorry honey, I don’t know what got over me.”

“Whatever” Ashlyn shrugged “now that we’ve ruined everybody’s night what if we just go have dinner?”

That night, Ashlyn couldn’t fall asleep. She stayed awake for a while thinking of Chris, her nose buried between Ali’s scalpels and her hand rubbing softly her belly, wanting to feel their little girl closer.

“Ash?” Ali had woken up and felt Ashlyn was awake “All good?” She asked lethargic.

“Yeah” Ashlyn kissed the back of her neck “go back to sleep babe, I’ve got you.” Ali turned around and snuggled against Ashlyn, pressing her nose against her clavicle. Ashlyn adjusted the sheets over them and hugged her wife closer settling her cheek against her hair “Thanks for standing up for me today.”

“Anytime.” Ali whispered before pressing a kiss against her neck, settling down again, and falling asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you guys like it? Please review and support fiction writers while we still have them ;D


	9. Making up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Harris' family changes and Ashlyn and Ali get intimate (there is a bit of sexual content)

One afternoon back in Orlando, Ashlyn got dressed with a black hoodie, a black snapback and sunglasses. Ali was watching TV lying on the sofa, too tired from her pregnancy to really do anything productive. She had very vital moments and then moments when the most appealing thing was to lie down watch _The Bachelor_ and eat popcorn.

“Ali sweetie” Ashlyn approached her “I’m going to Satellite Beach, I’m meeting a few friends. I figured you wouldn’t want to come since you’re tired and we’re going to be skating and stuff.” Ashlyn shrugged. Ali nodded and smiled caressing her face.

“All good, we’ll be here seeing if Troy gets a girl…” Ali pointed to the TV with the control and Ashlyn chuckled.

“Are you sure you’re OK with this?” Ashlyn asked.

“Sure babe, you go have fun with your friends, I’ll be alright. If any of us need anything, we’ll call you.” Ali assured her “Plus, Alex and Serv are literally next door if anything happens. Just be careful on the road.”

“Okay. I love you two.” Ashlyn kissed her and leant to kiss her belly “I’ll be back in four hours tops.”

“We love you too, don’t worry if you take longer okay? I don’t want you driving fast and having an accident. See ya mommy!” Ali smiled at Ashlyn and the short-haired brunette left the house.

Ashlyn did, in fact, hang out with friends at the skate park down in Satellite Beach for a while, but then she had another plans in store. She went all the way to the shittiest corners of Satellite Beach and quickly found a group of youngsters sitting by a park. Ashlyn had added to her outfit a black jacket with high neck and a neck gaiter, to make sure she wasn’t recognized.

“Hey!” Ashlyn said discreetly, making her voice sound manly “I’m looking for Snake and Diggs, any idea where I can find them?”

“Who asks?” One of the youngsters asked.

“Someone who could break your neck if you don’t help me find them.” Ashlyn said with a threatening tone “Speak!”

“They’re down Fishermen’s Hole, they’re always making business there.” One of the guys said with a nervous voice.

“Thanks.” Ashlyn gave a nod and left them. Fishermen’s Hole was the nickname the kids had given a dirty beach where fishermen used to be, and the name hadn’t changed in over twenty years, so Ashlyn knew the place.

It took her a while, but finally she found a group of around five boys and girls that looked to be in their thirties - late thirties with bottles of alcohol and burning drugs with spoons. She nervously approached them, hiding her nervousness as soon as she was close enough.

“Snake, Diggs!” Ashlyn said using an aggressive masculine voice “I’m here for Chris Harris.”

“And who are you?” A guy barely looked at her. He had glasses and looked like he hadn’t gotten in trouble in his entire life, but Ashlyn knew him well and knew he had been in prison a couple times for drugs.

“That’s none of your business.” Ashlyn said hiding her real voice again, as she knew them from high school “You’ve got business with Harris though. He’s being watched and couldn’t come himself, but he wants more material and he says you two are his usual.”

Snake, the guy with glasses, chuckled at the man next to him, Diggs.

“We’re not giving Harris a gram more until he pays what he owes us ever since Christmas.” Diggs said “How do we know you’re not a cop?”

“Because if I was, I would’ve had you two arrested already, jackass.” Ashlyn said.

“Hey!” Diggs protested and Ashlyn stood as right as possible, letting it clear she was taller, fitter and stronger, and Diggs murmured something and calmed down.

“Anyway” Ashlyn shrugged “I have a deal with both of you so you get the money he owes you. But I’ll only talk with you in private.”

The two men nodded and moved behind some palms and bushes with Ashlyn, so they were hidden for public view. Ashlyn then put her glasses down and pulled down a little bit the zipper of her jacket and the neck gaiter, glaring at the two guys, whose eyes widened and suddenly they didn’t look so cocky.

“Ashlyn” Diggs breathed out “girl, you can’t get into this business, you’ve got way too much to lose.” They respected her because she had never done something wrong or wronged them and she was always truthful and never went to the police. Plus, she made them proud with the soccer. They knew each other since middle school.

“I’m not getting into the business. I don’t want a thing to do with you guys, or the drugs or the alcohol. But you sell my brother and back in the day you sold to my mother too, through my brother. And now Chris is trying to recover and I won’t have you screwing his life.”

“He screwed it himself alone Ashlyn” Snake argued “look, we have nothing against you, but your brother owes us money, a lot of it, and we want it and we’ll do whatever it takes to have it. If you get in the middle, you’ll get hurt, seriously.” Ashlyn chuckled and then seriously got serious and glared at him fiercely.

“My brother isn’t going to give you a penny. No one of my family is. You should’ve known if you contacted him again I’ll come, and is your fault that you risked it. I’ve left written documents in safe locations in D.C. incriminating you guys for all I know and have proof for what you’ve done since we know each other. I’ve also spoken with several people about you two and left emails programmed to be sent tonight if I don’t stop it before. If any of those documents go out, your lives are screwed forever, I guarantee you won’t be able to breathe ever in your life, you will be looking over your shoulder until the last day. If anyone in mine or Chris’ side gets hurt in the slightest, threatened, or any of you do as much as to get a centimeter close to them, everyone I told about you will know, suspect and go after you. I’m an ex USWNT player and a well-known member of the community and of Orlando Pride, you guys will seriously go down. You already have criminal records…”

“Wait, okay, okay!” Snake got nervous “Don’t do that girl come on we’re not some mafia…”

“I won’t. But only if you swear to disappear from my brother’s life forever. No matter what he does or says, I want our people far away from your people and if you get any close, I’ll haunt you.” Ashlyn threatened “Understood?”

The two men glared at Ashlyn.

“Careful Harris, or you could get seriously hurt. Or your child. We might go down but you come with us.” Snake threatened. Ashlyn turned to him and punched him in the stomach with a thud, making him fall on his knees and groan.

“Am I fucking clear?” Ashlyn roared “I’m not playing around. You’ll regret it seriously if you get any close to us. Next to what I have in store for you, torture, prison or death will seem compassionate.”

“All clear.” Snake nodded bitterly “We’ll leave you all alone, don’t worry. We don’t want trouble, you know what our policy is.” Ashlyn nodded and suddenly grabbed Snake by the neck and pressed him against a palm tree, clenching her teeth and glaring at him as she squeezed her neck. He tried to breathe and break free at the same time, but Ashlyn hadn’t been training all her life for nothing.

“And if any of you dares to even look at any offspring of my family, I’ll personally murder you with my own hands, understood?” Snake nodded and Ashlyn let him go and left feeling her heart beating strongly in her chest. She was out of Satellite Beach in half an hour, on the way to Orlando.

Ashlyn entered the house she shared with Ali in Orlando City and heard laughs inside, recognizing the beautiful laugh of Ali with Deb. Ali’s laugh had curved Ashlyn’s lips into a smile before Ashlyn even reached the kitchen. Ali was sitting on top of the kitchen island as her mother sat on a stool with an empty cup of wine. Ashlyn had taken full four hours to go and come back and now it was pretty much dinner time and the kitchen smelled from the macaroni and cheese in the oven, Ashlyn’s favorite.

“Hello ladies” Ashlyn smiled at them, her stomach grumbling with the smell “hurrah, mac and cheese!” Ashlyn added looking at the oven after giving Deb a kiss on the cheek. Ali giggled.

“That’s my girl!” Ashlyn stood between Ali’s legs and Ali kissed her, cupping her face with her hands “you took your time, did you have fun?”

“Tons” Ashlyn returned the kiss enthusiastically “I’m sorry you had to wait so much.”

“It’s alright, I called Deb-Deb to make me company.” Ali smiled at her mother. Ashlyn turned to look at her.

“How are you Deb?”

“Pretty good, just had a meeting here in Orlando and then decided to crash by. You?” Deb looked at Ashlyn with so much affection and appreciation it made Ashlyn’s heart swell.

“I’m great, a little bit tired.” Ashlyn nodded “Are you staying for dinner?”

“Oh, no, I was just making them company but I should really go back. Mike must have dinner ready.” Deb said referring to Mike Christopher, her second husband.

“Give him much love from us” Ali stood up and hugged her mother tightly “it was great to see you mom.”

“It was great to see you too my love.” Deb kissed her and then Ashlyn “I’ll see you soon for the baby shower right?”

“Baby shower?” Ashlyn frowned puzzled looking at Ali.

“Yeah, we planned one for a weekend in two weeks, I checked your agenda and you’re free. I thought better now when the girls are free than let it wait a few months when you’re in the middle of the season and the girls are with that and the USWNT.” Ali explained. Ashlyn nodded.

“Oh, that is smart, good job honey” Ashlyn looked proudly at Ali, who smiled satisfied.

After dinner, the couple went to their bedroom and Ashlyn sat on the bed while Ali went to remove her makeup in the bathroom. Ashlyn looked towards the bathroom, whose door was slightly opened, and saw Ali looking at herself in the mirror while she washed her face, wearing a loose big tee shirt of Ashlyn that covered her four months belly, plus panties. Ashlyn thought there was nothing sexier in the world and before she realized she was hugging Ali from behind and kissing her neck.

“Mmm Ash…” Ali closed her eyes in pleasure. Ashlyn’s hands moved up and down Ali’s abdomen and finally rested on her breasts, massaging them as she left open mouthed kissed on her neck. Ali moaned and turned around kissing Ashlyn passionately on the mouth while pressing her nails against her crown, making her moan. Ashlyn felt her nipples stiff as she sat Ali on the bathroom’s counter and the couple engaged in a passionate session of kisses and neck bites. They removed each other’s tees and Ashlyn soon had one of Ali’s nipples between her lips, sucking it with abandon as Ali moaned “Ash… Ash… God, yeah right there baby…” Ali was as loud as possible in the bedroom, while Ashlyn was quiet because she did what Ali called ‘inside noises’ which was projecting her loudness towards her insides, gulping it, instead of yelling. It was like when Ali got scared and yelled and Ash got scared and made a sound more like ‘mm!’ because she yelled inside.

With a hand, Ashlyn devoted attention to the other boob. Ali patted a drawer of the counter and got out their favorite strap-on, that she gave to Ashlyn. Ashlyn’s pupils dilated seeing it and she nodded, removing her soaked boxers and putting it on. Ali bit her lip sexually as she gave some attention to Ashlyn’s own breasts before putting her arms around her strong muscled shoulders and using them to leverage herself down on Ashlyn’s cock, moaning when she felt it bottom, her legs wrapped around Ashlyn’s waist. Ashlyn moved her to the bed, where she started a frenetic pounding that had them both moaning strongly, even more as Ali took the chance to suck on Ashlyn’s boobs. At the end, they came together.

As the weeks passed by, soon came the day of the baby shower and by then Alexandra’s belly and boobs -to Ashlyn’s delight- had grown considerably, as had Ali’s mood swings and Kween needs.

“So what exactly is going to happen?” Ashlyn asked as she followed Ali downstairs with bags of food for the guests.

“We’re gonna serve sneaks, you’re going to pick up the sweets from the bakery and we’re gonna serve that too, and our guests are going to bring gifs for the baby girl. We’re also going to catch up with everyone, go watch your match later in the day and have dinner together because I reserved at that restaurant you like. And we might as well add names to the list.” Ali repeated for the fifth time that week helping Ashlyn collocate everything.

“Okay” Ashlyn nodded “babe I’m sorry I didn’t have today’s match in the agenda and I forgot until last weekend.” Ashlyn added.

“It’s okay Ashlyn everyone who’s coming is a soccer freak and going to your match is an added activity.” Ali turned around and copped Ashlyn’s face before kissing her with a little smile “God, the only flaw of this pregnancy is not being able to be as close to you as always.”

“Are you kidding me? I love it, having our baby close.” Ashlyn shrugged “Plus, you’ve got such a pregnancy glow babe…” Ashlyn kissed her again “Okay, let me go grab those sweets from the bakery and I’ll be back before the guests start coming.”

“I love you!” Ali never let Ashlyn go anywhere without telling her she loved her.

“I love you more!” Ashlyn said quickly before exiting the house to avoid giving Ali time to argue her.

What Ali didn’t know -and neither did anyone else- was that Ashlyn had already picked up the sweets in the morning, that were in the tiny fridge they had in the garage which Ali wouldn’t check because it was the place where they put the beer and wine that didn’t fit in the fridge and Ashlyn had already pulled out enough in the kitchen, plus, Ali didn’t drink because of the pregnancy. Instead, Ashlyn drove to a detoxification faculty that was in the outsides of Orlando City.

She was nervous, but she quickly made her way inside before she chickened out.

“Hi, I’m Ashlyn Harris. I come to pick up my brother Christopher, I got told he was ready to go?”

“Oh yeah Ms. Harris” the receptionist said confused “I’m sorry, I got told his girlfriend was going to pick him up?”

“Yeah, I told her I’d come instead. You can call her if you want but I’m his sister, it’s all good. Don’t tell him though, I want to surprise him.” Ashlyn gave her a smile that tried hard to show her dimples and the guy fell for it just like Ali usually did.

Soon Ashlyn was knocking in her brother’s door. Chris opened the door with a beaming smile and looking thinner but twice as healthier than the last time Ashlyn saw him, and the two siblings stared at each other with their mouths somewhat opened, surprised to see each other. Ashlyn cleared her throat.

“Hi” Ashlyn said feeling a knot form in her throat.

“Hi” Chris said “I’ve been clean for three months, I thought I could leave…” Chris started confused, afraid of his sister.

“Yeah, I’m taking you home. Can I have a talk with you first though? There’s a little park nearby, we can leave your things in the car there and do that?” Chris nodded.

The walk to the park was filled with an uncomfortable silence until the two siblings sat at a bench in a pretty park in front of a lake with ducks.

“Chris” Ashlyn breathed deeply and took his hand between hers, looking at him straight in the eye. He looked quite surprised “I’m sorry for all the hell you’ve gone through and I’m sorry I distanced myself from you this time. You’re still my brother, my best friend and I love you so, so much Christopher” Ashlyn blinked the tears away “we all do. Ali loves you like a brother. Kyle loves you like a brother. Deb and Ken look at you like another son. And we all care, I promise you, so, infinitely much for you. I know it’s hard to see but I did this for good reasons. One, I thought if I distanced that would give you strength to stay healthy even in the weak days because I know how much I mean to you and believe me, you mean just as much if not even more to me. And two… Ali and I have been trying to have a baby. By Christmas, we were two months into our fourth attempt and I was so afraid that if Ali was pregnant the baby came into a dangerous environment. I didn’t trust you around our baby and I didn’t trust that you getting into drugs wouldn’t bring bad companies. Now, don’t tell anyone but I’ve taken care of Snake and Diggs and their people and none of them will never bug any of us ever again” Chris’s eyes widened and he went to open his mouth but Ashlyn smiled and put a finger against his lips, that he kissed “it’s okay Chris, it’s completely fine, don’t worry about that. Don’t ask for explanations and that way if someone asks you can tell you didn’t know honestly. Just promise me you’ll stay away from that world.”

“I promise you Ash. I’ve changed. I’ve recovered and accomplished so much these three months…” Chris said.

“I know, Alison told me everything, I asked her in secretly. I’m so proud of you Chris, my brother.” Ashlyn couldn’t contain a sob and Chris hugged her urgently, and they cried into each other’s arms for a while. After a bit, they finally pulled apart “I have something for you. Ali went to an ultrasound early this morning, we haven’t shown this one to anyone yet so you’ll be the first.” Ashlyn put a paper out of her pocket and showed Chris a picture of a grown baby girl inside Ali’s belly “It’s a five months old girl. Today is her baby shower and I wanted to take you straight there so you can meet her.”

Chris took the picture between his hands with a delicacy like if he was holding the newborn herself and started crying hysterically.

“I love her. And I love you all.” Chris sobbed out.

When they finally entered the house, Chris behind Ashlyn for surprise factor, two little puppies ran to them.

“Oh my God!” Ashlyn high pitched. There were two French bulldogs, male puppies. One was black with brown eyes, and the other was dark gray with white paws and blue eyes. The black one had a collar with a bone-shaped plaque that said ‘Kriegs’, and the gray one had a similar one that said ‘Satellite’. Ashlyn took one in each hand feeling about to cry “Oh my God…”

“They’re so cute! You didn’t tell me you got puppies.” Chris said grabbing Satellite.

“That’s because I didn’t…” Ashlyn answered.

“Oh my God” Ali appeared on the doorstep of the entry with Kyle and froze looking at Chris.

“I think…” Ashlyn looked between her brother and the puppies “…we’ve got a lot to explain here…”

“Oh, I’ll do it!” Kyle raised a hand enthusiastically and chuckled “The dogs are yours. Ali wanted to surprise you, they’re named after Satellite Beach and the Krieger family of course” Kyle made a joking gesture of superiority “and Chris, hi man so nice to see you!” Kyle went and hugged Chris tightly. Chris laughed and hugged Kyle strongly.

“Brother! You look so good!” Chris kissed his cheek.

“These are mine?!” Ashlyn gave a high-pitched scream “Baby! I love you!” Ashlyn yelled grabbing the two puppies in her arms -taking the one Chris was holding- and kissing Ali on the lips. Ali shocked reacted to the kiss and returned it, smiling at her before Ashlyn went inside talking to the puppies with the most high-pitched tone ever. Kyle followed his in-law laughing.

“Chris…” Ali blinked looking at Chris, who stood awkwardly.

“Congrats” Chris gestured to the belly with a smile “Ash showed me today’s ultrasound, she’s so beautiful Ali. Like her moms. Somehow she’s got a bit of the two of you.” Ali sobbed and launched herself to Chris’ arms, hugging him tightly.

“Baby are you even going to look at the presents of our girl?” Ali chuckled at Ashlyn, who was lying on the floor with Chris playing with her brand new hairy babies. Ashlyn had actually sobbed hugging Ali with the puppies telling her she loved her like a hundred times. Now the two families and their girl friends -mostly soccer players- were in the living room enjoying soft music and the sweets and all the stuff for the baby.

“Sweetheart I’ve wanted these two all my life, the presents can wait until tomorrow.” Ashlyn answered with her eyes fixed on the two tiny balls, one fit in each hand. Ali rolled her eyes and smiled shaking her head.

“Don’t you girls have to be at a match like a while before the actual match starts?” Jamie Tworkowski looked at his watch.

“Yeah” Alex Morgan reluctantly looked away from the puppies -she was sitting on the floor playing with them too, seeing them ran away and towards her big dog Blue- and to Jamie “why?”

“Well I think you’re late.” Jamie said.

“Fuck, he’s right.” Sydney added looking at her own watch “Ash, we’re leaving!” she stood up.

“Okay bye!” Ashlyn wouldn’t look away from the puppies and Alex gave her a light kick on the hip so Ashlyn looked at her.

“You’re our starting goalkeeper!” Alex said with a know-it-all tone.

“Oh” Ashlyn looked at her for a moment “oh, shit goalkeeper training started five minutes ago! Shit!” Ashlyn jumped up.

“We were supposed to not curse when the baby is present…” Ali murmured with a chuckle looking at her belly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys since it's for me pretty necessary to hear your opinions (this is a give and take process that helps me know what you guys want and how to improve my writing) I'm requiring 5 reviews (of five different persons) to post chapter 10.


	10. Making a name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyle Krieger gets engaged, Ali deals with her hormones, and old friends come to the city to celebrate Princess Harris' shower.

“Shit the defense line is not the same without you sis.” Chris told Ali as they all sat on the stands to watch the game Orlando Pride vs. North Carolina Courage. Ashlyn had done a couple good saves today and they were laughing their asses off at how Ashlyn as captain, goalkeeper and mate was yelling obscenities to her team and pushing them forward. It was also hilarious to see some of the defenders scared faces when Ashlyn caught them by surprise.

“Oh my God they are so unused to her” Ali was cleaning her own tears from laughter “Come on Ash!” Ali yelled right in time for another good save that had the stadium euphoric.

“Is it me” Tobin commented “or people are taking a lot of pictures of your pregnancy?” Ali looked around and saw people pointing and taking pics. Ali looked pretty good with a tight dress and heels -yes, because as she told Ashlyn that morning, she’s Queen Alexandra- and the belly was pretty obvious with such tight dress.

“Aw, it’s fine. Good job honey!” Ali congratulated Ashlyn again “She has such ability to stamp herself against the ground…” Ali said proudly, making Kyle and Chris laugh.

“That’s my girl!” Mike was yelling proudly at Ashlyn’s moves. Without Ali, Ashlyn was having plenty of work, but the defense line was much better than they expected and Orlando was winning 1-0.

“Sweetie” Tammye leant towards Ali’s belly “your mother is a rock star.”

“Damn right” Ali chuckled “oh shit!” Ashlyn had saved a ball and collided with another player and she was down. Ali went pale “shit, oh no.”

“Did she hit her head?” Chris asked.

“Look at the replay!” Servando pointed to the screens, where they showed in slow motion what had happened. A player had accidentally punched Ashlyn right in the pit of the stomach, knocking the wind out of her, but Ashlyn was already getting up rubbing her abdomen.

“It was nothing” Ali sighed out “she just lost her breath…” Ali felt herself relax and relief wash over her. Ali looked at Ashlyn, who had her jersey a bit up for the fans’ delight as a med pressed on her abdomen and she nodded, seemingly assuring that she was fine. After the little pause, Ashlyn kicked the ball and the game continued. But at the end, Orlando lost by one point and Ali saw how Ashlyn stayed in the stadium until she was the last one of her team, signing autographs. The family and friends got to the railings that separated from the stadium and Ashlyn smiled seeing Ali.

“Hi gorgeous!” Ashlyn climbed on the railings to give Ali a kick kiss on the lips.

“Are you okay?” Ali asked concerned “you played incredibly well sweetie, don’t worry about that goal. You’re still in the NWSL.” Ashlyn nodded.

“I’m alright, really. It was a hard match but at the end I go home with my family, plus, is the baby’s day! It’s all good.” Ashlyn smiled content and showed her a newborn’s onesie without legs or sleeves and customized with the Pride’s colors and the symbol on the chest. Ashlyn chuckled “Tom gave it to me!”

“Oh that’s adorable!” Debbie took it and gave it to Ali, who grinned from ear to ear.

“I see your collection of sharks is also bigger!” Chris pointed out pointing to the new toys Ashlyn was carrying. Ashlyn grinned from ear to ear.

“See? How can I be bothered by this loss with how you all spoil me?” Ashlyn chuckled.

Later, they were having dinner at a restaurant. Not everyone had been able to stay, since some were very tired and headed back home or to the hotels, others had little kids who were tired and craving for the bed and some had work the next morning and lived far so had to go like for example Mike Christopher, Debbie’s husband, but Debbie stayed along with Ken and Vicky; Kyle and his boyfriend Brian; Chris and Alison; Tammye and Mike; Sydney (who had left her children with her husband back at home since the event had been mostly a girl’s day), Alex, Rapinoe, Abby Wambach with her wife Glennon, Tobin, Crystal, Whitney and Allie.

“God that was such a hard game” Crystal sighed out relaxing in the chair and chuckled looking at Ashlyn “no stroke yet?”

“No” Ashlyn chuckled “but I’ve got to speak with that defense tomorrow. This isn’t good for my life.” She joked, making everyone laugh a little.

“Aw, games with such thrill were my favorite to play” Ali lamented.

“Missing the game already Ali?” Abby playfully elbowed her.

“I miss it but at the same time I’m happy out of it. Had I been out there tonight I would’ve snapped at the referee a couple times.” Ali chuckled fooling around.

“Was my girl good?” Ashlyn asked patting her belly.

“Of course not, she’s the daughter of soccer players and I’d dare to say the donor played soccer too, probably another keeper. I swear she was jumping and kicking Ash” Ali commented, making some laugh.

“You’ll see how fast she starts running around the house.” Ken commented.

“If she’s anything like Ash, she’ll be climbing trees before she’s ten.” Tammye added with an amused chuckle.

“And slapping kids with dead fish.” Chris laughed.

“I think I might just keep her in here forever.” Ali joked, making them laugh.

“I can’t wait until she comes out!” Whitney said excitedly “Having grown with Ashlyn, I’m crossing fingers she’s a lot like her so we can take her surfing.”

“Oh I’ve already been looking at little boards…” Ashlyn started excitedly before seeing Ali’s glare “…only for curiosity, not that I’d buy one to my little nugget.” She corrected, bringing more laughing into the table.

“Okay not to break the mood or anything” Ali said “but curiosity is killing me… what happened with the whole keeping Chris at bay?” Ali asked looking at Ashlyn “I mean I’m happy as hell of having him here, but I’m curious.”

“That was the plan” Ashlyn shrugged “then I had a little talk with the pillow and came to the conclusion that the ones who cause trouble are the drug sellers of our good old Satellite Beach and that either we crossed that off or they’ll come back, one way or another. So I took care of them.”

“Are they in jail?” Alison asked excited, but Ashlyn shook her head.

“You kicked their butts!” Tobin hit the table with her fist in excitement “ups, sorry…”

“No…” Ashlyn raised her hands so she saw her knuckled were fine, apart from the slight bruising that sometimes came with soccer “I didn’t want to have to invent an excuse as to why were my hands like shit, so no.”

“Then?” Tammye inquired growing impatient.

“I went and had a talk with them” Ashlyn shrugged and looked at Ali “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, you’re pregnant so I didn’t want to worry you or play with your emotions too much.”

“Only for this time I’ll let it slide…” Ali shook her head with a chuckle “so you talked them out of it? That simple?”

“With druggies? No way!” Glenn was surprised.

“No, of course not. I threatened them with ruining their lives if they got any closer to anyone.” Ashlyn looked at Ali trying to advert if she was about to get murdered by her wife, but she was just staring in surprise “I know them since forever so I just told them they messed with the wrong family and I’m now someone in a certain good place to ruin their lives if they angry me. I’m not lowering my guard, but I’m confident. Now you” she pointed to Chris “as much as I love you in Satellite and all, should get out of there. You know the druggies and they know you, is a bad place to be.”

“Where else are we going to go? We work there.” Chris exchanged a look with Alison.

“I don’t know Chris…” Ashlyn shrugged “Look I’m not saying run like a coward, I’m just saying if I were an alcoholic I wouldn’t live between two Irish Pubs, you know? Florida is huge to find somewhere else half as nice. Like Melbourne for example, is pretty close to Orlando and still in the Atlantic. Or… don’t know, Los Angeles? I don’t know Chris, I’m the first one who dreads leaving Florida, but maybe is for the best since if you stay in Florida you can still drive there in a couple hours.”

“Mmm…” Chris shook his head “no, my place is in Satellite. I’ll be stronger, but moving seems like a waste of time. If I fall of the wagon I know I’ll find someone anywhere. I’ll just work in staying in it twice as hard. Plus, I could not move far from my niece!” he added smiling at Ali, who sat back showing off her prominent belly. Ashlyn side smiled and nodded “And I’d miss the beaches, the surf, the skate park, Corey’s kiddos… No, Satellite is my place.”

“Well you’re sitting in a table full of alcohol and you seem pretty nice so I think is good.” Ali commented, making Chris and his family look proud “Talking about moving around, I finally decided for sure where I want us to live when you retire.” Ali commented patting Ashlyn’s stomach. Ashlyn raised a suspicious eyebrow.

“I know, Virginia, you’ve left that clear…” Ashlyn curved her lips into a tiny smile and Ali shook her head, surprising everybody “What?”

“No” Ali shrugged “I don’t know if it’s the pregnancy or what but I’ve been thinking a whole lot, and I just don’t want to leave it here. We have a beautiful house by a freaking lake, the life is amazing, there’s a fantastic amusement park, lakes, green zones, good schools… like I googled tons and this city has everything, not to speak about the people, weather and the years we’ve already been here. The airport is pretty close so whenever my dad or Kyle come they’re easy to pick up, and you can drive to Satellite or Cocoa in what, an hour give or take? Every weekend. There’s surf close by, there’s more humbleness than in Virginia, and less of the big city snob vibe. This place is great, why move?”

“Ali I think I’ve never loved you more.” Ashlyn cupped her face between her hands and kissed her deeply. When they pulled apart, Ali chuckled.

“Not even when you met Satellite and Kriegs earlier today?” Ashlyn looked thoughtful and Ali laughed.

“Hey guys, how is it going in the name election?” Sydney asked “Some of us want to get her customized stuff.” She added in a serious tone but fooling around.

“We’ve got a list to decide when we see her.” Ali explained. Ashlyn pulled out her phone to check.

“Drew, Renée, Sophie, Madeleine, Emma…” Ashlyn shrugged “we’ll see when she’s born.” Mike raised his eyebrows.

“Madeleine? As your grandma?” Ashlyn shrugged.

“I know she didn’t want anyone to be named like her because she thought that was old school, but maybe middle name…” Ashlyn commented.

“I think it’s a beautiful name.” Ali kissed her cheek.

“We’ll see though” Ashlyn affirmed “I know when we see her face it’ll come down to us.”

“Yeah, those things happen often.” Mike nodded with a proud smile “With Ashlyn we were between Elizabeth and Samantha.” Ashlyn, who knew the story, face palmed herself, hiding her face behind her hand in embarrassment as the table burst into laughing, even Ashlyn’s parents. Ali shamelessly threw her head back laughing.

“Oh my God that’s so non-Ashlyn!” Ali laughed.

“What changed your mind?” Kyle asked amused.

“Well” Tammye intervened “when we were holding our baby girl it was clear none of those super cheesy names went with the wink and the dimples she was giving us” the table awed “so we asked Christopher, who was almost three, ‘how do you think should your little sister be named?’ and he just said ‘Ashlyn’. And then Michelle tagged along because it was my mother’s name, it fit and we liked it, but my parents passed long before any of the kids were born.”

“And that’s how Chris became my best friend.” Ashlyn high fived her brother. Ali stared at Ashlyn.

“Elizabeth Harris…” Ali murmured, and shock her head laughing “not a chance!”

“Hey guys!” Deb smiled at Kyle and his boyfriend “and when are you two going to join the fun of giving your mother grandchildren uh?” Kyle laughed and Brian smiled.

“Actually…” Brian looked at Kyle, who nodded and smiled “I asked Kyle to marry me over Valentine’s and he said yes.”

“Dada!” Kyle laughed changing a ring he had in the thumb and putting it on the ring finger. The table looked at them suspiciously.

“No way” Ali shook her head “good try but you would’ve told me…”

“No, it’s for real, we’re dead serious.” Kyle shrugged and smiled a little “It’s just, you guys were going through a rough patch so I thought I’ll wait a little bit, and then I called to let you know but you blew the news about the baby and with all the excitement I completely forgot and uhm well… I was planning… to tell you at some point… I swear, and I told no one else because you had to be the first so I put the ring on the thumb so no one would notice and…” Kyle rambled.

“We get it son, congratulations and welcome to the family Brian!” Ken grinned hugging the two men. The table soon sank the couple in a wave of excited compliments and petitions to see the ring closer. Ali, instead, started crying and everyone turned to look at her. Ali had her face between her hands crying strongly and Ashlyn looked at her puzzled and put her arms around her.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” Ashlyn asked affectionately kissing her on the crown of the head. Kyle, who was sitting next to Ali, put a hand on her back worried and leant to try see her face.

“Honey I’m so sorry, I’m such a jerk…” Kyle started “please stop crying or I’ll cry too…” Ali just cried harder.

“Ali, we’re truly sorry, really, please don’t be so upset…” Brian looked like he was panicking. Brian was a mulatto man with short hair and dark eyes. He had a sympathetic and kind face and was natural from New York City, where he had met Kyle years ago, since Kyle was his usual hairdresser. Kyle worked for a magazine as an administrative and economist, and his scientific brains and love for art and photography had attracted Kyle right away. Plus, he played the violin and had beautiful hands, which was probably a plus. He was a truly lovely guy and everyone in the family had loved him since the very beginning.

“I’m such a terrible sister!” Ali cried out, and hugged Kyle “I’m so sorry Kyle, I should’ve been there for you! I’m so sorry, I’m such a bad sister! I’m so happy for you both! I’m so happy!” Kyle hugged his sister tightly whispering comforting words and looked at Ashlyn over Ali’s shoulder. Ashlyn simply mouthed ‘hormones’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shoutout to @grace_krashlyn @Almost388 @Erlamcmasar @Shadow18 and Abby for unblocking chapter 10!!! Thank you so much for your five wonderful comments. Thanks also to the 97 people who left kudos and the 5 persons who added this fic to your collections. I expect another pretty handful of comments between those 97 so chapter 11 is unblocked!!! I hate demanding comments like this but I really need to know the opinions because it gives me feedback and helps me get better! Yup, writing is not just a 1 way road. I like my readers to be active too, it makes everything feel less lonely and more homey and nice ;D Hope you enjoyed this chapter and once number 11 is unblocked, I hope you'll enjoy it too!!!


	11. Strong feeling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just some intense stuff as a prelude for a great birth

Ali woke up to the feel of Ashlyn turning and tossing in bed. Florida had welcomed June with quite high temperatures and Ali was already in her eight month of pregnancy, but Ashlyn’s mood was a mess. She went to soccer moody, even if being there restored her mood, had days when she wouldn’t get out of bed, and Jamie’s visits didn’t make her smile once. After a quick visit to Gregory, her old therapist in Orlando, he determined Ashlyn’s long-time depression issues were going through a stronger phase as August, her grandmother’s dead anniversary, was closer. Ashlyn had spoken about it as freely as usual, but it didn’t seem to help and Gregory said that she hadn’t been able to cope properly back in the day because her head wasn’t very well and she was entertained with soccer and the wedding and now that her brain was calm, it hit full force and she was just hurting. There was nothing to be done except keep doing sports to release tensions and stress, give her tons of love and let her feel whatever she needed to feel and process as she needed.

Unfortunately that meant a lot of nightmares, which didn’t help with the need the girl had to rest. Fortunately she could always sneak a nap or two during the afternoon, but it wasn’t the same and Ali, who was so pregnant now, couldn’t help but to need Ashlyn’s aid more often so she couldn’t let Ashlyn be as much as she maybe would’ve needed. Ashlyn had told her she was incredibly scared of people leaving and dying, and needed to be reassured a particular lot those days, but it didn’t matter what Ali did, Ashlyn’s fear was still there and Gregory said she had to come out of it on her own, since she knew consciously that no one was leaving, but the fear was irrational, so she had to realize with her heart and not with her brain, that already knew.

 

“Ash…” Ali kissed Ashlyn’s forehead “Come hug the whale of your wife.”

“You’re not a whale” Ashlyn murmured half asleep, moving to hug Ali, who rested on her back. Ali knew that helped Ashlyn sleep, weirdly enough “well… maybe you are, but you’re my whale.”

Ali giggled and kissed her head brushing her cheek as Ashlyn nudged her nose against the crook of her neck. Satellite and Kriegs were sleeping on their bed and Kriegs, the most affective of the two, made his way to them and snuggled next to Ali’s belly too, making her smile.

In the morning, Ali let Ashlyn sleep in, even more knowing the goalkeeper had an important match in the evening, and after filling a bowl of cereal, she sat by the kitchen island to devour it. The two doggies were eating from their bowl close by. The baby moved tons in her belly, although everything was okay with her. Soon she felt a familiar pair of hands massaging her shoulders before a kiss pressed against her cheek.

“Good morning my beautiful sunshine.” Ashlyn said making Ali chuckle and move an arm behind her to squeeze Ashlyn’s ass playfully.

“Good morning. How are you feeling?” Ali looked at Ashlyn, who moved to make herself an egg.

“Bah” Ashlyn shrugged, dragging her feet “I miss her so much.” Then all of the sudden, she started crying. The two doggies got distracted by the cry and pawed to her, howling. Ali supported on the kitchen island to have leverage to get up and hugged her wife the best she could.

“Look” Ali put Ashlyn’s hand on her belly “feel how she kicks?” Ashlyn stopped crying and breathed heavily, nodding “that’s your daughter. A beating heart kicking your hand to let you know she loves you to the moon and back already. She’s here even if she isn’t really here, just like your grandma. And none of them will ever leave you.” Ashlyn supported her forehead on Ali’s shoulder and sighed deeply, while Ali hugged her as best as possible “I love you so much my girl and I promise you we’re going to be here every time you need us.”

“I don’t know what I’ll do without you.” Ashlyn murmured against her neck “I love you both so much too. My perfect little family.”

“You’ll never have to know.” Ali assured her running her fingers through her hair. The doorbell rang and the couple pulled apart “It must be the fam.”

The match was going nice. It was a NWSL one and Ashlyn had been reluctant to letting 8-months-pregnant Ali go there when the crowds were gonna be full beast mode, but Ali insisted and since Corey, Brittany and their kids, Tammye, Chris, Deb and her husband, Kyle and Brian were coming, Ashlyn felt much more at ease and let it happen.

It was the 61st minute of the match when Ali started feeling a lot of abdominal pain. Kyle noticed she was hurting and smiled at her.

“Aw, my niece is wanting to step on the pitch.” Kyle smiled, but his smile vanished with Ali groaned, closing her eyes and hugging her belly “Ali? Are you okay?”

“It hurts…” Ali said clenching her teeth “it fucking hurts!”

“Maybe you’re having a contraction?” Mike Christopher asked frowning in concern.

“Oh God” Ali launched forward shutting her eyes close.

“Is Ali alright?” Corey asked concerned.

“I don’t know” Deb rubbed her daughter’s back worriedly “sweetie are you going to be sick? Or do you want to get out of here? Ashlyn will understand if you need to rest.”

“Maybe they’ll let you in the locker room” Chris suggested “since you’re you.”

“Ah!” Ali tried not to scream loudly in pain but it was loud enough for her family to notice and worry further.

“That’s it I’m taking you down see if they let us inside the locker room or if they have a nurse’s office or something…” Kyle helped Ali to her feet as the girl’s face contracted in pain.

“Sweetie” Debbie stood up and removed the hair from Ali’s face, her eyes widening at the sight. Ali was really pale.

“Mom… I feel really wrong…” Ali whispered with her eyes half opened. Everything was spinning around her and she grabbed into Kyle harder. Brian and Chris also stood up close by to see if they could do something.

“Ali’s bleeding!” Brittany said suddenly pointing to the floor under Ali’s feet. Blood was dripping from Ali’s crotch, the pants red already, and Ali was half unconscious, her brother and Brian having to steady her to avoid her falling. The family panicked and soon yelled for help. Ashlyn was close by and heard the commotion. When she turned to look at the crowd she saw it was Ali, and yelled for a timeout before running and jumping against the railing, climbing up and perching on it.

“Ali!” Ashlyn roared “Ali!” a few meds and security surrounded the group and Ashlyn looked panicked. Corey saw her and jogged to her, leaning over the railing to speak to her.

“She’s bleeding a lot and in a lot of pain Ash, they’re taking her out and since there are always ambulances by the doors just in case, they’ll have her in the hospital in no time.”

“I’ll try to be subbed out” Ashlyn panicked “Corey, tell her I love her. Tell her I’ll be there in minutes.”

Ashlyn, who naturally hated running, had most likely never ran faster in her life. The show had to go on so Tom let Ashlyn go and Ashlyn ran inside the tunnel, not even bothering to go to the locker rooms and instead running for her life outside the stadium. She caught the group as they put Ali on a stretcher, an oxygen mask against her mouth as the paramedics moved around her. Deb and Kyle had tears in their eyes and looked pale, Brian had a protective arm around Kyle while Mike did the same with Deb, and they all looked apprehensive. Ashlyn didn’t stop to say hi and just held Ali’s hand. She had thrown her gloves around on her way there, along with the hands’ tapping.

“Alex” Ashlyn breathed out, breathless. Ali was pale and opened her eyes slowly “Alex, I’m here.” Ali smiled slightly.

“I bet it’s nothing.” Ali whispered weakly. Ashlyn gulped the tears back and nodded.

“I bet. I’m coming with you just in case okay warrior?” Ali nodded.

“Okay.”

In the hospital they were informed that Ali had an uncommon condition called placental abruption, in which the placenta detached from the mother’s body, causing severe bleeding. It was a medical emergency that could kill both mother and baby, but since the detachment had been only partial and the bleeding was under control little after getting in the hospital, they decided to hospitalize Ali and wait the two weeks that were left until the labor date to see if a normal delivery could happen. They stabilized Ali and gave her some blood through an IV plus other meds, and soon Ali felt better enough to fall asleep, exhausted. Their family just stood by the bed.  
Ashlyn sat on the verge of the bed with a hand over the belly and another on Ali’s forehead. She was wearing her uniform, that was dirty with grass and soil, but she wasn’t moving from her position, her eyes fixed on Ali. The rest sat around. Tom Sermanni, Alex and Serv entered the room.

“Hello, nice to see you” Tom smiled at the family and put a hand on Ashlyn’s shoulder, the girl hadn’t moved or said anything “how is she doing?”

“She’s stable now” Ashlyn said with a hoarse voice “they both are. The placenta ruptured a little, but they think they can hold on for a couple weeks until the nine months are complete, so the girl is bigger.” 

“God” Tom nodded and squeezed her shoulder “I’m sorry Ash. But hey, your girls are true warriors and strong, they’ll be alright, you’ll see. I’m here for all of you if you need anything.”

“If you’re here for us” Ashlyn cleared her throat and fixed her eyes on Tom “put me out of the NWSL. Just for three weeks Tom, that’s all I’m asking. I need to be here. With my girls. This is the most important game there is for me.” Tom nodded slowly.

“Don’t worry about that, it’s done.” Tom kissed her on the head. Ali then moved a little and her eyes opened a bit. Ashlyn smiled through the tears that threatened to spill and stroke her forehead.

“Ash…” Ali whispered.

“Is okay honey, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.” Ashlyn assured. Ali smiled a little.

“You played awesome” Ali said weakly. Ashlyn chuckled breathed deeply to try not to cry. Ali frowned a little “Are you okay?” she whispered. Ashlyn, who knew that if she tried to speak she’ll break down, shook her head and supported it on the pillow, right next to Ali’s face “Sh… it’s fine… we’re good… we’re good…”

Ashlyn didn’t move from her side for the next two weeks. Ali wasn’t allowed to move much, which pissed her off, but having Ashlyn there sure helped and Ali was in better spirits. 

Their whole families and most their friends that were available had flown by right away for the imminent birth of the baby. Ashlyn, however, wasn’t very excited as the worry was killing her and she’ll only stop being tense, stressed up and on the verge of a panic attack when she had both her girls safe and sound at home.

“Ugh, I have so much acne…” Ali commented watching herself on her phone.

“It’s the hormones babe, you still love like a Queen to me.” Ashlyn kissed her cheek.

“I shouldn’t be so ugly…” Ali suddenly started sobbing and Ashlyn held her tighter.

“Don’t you call my wife that. You could never be ugly, even if you tried my love.” Ashlyn kept kissing her face and hugging her, sitting next to her on the bed.

“God, I miss my non-mental sister…” Kyle whispered, making Brian chuckle and look adoringly at him.

Ali’s face contoured in pain suddenly and Ashlyn frowned looking at her super worried.

“Are you okay Ali?” Ashlyn asked.

“Yeah… I think I just had my first contraction?”

True to her word, Ali had just had her first contraction, that was, as hours went by, followed by a handful others. It took a day and a half of contractions until Ali woke up in the middle of the night and slapped Ashlyn awake -since the short haired woman slept with her head by Ali’s on the pillow- and happily announced her water had broken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the support!!! I'm sorry I took so long, at first I was waiting for reviews and then I had exams. 10 comments for chapter 12!!


	12. Hard ride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baby Harris comes into the world in not the most ideal of ways, which will force the couple to open their minds a little and get strengthen their relationship fast before it comes apart.

“I’m doing this Ashlyn, I’m okay!” Ali assured Ashlyn as Ashlyn was prepared by the nurses to be there during the labor, in the OR where they had now found themselves.

“Are you sure you don’t prefer a C-Section?” Ashlyn asked for the ninth time in little over two minutes.

“I’m sure” Ali smiled confidently “I’m ready baby. We’re having our baby girl right now.”

“At four in the morning.” Ashlyn smirked, feeling her relief was close and at the same time being super nervous “She didn’t get that from me.”

“Okay Alexandra, you’re very dilated already, that’s great!” the doctor announced sitting between Alexandra’s legs “you can start pushing already. Let’s be soft at the beginning okay? Let’s try to avoid the placenta from coming off any further.”

“Are you sure this is safe?” Ashlyn asked.

“Ashlyn, this is not the first time.” The doctor smiled confident “Ali’s okay for this, and the baby is stable too.”

“Hold my hand” Ali demanded and Ashlyn immediately wrapped her hands around one of Ali’s.

“You’re going to be fine sweetheart” Debbie assured kissing her daughter on the forehead.

The labor itself was relatively easy, but Ali was in more pain than she remembered ever feeling -which was worrying since she had suffered ACL- although at the end, Ashlyn was called to cut the cord as a cry echoed. Ali smiled weakly and Debbie grinned as Ashlyn nervously went to meet their daughter.

“Oh my God Ali she’s beautiful…” Ali felt tears in her eyes as she took the newborn in her arms with a blanket. The little baby Harris looked just like Ashlyn when she was a baby, except for the hair. Ashlyn had been born blonde, while her baby had a dark mane of hair. Ashlyn grinned in relief kissing her dirty forehead not calling about whatever liquids were there and bouncing her softly so she wouldn’t cry anymore. Then, she was startled by a beep.

Ashlyn looked up.

“Ali!”

Ali was unconscious and white and Debbie was being pushed out of the OR.

“She’s bleeding too much!” a doctor yelled.

“Ms. Harris” a nurse approached Ashlyn “come with me, we’ll check your baby girl. Your wife will be okay, don’t worry.”

Ashlyn begrudgingly followed her, still panicking over Ali but going in full mama mode. She knew Ali needed her to take care of their daughter, and the baby’s cries reminded her how much she needed Ashlyn.

“Shh… Calm down my love, it’s all going to be alright.” Ashlyn hugged the baby against her chest kissing her head as they walked to another room nearby where they couldn’t hear anything from the OR. She let the nurses measure the baby, who was healthy and pretty big. They cleaned her up and put her a sharks onesie they had gotten ready for her and that made her look like a shark, together with a white beanie and white gloves and socks, and a soccer blanket.

“We’ll tell you about your wife when we know something.” The nurse promised Ashlyn before leaving her and Debbie to join the rest of the family. Debbie was pale and looked about to be sick, and Ashlyn wasn’t much better. Since the baby had finally calmed down, Ashlyn hugged her to her chest, promising herself she’ll always take care of her and would never let anything hurt her, not even in those hard moments, and the two joined the others and told them what happened. Ashlyn was shocked and not ready to do anything but grip tight onto the baby. The nurses walked them to a room where Ali would be placed when she was out of the OR so they could sit calmly.

“So what’s the name?” Kyle asked, pale in worry and needing a distraction. Ashlyn looked at the sleeping beautiful baby girl for a moment, and then it came to her and she knew somehow that Ali would love it.

“Sophie” Ashlyn answered “Sophie Madeleine Alexandra Harris.” The family smiled through their sad faces.

“It’s beautiful honey.” Tammye sat next to her daughter, putting an arm around her.

“She’s going to have her own name to make history with and the names of two very strong warriors and beautiful human beings.” Mike Harris smiled proudly. Deb sobbed and it was Mike Harris, Ashlyn’s dad, who hugged her tightly.

It took the longest two hours of Ashlyn’s existence, a pure agony, until they wheeled Ali’s bed in. Ali was asleep and looked much more recovered, with color.

“Is she going to be alright?” Ashlyn asked worriedly to a doctor.

“Yes” the doctor smiled and nodded “she lost a lot of blood, but she’s a tough girl. We’ve made sure all is good down there and hopefully we’ll be releasing her home tomorrow morning.” The sun was starting to come up already, literally.

Ashlyn let a breath out that she felt as she had held during weeks and started crying hugging her baby and saying thank you to no one or everybody in particular repeatedly.

During the next three hours everybody passed the baby around and cooed her, and Kyle, the photographer uncle, made the first photographs and videos of the beautiful baby girl all babbling about her in a much lighter mood.

“What about me?” They turned around surprised and saw Ali was awake and smiling with her signature smile and tears rolling down her face of happiness, sitting up in bed and moving her arms towards the little baby “I want to meet her.” Ashlyn grinned and took the baby from Chris, sitting on Ali’s bed in less than two seconds and handing her the baby “Sophie…” Ali cried out kissing her “you’re so beautiful my princess.” Ashlyn’s eyes widened.

“Actually” Ashlyn said surprised “I wrote in the papers that her name was Sophie Madeleine Alexandra Harris. You saw her as a Sophie too?” Ali looked at her with the eyes full of tears.

“Are you kidding me? She has a Sophie face. I love her name Ash. And I love her and you and it was all so scary…” when the sobs got too much, Ashlyn hugged them both, kissing her on the head and whispering words of comfort.

“It’s alright baby, now we’re all good. It’s all okay.” Ashlyn felt as if she breathed for the first time in two weeks “I love you, you were so strong.”

“Oh my God she’s gorgeous.” Three days later, Ali was sitting on the sofa back at home covered with blankets and holding baby Sophie in her arms as she breastfeed. Kyle was around taking pictures. Ashlyn smiled at them sitting on the verge of the sofa next to Ali, putting a hand on Ali’s knee, as Ali had her feet on the sofa and her knees up. Ali couldn’t stop grinning at the baby and making noises at her.

“I know, she’s just like me.” Ashlyn said cockily and Ali looked up at her and smiled.

“Okay, she’s done.” Ali put her boob back into her t-shirt and held the baby in her shark onesie with an USWNT blanket close to her chest “Ready.” Ashlyn took Satellite and Kriegs each in one arm and approached them to the baby.

“Guys, this is Sophie Madeleine Alexandra Harris. But you can call her Soph” Ashlyn smiled at the pups, who started smelling her “your sole mission in this life is to always protect her and kill for her if she’s in danger.”

“Ashlyn!” Ali laughed. The two doggies licked Sophie over the onesie as the mothers smiled, and Kyle took a picture. Later in the day Ashlyn uploaded the picture online.

‘ _Kriegs, Satellite and the world… meet Sophie Madeleine Alexandra Harris aka Soph. She’s healthy, biggie and loves cuddles, looking just like me, eating, sleeping and her mommy’s boobs. We might as well just be twins ;) #SoIGuessNowImAMom #CantBelieveItThough #TimeToLearnSurvivalSkillsAdvancedLevel #ShesCuteAsHellTho #OKNowHowDoILetAnybodyBreatheNearHer?’_

Soon her phone blew up in comments and people asked for Ali, since the pictures of what happened had been all over. With the stress Ashlyn had completely forgotten about that, but Kyle had tweeted back in the day saying Ali and the baby were okay and in the hospital after suffering an uncommon condition that made her bleed. Ashlyn sneaked to the bedroom and saw Ali curled asleep with Sophie and the puppies. Ashlyn smiled taking a picture and uploading it too.

‘ _Don’t worry folks, everyone is safe and asleep. Biggest scare of my life though. Sorry I haven’t said anything, I know you were all worried, I guess I was so concerned I completely forgot about you, sorry! Ali suffered an uncommon condition of the placenta, but now everyone is okay and she’s recovering real fast. Baby was born July 9 th and we’ve been here for a few days already, so you can tell she’s alright. I had to step out of the match a few weeks ago because I saw everything from the pitch and I got informed my wife was being taken to the hospital so I had to rush, I was on the verge of a panic attack and couldn’t continue playing and then it was my decision to step out of the NWSL until my family was alright at home. I’ll be back in a few days when I think I can go 90 minutes without having separation anxiety. These two have me wrapped around their fingers ;D’_

“And that over there is the lake” Ashlyn was speaking softly to Sophie, who sat on her thigh leaning back against her abdomen. They were sitting on the backyard garden one morning of late July, just enjoying the sun while Ali was still asleep. Having a baby had suddenly risen Ashlyn’s spirits so much, as the woman was focused solely on being in her best for her little child, and being ‘Brick Wall Harris’ to protect her. But Ali, on the other hand, had been weird for a couple days, although Ashlyn couldn’t quite pinpoint it. Ashlyn smiled at how the baby pursed her lips and saliva came down her mouth, which Ashlyn cleaned with a little towel. It was amazing how much the baby looked like Ashlyn. She had an oval face with marked cheekbones and chubby face, she had Ashlyn and Mike Harris’ dimples and a Harris nose, she had Tammye’s eye shape and the same color as Ashlyn, and a soft bit of light brown hair, lighter than when she was born. She was a very chubby baby, and pretty big for her age, like Ashlyn and Chris. They had decided not to pierce her ears so she could do whatever she wanted when she was older, and they raised her pretty much in a unisex environment.

Ashlyn and Ali were conscious that, as 80’s kids, they had imbedded the concept of feminine clothes and masculine clothes, against which they had to fight strongly when they looked at things as to avoid judgment. They didn’t want to define people based on their looks, even less knowing there were Nonbinary people, or genderfluid, or transsexual, or just girls that liked the traditionally considered masculine clothes and vice versa. But they wanted to create a world where clothes weren’t masculine or feminine, just one style or another (ex: badass, snob, cheesy, hipster, elegant…) and that started with raising their kid in a world where she wouldn’t even think about defining her things or herself as feminine or masculine. She had pink clothes and she had black and brown ones, she had princesses and dinosaurs as toys, and although for Ashlyn and Ali it was imbedded that ones were masculine and others feminine, they fought against it and didn’t imbed the same concept on her child, so she grew seeing everything as the same.

Contrary to the general view of society, Ashlyn wouldn’t be more masculine to Sophie, just would have a more hipster, badass, rock-roll style, and sometimes a very elegant and sophisticated one, depending on the day. Ali wouldn’t be more feminine to Sophie, just would have a cheesier and classier style with lots of love for dresses and pink.

That’s how Sophie was now dressed with a big USWNT t-shirt and pink socks with absolute no shame as she contemplated the two puppies playing around in the garden. Even Ashlyn was fighting against her hate towards pink, since she knew it was just one color more.

“Do you want to go wake mommy up?” Ashlyn asked sweetly to her daughter, who just looked up with a wink. Ashlyn chuckled and kissed her cheek for what was probably the twentieth time that day, and it was only ten in the morning “Okay, let’s go.” Ashlyn carried the baby against her hip and walked upstairs to the main bedroom. Ashlyn knocked softly and when she received no answer, she opened the door softly. The sun was coming through the opened window and falling over Ali’s back as the brunette slept peacefully face down, with her long almost black hair tangled and loose and she sheets by her hips as the woman spread occupying the whole bed. When Ashlyn woke up she had been hugging Ali, who was then a cute ball, but the brunette used as much territory as it was available, as Ashlyn had learnt over the years “Look at that” Ashlyn smiled exchanging a look with her daughter “that’s mommy. Isn’t she the most beautiful thing, Princess?” Ashlyn saw on the verge of the bed and rubbed up and down Ali’s back softly, feeling the skin warm due to the intense sun “Alex” Ashlyn sang softly “Alex, time to get up… there’s coffee downstairs and pancakes ready for you.” Ashlyn said softly, leaning to put several pecks around Ali’s face until she reached her lips. Ashlyn and Ali always woke up each other in soft manners and never yelled around the house, not even if one was on the bathroom upstairs and wanted to call the other, who was in the living room downstairs, because Ashlyn, after her rocky childhood, got quite startled when someone yelled in the house or any other noise happened. She liked her home calm and quiet.

Ali’s eyes softly started to open up and then closed with the sun, groaning as she hid the face against the pillow. Ashlyn smiled and massaged her head softly.

“Come on Queen, is time to get up.” Ashlyn said softly “Do you want me to bring the breakfast up for you? Would that make things easier?” The first couple days after the birth had been a bliss. Ali was exhausted, but she was still cheery and happy as expected. After that, it had slowly started to fade in such a slow and quiet way Ashlyn hadn’t realized of Ali’s lately difficulty to muster up energy or stay cheery until maybe a couple days prior, and then after talking with Ali, Ali had also realized she was right, since she hadn’t even thought about it until Ashlyn mentioned it, and they went to the doctor, who assured them it was probably just the body and hormonal changes after the whole pregnancy and the exhaustion after a complicated labor. They said Ali was just having a bit of baby blues and that she just had to rest and in a few days she’d be perfectly fine. So in the meantime Ashlyn mustered up compassion and empathy and worked as hard as ever to let Ali rest as much as she needed and do most of the task around the house, with the help of the cleaning marriage that came three times per week.

Ali didn’t move but hummed an answer.

“Please?” Ali had said.

“Awesome, don’t worry about it” Ashlyn kissed her on the forehead and settled Sophie in her crib next to their bed before going downstairs and putting Ali’s breakfast on a tray that she took back to their bedroom. To her surprise, Ali was curled up on her side, sobbing and sniffling softly. Ashlyn’s heart fell to her feet and she left the tray on top of their drawer before going to Ali and sitting on the verge of the bed, worriedly leaning over her holding her hand with one hand and putting the other on her back, rubbing soothing circles “Alex, what’s wrong?”

“I don’t know” Ali cried out sitting up and hugging Ashlyn tightly, letting her cries go strongly. Ashlyn, confused, put her arms around her wife and kissed her cheek, hugging her tightly.

“Okay…” Ashlyn’s heart broke with Ali’s heavy cries against her neck as the girl clung tightly onto Ashlyn “Then tell you what, I’m going to hug you tight just like this until you feel better, you heard the doctor, it’s just a bit of baby blues and you’ll be okay soon. Even if you’re not, I’ll still be here because I’m so in love with you and I’m never going to let anything hurt you.”

After a few minutes Ali had calmed down and the couple sat on the bed against the headboard of the bed and a few pillows as Ali leant onto Ashlyn, who put an arm around her with the tray on her lap, helping Ali get fed.

“I just felt like crying so hard suddenly” Ali whispered “and now I’m so tired Ash… so tired. Why don’t they tell you this part when they talk about pregnancy?”

“I’m sure this isn’t the usual tale sweetheart.” Ashlyn kissed her head “Is okay, you can go to bed again now, I just wanted you to be fed.”

“But I don’t want you to take care of everything all alone just because I’m an incompetent poor excuse of a mother…” Ashlyn frowned looking at her.

“Hey” Ashlyn pulled Ali’s chin up so they could lock eyes, Ali’s sad and teary “do not ever say such shit about yourself.” Ashlyn said firmly but softly “You’ve done the incredible for Sophie so far, you’ve taken care of her all by yourself for nine months and I can handle a few days of going more solo. I just want you to be okay Alex, whatever it takes. I don’t mind if what you need is to sleep, the same way you don’t mind it when I need to sleep more in my off days. We all have rough days and what’s important is that we wake up every morning, take breakfast and keep fighting. You’ve had a rough year, you deserve a break, understood? And Sophie won’t mind. She loves her mommy.” Ashlyn smiled a little, stroking her cheek “You’re one hell of a mother baby and I’m so proud of you.” Ashlyn leant and kissed her softly. Ali kissed her back and then looked at her.

“You truly think that way?”

“Truly, I’d never lie to you. I might hide information, but never lie.” Ashlyn chuckled and kissed her again. Ali smiled a little bit and Ashlyn grinned seeing that “That’s the smile I like to see!”

“You make it easier to put it.” Ali smiled harder moving to kiss Ashlyn, before pressing their foreheads together “I think I’m going to see a psychotherapist Ash… something feels really off and I don’t want to harm my relationship with Soph. I know she’s too young to remember any of this, but it will stick somewhere in her subconscious.”

“Okay” Ashlyn hugged her tightly “see? It takes a village to admit one needs help, and you’re already there. My strong, strong warrior.”

After a quick call to Gregory, he gave them the number of a psychotherapist he had a great opinion of, who was specialized in pregnancy and postpartum psychological issues. Ashlyn called and after explaining the situation to the woman, Eliza, she told them she had a couple hours free to get to know the couple and the baby that morning. She insisted that Ashlyn and Soph were there the first time and Ashlyn even a few others, since she thought it was the best way to get Ashlyn involved so she could help Ali too and understand the situation better without feeling stranded. Plus, Ali felt safe and more comfortable with her around.

“Nice to meet you” Eliza, who was a middle aged blonde woman with sparkling blue eyes, the skin toasted by the sun and an amazing curriculum, smiled shaking their hands “aw, this must be baby Sophie, she’s beautiful.” Eliza added stroking the kid, who slept in the baby carriage.

“It’s nice to meet you too, although we’re a little bit nervous here” Ashlyn smiled sympathetically at Ali, who smiled nervously. Ashlyn, between her normal personality, her grandma’s lessons, her activism in things like To Write Love On Her Arms and her frequent visits to therapists through the years, was pretty calm with the whole thing. Ali on the other hand had a hard time to get deep and speak about things, since the excess of vulnerability that she loved so much about Ashlyn overwhelmed her on herself. Plus, she wasn’t used at all to therapists, since she had only gone to the sports therapist a few times in her whole life, so she was nervous and really appreciated having Ashlyn there.

“Let’s sit, shall we?” Eliza guided them to a big corner sofa in the big, beige room that was neat and beautifully decorated, with huge windows that let a lot of light in. Ashlyn and Ali sat on the corner next to Eliza, who sat close, and Ashlyn put the carriage close by and adjusted it so the light wouldn’t bother the sleeping newborn “I’m Eliza Garmond, although you can just call me Eliza. I’m born and raised in Orlando and studied psychology and psychotherapy, but ended up specializing in women’s mind and even more in the mental issues related to pregnancy, abortions, miscarriages, postpartum, etc. I have a husband and four children from teenagers to young adults. I like to keep a friendly and comfortable environment, which is why on the phone I asked if it was okay to address you informally, and you guys can feel free to tell me anything, call me, text me, interrupt me, anything. I’m a good listener.” Eliza smiled kindly “Now, I know nothing about you except for the fact that you’re or used to be, professional soccer players, which explains why you look so fit” Ashlyn chuckled putting an arm around Ali “so tell me about yourselves, where are you from, how are your families, your studies, what things do you like… anything.” Ali looked panicked already and Eliza saw it and looked kindly at her “Ashlyn, since you told me on the phone you’re the most comfortable with this stuff, do you want to break the ice?”

[ **A/N: When I was at this point in the writing I found a lot of information on Ashlyn Harris’ family so if I’ve said contradictory stuff to what goes below in the past, correct it in your minds. I corrected what I saw but something might have slipped. Some of the deaths are invented and others are true, same with Chris’ issues and data about dating.]**

“Sure” Ashlyn nodded with confidence “I’m Ashlyn Harris, I was born in Cocoa Beach nearly thirty six years ago but grew up in Satellite Beach” Eliza nodded with a satisfied smile “my immediate family is my dad, Mike, my mother, Tammye and my older brother, Chris. My maternal granddad was a fireman but died years ago and my grandma followed a few years later, plus, recently I lost my paternal grandmother, Madeleine, with whom I was very close with, and my grandpa had died a bit before.” She openly explained. Ali was fascinated with her ability to speak so freely about something so rough “I also have a few cousins in both sides, some of them have kids too and since they’re all around Florida we all get together sometimes and I’m very close with everyone and the kiddos.” Ashlyn smiled proudly “My parents divorced when I was a teen and that threw my brother off the edge and he started doing drugs. It was a nasty time and I needed to get out so since I was doing soccer, skate and surf, which are some of my passions along with painting and art in general, I got a sports scholarship and studied Interpersonal and Organizational Communications at North Carolina University in Chapel Hill and won the first World Cup for the minus 21 US Women’s National Soccer Teams. Uhm, pretty much I’ve done soccer forever. I started dating Ali around ten, twelve years ago maybe?” Ali nodded when Ashlyn looked at her questioningly “Last year I retired from the National Team, but stayed at the Orlando Pride. I’m a goalkeeper. Ali and I got married in November after only a few months engaged and now we’ve got Soph.”

“Pretty nice Ashlyn” Eliza nodded in satisfaction “what do you want to work at when you’re out of the Orlando Pride?”

“Oh, I want to work in fashion.” Ashlyn nodded with a chuckle “I love that stuff. People wouldn’t expect that from all inked looking rough girl, but I actually love that stuff.”

“That’s great!” Eliza smiled “You told me you meet me through my friend Gregory right?”

“Yes” Ashlyn nodded “I suffer from anxiety and depression, for around twenty years now, and when a few years ago I came to Orlando to play for the Pride I found Gregory and he’s helped a lot. Over this last year even more, as I got a concussion playing in Tokyo for the Olympics and I died on the field and was brought back, it was really rough and required a lot of therapy and physical therapy too, he also helped Ali with that a bit.” She added looking at Ali, who nodded “Also my brother’s been sober for ages but he recently fell off the wagon and he’s all good now but it was pretty tough back then, it was Christmas so…” She shrugged “He was just very depressed because our paternal grandmother died in August and she was like a second mother to us and very, very close so… it was a big hit when she died and even more so little after I had resuscitated, you know? It was too much for him. I’m better now. Well, there are bad days and good days but since Soph, I feel quite awesome. Plus, I’ve got a really close and strong relationship with almost everyone in my family and certainly with everyone in my immediate family, which helps a lot since they’re always there for anything.”

“That’s great to hear, I see you talk with quite ease, that major really was useful” Eliza joked with a chuckle and Ashlyn laughed.

“Aw, my grandma taught me that actually. If you had meet me when Ali did, in my early twenties… man, I was such a party girl all cocky and doing all the stuff I shouldn’t do, like drinking too much and having so much fun, which isn’t bad really. But I hated feeling vulnerable and played tougher than I was, they called me Brick Wall Harris because of my goalkeeping skills and my toughness but irony is, I had emotional brick walls this high” she gestured high with her hand “and now they’re over. I’ve been a big activist for years, particularly with To Write Love On Her Arms…”

“Oh yeah, I know Jamie!”

“Yeah! So I’ve ended up being very open with things and learning how important sharing your story is. I’m not embarrassed by my past at all, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger right?”

“Damn right” Eliza laughed and looked at Ali, who was leaning against Ashlyn’s shoulder looking at her with love and admiration, with an arm around her stomach “feeling braver to go on Ali?” Ashlyn looked down at Ali and smiled squeezing her shoulder confidently.

“Yeah, I guess…” Ali sat up straighter but kept one of Ashlyn’s hands between her own, on her lap. She cleared her voice and Ashlyn gave her hand a gentle squeeze of encouragement, which helped. “My name’s Alexandra Krieger, now Harris, but everyone calls me Ali and well, Ash calls me Alex quite often. I was born in Alexandria, Florida, but grew up in Dumfries, I’m actually about to turn thirty seven in less than a week. My parents are Kenneth and Debbie, they are amicably divorced and always stayed friends. Now, my dad is married to Vicky, who has two sons, Koty and Tanner, who are in University and with whom I get very along. My mom remarried with Mike Christopher, which is confusing because Ash’s dad is Mike and her brother’s Christopher, so…” she chuckled and shrugged.

“Meant to be.” Ashlyn kissed her on the cheek sensing her nervousness. Ali nodded.

“Then I have a brother, Kyle. He’s older than me and he’s a hairdresser in New York City. He’s my hero and we’re super close, like, we even share a bed sometimes when he comes visit, with Ashlyn included” Ashlyn and Eliza chuckled “and he’s about to marry this wonderful guy, Brian, so I guess I’ll be having another brother in law soon. I got into soccer because of him. My dad was a coach and he coached me for a while, but Kyle was my biggest reason, I just wanted to do everything he was doing so we could play together. I went to Penn State University and studied Public Relationships, which seems kind of a joke now because I’m very private and to me is really hard to talk about my feelings and stuff, so it’s great that I married Ashlyn, who just gets me. I almost died in University because I needed a leg surgery because of soccer and it gave me a pulmonary embolism and several mini heart attacks. I felt awful so I told my then boyfriend, who was a med student and is now a good doctor, and he rushed me to the hospital where I got told if I had gone to bed that night, I might not have woken up. So I guess we’re both a bit miracle women” Ali smiled at Ashlyn, who squeezed her hand again reassuringly and nodded with a smile “and uhm my brother, back then he was stranded from me and everyone for a couple years because he was an alcoholic and a drug addict. But he came back and he’s spent ever since compensating his absence, of which he feels so guilty. I dealt with a bit of shit back then but I’ve never really had to go to therapists much or anything. I’ve never lost anyone really close or anything, the most traumatic experience I’ve had apart from Ash’s temporary death last year, was having a concussion myself years ago but I was pretty good with that, didn’t even faint.” Ali shrugged “And uhm… I left soccer all together last year so I could be a stay home mom, or get another job… just I felt like it was time to move on, and it was an amazing decision. We’ve always wanted to have children and now having Soph is a dream.”

“How was the pregnancy Ali?” Eliza asked.

“Ashlyn and I were on our fourth attempt and we were using her eggs and a donor’s sperm, my body. We were all excited about it. It was a pretty simple pregnancy, I didn’t even notice anything until I was like a whole trimester in, and it was all pretty smooth, all normal, nothing weird about it, I guess?” Ali looked at Ashlyn, who nodded and kissed her cheek briefly “Then a few weeks ago I was with some of our relatives watching a game of Ashlyn when suddenly I got really ill like, bleeding and feeling like fainting and stuff. All I remember is waking up in the hospital hours later feeling quite tired and being told my baby’s placenta had ripped a little and had caused a big bleeding, but since I’d be due in a couple weeks I could stay at the hospital and have a normal birth.”

“And did it go well?”

“No.” Ali shrugged “I guess yes because Sophie and I are both okay, which is what counts. But it was pretty traumatic, I guess. I don’t remember it very well but I had insisted on pushing Sophie and the doctors said it would be fine, but then, I don’t even remember the moment she got out. Ashlyn said she got out crying and Ashlyn cut the cord and held her, but I remember nothing, which I guess is part of the issue here right? I just woke up a whole lot later in the ICU and Ashlyn showed me Sophie and said she was ours, but for all I knew she could’ve been anyone’s. It was hard to believe I wasn’t pregnant too, since the belly was still there and I didn’t remember anything. I had started to bleed out and needed surgery, so for the first few days I barely saw Sophie or did anything with her apart from feeding her. Ashlyn wasn’t allowed to get her in to me very often. The first couple days I was so happy with Sophie but lately…” Ali sighed and Ashlyn moved to wrap an arm around her “I guess I’m a terrible mom because I feel constantly exhausted, not so much physically but emotionally and mentally drained, and then I look at Sophie… and don’t get me wrong, I’m not so horrible, I do love her! It’s just… it feels like when I’m with my little cousins or other babies of the family or of our best friends. Like I love her and I care deeply but there’s something missing, the mother bond, you know? It’s like if she wasn’t mine. And I guess it doesn’t help that she doesn’t look like me but the problem isn’t that she doesn’t look like me, the problem is how she was born, to me, that I don’t remember her then, it’s one of the most traumatic days of my life and meeting her another day is one of the best. And I hate feeling like this and I don’t want to harm my relationship with her and I’m so fucking hormonal…” Ali had started crying heavily and Ashlyn held her between her arms, comforting her.

This was going to be a hard ride

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long story short, Math isnt really my thing and I did not realize we got over 10 comments. So thank you so much for your patience and your amazing comments, I love to hear what you guys think! This story is fully written in my computer so whenever you want the product, just demand it as hard as you can!


	13. Understanding is hardworking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashlyn and Ali strengthen their relationship as they navigate through some difficulties. In the meantime, Sophie keeps growing up and gets a new nanny.

Eliza had confirmed Ali had postpartum depression due to the trauma of Sophie’s birth, but she had also assured them Ali would be okay with a little bit of her help. The first session had been introductory to get to meet each other and also explain what postpartum depression was and see Ali’s symptoms. Now, they had left Sophie with Alex and Servando and they were both back at Eliza’s consult for a second session.

“…you have to recognize in your subconscious, mind and heart, that your negative feelings aren’t to your daughter, who I can see you love, or to you or anyone, but to a day. A day that should’ve been a really happy one and ended up being really scary for you.” Eliza was explaining “Ashlyn has a kind of union with Sophie that you don’t have because Ashlyn was the first one to hold Sophie, to talk to her, to kiss her, to snuggle with her and her main caretaker until you were better, which was a few days. You don’t have that now, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have that, because parents with adopted children do just as fine as any other, and so do dads that aren’t there when their kids are born. The origin of your problem is the trauma of the birth, which gives you such emotional and physical awful feelings, which feeds your distant feelings towards your daughter, which itself feeds the shitty feelings. It’s a vicious circle. And if that’s not enough to make you feel so depressed and exhausted, then there’s the fact that your body went through a whole change for nine months, including the sudden cut of the huge amount of exercise you did with the USWNT and now is trying to get back to normal and your hormones are under control, so everything is teaming up to feed your depression, that causes your difficulty to feel closer to Sophie. Also, I’d dare to say that last year was an emotional rollercoaster for you and you never dealt with it properly so now that your mind has little entertainment, is coming back to kick your butt full force now that you’re down and bring you lower. In this last year you saw your then fiancée die in front of you, dealt with the feelings of responsibility and guilt coming from it, as I saw in the papers you sent me of your sports psychologists, but you still had, as you’ve told me, lack of sleep and huge amounts of stress and anxiety. And you pulled Ashlyn afloat and took care of her and then lived with her all the crap that she’s been going through and you Ali, you’re incredibly empathetic and you feel for her too and for that grandmother that was also very close to you and that brother in law you love so much and that went for something you already went through with Kyle. Plus the emotional distress of leaving soccer. And you were too busy emphasizing with everybody to look at yourself and how much everything made you feel, and since you looked okay, everybody assumed you were, because you’re Krieger, the warrior. You were already having a minor depression before you got a postpartum depression. Your body is asking for a much needed break. I mean, those spontaneous crying episodes have a cause, it’s just so much that you’re holding that you can’t even cry for one thing, so your body lets go of the tension and stress and cries spontaneously when feelings and exhaustion are too much.”

“Wow” Ashlyn whispered looking at Ali, who was recovering from another wave of tears against her chest, hugged by her “baby, I’m so sorry things went so wrong on you… I promise I’m gonna help you now sweetie.” Ashlyn kissed her forehead “It’s gonna be okay.”

“But don’t worry, we’re gonna address everything one by one, and you’ll be okay” Eliza assured confidently “you’ve already walked a huge step by being here. First things first, until you’re okay you have to stay afloat and in order to do that you need a class A+ nutrition, which I’m sure you know how to do being an athlete, to stay doing exercise frequently, sleep well and get hydrated. I’d also recommend yoga and massages to sleep better. A lot of Queen treatment” she winked at Ashlyn, who nodded with a chuckle hugging Ali tightly “I’m also going to give you a special antidepressants made especially for moms that are either breastfeeding or pregnant and won’t hurt Sophie at all. One pill per day and it’ll help.”

“Okay” Ali used a handkerchief to fix herself a little “but I have a newborn, how am I supposed to do all of that?”

“I’ll look after her when you’re busy, we’ll find a way” Ashlyn said confidently “plus you don’t have to be away from her to do that. Class A+ nutrition? I’ll cook for you, I do it often already and pretty damn good. Exercise? We do it together with Sophie in her carriage close by. Yoga? We can also do it together with Sophie in her carriage close by. And massages? Right before going to sleep while you and Soph are rested peacefully on our bed.”

“That’s a good plan. I’d also recommend taking more trips to the beach and other relaxing environments and spending as much time with Sophie as you can, even if you feel stranded or weird.” Eliza added.

“Okay, I will.” Ali nodded.

“You don’t forget to take care of yourself and see Gregory as much as necessary, uh Ashlyn? Rely on friends and family, you two can’t do all of this all alone.” Eliza affirmed “Now, I know you really want to start with the labor, but would it be okay for you if we start with the first traumatic experience recently, the concussion?” Eliza asked Ali, who nodded “Why don’t you tell me what happened in your version?”

“We were playing against Canada and I was a right back defender, my job was to make sure Ashlyn didn’t have to do hers, weirdly enough.” Ali said with a hoarse voice “A forward came with the ball and as much as I tried I couldn’t get it so Ashlyn had to step up and jump to try keep it off the goal, which she did successfully but then she fell back from the impact and she was surrounded by a bunch of people. Canadian forwards, US defenders and midfielders… everyone was there, I swear. So she tripped and somehow her head hit full force the goal post. And she fell face down and her head literally bounced on the grass and she was unconscious and everyone rushed in knowing something terrible had happened. She started having seizures and I ran to keep the tongue from being gulped. The meds rushed in and I was screaming and my teammates were holding me back so they could work. I was…” Ali squeezed Ashlyn’s thigh to reassure herself she was there “I freaked out and panicked. I was absolutely gone, I don’t even know how I played the few minutes left to the end of the match. Ashlyn, at some point, was just dead in there and the meds were doing everything to get her back, for what seemed hours. I remember how white she was and you can see her with her freckles that Sophie also has and her skin kissed by the sun, she’s hard to imagine pale but she was fucking white, even her lips.” She looked at Ashlyn, who leant to kiss her cheek “It took me a long time to not take myself responsible for letting that ball get to her. Anyway, the meds ripped open her jersey and undershirt and her torso was white and wasn’t moving with her breathing, so I freaked out even harder. I actually caused bruises on some friends. And they did CPR and defibrillation for ages until Ashlyn came back and I just ran to her. The meds asked her questions and I spoke to her and she seemed fine and we kissed and all but it was fucking scary. And it was fucking scary to have her in the hospital doing Dark Vader noises full with cables and all in the ICU for a while.”

A week later, near Ali’s birthday, Ali was taking a nap with Sophie on the sofa and Ashlyn and Kyle where watching soccer as silently as they could trying not to bother them. Kyle had already been updated in Ali’s state and had decided to fly immediately to New York so he could help look after his sisters and niece.

“They’re so cute” Kyle commented moving to take a picture of the two. He already had around a million of pics of Sophie and she hadn’t been in this world for one month yet. Ashlyn smiled looking down at the girls. Ali had her face squeezed against the back of the sofa and breathed deeply and slowly, and Sophie was face down curled into a ball on top of her as Ali’s arms hugged her close. Satellite was curled up by Ali’s feet. Ashlyn had covered them with a warm plaid blanket. Kyle sat on the floor next to them and started massaging Ali’s head delicately, leaning to press his lips against the side of her face lingering “You think she’ll be okay?”

“Yes, Eliza is really good. But the amount of crying is taking its toll.” Ashlyn sat on the verge of the sofa next to her girls and passed a finger over Sophie’s chubby cheek with a side smile “I swear Kyle, every time I look at them I feel so, so lucky… I wish Ali wasn’t feeling so bad right now. That she could enjoy these weeks as much as me and Sophie.”

“Me too” Kyle shrugged “we can only be there for them. Ugh, I think Sophie pooped!” He pressed his nose with his fingers and Ashlyn chuckled.

“Yeah, definitely. This cutie pie causes her own little messes” Sophie was starting to fuzz so Ashlyn carefully went to pick her up, only to have Ali’s arms stiffen around Sophie when Ashlyn tried to move them, as if refusing to let Sophie go. Ali finally woke up.

“What?” Ali asked sleepily.

“Sophie pooped” Ashlyn whispered “I was going to take her so I could change her diaper.”

“I’ll do it.” Ali groaned carefully sitting up and raising Sophie up a little. Ali gifted Sophie with one of her signature smiles with crinkle nose that made Ashlyn’s knees weaken “Aw, you’re stinky honey?”

“I can do it, you don’t have to get up…” Ashlyn offered “I don’t mind.”

“No, it’s fine. She’s my daughter too, I should do stuff” Ali kissed Sophie’s cheek affectionately “wanna come with mommy so she can clean you up? Yes? Yeah let’s go clean your stinky ass.” Ali spoke with a delicacy and affection to Sophie that Ashlyn hadn’t heard since Sophie was born, and it made her smile a little “Thanks Ash though” Ali gave Ashlyn a peck and got up, taking Sophie to be cleaned. Ashlyn and Kyle exchanged hopeful smiles.

Once Sophie was all cleaned up Ali brought her down, where Ashlyn and Kyle were finishing the game already.

“How is it going?” Ali asked, Sophie against her chest with a hand taking a fist of Ali’s shirt on the shoulder and another playing with Ali’s necklace. Ali wore a satisfied smile.

“It’s almost over, but Duisburg has already lost” Ashlyn gave an apologetic smile.

“Okay, what do you guys think if we take this one to the lake? I spoke with Serv on the phone like a minute ago and he said he was about to go with his tender boat, we could join so Sophie can meet the ducklings and maybe some fish?” Ashlyn raised her eyebrows, stunned.

“You want to go out?” Ali nodded, wrapping a hand around the one Sophie had in her necklace and bringing it to her lips “Ali, that’s amazing! What a progress babe!” Ashlyn grinned getting up and kissing Ali on the lips “I’m so proud of you.”

Shortly after Alex, Ashlyn, Kyle, Ali, Sophie and Servando, along with Alex and Servando’s dog Blue, where on Servando’s tender boat in the lake as Servando took them to a tour. Ali was sitting with her feet crossed and Sophie sitting on her lap as Alex made the quick-witted baby noises and faces and Ashlyn and Kyle took pictures.

“Oh my God she’s smiling!” Alex pointed out. Of course Sophie couldn’t quite smile properly yet, but she definitely was making the gesture, her big brown eyes looking around excitedly. Ali leant to look at her face properly and grinned.

“It’s her first smile isn’t it?” Ali asked Ashlyn, who nodded with a grin, taking pictures with her phone “That’s my sweet little girl, I’m so proud of you Sophie!” Ali cupped Sophie’s face delicately and kissed her forehead “I love you little one.” Sophie babbled and made unintelligible noises, but it was more than good enough.

Only a couple days later it was Ali’s birthday, for which Ali’s mother and father in law were driving to Orlando, were Kyle still was, and they were all going to have a calm day out with Sophie, Sydney’s family, Alex and Servando, and Crystal, plus Ashlyn’s cousin Corey Habovick, his wife Brittany, and their sons Jenson and Damian. Ashlyn made sure to wake up first, cook a huge healthy breakfast for Ali to take in bed, flowers included, and she woke up Ali with Sophie’s help.

“Good morning mommy!” Ashlyn hid her face behind Sophie’s and Ali grinned raising her arms towards Sophie so she could smooch her.

“Smooch!” Ali demanded looking at Ashlyn, who happily complied.

“Happy birthday love” Ashlyn said lovingly against her lips “you’re even more beautiful that when I met you.” Ali smiled cupping her face with one hand to kiss her again, holding Sophie in her other arm.

“Hey Ash?” Ali stroke her face and Ashlyn hummed “I feel pretty rested up and awake.”

“Oh my God Alex” Ashlyn grinned “you don’t want to spend the birthday in bed watching Netflix?” Ali smiled and shook her face “for real?”

“I want to go out and enjoy the sun on my skin with Soph and you and Kyle.”

“That’s so awesome, I’m so happy and so proud of you!” Ashlyn grinned giving her a good smooch and pulled apart “Well good because your mommy is coming with Mike and we’re all going to spend the day in the park next to the lake with Sydney and Dom and little Cash plus Crystal, Alex, Servando and Blue. And my brother is coming with Corey, Britt and the kids.”

“Really?” Ali grinned “Seriously babe?”

“Seriously.” Ashlyn grinned.

“Thank you so much, I love that!” Ali gave her another kiss thankful “Now peasant, make me space to enjoy my breakfast with Princess Sophie.” Ashlyn pretended to be hurt moving away and then laughed.

“Wait if you’re the Queen and Sophie is a Princess then I’m Queen consort Ashlyn!” Ashlyn objected, and Ali laughed and looked at Sophie lovingly.

“Your mama is a smarty-pants isn’t she?”

They got ready and all went to the park. It was a huge and beautiful park by a huge lake filled with ducks and Kyle had already been putting decorations around. Not very far away there was a tiny stage where a country-rock group was playing some good music and there was also a bar close by. The group had gone to a zone a bit hidden behind some bushes and trees so fans wouldn’t harass them. There was Sydney, Dom and their soon to be five year old son Cassius, with their little dogs Boss and Koba; Alex and Serv with their dog Blue; Crystal; Kyle with his dog Luna (Brian was working, unfortunately); Debbie and Mike; Corey, Brittany, their six year old Jenson aka Bubba and their three year old Damian; and the Harris, including dogs Satellite and Kriegs. Corey had said Chris and Alison hadn’t driven with them because they didn’t have space in the car so he would be about to arrive.

“You gotta love July” Kyle commented bouncing Sophie in his arms as they all sat on picnic blankets on the grass and the dogs played next to them with the children “I’m from July, Sophie is from July, my sister’s from July, and so is Alex, Dom’s birthday is in a couple days too…”

“It’s true we’re surrounded by Leos and Cancers!” Debbie smiled gesturing to get Sophie, that Kyle reluctantly passed.

“What a crappy thing” Corey faked disgust and chuckled “the kids seem to be having lots of fun though.”

“Yeah, we’ll see how long it lasts” Sydney smiled at the children playing “Satellite and Kriegs are adorable, so tiny!”

“Aw they’re very eatable until their puppy smell kills your nostrils” Alex laughed.

“Hey Corey are you sure Chris knows where it is?” Ashlyn asked her cousin, who nodded confident.

“He must be here already, yeah, look!” he pointed and they saw Corey walking towards them holding hands with Alison, and with his other hand he held a portable fridge with more drinks. To their surprise, Tammye was with them.

“Mom!” Ashlyn smiled running to greet her family. Ali, who had been sitting chuckling with Sophie’s gestures, stood up too and went to hug them.

“What a great surprise!” Ali grinned.

“I couldn’t miss my daughter’s happy birthday!” Tammye kissed Ali’s cheek and Ali almost cried with being called daughter. She had been called as such before but it didn’t happen that often and it made her emotional every single time. It made her even more emotional how much effort everyone had put to make sure she had a nice day, knowing she had been feeling so crappy for so long and her days were just starting to look up.

Ali blew her many candles -because no one would ever be so kind to just put number candles- with Sophie’s help and they started eating sitting in their picnic.

“You want some Sophie?” Ashlyn brought a tiny piece of cake to Sophie’s lips and the girl sucked it, coughed a little, and sucked it again, making them laugh.

“I’m not sure we should give her cake…” Ali chuckled.

“Me neither, but I only gave her cream nothing that could stuck in her tiny throat. You liked it don’t you gorgeous?” Ashlyn kissed her forehead “Having kids is pure experimenting babe.” Ali shook her head but smiled regardless. There had been a long time since Ashlyn saw her smile so often and she hadn’t realized how much she needed that “Do you think I could go back to the pitch in August?”

“Yeah” Ali nodded “Team Harris will sort itself out right Soph?” Ali high fived Sophie “That’s my girl!”

“So she starts feeling yours?” Chris asked. Ali nodded.

“Yeah, I don’t know if my mind is doing like if she was adopted but either way she doesn’t feel like such stranger anymore, there’s more union than there was. Eliza is helping a lot.”

“Who’s Eliza?” Mike Christopher, Debbie’s husband, asked.

“My psychotherapist” Ali said “Ashlyn’s therapist recommended her when we told him how shitty I was feeling and she’s phenomenal. We’ve had like ten sessions so far and she’s really good, Ashlyn doesn’t even have to come all the time anymore like in the beginning.”

“You’re fast to make progress but let’s not lower the guard yet.” Ashlyn kissed her on the cheek “Okay, time for me to play with those kiddos. Bubbaz, come here!” and she left running to the kids and throwing two to the shoulders, and making them laugh. Ali observed them with a smile.

“See Sophie?” she whispered to Sophie’s ear, holding her “That’s your momma and those are your cousins, Bubba and Dam, Cash… soon you’ll be playing like that too, you’ll see.” Ali pressed her lips against Sophie’s side of the face.

“I swear she looks more like Ash every day.” Tammye smiled at her granddaughter, stroking her face “It gives me so much déjà vu.” Ali smiled thinking of blonde baby Ashlyn.

“We’ll hope she’s just as nice then.” Kyle laughed. Ashlyn was already playing soccer with a soft ball with the kids, Dom, Serv and Chris, who was getting his ass kicked roughly by the professional players “Chris, how you dare play with professionals!” Kyle laughed at Chris, who laughed hearing him while playing.

“How’s the wedding planning going?” Crystal asked Kyle.

“God, I can only say you’re all invited. It’s just so many things to plan, thank God Brian is a natural with organization. We were thinking on doing a summer wedding next year in the beach or something. Dad’s was really nice. That way Sophie might be walking by then and can participate!”

“Aw, that would be lovely, but it’s in the middle of the NWSL Kyle. Ash is participating in it, I’m crossing my fingers so for once she can play a season from the beginning to end.” Ali commented.

“Well I’d do it like June or May, before the NWSL. Or maybe late in October after the NWSL to take advantage of the off season.” Kyle assured “Will you be my best man?” Kyle asked Ali, who laughed.

“I thought the point of a best man was for it to be a man?” Ali asked smiling.

“Who cares, you’re my best dude.” Kyle gave her puppy eyes.

“Of course I’ll be your best man. Ash can take care of this one.” Ali hugged her brother affectionately.

“Ash’s head is doing good I see” Chris said letting his ass fall on the grass, exhausted and surrendered “that girl is the death of me.” He breathed out.

“Yeah, she’s doing good. She has Gorres, you can’t compete with that. I, on the other hand, can.” Ali winked. Chris laughed.

“No way, I dare you to score on her!”

“Wouldn’t be the first time… okay, what do you bet?” Ali said cocky. Their friends whistled and laughed.

“You’re so dead Chris” Alex laughed.

“Uhm…” Chris looked at his sister, who had brought her gloves and had just stopped a ball from Serv “I’ll nanny Sophie during a whole weekend so you can take Ash around for a trip or whatever.” Ali gave her signature smile and shook his hand.

“I haven’t touched a ball since my honeymoon and I’m still going to crush you.” Ali laughed kissing Chris’ cheek and handing Sophie to Tammye as she got out “Hey guys, care to let a lady in?”

They observed as Ali warmed up with a few passes with the boys and then, it took her five attempts, but at the sixth, the ball snuck between Ashlyn’s legs.

“Fuck” Chris face palmed himself as Ali celebrated with the kids.

“You had it coming.” Alison laughed at her boyfriend.

“I really thought I had a chance with how long it’s been!” Chris laughed and took Sophie in his arms, tickling his belly “Your Uncle is a fool and now he’s going to have to nanny you, how sad…” Chris was already making blueberries on her as Ashlyn and Ali kissed in celebration.

Kyle filmed a video as his sisters danced to the music, happy to see Ali so happy and cheerful. Ali had also gotten many presents, from jewelry to other stuff, and had cried with Ashlyn’s gift, a big framed up picture of Ashlyn, Ali and Sophie, pups included. When the day was over, they all headed home, Chris and Alison driving his mom and themselves back to Satellite and Corey and his family driving there too, while Kyle stayed in the Harris’ guest room and Debbie and Mike went back to Miami, where they lived.

“You know what I feel like now?” Ali said as they had just put Sophie to bed and were getting the shower ready to shower together.

“What?” Ashlyn asked removing her t-shirt and looking at Ali, who bit her lip and went to Ashlyn, kissing her and running her hands over her muscled and tattooed torso and arms “Mmm… I think I have a slight idea where this is going…” Ashlyn moaned as Ali bit her neck “but your brother is next door and we haven’t done anything since Soph… are you sure?”

“I am” Ali moved a hand under Ashlyn’s boxers stroking her folds slowly “you know what I want? I want to put on the strap-on and fuck you senseless with it. Ashlyn’s eyes opened up wide and she pulled back “What?” Ali frowned.

“You’ve never fucked me with it. I’m always the one who does it.” Ashlyn said nervously. Ali side smiled.

“Yeah, so? I really feel like doing it Ash, unless you really don’t want to…” Ali hugged her squeezing her ass and kissing the freckles on Ashlyn’s tattooed shoulders “I’ve never done it either but I’m sure I’m good at it, I know.”

“Yeah…” Ashlyn blushed in embarrassment, nervous “Imightbevirgin.” Ashlyn blurted out without even separating the words. Ali pulled back, confused.

“Sorry?” Ali looked at Ashlyn, who blushed harder and looked down, confused “Ash, are you okay? Is there something wrong? If you don’t want to do it, is okay, I understand…”

“It’s not that Ali, of course I want to…” Ash shifter weight from one leg to another, nervously “is just… well… I’m a virgin.” Ali laughed.

“No you’re not! We have sex like fucking rabbits, no chance in hell you are.” Ali shook her head.

“No, I know I’m not, what I mean is I’m sort of… well, the biggest I’ve had inside were three fingers. In my whole life, I’ve never had anything more so…” Ashlyn shrugged, deeply embarrassed. Ali stood with the mouth open in surprise.

“Are you serious?” Ali asked, and Ashlyn nodded not daring to look at her.

“Yeah, I know, it’s ridiculous, I’m in my late thirties and I’m a rookie.” Ashlyn made a fake guffaw, looking like she was about to cry.

“No” Ali stroke her face “baby, you’re not… I’m sorry I thought… It makes sense, you’re a lesbian, you’ve never been with men, I don’t know why I… I’m sorry. Why didn’t you tell me, babe?”

“I don’t know, you’ve never said you wanted to…” Ashlyn shrugged “I don’t know, it never came up?” Ali nodded and hugged her, kissing her in the neck. Ashlyn hugged her back.

“It’s okay Ash, I understand. Having never had anything inside isn’t a bad thing or something you should be ashamed of, it’s perfectly fine and normal. It doesn’t make you any less of anything and you shouldn’t be embarrassed. I’d never shame you for that, stud.” Ashlyn nodded against her shoulder.

“Thank you Ali. I would like to try, though… if you don’t mind going slow and my incompetence and all that crap.”

“Okay, only if you want. But Ashlyn” Ali pulled apart and cupped her face between her hands “don’t you be fucking embarrassed okay? That’s not crap, that’s being careful and loving with someone I love and care so, so deeply about. I’ll go as slow as you need, I’ll stop and not move all the times you need, and I’ll use tons of lube, I swear. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I just…” Ashlyn sighed “I don’t want to disappoint you playing a role I’m not comfortable with because I’ve never done it. I want to do it because I think it’s sexy and I really want to have that with you, I trust you and I know if I were to ever let anyone fuck me, it’d be you, but at the same time I don’t want to disappoint you. I know you were initially thinking of hardcore birthday sex, which is definitely not slow and caring first time sex.”

“Ash, you’re not going to disappoint me because you could never! To me, is a pride and a true pleasure to do this with you and plus, yeah, it wasn’t my initial thought but it’s even better because at the end is making love and love can be made in many ways. And you know, as long as is you, the person I love the most in the universe, is going to be awesome and unforgettable because our love is any less for being more delicate in bed. It doesn’t matter if it’s slow or fast, rough or delicate, I won’t love you any less and I won’t enjoy it any less. Plus, I think it’s going to be super sweet and romantic.”

“Are you sure?” Ashlyn asked.

“I am. You?” Ali said stroking her cheeks.

“Yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the reviews!! As a very kind reader pointed out, I screwed up in the last episode and said Alexandria is in Florida hahahaha my bad! I guess I was writing faster than thinking. Also I'd like to point out a few things in this story aren't how they actually are in reality. Keep leaving comments and I'll keep giving you chapters!


	14. Things get horny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the title says, things get horny!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I know it's been SO LONG. I don't even remember what this fic is about anymore but good news is, I have the entire fanfic written so I will keep updating this story. I apologize for the long time! Life's been wild ;)

“Let me know if you need me to stop or anything okay?” after the preliminaries Ali was hovering over Ashlyn in bed, both nude, rubbing the tip of her fake cock against Ashlyn’s soaked folks. Ashlyn nodded nervously and Ali smiled leaning down, controlling her cock with a hand and supporting herself with the other one, smooching Ashlyn “Try to relax and breathe okay?” Ali whispered tenderly kissing behind her ear.

“Yeah…” Ashlyn nodded putting her hands on Ali’s hips “Just be careful…”

“Got you” Ali pressed her cock against Ashlyn’s entry a few times, slowly but persistent, until the tip of the cock popped in and Ashlyn made a weird guttural noise. Ali smiled kissing her, not moving any further “it’s okay, I’ve got you.” Ali whispered calmly.

“It feels so weird” Ashlyn murmured “doesn’t hurt but it’s like if I was doing number two at the inverse and through the vagina.” Ali laughed against her neck, making Ashlyn smile “Okay, keep going I’m good.”

“Okay, let me know if I hurt you okay? We bought this rather big for me…” Ali pressed a little bit further inside of Ashlyn, rubbing her clit with one hand, and stopped when she felt Ashlyn’s fingers pressing into her hips “It’s okay… God, you’re so tight” Ali pulled out and leant, lapping Ashlyn’s clit and sucking it while her fingers entered Ashlyn at fast speed, getting a few moans. Ali then substituted it with her cock, entering slowly again.

“Okay just get in already, I can take it.” Ashlyn said.

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t, I think I’m just contracting in anticipation you know? I’m making it harder out of fear so let’s just rip the bandage so I don’t have time to think and contract. Is like getting into the pool, the faster, the easier.” Ali looked concerned at her.

“You sure? I really don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t babe” Ashlyn smiled confident “there’s space and I’m dilated, it’s even slightly pleasurable already. I’m just contracting and hurting myself expecting a pain that you aren’t really causing.”

“Okay, all in okay?” Ali pulled out and leant to kiss her. When she was sure Ashlyn was distracted kissing her, she buried the cock to the hilt, so fast Ashlyn didn’t even have time to realize of what had happened. Ali moaned when she felt the cock press against her clit, their pubis brushing.

Ashlyn grunted and pulled apart.

“That’s it?” Ashlyn asked.

“Yeah, it’s all in.” Ali smiled at her and Ashlyn smiled.

“It doesn’t hurt, it just surprised me. God, I thought it would be worse.” Ashlyn chuckled looking down and Ali moved tentatively, making Ashlyn moan and throw her head back, her hands stroking Ali’s ass cheeks.

“You were right, you’re ready.” Ali pressed herself against Ashlyn so their breasts touched each other and started kissing Ashlyn intensely as she started giving slow but deep strokes that had Ashlyn moaning with her eyes closed, their hands roaming around each other’s bodies.

“Faster” Ashlyn whispered after a few gentle and loving thrusts that rocked her world. Ali started speeding and Ashlyn panted trying not to make too much noise so Sophie wouldn’t wake up and Kyle wouldn’t hear “God Ali, oh, so good…” Ashlyn had it hard to even speak with how she was feeling. Ali smiled moaning herself as she sucked Ashlyn’s pulse point, hearing and smelling the sex “Oh, aw, yes… Alex, Alex can you like… just ram?”

“Ram?” Ali chuckled.

“Yeah it’s like… I love it when you get rough and now I can take it.” Ashlyn smiled at Ali, whose eyes dilated.

“Yes my Queen.” Ali kissed her and pulled apart “On your side. Now.”

“Yes ma’am.” Ashlyn chuckled and lied on her side. Ali got behind her and entered her in one stroke, making Ashlyn grunt. Soon, Ali was ramming inside of her with all the strength of her athletic body, biting Ashlyn’s shoulder to avoid making nose as Ashlyn used a pillow to lower her volume, moaning heavily. Shortly after they both came.

“There you go” Ashlyn smiled as Ali went into the bathtub where Ashlyn was already sitting with Sophie. It was the day after Kyle’s birthday and they had just driven the brunette to the airport.

“Mmm” Ali enjoyed the warm water of the bath “Okay, pass me our fatty chubs.” She said extended her hands towards Sophie. Ashlyn conceded and smiled seeing how Sophie kicked the water and made little happy noises “You like the water baby?” Ali kissed her cheek.

“Of course she does, she’s a Harris.” Ashlyn chuckled proudly “Hey, how are you feeling?”

“I’m better.” Ali nodded “I feel more like myself and closer to Sophie every day.”

“Good… listen so, TV wants to come make a video for the USWNT YouTube channel about catching up with the Harris a year after their retirement. They’d come around the end of August. They’d be filming a bit with me in the Pride, you, they were thinking maybe we could make with them a tiny tour around our favorite places in the city, and come home interview us a little. Nothing really big.”

“Okay, good. Schedule a day with them that doesn’t conflict with your games and we do that.” Ali smiled gently.

“Really?” Ashlyn raised her eyebrows.

“You’re so surprised lately.” Ali laughed “Yes dork, really.”

“Okay stud. I love you.” Ashlyn leant and kissed her.

On her grandma’s anniversary a few weeks later, Ashlyn woke up feeling sad. Ali was curled against her with Sophie in the middle and Ashlyn turned to face them, groaning as she sank her face against Sophie’s hair loving the baby smell, and Ali instinctively put an arm around them both.

“Coffee” Ali groaned.

“You go.” Ashlyn answered.

“No, you go.” Ali argued. Ashlyn groaned further and reluctantly got up and walked like a zombie to the kitchen downstairs.

“Morning” Ashlyn whispered seeing both puppies were already playing in the kitchen. Ashlyn chuckled a little and started the coffee pot. She went to the bathroom to wash her face and there her eyes moved to the calendar they had in the bathroom to write down each other’s periods. There she realized it was her grandma’s anniversary “Shit.” Ashlyn realized the weight in her chest was because of that and went back to the kitchen pouring coffee in one mug. She drank hers fast and threw some clothes over her quickly before exiting the house. She didn’t want to stay a minute longer because she felt so moody she knew she could accidentally hurt Ali. She took her bike and rode down the street and further, reaching a lake and sitting by it, hugging her knees. Then Ali called on the phone “Hi babe.”

“Ash? Where are you?”

“I went out with the bike.”

“What? Why didn’t you let me know?”

“I’m sorry baby, I just needed to get out.”

“Are you okay?” Ashlyn sighed at Ali’s concerned voice.

“Today’s my grandma’s anniversary. I just needed to be out and alone with my thoughts for a while. I need a moment to just miss her in silence.” Ali sighed.

“Okay… where are you? I’ll pick you up?”

“No. I have the bike. I’m around babe, don’t worry okay? Just let me be, please. I want to be alone.”

“But Ash… I worry…”

“I know you do love, is just…” Ashlyn sighed in frustration “I need to be by myself. I’ll be fine, you don’t need to worry. I’m not going to do anything dangerous. I just need to ride a bike and clear my mind and heart a little. I know you’re there for me if I need anything.”

“Okay… be careful. I love you sweetheart.”

“I love you too.” Ashlyn hung up and sighed lying down on the grass and looking at the sky. The clouds moved slowly through the blue sky. She lied there thoughtful for a few minutes and then she pulled her phone and turned around facing the grass. She supported on her elbows and took a selfie of herself with the sky behind and posted it, regardless of her bed hair: ‘ _I’m not gonna lie, this grandma’s 1 st anniversary got me up quite sad. Felt the need to rush somewhere lonely to think a bit. Sometimes even if you have a wonderful wife and a marvelous kiddo you still need to have some space and there’s no shame ;) glad my family gets me so well and let me be without putting pressure on my shoulders. Today I remember the most wonderful grandma I could’ve ever asked for, for all the wonderful she was and all she taught me and did for me and today I remind myself of the importance of the people who are still alive next to me, and I thank heavens for them. I’m lucky enough to have a wonderful, huge, loving family, very appreciative fans, amazing friends… and these days I’ve been lucky enough to become a mother to the most magical baby girl. My heart is full of sadness and frustration but is also so, so full of love, gratitude, joy, and happiness. I’m not sure how they can all coexist, but they do. Last year I told my fiancée “we’re at the top of the world baby!” and God, we still are. Every single day I get to wake up next to her with our baby drooling all over our pillows, I feel I’ve accomplished all my biggest dreams, and I’m surfing at the top of the world. Thanks for standing by my side even if I’m no longer in the USWNT and all. Love, Ash. Xoxo._’

 Ashlyn was back home shortly after, Ali welcoming her with Sophie stuck to her boob. Ashlyn smiled kissing them both.

“Are you okay?” Ali asked with a worried glance.

“I will be. I have a wonderful family, why wouldn’t I be?” Ali smiled and hugged her tightly. Ashlyn knew everything would be okay.


	15. Lights, camera... and action!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cameras get a small insight into the Krashlyn life :)

The day was sunny in Orlando at the end of August, when a camera man and a journalist came to visit the Harris’ house. Ashlyn opened it with Ali holding baby Sophie, who was now a bit over a month old, and smiled.

“Welcome!” Ashlyn said with a grin.

After a few snacks and a little personal introduction and getting to meet each other and film a bit around the house, the five went to Ashlyn’s early morning open practice at the Orlando Pride stadium. Ali sat with Sophie and the journalists on the stands.

“So how’s life a year after retiring for you?” Lucy, the sympathetic and funny journalist, asked kindly. Ali smiled, rocking Sophie in her arms.

“Life’s good. We have our ups and downs, but I’m happier than ever.”

“Don’t you miss soccer, seeing your wife play it?”

“I do but at the same time, knowing I can always play it out of the professional job… I feel happy. It just felt like a book I had to put back in the shelf and start another, and I’m excited for that.”

“Are you getting a job any time soon?”

“No” Ali shrugged and chuckled “to me right now my job is to take care of Sophie the best I can together with my wife and to support and love my family. That’s all I care about. But I’ll probably get a job next year in something related to my studies, I don’t know. I don’t think about tomorrow much and I know whatever I do my family supports me, so it’s okay.”

“Many things have changed in the past year, now you’re openly bisexual and married and have a beautiful baby, how is that like?” Ali grinned.

“It’s great! I really enjoy just sitting here cheering for my wife and being there for all my daughter’s moments. Every day is a magic day and a dream come true and whenever I think things couldn’t possibly get better, they do. Even in the rough, hard days when any of us feels a bit off, we always manage to push each other forward, and we have an amazing net of friends and family to support us when we need it. Plus, Sophie really brightens any moment.”

“Talking about Sophie, we heard you were suffering from postpartum depression, do you mind talking about it?” Ali took a look at Ashlyn, giving her best by the goal, and realized she was okay with it all.

“It’s fine, I know it’s important to give some visibility to these issues. I’ve always dreamt with a family and so did Ash so before we got married we already knew we wanted a baby and we started the process because we knew it could be very long for us since we need doctor’s help for obvious reasons… knowing I was pregnant was a bliss. I’m serious, Ashlyn and I were over the moon with the news and Ashlyn took one week to buy thousands of baby stuff with Shark theme.” Ali chuckled at the memory “The whole pregnancy was good, no issues. But when I was close to my due date, I suffered what’s called placenta abruption, which means my placenta had ruptured and provoked a huge bleeding that got me in the hospital for two weeks until the due date, when I got in labor. At the beginning the rupture was partial so we were told it was fine to wait and just have a normal vaginal delivery, but when I was having it, from pushing or something, it majorly ruptured and I started bleeding out. Fortunately Sophie was already safe in Ashlyn’s arms, but I almost bleed to death and it was very traumatic. I didn’t meet my girl until around five hours later, when all of our family had already, so somehow part of that union baby-mother was lost with me, because of how traumatic the labor had been for me. It was so traumatic it sent me right into post partum depression, which made me more distant with Sophie, which made me more depressed at the same time. It was a loop. I fortunately have a wife who quickly picked up in the symptoms and realized something was seriously wrong and took me to a professional, who has been amazing to us and has really helped me. My psychotherapist helped me realize I had just been bottling down stress and sadness over things I never dealt with for a year, from Ashlyn’s concussion in Tokyo to her grandma’s death since I was really close with her, and together with different family issues, the emotional challenge of leaving soccer, and all the body and hormonal changes I had gone through, it just sent me over the edge and that disastrous labor was the last straw you know? So I was breaking down feeling so much I couldn’t even pick something out and deal with it. I didn’t even realize of how much I had kept inside because I’m not very good at opening up like Ash is. I would just be crying constantly and sleeping all the time and leaving the baby caring mostly to Ashlyn, I didn’t reject my child or ignore her, I wasn’t negligent, I still took care of her, feed her, and participated, but it was mostly Ashlyn, which is why she had to step out of soccer. And I thought I cried for no reason but with help of the therapist I realized I just had so many reasons it had made a ball and an emotional mess. Now, it has been a little over a month only, but I’m already miles better. I’m also lucky that my wife is the most understanding, loving, empathetic and comprehensive being in the world, and she gets emotions and struggle so much, she always knew what to do and never lost faith in me or got desperate or rough. She doesn’t blame me or resents me. So now, we’re much better and going forward.”

Later the group went to have lunch home and Ashlyn made a barbecue outside in the garden. As they sat down, they kept filming.

“So how’s life a year later for Orlando Pride’s Captain?” the journalist asked Ashlyn, who chuckled gulping down a piece of meat.

“Life’s been good.” Ashlyn nodded “You know, there are always ups and downs and we’ve had a few downs like my grandma’s death, but the ups make the rest so worth it. And I’m a mother of a beautiful baby girl and two hairy boys, so I’m kind of living the dream. I don’t get discouraged by adversity, it feeds me to push harder and go higher you know? So it’s all good.”

“Any thoughts on when will you fully retire?”

“No” Ashlyn shrugged “I’m just enjoying the moment. Trying to play as much as I can for as long as I can. The National team was just too much, but the NWSL is something I can deal with pretty well.”

A few days later, the family went to Satellite Beach to introduce baby Sophie to the surfing world. They joined the rest of the family by the beach and after Ali had made sure both Ashlyn and Sophie had big capes of sun cream before the three of them went into the sea with Chris, leaving Alison and Tammye on the shore.

“There you go sweet pie, good job!” Ashlyn grinned sitting on her table with Ali behind her and Sophie sitting in front of her “Enjoying?” Sophie looked at her new surroundings with curious eyes, but didn’t cry.

“She seems okay.” Ali commented.

“She is, she’s a little shark!” Ashlyn took Sophie and put her a little big into the water, seeing how she kicked her feet “see? Baby shark.” Ali laughed at the cuteness.

“Come here Soph, let’s watch mama surf.” Ali extender her arms towards Sophie and they sat as Ashlyn swam to the other board, that Chris was holding for her along with his own, and the siblings started taking the waves. Ali and Sophie enjoyed sitting watching, as the waves moved their own board a little “see Soph? That’s your brave mama taking those big waves.”

That night they stayed at Tammye’s house, and Ashlyn woke up to Ali shivering beside her.

“Aw, did you get a cold?” Ashlyn hovered over Ali, who coughed and tried to snuggle further into her. Ashlyn moved and put her arms over her, squeezing her gently “It’s okay, I’m here baby girl.” Ashlyn kissed Ali’s cheek and Ali stopped shivering and snuggled into her chest.

In the morning, Ali was a cold mess, sneezing and coughing all over. Ashlyn chuckled watching her with Sophie between her arms as Tammye gave her ‘The Harris remedy’ along with the recipe, and Ali took the green warm soup wrapped up like a taco in blankets.

“Thanks Tammye” Ali said with almost no voice, going into another coughing fit and shivering hard into the covers. Ashlyn took pity in her and passed Sophie to her mother before going and hugging Ali tightly, taking the spoon and feeding her as Ali leant against her.

“It’s okay, you’ll be fine soon.” Ashlyn kissed her forehead.

“You’ll get sick.”

“So I get sick.” Ashlyn shrugged, and gave her another spoon of soup.

“Thank you.” Ali closed her eyes resting herself.

Later in the day they made Chris comply with the bet and be their nanny and Ali and Ashlyn enjoyed a walk around the beach, Ali wrapped in sweats of both herself and Ashlyn, as the younger woman put an arm around the sick one.

“This is nice isn’t it?” Ashlyn commented.

“Yeah, would be nicer if I wasn’t so sick.” Ali snuggled into Ashlyn.

“I know, I’m sorry you’re sick.” Ashlyn put her arms around Ali “So I’m the best man’s companion right?”

“Oh, damn yes.” Ali chuckled, her nose red from sniffling so much “I can’t wait.”

“Well the wedding is in the summer next year so you’ll have time to get better.”

“Actually no” Ali said “my brother called yesterday, said they’re doing a January wedding starting the new year.”

“Wow, that’s pretty different from the sunny beach wedding I pictured.” Ashlyn said surprised.

“Kyle wasn’t very convinced about the beach wedding and Brian was impatient about getting married. They got told about winter weddings in the snow and how cool they are and got very well advised and all so they decided to go for it. We just have to warm up real good.”

“Not so much of a problem wearing suit, but you’re gonna be chilly.” Ashlyn laughed.

“Stud.” Ali hit her playfully “I’ll wear a winter long dress with a good long coat. Worse we’ve stood through in soccer.”

“That’s true.” Ashlyn smiled at her “You’re gonna be the most gorgeous best man ever.” Ali chuckled.

“Thanks honey.” Ali grinned giving her a Eskimo kiss and then suddenly sneezed in her face. Ashlyn blinked.

“Well… fuck.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will be absent for a few days because I'm going on holiday and my laptop broke, so I can't take the work with me. Sorry! Back on Monday tho!


	16. Baby cuteness and loss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A wedding, babbles and someone leaves the show

The months passed in what seemed like a very short time and soon, it was Sophie’s first Christmas and first New Year’s Eve. It was just a few calm and very happy few months. When Kyle’s wedding came in January, happening at a huge garden of a huge luxurious hotel in New York City, the whole family flew to it.

“Okay, she’s ready.” Ashlyn assured making sure Sophie’s little boots, leotards and leggings were covering her daughter properly, and adjusting the winter dress and the tiny coat, beanie and gloves “Awesome. Good job baby.” Sophie was now, at 6 months of age, a big baby who sat and crawled and made funny noises and smiles and observed the world with eternal curiosity. She had big brown eyes same color as Ashlyn’s and curly light brown hair that reached her shoulders. Sophie smiled at her mother and grabbed her foot with both hands before putting it in her mouth “Hey, don’t do that sweetie.” Ashlyn took the baby in her arms and bounced her slightly. She was wearing a winter suit with vest included and an elegant scarf and long coat “Are you ready love?”

“Yeah.” Ali got out of the bathroom with a long maroon dress with a black scarf and black long coat, her hair loose and curly and her makeup beautifully done.

“You look stunning.” Ashlyn grinned giving her a quick peck.

“Thank you my sexy, sexy girl.” Ali slapped her butt playfully “Where’s the apple of my eye?” Ali grinned taking Sophie in her arms. Their relationship had fully recovered, even if Ali still went to Eliza often. Sophie babbled and chuckled showing off her dimples, that Ali loved so much.

“Well time to go.” Ashlyn guided her wife and daughter downstairs to the hotel’s garden where the ceremony would take place. Almost everyone was there already “Good luck.” Ashlyn gave her a quick kiss on the cheeks taking Sophie in her arms so Ali could go to her best man spot. Ashlyn was in charge of helping Sophie get to the altar in front of the grooms, throwing flowers, as Sophie sat on her shoulders taking the flowers from a basket Ashlyn reached up for her and throwing them best she could.

After everyone was already tearing up with Sophie’s cute performance, Ashlyn sat with her in the first row next to her parents in law and saw the ceremony unfold.

“Congrats!” Ali hugged Kyle tightly after the ceremony for the fifth time.

“Thank you!” Kyle was excited “And this little princess did such a good job!” He added tickling Sophie, who laughed and demanded her Uncle’s arms reaching her tiny arms up to her. He gladly took her.

“She’s such an Uncle’s girl.” Ali smiled seeing them.

“Well since our little apple pie is entertained, may I take you to dance, Queen?” Ashlyn offered.

“Sure.” Ali laughed and went with Ashlyn to dance.

“Hey, I didn’t offer to babysit! It’s my wedding…” Kyle shut up and rolled his eyes, seeing his sisters were already dancing their hearts out pretty romantically. Then Sophie grabbed his beard and babbled and Kyle couldn’t help but grin down at her “I guess it’s not so bad after all uh, niece?”

Kyle and Brian left for the honeymoon and Ashlyn and Ali decided to take Sophie back to Orlando, where Ashlyn was in the middle of activism work with TWLOHA. Ali was involved, but she was still enjoying much deserved holidays and motherhood.

“Chris bought a new house.” Ashlyn commented one day as she looked at her phone while Sophie played with the dogs on the sofa next to her “And Corey invites us tomorrow to dinner.”

“Good, how’s Alison’s pregnancy doing?” they had been informed Alison, Chris’ girlfriend, was now five months pregnant, which was quite good news.

“She’s fine.” Ashlyn answered. Then, Sophie started crying.

“What’s wrong sweetheart?” Ali looked puzzled at her child, taking her in her arms.

“Did the dogs hurt her?” Ashlyn asked glaring at their cute and very loved French bulldogs that she loved so much but wouldn’t allow them hurting her princess.

“No” Ali bounced Sophie a little bit and the girl kept crying. Ashlyn, impatient, took her and suddenly Sophie wasn’t crying anymore. Ali raised her eyebrows and looked at Ashlyn, who was just as surprised. Sophie had leant her head against Ashlyn’s chest, her nose against her neck, and she looked happy and comfortable “I can’t believe my eyes…” Ali started smiling and ended up full laughing. Ashlyn chuckled and looking down at her daughter.

“Aw, did you just miss me little pumpkin?” Ashlyn asked tenderly stroking her face.

“I can’t blame her though, I love mama too.” Ali leant to give Ashlyn a quick peck “I’m gonna play with the dogs, they look sad the princess left.” Ali started making noises to the dogs, who barked and followed her running to the garden. Ashlyn smiled and looked at Sophie, who was starting to fall asleep.

“I really like to spend time with you and miss you sometimes baby.” Ashlyn whispered hugging her close “God, I’m never going to be able to let you go right?” she sighed and smiled at the now sleeping baby “Well for the time being, you’re here with me and none of us is going anywhere, and that’s all that matters.” When Ali came back, sweating and with the dogs happy in her arms, she found her two favorite girls asleep on the sofa, Sophie contently nudging into Ashlyn’s neck.

Ali put the puppies down by their toys and took her phone, taking a quick picture of the two of them. Ashlyn was sitting with her cheek against Sophie’s hair and her mouth slightly opened, her fully tattooed arms wrapped around the baby protectively, and Sophie had a fist of Ashlyn’s short sleeved t-shirt and was drooling against her neck. Ali took no time to post the picture online.

‘ _Little one was crying for Ashlyn’s attention, seems like I’m raising a princess right and she’s having Ash wrapped around her finger just like I’ve taught her ;) Can’t blame her though, I love mama Ash too._ ’

Little after, Ali woke them up for dinner.

“Come on little pumpkins, dinner is ready.” Ali kissed them both and Sophie yawned and snuggled further into Ashlyn’s arms. Ashlyn smiled getting up hugging Sophie tightly “Someone has mama need.” Ali smiled at her wife.

“I’m so screwed.” Ashlyn said as they sat for dinner and Satellite and Kriegs were already crying around her feet, Sophie sat on the lap. Ali laughed “In this house, is there someone who does not have full control of me?”

“I don’t think so, no.” Ali smiled adoringly at them “Sophie must miss you when you go training and stuff. And the dogs just know who’s not going to say no to giving them our food.”

“You were saying?” Ashlyn looked up like a deer in highlights having not heard her, her hand already giving Satellite a piece of ham and Ali just laughed crinkling her nose and making Ashlyn chuckle.

“Okay” they were sitting on the floor trying to get Sophie to talk “this is a cow, how do you say cow Sophie?” Ali said moving the toy in front of Sophie’s eyes as Ash held her. Sophie just looked around with big curious eyes.

“What is this Soph?” Ashlyn took Kriegs’ paw gently “this is a paw. Paw. Can you say paw?” Sophie moved her mouth making some unintelligible babbling and then laughed alone.

“This girl is too much.” Ali laughed tickling her little belly “You don’t know how to talk but you don’t need to talk to laugh your ass off don’t you little one?”

“She likes to laugh.” Ashlyn smiled “She gets that from you.” Ali smiled with her eyes and then Sophie sneezed strongly and laughed at how she had shaken with the strength of her own sneeze.

“Oh dear God” Ali grinned taking Sophie up and kissing her chubby cheeks “you’re so lovable!”

“Indeed” Ashlyn chuckled “anyway, I’ve got training with Stephanie in half an hour, do you want to come?”

“Sure!” Ali grinned “I’ll change Sophie so she doesn’t get cold and pack her toys in a bag real quick while you get ready.”

Stephanie Wick was a rookie at Orlando Pride, more than ten years younger than them, and that Ashlyn had taken under her wing. It was Stephanie’s first time at a professional team out of university, was in the Tar Heels just like Ashlyn and was a defender. Since she was a newbie, Ashlyn often went with her to train the two of them alone, and Stephanie tried to score on her or Ashlyn showed her a bit of feet movement. They had become really close friends and Stephanie was close to the family, often staying for dinner after practice.

“Good job Steph!” Ali cheered in the field. While the three adults practiced -Ali kept herself fit living with a player and going to the gym often and had recovered her post pregnancy body- Sophie sat on the grass surrounded by her toys and playing.

“Thanks!” Stephanie smiled “I did the thing with the foot that you taught me!” Ali nodded with a satisfied grin.

“Okay again!” Ashlyn threw the ball back.

“Thank you so much for your help.” Stephanie was saying as they said goodbye in front of the apartment where Stephanie lived with a roommate. Ashlyn and Ali had driven her there from practice “I really admire both of you, can’t believe you guys accept just losing your time to help me.”

“Hey, it’s not a loss of our time.” Ali argued “We’re pleased to help out.”

“Yeah, plus, you’re the next generation winning America the World Cup right?” Ashlyn chuckled and hugged her tightly “Good night girl, well done today.”

“Thank you, good night” Stephanie hugged her back.

“Good luck tomorrow!” Ali high fived her.

“Okay, let’s go home.” Ashlyn sat on the car and looked back smiling at Sophie, who was on her baby chair sucking a shark toy “You are adorable.”

“And she gets grumpy when she doesn’t sleep enough just like mama, so let’s go. You have a match to be rested for tomorrow.” Ali patted her thigh and started the engine.

The next day at the match, Orlando Pride was doing just fine, playing pretty good against Seattle Reign. Ali was watching the game with Sophie in her lap and Debbie, Chris, Alison and Tammye by her side. It was a preseason game and Ashlyn was playing pretty good, stopping a couple big goals.

“Good job Ash!” Ali cheered and smiled down at Sophie, who was, like everyone, wearing a ‘Harris’ jersey “See how good mama is honey? She’s a rock star!” Sophie smiled like if she understood, and bounced.

“That Stephanie girl is pretty good” Chris said “you can see she’s received special help.”

“She’s really good without our help” Ali said “she just needs a confidence boost, and Ashlyn is awesome at providing her that. I’m just happy to make sure the new right back is hella good.”

“She doesn’t even look like a rookie” Debbie admitted “Come on girls! Keep pressing!” She stood up to cheer up and Sophie babbled like supporting her grandma’s opinion. The whistle blew the end of the first part and after drinking from a bottle of water by the goal post, Ashlyn made her way to the family in the stands, covered in sweat.

“Hi you!” Ashlyn chuckled making a face at her chubby kid, who laughed.

“You played great!” Ali kissed her sweaty cheek as Ashlyn climbed on the railings.

“Yeah thanks… let’s see how that second half goes. Anyway, I’m going to the locker room and refresh a bit. See you in a bit!” Ashlyn gave her a quick peck.

“Good luck!” Chris yelled as Ashlyn got back to the field and ran into the tunnel.

The second half was being harder and tougher as the Seattle girls got a lot rougher. At one point, the Pride’s defenders were struggling with keeping a solid barrier at the goal from the Reign women and in a weird maneuver with jumping in a fight for the flying ball, Stephanie got kicked in the chest hard and went to the ground. Ali and company immediately stood up in worry, and Ashlyn ran to Stephanie, who was on the ground. The referee whistled a stop of the game and medical team rushed to Stephanie, who seemed to be struggling.

“What’s going on?” Chris asked “I can’t see anything.”

“Ash is speaking with Steph.” Ali said, seeing worry in Ashlyn’s face but not seeing Steph properly, since the two were surrounded by a few players of both teams. Suddenly Ashlyn was doing CPR on Steph.

“What is Ashlyn doing?” Tammye wondered out loud.

“She’s doing CPR?” Alison frowned “Does that mean the girl isn’t breathing?” Ali felt her own heartbeat get crazy seeing the desperate look in Ashlyn’s face as she kept doing CPR. The medical staff reached them and started defibrillating Stephanie. Sydney Leroux took Ashlyn and made her walk back, as the two stood close by with concern written all over their faces. After a while, they took Stephanie away and the players, although shaken up, kept playing.

Ali was dying in worry over Ashlyn, who was pale and seemed worried, which confirmed with a tearful glance to Ali, who mouthed an ‘I love you’ feeling powerless. After the game, that Seattle won, the family took Sophie home and Ali drove Ashlyn to the hospital, were they found Sermanni talking with Stephanie’s parents, who had come to the game.

“Any news?” Ashlyn asked after hugging Mr. and Mrs. Wick. She was still sweaty, not having stopped for a shower, and had her street clothes on top of her underwear, that she hadn’t changed after the game.

“They said there was something wrong with Stephanie’s heart” Mr. Wick said “that the kick could’ve made the problem worse. But it’s weird because if Stephanie had cardio issues, the medical staff of the team would’ve known with the med tests right?” Ashlyn nodded.

“Well, let’s just wait and try not to make assumptions.” Tom said. After a while, a doctor came to inform them of Stephanie’s condition.

Ashlyn barely understood the words. Basically it seemed like Stephanie had an undiagnosed issue in her heart that had started sometime between the last check up a week earlier and today, and that the kick had worsened the situation. Stephanie had died in the OR, at 23 years old.


	17. Heavy fighting

“I tried to help her” Ashlyn was saying “what if I just made everything worse?” they had just arrived from Stephanie’s funeral and Ali sat on the sofa with a cup of red wine while Ashlyn laid with her head on her lap, and Sophie played with the dogs on the floor in front of them.

“You did the best you could, what else could you have done? Let her die in there?” Ali stroke her hair gently. It was growing a little and although still short, it wasn’t so close-cropped.

“I don’t know.” Ashlyn sighed looking at Sophie “I just… she was only 23.”

“Life’s a cruel bitch sometimes.” Ali whispered, Ashlyn giving a nod.

“I’m retiring after this season.” Ashlyn said suddenly. Ali frowned.

“Why? You love soccer.”

“I know but…” Ashlyn sighed “I’m scared. I’m scared something will happen and I won’t get to be with you guys anymore. Plus… I feel like… I’m almost thirty-seven and there are young goalkeepers out there waiting for their chance, which is very important to get between goalkeepers to improve, and which is very hard to get because no one wants to leave their spot once they get it. But I’ve got all. It’s time for someone else. I’m also not so young anymore, it’s becoming harder for me to give my best. And I’m missing home more and more every day. Last time I had to travel away for a match I was mopey all the time.”

“Tell you what” Ali leant to kiss her forehead “you take your time now and when you’re feeling okay again, you think about this again.” Ashlyn nodded and got up.

“I’m going to shower and go to sleep.” Ashlyn left a chaste kiss on Ali’s cheek and another on Sophie’s. Ali sighed and scooped Sophie, who immediately got comfortable on her shoulder with her tiny nose pressed against Ali’s neck.

“Come on little one, let’s feed you and go play with Satellite and Kriegs shall we?” Ali smiled at the little toddler, not wanting the sad atmosphere to affect her too much, and Sophie just smooched her neck.

That night, nightmares awoke Ashlyn. She just kept seeing Stephanie die in her arms, like she knew it had happened. Ashlyn had confessed Ali she noticed Stephanie wasn’t breathing and started CPR, the med team tried in vain to resuscitate her too, then lied saying she had a pulse to the players so they wouldn’t go into shock right there, and took her away. Then Stephanie was brought back in the ambulance and crashed in surgery, when it was over for her.

“Hey” Ali wrapped her arms around Ashlyn, who had sat up in bed sobbing. Ashlyn hugged Ali back “I’ve got you.” Ashlyn cried herself to sleep and then Ali lied her down comfortably and spooned her, falling asleep shortly after.

At every game of that year, every player of the NWSL wore a black band in her arms in respect and reminder of a colleague. The Orlando Pride organized an event in Stephanie’s honor just a week after the funeral, a little ceremony in the pitch with some nice words and the giving to the Wick family of a framed Stephanie’s shirt and flowers, like when every player retired. As captain, Ashlyn was forced to attend even if she was barely holding up herself, and Ali and the rest of their families went too. Ali was in tears just after Tom’s words as the whole stadium stood up for Stephanie, Sophie scooped in her arms. Even Sophie had been crying affected by the general vibe.

“This is fucking unfair.” Kyle whispered next to her between grilled teeth. Ali didn’t even have it in her to scold him for cursing in front of Sophie. Kyle and Brian had come from their honeymoon to the bad news.

“Now Captain Ashlyn Harris, goalkeeper, will say a few words in Stephanie’s honors.” Tom said with a broken voice giving Ashlyn the microphone. Ali suffered in silence seeing Ashlyn’s broken expression, hearing her broken voice, but seeing her still pulling it together for Stephanie.

“Stephanie Wick” Ashlyn started, and breathed deeply “was a wonderful person. I could talk relentlessly about how good of a defender and fellow colleague she was, how hard she worked, or how she spent countless hours training extra officially in her free time, but you’ve all seen that. And even if she died here” she breathed deeply again and bit her lip “soccer wasn’t the most important of her. Because she was so much more. I’ve had her at my house so many times she’s been family to us. To my daughter, even if she can’t speak a word yet, she was introduced as Auntie Steph. And Sophie loved her, I can tell. I can hear her crying from here because she can feel how sad everyone is. And everyone is so sad not because now the Pride has it harder to win games, but because a great laugh has been lost. Because her signature squawk while singing in the locker room won’t sound anymore. Because we miss her hugs, her smile, her crazy sense of humor, her jumping around excitedly, the lifting competitions with her, the…” Ashlyn moved away to clean her eyes “sorry. I… I don’t even know what to tell you. Because I get asked to say some nice words for her but I’ve known her for little, since she was a rookie, and I’m heartbroken. And I miss her. And I can’t say in a few sentences everything she was because I won’t be able to give Stephanie her due. But I think there’s something that speaks for all she was and is that we all love her so hard. I love her. And I see so many tears here I know would only happen if all of you loved her, and for that to happen she must’ve been incredibly amazing. So I will just say that. Stephanie Wick was amazing. Was one hell of a wonderful person who left way too soon and who could’ve had a legendary career. But I will never forget her. Thank you.” She handed Tom the microphone and sighed relieved of having ended that talk.

At lunch later Ali couldn’t blame Ashlyn for playing with food more than eating it. Not even the presence of their families could help much.

“Come on Ash, get some” Liz, Ashlyn’s best friend since Elementary, elbowed Ashlyn. She knew sometimes her best friend only needed a bit tough love. Ashlyn nodded and let a fork of meat into her mouth “there’s nothing you could’ve done that you didn’t do already.”

“No, you’re right” Ashlyn chuckled bittersweet “because I literally did everything. I fucking took that girl weekend after weekend in my free time to practice extra hours because she asked me for it, I spent countless hours trying to help her out and teach her some, stuff that she should’ve listened to because I’ve been doing soccer for over thirty years and I know better, and you know what I insisted on the most and spent my lifetime telling her, and everyone else on that team, time after time?” she took a sip of water, rambling “Do not crowd _my_ goal. Let _me_ take care of it and do _my_ job. Do _not_ risk it, _ever_. First thing she does? Go and risk it. What she did was unnecessary, I was ready to jump for the ball. And now she’s dead.” She wasn’t really mad at Steph, she was just processing “She’s heard me talk about the concussions, the heat strokes, the injuries, hundreds of fucking time. And right there before she took that hit I yelled at her, I yelled ‘leave it to me Steph’, why wouldn’t she listen to me?” Ashlyn shook her head in frustration and sighed.

“For the same reason you usually don’t either and do whatever when playing.” Ali said kindly “She wanted to win. And she wanted to be the best. And it cost her life.”

“It shouldn’t have happened. If everyone had done their job right, it wouldn’t have happened.” Ashlyn whispered.

“You don’t know that” Ken intervened, gulping his food “you have no idea what would’ve had happened. Plus, the girl had a heart issue, we don’t know if it would’ve taken her away that night or the next day.”

“At least she would’ve had some more time” Ashlyn shrugged “we had a med revision the next morning, they would’ve diagnosed and she would’ve been able to take care of herself. I told her I’d give her the NWSL Championship cup when we won it, I promised. If only she had known when to back off and let me do my thing…”

“What’s the point on torturing yourself with the what ifs now anyway, Ashlyn?” Chris shrugged “It doesn’t matter how many times to watch the replays and think what could’ve been done better. Everybody knows each game is unique and you can’t really get a set of rules to follow every time no matter what because it’s impossible. You don’t know what would’ve happened to her if she hadn’t been kicked. Maybe she would’ve died that night in bed, instead of doing what she loves the most, surrounded by her friends. At least she died knowing you were there with her and she wasn’t all alone. And at least she died thinking what she stupidly did was worthwhile.” Ashlyn shrugged.

“Chris is right… we were all there, it doesn’t matter the what if… she’s dead now. And no one can change that no matter how much we want to. The only thing you can do is go back in the nest training and make sure no one risks it ever again. Make sure they know at the end you retire and it doesn’t matter that much the prizes you won, or the money, but the people that stand with you.” Ali said lovingly squeezing Ashlyn’s thigh.

“Damn yes I will” Ashlyn sighed “this will not happen again. Not on my fucking watch. Even if it takes those players getting one hell of angry Ashlyn tomorrow.” Then, Sophie started crying upstairs “I’ll go.” Ashlyn said, getting up.

The next day Ashlyn spoke with Tom, and he agreed with her so they lined up the whole team on the pitch and Tom left them alone with Ashlyn.

“This is just a game.” Ashlyn said firmly looking at them “Is just a game. In ten or twenty games you will all retire and enjoy a happy rest of your lives with your families, friends… but that will only happen if you survive this game. That’s the most important victory, more than a few championships, more than the Olympics, more than some prizes. I’m telling you, I’ve won it all and at the end of the day the only thing that matters is that I go to bed with my wonderful wife and in the morning I get to see my little princess smile, but that could’ve all not happened had I died on the field two years ago. I was so close and I wouldn’t have forgiven myself for it, because stopping a ball from getting in your goal is not worth it.” Ashlyn sighed “See the band in your arms?” The players looked at the black band “That’s your reminder. Reminder that you don’t get a second chance. Reminder that doing better is not letting less goals in or scoring more, but being happier and alive, and taking care of yourself, and going home to family. Reminder that is not worth your lives. Stephanie Wick should be the reminder, for the rest of your lives, of how expensive your desire to win can be, and you can never let it be so expensive. It will cost you everything. Fame, money? It can cost you every fucking thing.” Ashlyn said angrily “I want to win just as much as you, I want us to play our hardest and our best! But I want us to always be conscious of the risk of our actions, not to be afraid or scared whinny babies, but to choose wisely. Now, if I see any carelessness act, any recklessness, any lack of appreciation for your necks out there, I will kick your fucking ass!” Ashlyn had tears in her eyes and breathed deeply “Be conscious of the hell you’re doing and be responsible, because I will have Steph’s face in my sleep every single night of my life and I don’t want yours to join, fuck it!” The players seemed quite impressed “Now, we’re gonna be NWSL Champions, alright? We’re bringing that cup home to the Wick family. But we’re going to do that fighting and working our asses off, doing the best we can, wisely and responsibly and without unnecessary risks. Understood?” The players gave a firm ‘yes’ that echoed in the pitch “Okay. You’re family girls. Let’s take care of each other out there. I love you all.”

“Mmm” Ashlyn had surprised Ali at home with a shoulder massage as Ali breastfeed Sophie “what have I done exactly?”

“Being the best wife ever.” Ashlyn kissed her head “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

The next day at the first match after that tragic one, everyone was more tense and self aware than usual. It started with a full minute of silence and then the girls kicked it off and Ali could see that Tom and Ashlyn had definitely had a talk with the girls, who now even if they still played hard and strong, seemed to be more conscious of themselves and their game and less lost in it and the emotions that came with it. It seemed like they were double checking themselves through every move, and playing harder and harder.

“That was a good game!” Ali yelled while jogging upstairs, thinking Ashlyn was changing clothes after the game. When she entered their bedroom, she heard their en suite bathroom’s shower on and sobbing. Ali removed her pajama and entered the bathroom, where Ashlyn’s cries were heard stronger, and in a matter of seconds she was in the shower, holding Ashlyn close “It’s going to be okay honey. It’s going to be okay…”

“Leave me alone.” Ashlyn sobbed.

“What?” Ali frowned.

“Please Alex” Ashlyn breathed out “I need to be alone right now.” It felt like a kick in the butt, but Alex nodded and pulled apart, wrapping a towel around herself and going to get her pajamas back on.

A while later Ashlyn found Ali sitting on the steps of their backyard with her feet on the grass and a mug of tea between her hands. Sophie was sleeping in her crib and the dogs were playing in the back garden as Ali contemplated them. It was already dark outside. Ashlyn sat beside Alex and looked cautiously at the long haired ex soccer player, who just stared into the horizon without showing any acknowledgment of her presence.

“Please don’t be mad...” Ashlyn whispered.

“Okay.” Ali replied. Ashlyn pouted a little looking down.

“Okay?” Ali nodded “Then why are you acting pissed?”

“I’m not pissed.” Ali argued “I’m disappointed.” For Ashlyn, that was like a punch in the chest, and she frowned “I’m disappointed you still push me away after we’ve been together for ten years now.”

“Ten years…” Ashlyn nodded “I wasn’t pushing you away Alex, it’s just sometimes I need a minute alone. After ten years, you should now.” Ali made an angry guffaw.

“After ten years you should know when the fuck to shut up.” Alex said bitterly getting up and going back inside. Ashlyn sighed and face palmed herself.

Ashlyn stared patiently at Ali’s back as they lied in bed, waiting for Alex to do something. Ashlyn, impatient, moved a finger pressing it against Ali’s spine and moving it up and down over the highway formed by the bone. Ali made a grunt and moved away from Ashlyn, who retired her finger and sighed. She finally resigned to turning around and falling asleep trying not to cry.

Both girls seemed to have had the same idea of getting up early to avoid the other one in the morning, and ended up coinciding and going downstairs together. Ali ignored Ashlyn’s good morning and got busy preparing coffee for the both of them. Ashlyn made bagels and they sat together for breakfast, Ali breastfeeding the baby, but none of them saying a word.

“It’s our ten year anniversary next year, what do you want to do?” Ashlyn asked to break the ice, unable to stand the cold shoulder. Ali ignored her. Ashlyn smiled a little and shrugged “I could take you out for dinner to that place you really like down the coast?” again, no response. It seemed like Ali wasn’t even hearing her “If you want to do something else, we can… I could… maybe invite you to the spa for a weekend? Liz wouldn’t mind taking care of Sophie, she loves her.” Ali got up and left. Ashlyn sighed feeling so much sadness inside, but got ready for going to train and left the house, while Ali was watching a movie with Sophie.

Ashlyn was angry because she didn’t think she had done such a big thing to deserve such treatment from Ali, and texted her over the morning several times trying to get a response. But after: _good morning gorgeous / how are you today? / I was thinking of you / I love you_ and a few other light hearted and kind texts, she only got a _stop blowing my phone, I need to look after a 9mth old baby_. So she gave it up and resigned to accepting she was going to have to do whatever it took to get her wife back, so she came home earlier than expected and found Ali in the garden running around and playing with the now biggie pair of French bulldogs while Sophie took a nap on her car’s chair that was on the backyard now.

“Hi!” Ashlyn saluted jogging to Ali, who ignored her, and after some hard work, wrapping her arms around her from behind. Ali tried to get off her, but Ashlyn wrapped harder and kissed her on the shoulder “I love you. I’m sorry I’ve been a jerk but I can’t live with this cold shoulder thing and I’m sorry but I really don’t think I’ve done so much to deserve this treatment. And I’m sorry and I don’t know how to get you back and I need you and I’m a stupid jerk and I can’t live without you Alex.” Ashlyn finally pulled apart and hugged herself staring apprehensive at Ali, who turned around.

“I hate it Ash!” Ali sighed out “and I also hate being like this but you can’t just…” Ali sighed in exasperation “you can’t come with your sassy comments. You know, after then years, yes there are many things I should know but the first one is who the heck are you?” Ashlyn looked up frowning “Because the woman I married would’ve done everything to avoid pushing me away, she would’ve come to me and if she couldn’t, if she really couldn’t, she would’ve come to me later and tried to explain herself, which is what I thought you were going to do until you came with that genius ‘you should know’ comment. I wasn’t angry at all until that moment. I don’t want to celebrate our fucking anniversary, I don’t want a spa, or a restaurant, or anything. I want my wife back. Not some sassy poor shadow who doesn’t reach her ankles.” She snapped with teary eyes. Ashlyn stood there, puzzled and not even knowing how to feel first, because she had a mixture of utter sadness and grief mixed with a lot of anger, a great portion of it all coming from Stephanie’s death.

“Well maybe I’d be more myself if I wasn’t grieving, don’t you think?” Ashlyn asked “Jesus Alex yeah, of course I think you should know better, we’ve been together for ten years and yet here you are, are puzzled because I’m behaving in agreement to the human laws of grieving! Because I’m not being myself! Wow, maybe if you had a protégée friend who is your responsibility because you’re the captain, die on you and never wake up again, you’ll know!” Ashlyn ended up snapping “And yeah I know I’m not being my usual talking things through self but maybe I still am because maybe I just needed five fucking minutes to myself. And maybe you should understand that instead of judging me and judging that just because I need five minutes once, now I’m a disappointment because that’s not what recovered Ashlyn Harris would do.” Ashlyn really felt like going away, but she also knew she wanted that fixed that day, and leaving would only make things worse. Ali stood up puzzled.

“This isn’t because you pushed me away, I already told you that Ashlyn this is because of your fucking sass in the worst possible…!”

“Maybe I wouldn’t be so sassy if you weren’t telling me I’m a disappointment while I’m…!”

“I know grief too and I wouldn’t take it on you!” Ali shut her up. Ashlyn shook her head in disbelief.

“You know grief you say?” Ashlyn laughed bitterly “Sorry I forgot the incredible amount of people you’ve lost Ali. I forgot the amount of tragedy you’ve lived. Sure, of course you know grief good enough to tell your wife when she’s not grieving appropriately and disappointing you.” Ali glared at her “Must be really sad to have lost your grandparents before you could even remember them, to have a healthy, married brother, to have parents that not only have always gotten along even through divorce, but that remarried to wonderful step-parents. God, I can’t even imagine how hard it must be like having never gone to a funeral other than your partner’s grandparents and your partner’s colleague. Or, or, God, it must be a huge struggle to be home all day with your baby and two wonderful dogs without…” Ali slapped her across the face. Fast and hard. Ashlyn looked puzzled at Ali, who also looked quite astonished, and had tears streaming down her eyes. Ashlyn sighed and shook her head “That’s it Krieger. I’m going to leave Sophie here because I know how much she likes her crib and her stuffed animals, but I’ll stay at Alex’s tonight. And if you ever put a hand on me again” Ashlyn gave a step towards Ali, who stood in tears, shaking. Ashlyn felt so much pain, but also anger, she couldn’t even think straight “I’ll make sure we go through another nasty divorce and you can never see Sophie again when I sue you for domestic aggression. Got it?” Without expecting an answer, she leant to kiss Sophie goodnight, with tears in her eyes, took her emergency bag, and left the house, leaving Ali on the verge of an anxiety attack.


	18. Momo

Neither of the women could sleep at all that night. Alex and Serv were as kind as to simply offer Ashlyn a warm dinner and the guest room without asking questions, although at the end Alex snuck in Ashlyn’s room while the short haired athlete was crying and hugged her in bed until Ashlyn was done and explained her everything. In the morning, the three sat in the backyard as Blue, their big dog, snuggled with Ashlyn, who was reasonably mopey.

“…it was just horrible. We’ve never hit each other in seriousness. We’ve had worse fights but not fights so cutting and that said so much crap of each other…” Ashlyn sighed.

“You know Ali Ash, she has it terrible to talk about feelings and open up. Jesus, the German character really rubbed on her.” Alex said, shrugging. Ashlyn and her were best friends and roomed together frequently when they were in the National Team, from where Alex had just retired a few weeks earlier, after figuring out she was pregnant and deciding it was time and she was ready. She was still one of Orlando Pride’s forwards though “I bet it was all just a misunderstanding and that she regrets what she said.”

“I know but it still hurt Alex, and she hit me…”

“She’s passionate” Serv sighed “it’s never OK to hit someone but… what you were telling her would’ve driven anyone crazy. Which doesn’t justify the hitting but… girl, you both said really rough stuff. And I think either you let this burn your marriage to ashes, or you find it in your heart to forgive even the unforgivable and talk things out with her. You’ve got a daughter together Ash.”

“Yeah…” Alex kissed Ashlyn on the cheek “Girl, you can stay here for as long as you want, you know it, but I think right now Ali’s mind is going crazy and the more you wait the worst is going to be.”

“Okay…” Ashlyn breathed deeply “you’re right… fuck, and the whole family is here at a hotel, they’re going to flip if they haven’t already… I’m going back before someone talks Ali out of this marriage.”

Ashlyn decidedly walked to her house next door while scrolling through pictures of her family in her phone to remind herself this was bigger than her or Ali and opened the house to be welcomed by Satellite and Kriegs going crazy.

“Hi guys! It’s nice to see you too!” Ashlyn breathed deeply and smiled at them. She heard sniffling and went to the living room, where Ali was sitting on the sofa between Kyle’s arms, breathing deeply as if she had been crying, and sniffling the remainder. Their parents and step parents sat in another sofa contemplating the scene with confusing eyes and Liz, Chris, Brian and Alison sat on the floor keeping Sophie entertained and distracted. Everyone’s eyes instantly flew to Ashlyn “Hi…” Ashlyn said with a little smile. Ali looked up to her in a mix of fear and expectation and Ashlyn just walked firmly to her “allow me Kyle?” Kyle moved and Ashlyn sat next to Ali.

“Ash I…” Ali started and Ashlyn smiled and shook her head, taking her hands.

“I’m a jerk. I was rude and I was sassy, and I wasn’t dealing with my grief the right way and I let myself hurt you, which is something I can’t allow myself. I am so, so sorry for all that happened and I promise I’ll try to do better. Two don’t fight if one doesn’t want to and I shouldn’t have let any of this get so out of hand, even less in front of Sophie. I know we need to talk, but not right now okay? Just let me hold you?” Ali’s lip quivered and she launched herself on Ashlyn’s arms, holding onto her for dear life as she started another round of heavy crying. Ashlyn put one of her big hands on Ali’s crown and another on her back, hiding her face in her hair.

“Well, I’ll get us some wine.” Kyle said getting up and going to the kitchen. Ashlyn smiled a little and looked over at Sophie, who sat up with a toy in her hand, a marked frown and her eyes fixed on her mothers.

“Sophie baby, come here. Mama needs some loving.” Ashlyn said, and Sophie, who understood the hand movement Ashlyn made her and who wanted nothing but to be with her mothers, crawled her way to the sofa, where Ashlyn pulled from Ali a little and took the kid in her arms, hugging both Ali and Sophie. Then and only then, Ali started calming down again, an arm around Sophie and Ashlyn and her nose nudged into Ashlyn’s neck “I love you two.” Ashlyn kissed Ali’s forehead.

While Kyle invited the guests to wine and some of them started up some lunch, Ashlyn gave Ali some time to recover until the dark haired older athlete pulled back rubbing her eyes and looked at Ashlyn with exhaustion written all over her face.

“I’m so sorry… I don’t know what I thought I was doing. I didn’t mean to f…” she saw Sophie looking and mouthed ‘fuck’ “all up. And I’m even sorrier that I hit you, I don’t know the heck was I thinking. Anyway… I love you so much. I do. And I hope you’re not done with me because I really think I could do better.” Ali couldn’t even look at Ashlyn in the eye. Ashlyn smiled caressing her cheek forcing her to look at her.

“Alexandra, I could never be done with you. I love you, Kween.” Ali chuckled tearfully and leant to kiss her, Ashlyn kissing her back eagerly “We’ll talk about it all but no matter what, we’re in this together okay? No one’s leaving, no one’s divorcing, no one’s done. Deal?”

“Deal.” Alex smiled and kissed her again.

When it was all okay, Kyle and Chris set the garden table for lunch and they all sat there while the dogs playing with their ball, fighting for it, around them. They had a small swimming pool and sometimes the dogs would throw each other in there, so it was fun to watch.

“I have a match in Kansas City next week, will be out for a couple days” Ashlyn commented to Ali as they had lunch.

“Okay” Ali kissed her shoulder, enjoying her smell “hmm Kansas, long time no see.” Ashlyn smiled and nodded.

“Season just kicked off right?” Debbie asked. Ashlyn nodded.

“Yeah, and this year there are so many teams it lasts longer.” Ashlyn said. The NWSL had grown tremendously and now they had around twenty teams around all the states and it was covered by several very important TV companies. Ashlyn had also been captain for the last five years “Now without Alex Morgan I’m sweating cold, thank God we’ve got Crystal. That girl is pure fire out there.”

“She was already incredibly good years ago but after she played in England I swear she’s got me flipping” Kyle said enthusiastically.

“And you’ve got Rose Lavelle, which is a huge one” Alison added. She never had too much soccer knowledge until she joined the Harris family. She was also showing off a little baby bump now.

“Still want to retire after this year?” Ali asked Ashlyn, who shrugged.

“I want to at the same time I don’t want to but I know I shouldn’t because it would be a kick in the liver to leave Orlando without a more experienced keeper. Until we’ve got another one in the USWNT, I don’t know.” Ashlyn sighed “Plus, Alex just left. If I leave now, Tom will most likely have a heart attack.” Tammye chuckled.

“You can always wait a year or two, I don’t think is going to be exactly a reason to cry.” Tammye smiled at her daughter, who chuckled.

“That’s also right, I love playing too much.” Ashlyn recognized “Plus this little one is going to hold our trophy this year aren’t you?” she added putting the stupidest cheesy voice tickling Sophie, who sat on Tammye’s lap, and who laughed with the tickling. She had the most contagious laugh and got everyone to smile instantly.

“Mo-mo!” Sophie yelled suddenly between laughs, and Ashlyn’s eyes widened as her smile grew.

“Oh my God!” Ali felt her eyes tear up.

“I caught it!” Kyle yelled holding his phone “Sophie’s first words!”

“What were you saying baby?” Ashlyn asking pocking Sophie’s belly. Sophie chuckled and put Mr. Wilkins, Ashlyn’s favorite stuffed shark toy, into her mouth “Oh no don’t tell me she has decided to never speak again.” Sophie pulled her toy out of her mouth and kicked the air with her tiny feet, playing with a fork that was on the table.

“Mo-mo” Sophie whispered suddenly, more for herself than for anyone else.

“You want to go with mommy?” Tammye asked her. Sophie didn’t seem to hear her, as she was thinking, and then nodded while examining the fork cautiously. She was so much like Ashlyn sometimes like she would sit on her own and just do nothing but behave a bit like an autistic person, so much they had sometimes wondered if she was actually autistic, but the doctors had assured she was just a thoughtful kid. Tammye took Sophie up and Ali reached her arms to her, taking the baby in her arms. Sophie instantly got comfortable leaning against Ali’s body and playing with the buttons of her shirt. She was easy to keep entertained.

“This kid is an angel.” Ken smiled sitting next to his daughter, stroking Sophie’s light brown locks of hair.

“Yeah, and she’ll be one in just a couple months.” Ali smiled at Sophie “I think she’s tired.”

“Too much playing.” Kyle commented “So” he got serious looking at his sisters “when am I getting another one?”

“Another…?” Ashlyn asked confused.

“Well another niece or a nephew, obviously!” Kyle said. Brian laughed next to him and Ali looked at Ashlyn with a little smile, while Ashlyn looked surprised.

“But Soph isn’t even a year old! She’s still just a baby!” Ashlyn pointed to her daughter.

“Duh!” Kyle chuckled “Babies take 9 months plus the time until one of you gets pregnant, if you start now we may have number two by the time Soph is 2!”

“Well I’m sure as hell not getting pregnant anytime this year…” Ashlyn looked cautiously at Ali.

“I wouldn’t mind…” Ali said cautiously.

“Ali…” Ashlyn gave her a pleading look “I’m the first one who wants more but let’s just think about this in another time?”

“Ugh, Harris” Kyle jokingly rolled his eyes.

“Hey you could give me a niece or a nephew!” Ali playfully threw Kyle the cork of the wine and Kyle laughed.

“Soon sis, soon. I just got back from my honeymoon okay?” Ali rolled her eyes but chuckled.

Later in bed Ashlyn smiled feeling Ali move her arms to sneak between them and cuddle against Ashlyn’s chest.

“I love you Ash.” Ali whispered in the darkness of their bedroom.

“I love you more Alex.”


	19. Celebrate good times

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ten years together

When their anniversary came, Ashlyn made sure Sophie spent some nice holidays with grandma Tammye, Uncle Chris and Aunty Al at Satellite Beach for a weekend while Ashlyn took Ali to a spa to celebrate.

“Did you like the first gift?” Ashlyn asked after seven orgasms, lying naked on the bed while Ali recovered her breathing.

“Damn yeah.” Ali chuckled pressing her lips against Ashlyn’s “For ten more years together baby.”

“You know, I should give you another three orgasms, since we’re celebrating ten years.” Ashlyn suggested raising her eyebrows, but Ali laughed.

“Later, I can’t feel my legs. Let’s go walk around town!” Ali suggested getting up. Ashlyn rolled her eyes, but followed. They were excited to be at a small beach town they had never visited, outside Orlando, for a whole weekend and even though they had a tight schedule at the spa, they had a couple hours to just go around the town.

They walked through the beach holding hands and smiling at each other. They didn’t really have to talk much, it wasn’t necessary. At one point Ashlyn playfully started jumping the waves and Ali laughed seeing her kid of a wife.

“Hey!” Ali grabbed Ashlyn’s arms keeping her quiet again, hugging her arm “I was thinking… How are you doing?” Ashlyn looked surprised “I mean, with the whole depression and all…”

“Oh” Ashlyn shrugged “there are bad days and good days, you know. Today is a good day though.” She added smiling before giving her a peck “You?”

“Same, I think.” Ali shrugged “So I was thinking maybe if I got a job and had stuff to do outside being home all the time with Sophie, it’d be good for me. I mean, of course I love our daughter but at one point it drives me crazy that I spend most of the week at home with her and the dogs all alone. I miss interacting with adults and getting a fine check every month to make me feel like I deserve the things I’ve got.” Ashlyn nodded slowly, thoughtful.

“Okay, I’ve always supported you getting a job outside soccer Alex” Ashlyn kissed her cheek “whatever you choose I’ll support you. Have you already figured out what do you want to be?” Ali nodded and smiled excitedly.

“I thought about sports commentator but then I thought I’d get nostalgic and also my throat would suffer. I thought about sports broadcasting, but that’d have me traveling around the world again and far from my girls, which is not what I want. So I finally decided…” Ali made a pause for attention and Ashlyn chuckled “I’ll be a wedding planner!” Ashlyn laughed.

“God I saw it coming!” Ashlyn said laughing.

“It was so fun to help Kyle prepare his wedding and I just realize I really, really like that, making couples so happy, organizing stuff, putting out my public relationships face and helping love happen. It’s a wonderful job, I can do most of it from home and I don’t have to move anywhere. I’m actually just going to work for an event planning company and get to plan all kinds of events, which includes a handful of weddings and other fun events I’m also excited to try out!” Ashlyn grinned proudly at her.

“I couldn’t be happier for you sweetheart, I think you’re going to be the very best event planner there is.” Ashlyn cupped her face between her hands and kissed her straight in the lips, making Ali chuckle “So when are you starting?” she asked pulling apart.

“I’ve actually contacted the company ‘Diamond & Pearl Events’ that we used for our wedding and that’s located in Orlando, and they told me I can start on Monday by being the assistant of one of their planners for a couple months until they and myself feel ready to take the bull by its horns. As an assistant I’d get around 15% of the total outcome for each event.” Ali explained excitedly. Ashlyn’s eyes shinned with happiness for her wife, who seemed as excited as a kid in Christmas “Work from Mondays to Fridays from nine in the morning to three, as an assistant I have to be ghosting around my assigned planner constantly to learn every part of the process, but once I’m a planner I can do almost everything from home.”

“So great!” Ashlyn said excitedly “Alex, you’re gonna triumph girl high five!” Ali chuckled giving her the high five.

“We’ll have to sort things out with Sophie though… I won’t be home to prepare lunch and I won’t be able to take care of her until I’m back and you’ve got training several mornings per week…”

“Don’t worry about that, we’ll get a damn good nanny.” Ashlyn smiled at her “And I can feed myself just fine, don’t worry.”

“It’s going to be hard to separate from her though…” Ali bit her lip “She’ll miss me. And it’s going to be hard to trust a nanny…” Ashlyn squeezed her hand.

“Hey Alex, we’ll sort it all out, like we’ve always done.” Ashlyn calmed her down “But now, you have to focus and just enjoy your life babe. I’ve got this.”

“Thank you.” Ali smiled feeling so much gratitude towards Ashlyn and so much happiness, and leant to kiss her.

They walked around the beach for a while, buying some ice-cream later and then just spending the day around town until they headed for their next massage session. When they went back to Orlando after their trip, they felt refreshed and fuelled up, ready to tickle their baby girl to exhaustion. They drove all the way back to Satellite to pick Sophie up and then got her home.

“I missed you so much!” Ali made raspberries on Sophie’s belly while putting her to bed that night “You beautiful thing!”

“Mo-Mo!” Sophie giggled.

“Ash she’s gonna be the death of me look how cute she is!” Ali giggled.

“She’s the best princess there is.” Ashlyn smiled kindly down on their daughter before pressing a kiss on her forehead “Goodnight my love, I hope you have a lot of fun in your dreams!”

“Night night!” Ali kissed her too and they left the baby in her crib after tucking her in properly and going to their own bedroom.

“Alex, wait” Ali stood in the middle of their bedroom looking confused as Ashlyn frowned approaching her “I think…” Ashlyn took Ali’s shirt off and Ali raised her eyebrows in surprise seeing Ashlyn’s nose between her breasts.

“Ash?” Ashlyn looked up and grinned.

“I thought I saw some bug creep under your shirt, but I think we’re all good.” Ali rolled her eyes and chuckled playfully smacking her arm. Ashlyn smirked before pressing her lips against her cleavage, her arms firmly holding her around her waist and keeping her close. Ali smiled down at her seeing the love Ashlyn poured as she pressed a handful of kisses on her cleavage, between and on each boob, before taking Ali’s bra off.

Ashlyn then started a trail of kisses around Ali’s breasts, cupping them as she kissed them all the way until her lips closed around one nipple while her fingers gently pulled the other, earning a moan from Ali that only kept moaning as Ashlyn kept her administrations. Ashlyn stepped back to remove her own shirt and Ali’s eyes darkened seeing Ashlyn wasn’t wearing a bra. Ashlyn’s eyes were also darker as she stepped forward and passionately smooched Ali right on the lips.

As the kiss’ intensity grew, the couple became more passionate and impatient, pulling their remaining clothes away and stumbling until they fell on the king size bed, their mouths all over each other.

In the morning, they woke up being an entangled mess, and Sophie was crying. Ashlyn’s eyes blinked with the sun, fighting to stay open, and Ali ran out of their room and into Sophie. When Ashlyn felt more humane and awake, she made her way to their daughter’s bedroom too and found Ali giving Sophie a baby bottle while rocking her softly. Ashlyn’s lips curved into a warm smile instantly and she went to make them breakfast.

Since Ali had to get to her first day in her new job as an assistant-apprentice, Ashlyn decided to take the day free to spend with little Sophie and she took her to walk the dogs around the neighborhood. Ashlyn had the dog’s leads in each hand and Sophie was against her chest in her baby carry bag.

“Okay Sophie, let’s go again over your limited vocabulary alright?” Ashlyn chuckled kissing the girl’s forehead while keeping an eye on the dogs “Mo-mo!”

“Mo-mo!” Sophie yelled enthusiastic and seemed to look around for Ali.

“Mo-mo is at work love. Can you say that? Work?” The baby ignored her “Uhm… love? Okay, mo-mo!”

“Mo-mo!” Sophie kicked the air anxiously.

“Aw, you totally think she’s here don’t you? I’m sorry sweetheart, we’ll see her later in the afternoon. Mommy, we’ll see mommy in the afternoon. Can you say mommy?”

“Mo-mo…” Sophie whispered seeing her momma wasn’t around, with a disappointed tone.

“I see, you’re a stubborn Harris” Ashlyn smirked “okay… can you say Soph?”

“Of” Sophie drooled looking up at her mama and grinning so big Ashlyn had to laugh.

“Okay, ‘of’… we’ll work on that”.

Back at home Ashlyn sat with Sophie on the carpet of their living room holding a little book that had photographs of animals and other things with its name. Ashlyn also took their dogs.

“Alright Sophie, this is Satellite and this is Kriegs.” She said pointing to each “Can you say Satellite? Or Kriegs?” Sophie had been babbling around since she was three months old or so but she was always pretty quiet, and most noise he made that could be considered talking attempts happened either when she was very excited or very sad, when she’d go in a ramble of ‘brrr! Wawa!’ and others. But now, so close to her birthday, the mothers were heavily insisting in her talking actual words. Mo-mo counted, since they had seen Sophie understood Mo-mo meant Ali and used it properly.

However, Sophie’s cooked head and big eyes, opened wide, eyebrows raised and mouth slightly opened, told Ashlyn she was trying hard to understand her, but couldn’t talk. So instead, Sophie stroke her dogs making some intelligible babbling for each. Deciding to be patient, Ashlyn spent half an hour with Sophie showing her each photo of the book and repeating the name of the object a few times each. When Sophie seemed tired, Ashlyn tucked her in for a nap and went to cook some simple lunch for her and prepared some food for Sophie.

“Buuuh!” Ashlyn made noises with a cute voice so Sophie opened her mouth to the little spoon-plane “that’s my girl!” Sophie giggled “plane sausage 0011 from Orlando to Princess’ stomach ready to land miss, three… two…” Sophie gulped “And we’re in!” Sophie laughed at Ashlyn’s enthusiasm, making her laugh too “Okay, we’re done here little one. Want to take a nap with mama?”

“Mmm…!” Sophie jumped in her baby chair excitedly and Ashlyn chuckled taking her up and to her bedroom.

After a shark story, Sophie was sound asleep and Ashlyn was falling asleep too.

“I’ll close my eyes two seconds…” Ashlyn whispered leaning her head back against the armchair they had next to the crib.

“Ash… Ash…” Ali smiled seeing Ashlyn open her eyes. It was past five afternoon and Ali had just arrived home to find Ashlyn sleeping on the armchair and Sophie babbling to herself, sitting in her crib playing with some toys. Ali couldn’t help the giggle that escaped her lips seeing Ashlyn’s eyes open and frown in confusion “Hello sleeping beauty.”

“Haha, cheesy” Ashlyn chuckled and moved to kiss her. She motioned for her to sit on her lap and hugged her from behind “How was work?”

“It was fantastic” Ali threw her head back against Ashlyn’s shoulder, pressing her nose against her cheek “we’re planning this retirement party at the beach an hour away from here and it’s just so cool Ash, I really like my new job.”

“That’s best news ever!” Ashlyn chuckled pecking her lips.

“Mo-mo?” the mother looked at the interrogatory tone and found Sophie sitting on her crib looking at Ali with questioning eyes. Ali chuckled and went to pick her up.

“Hello baby Sophie” Ali kissed her cheek and she smiled.

“Mo-mo…” Sophie whispered putting her arms around Ali’s neck and snuggling closer.

“I love you Sophie.” Ali kissed her head and looked at Ashlyn, who smiled sweetly at them “Wanna take this one to the park?”

“Sure!” Ashlyn immediately got up and kissed Sophie’s back before she went to get ready.

There wasn’t a lot of people at the park at that hour, so the couple calmly went to the baby swings and settled Sophie there, taking turns to push her. Sophie loved the swings and would giggle and babble all along, making them laugh.

“You know what I’ve been thinking?” Ashlyn said leaning against the swing’s post contemplating Ali pushing Sophie.

“What?”

“I’m going to try to go less to Gregory.” Ashlyn said and, as Ali looked up at her surprised, she continued to explain “It may be just a stupid theory okay? But I think that maybe I’ve gotten so used to always have him to figure out my problems that I don’t even try to solve them myself. Like my brain isn’t trained to solve them that much by itself because it’s used to always having Gregory’s help, and I think by now I should’ve learnt enough from Gregory to be able to sort out things on my own. So instead of going once a week I’m going to start going once a month, see how it goes. Eventually I want to be capable to go once every couple months. Of course I think I should keep going even if it is that little, because chronic depression is chronic and is not like a cold that leaves you alone at some point, you just get better at managing it.”

Ali seemed thoughtful for a while in which she stayed in silence and then she nodded and looked up at Ashlyn with a little but honest smile.

“I’m so proud of you Ash.” Ali confessed, making her wife’s lips curve into a smile “That is very smart, just check how it goes and if you feel maybe once a month is too little you can always do like one every two weeks and progress from there. I love that you feel strong and capable to do that, it takes a village.”

“Yeah” Ashlyn nodded with a satisfied chuckle “I think if I manage that, is going to make me feel more capable and self-sufficient, less dependent on someone, you know? Which is great because Gregory is as mortal as we all and won’t be there forever. And when he isn’t, I want to make sure I’m able to keep going on my own, fly off the nest.”

“Well thought beautiful.” Ali smiled at her “I think that’s a very smart idea, and if Gregory had approved, then even better.” Ashlyn nodded with a satisfied expression.

“Okay now tell me all about that work, how does your boss smell like?” Ashlyn joked, making Ali laugh before she started rambling about her new, fancy job.


	20. Baby factory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashlyn and Ali fight Domestic Violence and Sophie is explained how babies are made.

“Mommy!” Sophie yelled as Ali jumped into the pool, where Ashlyn, Kyle, Chris, Alison and Brian were hanging out.

“Mommy is coming” Ashlyn kissed Sophie’s head sweetly as she held her in her arms. They were celebrating Sophie’s first birthday and the girl had been saying a few words here and there for the last couple weeks, right in time for her birthday.

“There you are” Ali smiled at Sophie getting her head out of the water and pinching her cheeks lovingly “are you having fun with mamma?”

“Yah” Sophie nodded.

“Come on Princess, time to play with Uncle Chris” Chris chuckled throwing Sophie to the air, which made her giggle, and picking her up before she sank in the water. Sophie loved the water and anything that involved water games.

“Mama!” Sophie yelled giggling.

“To the rescue!” Ashlyn laughed jumping on Chris’ back.

They were playing for a long while until they decided to get out and eat the cake Tammye had made using Ashlyn’s grandma Madeleine receipt.

“Do you like it Sophie?” Kyle asked Sophie as she grabbed a piece of cake with her hand and got it in her mouth while he held her wrapped in a towel.

“Yummy!” Sophie said loudly, making Kyle laugh.

“Let’s clean your hands and use a spoon little taco” Ken joked grabbing a napkin and helping his granddaughter eat. Ashlyn and Ali were enjoying a little break while their family took care of Sophie for a bit.

“Why you fat?” Sophie asked looking at Alison, who was eight months pregnant now. Alison laughed.

“Because I’m pregnant sweetie.” Alison explained to her niece kindly. Sophie frowned confused.

“Pegant?” Sophie asked.

“Pregnant, Sophie” Ali smiled at her daughter “that means there’s a baby inside of Aunt Alison’s belly.”

“Baby?” Sophie raised her eyebrows in surprise.

“Yeah, you’re having a boy cousin play with” Kyle whispered by Sophie’s ear like if he was telling her a secret.

“Okay” Sophie chuckled, not really understanding what was going on.

“This year is going to be such a baby year with so many children around” Servando commented pointing with his head to his wife Alex Morgan, who was in her second trimester.

“Can’t wait!” Ali said excitedly.

“Yeah, the only reason you haven’t gotten me pregnant yet is because you don’t have a penis…” Ashlyn murmured jokingly, making them laugh.

“It has been a great birthday right?” Ali commented while snuggling closer to Ashlyn in bed.

“Yeah” Ashlyn murmured with the eyes closed, exhausted. Ali smiled kissing her on the cheek before spooning her from behind.

“Sleep well stud.” Ali murmured in the darkness, the night falling over them. It felt like it had only been a couple hours when their doorbell rang, together with heavy banging on the door that woke Ali and Ashlyn up only to realize it was three in the morning “What the fuck?”

“Stay here, I’ll go.” Ashlyn said frowning and getting up, dressed in her pajama shark boxers and a loose t-shirt.

“In hell, I’m coming with you.” Ali jumped out of bed and quickly grabbed her dressing gown. She knew no one came at that time with good intentions, so she walked with Ashlyn downstairs and Ashlyn looked through the main door’s peep hole.

“What the hell happened to Tim?” Ashlyn asked before yanking the door open. The Harris’ house was between the Carrasco’s and Timothy and Danielle Edmonton’s house. Tim was a sales representative who had sold Ashlyn the house they had when Ashlyn first moved to Orlando, and Danielle was a police officer. The couple had two teenage girls that were in university in another state. Ashlyn opened the door to find Timothy sobbing, his lip bleeding and a cheekbone bruised. Ashlyn let him in and Ali immediately wrapped him up in a hug. Ashlyn locked the door behind him. “Tim, what’s wrong? Who did that to you?”

“Danny” Tim said sniffling while they went to the kitchen and Ashlyn handed Ali a napkin to keep Tim’s lip bleed in check.

“Danny?” Ali frowned confused “What?” Tim breathed deeply.

“Sounds ridiculous doesn’t it?” the man said with a bittersweet smile. Tim was in his mid forties and his family had become close with Ashlyn when she first moved in, helping her adapt to Orlando, and as years passed they had all become closer “I got beaten up by a woman and I didn’t know where to go because anywhere I go they’re going to say I hit her, but I never put a hand on her I swear! She’s a cop so I couldn’t go to the police or anywhere!” He sobbed out. Ali put her cheek on his shoulder and her arms around him as he held the napkin against his mouth and sobbed. Ashlyn handed him a glass of water and sat next to him with a concerned expression.

“It’s not ridiculous to be beaten up by a woman, Tim. It can happen, it’s just not the most common thing” Ashlyn shrugged “Tell us what happened?”

“She just came home from work, drunk.” Tim said when he was feeling calmer “She woke me up to have sex, but I wasn’t in the mood. She got really angry and started yelling and throwing stuff around, and then she hit me and insulted me. She left all pissed off and I came here. I didn’t know where else to go.”

“Okay” Ali got up to grab ice and put it against his cheek “you’re staying with us until this clears out. Was Danny hurt in any way when she left?”

“No.” Danny assured breathing deeply “I didn’t put a hand on her. She left still in her uniform, I think she was going to drink more.”

“I think we should call the police and tell them what’s going on, Tim.” Ashlyn said with a kind expression squeezing his hand.

“Ashlyn, I know how this looks like. If I call the police, I’ll end up arrested tonight.” Tim’s eyes filled up with tears again and he breathed deeply to collect himself “They’ll call me a girl. Danny will say she was just defending herself from me and will put me behind bars. But you guys have to believe me, I swear, I would never touch her. She tried to rape me and I was just… I never touched her!”

“We believe you Tim” Ali assured pressing her lips against his cheek.

“Yes, we do” Ashlyn nodded “look, what do you think if we make you a good mug of tea and you get settled in our guests’ room? You can stay with us for as long as you need and we’ll figure this out in the morning.”

“Really?” Tim seemed incredibly relieved and thankful.

“Of course” Ali smiled “go upstairs, I’ll take the mug to you and we’ll watch some TV for a little bit, how does that sound?”

“That sounds amazing, thank you.” Tim smiled grateful.

“But first…” Ashlyn took a close look to his face and touched the cheekbone again “Yup, this isn’t broken, just bruised. Some ice should relieve that, so keep it.” After years of injuries, Ashlyn had some experience “Do you have any idea of where Danny is?”

“At Berry’s” Tim said “she’s always there. But she’s angry, you shouldn’t go there.”

“I’ll go and witness that she isn’t injured, just in case she decides to fake an injury and blame you for it.” Ashlyn said “I’ll also witness that she’s drinking on the job and try to talk with her, see what I can figure out.”

“Be careful okay?” Ali kissed her.

“I will be.”

“Yeah” Tim nodded “and thank you so much, that’s a very smart idea. Just don’t let her touch you.”

“I won’t.” Ashlyn smiled confident and went to get dressed. She was back two hours later, when Tim had long ago fallen asleep and Ali was sitting in the living room half asleep, waking up when she heard the door open.

“Ash” Ali rubbed her eyes finding Ashlyn in the entry “how did it go?” Ashlyn gave her a peck on the lips.

“Danielle is alright, physically at least. She was completely wasted in a bar and uniformed, so I drove her home before she was arrested for drinking on the job” Ashlyn shrugged. Her eyes were half closed and her hair was still bed hair “She got really angry back at home, but I recorded her with my phone admitting she hit Tim because ‘he’s an ungrateful jackass’” she gestured quotation marks “and then she fell asleep. The house did look like people fought there.” Ashlyn shrugged.

“Okay, you’ve done a great service Agent Harris, now off to bed” Ashlyn chuckled and took her hand, following her upstairs.

In the morning, the three adults sat in the kitchen for breakfast while Sophie slept in a little longer. They had to come up with some solution for the situation Tim was living with his wife. It was all just overly complicated. They all knew law could be very strict if it was the man who hit the woman, and the first thing anyone thinks of then they think of domestic violence is a man hitting a woman, but when it’s the other way around it’s much more complicated. Firstly, no one would believe Tim. Secondly, people would mess around with Tim because ‘how is a _woman_ going to _hurt_ you?’ and thirdly, Danielle was a police officer. There was not one thing in favor of Tim, apart from what Ashlyn had found.

“I think the only thing you can do right now that we know won’t turn against you is just divorcing her Timmy” Ali said in frustration, she hated that Tim wouldn’t be able to get that woman behind bars for violence, but they all knew if they said she had hit him, it would be hard to believe. Danielle had her friends in the police too.

“I know” Tim shrugged “look… we’ve been married for so long, we have kids together… and this is the first time she hurts me. I love her.”

“Tim, no…” Ashlyn didn’t want him to get back in a house that couldn’t be called a home “don’t give her a chance to put a hand on you again…”

“But she won’t! I know she won’t. She’s obviously struggling with something, I need to go home and help her. She’s my wife Ashlyn, I can’t see her hurting and do nothing about it. She obviously didn’t mean this, she’s a good person.” Ali looked at Ashlyn with sad eyes, knowing that unbeknownst to Tim, they could really relate to that story.

Once Tim had left the house, Ali and Ashlyn both felt like there was too much in their minds. Ali couldn’t help but go back to the time Ashlyn had hurt her and how Ashlyn was struggling so hard and Ali couldn’t sue her, she had to forgive her and move on. And Ashlyn thought about that day, thinking what was the difference with their neighbors, what made her better than Danielle, a woman they had known for years, that was close to them and that they knew was a good person who was just struggling. But both Ali and Ashlyn had always had it clear in their minds that if one put the hand on the other, that was unforgivable. And yet, Ali forgave.

“What a messed-up situation isn’t it?” Ashlyn commented while giving Sophie her baby bottle, sitting by the kitchen island while Ali took everything from the dishwasher and put it in its place.

“Yes” Ali breathed out, nodding “poor Tim. He doesn’t deserve to be treated like that, he’s such a good man.”

“You’re right. I guess we can only be here for him if she ever hurts him again and just pray she never goes farther.” Ashlyn held the baby bottle against Sophie’s mouth as the kid sat on her lap with her head against her chest. Sophie had a square-ish face like Ashlyn, with chubby cheeks and dimples, Ashlyn’s same eyes, and brown curls that fell loose until they reached the lowest part of her ears. Her eyes were half closed as she was still pretty sleepy.

“Yeah, that’s the best we can do.” Ali sighed sitting by her girls and smiling adoringly at Sophie, stroking her cheek softly “If ever someone put a hand on our baby I swear…”

“I know” Ashlyn whispered “so you’re okay with him forgiving her right?”

“What? No, I think it’s a terrible idea. Don’t you?” Ali asked Ashlyn with a suspicious glance.

“Yeah I do, it’s the worst idea” Ashlyn shrugged “I was just wondering… well, I thought since you forgave me…”

“Wait a second” Ali looked at her puzzled “babe, you were aggressive with me when you were having a brain bleeding, you weren’t yourself. Plus, you never gave me a broken lip or a bruise. The situations are incredibly different, I still condemn domestic violence.” Ashlyn shrugged.

“So you’re saying I’m not like Danielle?” Ali smiled sympathetically crinkling her nose.

“Of course you’re not like her” Ali cupped her face between her hands, kissing her on the lips “although you do have one thing in common… the bravery. You would make a great cop.”

“You think so?” Ashlyn chuckled, leaning against her forehead. Ali nodded and kissed her again.

“Kiss kiss!” Sophie palmed their chins and the mothers pulled apart, smiling down at their baby girl before covering her in kisses too.

Ali had a few things to do at work so she left for a while and Ashlyn put the music channel in the TV while Sophie played on the floor with her toys and she dusted off a little. While doing this, Ashlyn found their photo albums covered in dust, and she sat down on the floor with them to clean them a little bit. Sophie, curious, crawled to her and sat on the floor in front of Ashlyn’s crossed legs.

“What da?” Sophie asked patting the books. Ashlyn chuckled.

“There are our photography albums, Sophie. A photography album is a book that instead of texts has photographs inside. Photographs of momma and I, our lives, our families and our friends.” Ashlyn explained with a tender voice. She opened the oldest one, which was of when Ali was a baby, and pointed to a photo of Kyle holding baby Ali, showing it to Sophie “See? This baby over here is your mama, and the little boy that is holding her is her big brother, Uncle Kyle, when they were little, like you.” She playfully pressed her index finger against Sophie’s belly. Sophie laughed and crawled closer, putting her face close to the photo.

“Momma pwettieh” Sophie opined.

“Yes, she was very pretty, just like you.” Ashlyn kissed her head and passed to another picture, where Ali was a little kid holding a soccer ball with Kyle, both smiling at the camera wearing old 90’s clothes. Ken stood behind them proudly.

“Mommy!” Sophie yelled enthusiastically. Ashlyn chuckled at her loud daughter.

“Yes, this is mommy and this is Uncle Kyle, and this is grandpa Ken, their dad. He was so young here right?” Sophie nodded and pointed to herself.

“Dad?”

“No, sweetie, your granddad.” Ashlyn explained.

“No dad?” Sophie pointed to herself, looking confused.

“You don’t have a dad.” Ashlyn explained, seeing Sophie frown “You see little Princess, some people have one dad and that’s it. Some have one mom and that’s it. And then others have two dads, or two moms, or a dad and a mom. Families can be so different sweetie, but no matter if someone only has a dad or only has a mom, or has two dads, two moms, or one of each, they are all families and they are all just as good. You don’t have a dad, but you have two moms instead, is that cool?” Sophie seemed to think for a moment and then smiled and nodded. Ashlyn chuckled “Look” Ashlyn passed pages of the albums until she found a photo of adult Ali next to adult Kyle, just a few years back, and they were with Ken, his wife, and his wife’s sons, plus Debbie and her husband “This is your momma, Alexandra. She has an older brother, who is your Uncle Kyle.” She went pointing to each person and stopping to make sure Sophie wouldn’t get too confused “They have a dad, your grandpa Ken, and a mom, your grandma Debbie. But then when they were older, your grandpa Ken and your grandma Debbie realized they didn’t feel the same for each other anymore, so they divorced, which means they weren’t married anymore and they stopped living together.” Ashlyn knew it was too complex for a one year old and she would have to explain their uncommon family multiple times with the years, but she figured the earliest she started the easier it would be the next time “Now, your grandpa Ken met Vicky. Vicky used to be married to one man, but she was divorced too in that moment, and had two sons, Tanner and Koty. Vicky and grandpa Ken became really good friends and ended up getting married. That’s how Vicky became momma and Uncle Kyle’s stepmom. A stepmom is a mother that appears when one of your parents gets married to a woman who isn’t your mother. And a stepdad is a dad that appears when one of your parents gets married to a man that isn’t your dad.” Ashlyn tried to explain, enjoying Sophie’s concentrated expression, a slight frown of being focus appearing in her face, her lips slightly parted and a finger in her mouth “And the children of a stepmom or a stepdad are the stepbrothers or stepsisters. So Tanner and Koty are momma and Uncle Kyle’s stepbrothers. Then… your grandma Debbie… she was in Miami, which is a big city close to where we live, and she met Michael. And they got married, so momma and Uncle Kyle got a stepdad. So momma has a dad, a mom, a stepdad and a stepmom. And you have two moms and that’s it. See?” Sophie looked at her very concentrated and nodded slowly, making Ashlyn chuckle.

“Where’s me?” Sophie asked patting the albums again. Ashlyn smiled and opened another album. The first picture showed a very pregnant Ali in the swimming pool with Ashlyn.

“Here you are” Ashlyn pointed to the belly and laughed at Sophie’s confused expression.

“No me, mama!”

“You were inside momma’s belly honey. Women’s are babies’ factories.” Sophie looked at Ashlyn and patted her abs.

“Baby?” Sophie asked looking up at her with her big eyes.

“No, I don’t have a baby in my belly sweetie.” Ashlyn explained “Women can control when and if they want to create a baby. Your momma wanted, so she got you. And I haven’t wanted for the moment because I already have you.” Sophie nodded. Ashlyn passed the pages until she found one of Ashlyn and Ali sitting on a hospital bed as Ali held baby Sophie “And this is you little after you were out of momma’s belly. The most beautiful baby I have ever seen.” Sophie grinned excitedly, and Ashlyn felt her stomach turn when she saw Sophie crinkle her nose just like Ali. Somehow Sophie had either learnt it or just had it too.

“And baby mama?” Sophie asked.

“Do you want to see me as a baby?” Ashlyn asked. Sophie nodded and Ashlyn grabbed another album, finding a picture of her with a few months old and Chris in the bathtub. Chris was holding her protectively and Ashlyn looked confused.

“Me!” Sophie said pointing at Ashlyn, who laughed and shook her head.

“No, baby girl, this isn’t you. That’s me. But you’re just like I was then.” Ashlyn explained, making her smile. And Ashlyn swore to herself, she only wanted to make her smile like that every single hour of her life.


	21. Shark week and dances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some cuteness ahead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, sorry for the lack of posting, my summer's hectic and I just got a wrist injury and using the computer has gotten a little tricky.

Eventually the photography albums were clean and back in their place and Sophie was back with her toys too. Then, Taylor Swift’s ‘Never grow up’ started playing and as she hummed along Ashlyn stopped cleaning and looked back at Sophie, who was babbling the voices of her toys.

 _Your little hands wrapped around my finger_  
And it's so quiet in the world tonight  
Your little eyelids flutter 'cause you're dreaming  
So I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light

 _To you, everything's funny_  
You got nothing to regret  
I'd give all I have, honey  
If you could stay like that

Ashlyn smiled walking to Sophie, who looked up to her and smiled.

“Hi” Ashlyn said “do you want to dance with mama?” Sophie nodded and Ashlyn threw her up in the air before sitting her against her hip and hugging her close, dancing around the living room.

 _I won't let nobody hurt you_  
Won't let no one break your heart  
No, no one will desert you  
Just try to never grow up, never grow up

 _You're in the car on the way to the movies_  
And you're mortified your mom's dropping you off  
At 14, there's just so much you can't do  
And you can't wait to move out someday and call your own shots

 _But don't make her drop you off around the block_  
Remember that she's getting older, too  
And don't lose the way that you dance around  
In your PJs getting ready for school

 _Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up_  
Just stay this little  
Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up  
It could stay this simple

 _No one's ever burned you_  
Nothing's ever left you scarred  
And even though you want to  
Just try to never grow up

 _Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room_  
Memorize what it sounded like when your dad gets home  
Remember the footsteps, remember the words said  
And all your little brother's favorite songs

_I just realized everything I have  
Is someday gonna be gone_

            Once the song was over Ashlyn pulled apart with teary eyes gulping down the knot she felt in her throat and smiling down at her daughter, who looked at her with curiosity. Ashlyn chuckled tickling her, making her laugh, and then sighed looking at Sophie.

            “Girl, don’t you grow too fast.” Ashlyn whispered kissing her on the forehead.

            “Come on, she still has a bit to go.” Ashlyn spun around and saw Ali was smiling at them standing by the living room’s entrance leaning against the wall.

            “How long have you been there?” Ashlyn asked.

            “Enough to see the end of that pretty dance.” Ali chuckled and walked to them so she could kiss her girls “What if you two get in the pool and I grab some snacks and join you?”

            “Sounds good.” Ashlyn smiled widely leaning against the kiss.

            That night, Sophie’s cries for ‘momma, mama!’ woke them up as Ali and Ashlyn were spooning in their bed. Ashlyn jumped out of bed.

            “Don’t worry, I’ll go” she told Ali before the long haired brunette could get up. Ashlyn was in Sophie’s room in seconds and found the little baby sitting up in her crib crying her eyes out in the darkness. Ashlyn turned the lights on, frowning at Sophie’s red face as she cried heavily “Hey baby girl it’s alright, mama’s here.” Ashlyn hurried to get Sophie up in her arms and sat with her on the armchair close by, letting Sophie snuggle into her. Sophie loved the feeling of Ashlyn’s big goalkeeper hands and arms around her, because it made her feel very protected, something Ashlyn had picked up on after Ali commented she too loved that of Ashlyn. So the woman tried to envelope the kid with her arms and head, making sure she felt safe again.

            Slowly but steadily Sophie calmed down and Ashlyn pulled apart just enough to look at her face and clean it with one hand. Ashlyn smiled sympathetically at the baby girl.

            “Zack you” Sophie murmured sleepily. Ashlyn chuckled.

“That’s what mama’s for, to be there whenever you need her.” Ashlyn kissed her forehead “Want to tell mama what had you so upset?”

“N’mar mostr” Sophie answered. Ashlyn nodded squeezing her harder between her arms.

“Dreams aren’t real Sophie. What’s in them, including the monsters, are only real in here” Ashlyn pressed a finger against Sophie’s head “in your imagination. Dreams, including nightmares, are just the way your brain tries to comprehend the things that happen during the day.” Ashlyn simplified.

“No mostr?” Sophie asked. Ashlyn smiled and shook her head.

“No monster.” Ashlyn confirmed “Momma and I would never let any monster come any close to you baby girl. You’re safe here, we’ve made sure of that. And since monsters only exist in your head, you want me to tell you what I do when I dream with monsters?”

“What?” Sophie asked.

“The moment I see them, I yell very hard ‘go, I don’t want you here!’” Ashlyn said “Can you do that baby?”

“Go, I won’t you here!” Sophie mispronounced, putting her best angry face. Ashlyn laughed.

“Good job. And if that doesn’t work, you call momma and I and if that doesn’t scare them away, at least we’ll be there in a moment to push them away.” Sophie nodded decided “Okay, high five?” Ashlyn asked raising her hand. Sophie chuckled and high fived her clumsily “Now, do you want to go to your bed or momma and mine’s bed?”

“My bed” Sophie said firmly. Ashlyn raised her eyebrows in surprise and smiled proudly.

“Wow, you’re so brave Sophie. Go kick those monster’s asses.” Ashlyn put her back in bed, tucked her in, and kissed her goodnight.

“Kick monstahss!” Ashlyn stayed with her until she fell asleep and then she turned the lights off and went back to her bedroom. Sophie didn’t use a little wall light because she usually fell asleep while her mothers were still there, if they didn’t put her in bed already asleep, so she had never had to confront fear of darkness yet. If she woke up during the night, the mothers would either bring her to their bedroom, or stay until she was sleeping again.

“All good?” Ali asked as Ashlyn put her arms around her and snuggled.

“Yeah… turns out we have a very brave girl who said she was going to kick the monster’s asses and went back to sleep in her own bed.” Ashlyn informed her. Ali grinned with her eyes closed.

“She had a very brave mama to learn from.” Ali murmured sleepily. Ashlyn grinned.

In the morning Ali and Alex took Sophie for some shopping for Alex’s baby and also for a baby shower Ali was organizing at her job, while Ashlyn was busy training with the Pride. The two women and the little girl took it as a girl’s day minus Ashlyn and went to the shopping centers around buying also clothes for themselves and Sophie. After their shopping, they sat down for an ice-cream, Ali helping Sophie eat.

“Sophie is so cute, I hope mine is too” Alex said stroking her belly.

“She will be for sure.” Ali smiled down at Alex’s belly “Have you guys thought of a name yet?”

“We’re thinking Josephine.” Alex answered. Ali grinned widely.

“That’s a beautiful name!”

“Yeah, I had my reservations at first but then… I kind of really like it. Plus, we can call her Josey, which is so cute!” The two friends shared their excitement.

“Can’t wait to meet her!”

“Right? Me too!”

“Hey so how is it going home?” Ali asked. Despite being neighbors, she hadn’t spoken with Alex in a while.

“Good, all good. Serv is excited about being a stay home dad and I’m excited about getting that coach job for that kid’s team we told you about.”

“Oh, yeah I remember.”

“So that’s been good, I’m just excited to see what Josey brings us.”

“A lot of poop.” Ali joked, and they both laughed loudly. Sophie looked up without understanding.

“Mama?” Sophie asked.

“Mama is working honey” Alex smiled at the little girl stroking her cheek.

“No! I want mama!” Sophie glared at Ali, who chuckled.

“Someone is reaching the Princess expectations” Alex joked.

“Yeah, she’s in the bossy stage let’s hope it lasts little.” Ali shrugged apologetically.

“We could go see Ashlyn though, maybe if we’re in the stands Sophie calms down.” Alex suggested.

“Really? You don’t mind?”

“Of course not, that way we can say hi to the girls!” Alex smiled excitedly.

The trio made their way to the stadium and were let in despite it being a closed training session, because they were ex players. They sat quietly in the closest row to the stadium in time to see Ashlyn make a great save.

“Mama!” Sophie screamed, and Ashlyn lost focus and looked around, grinning when she recognized Sophie and the girls. She said waved at them.

“Hi baby girl!” Ashlyn saluted before focusing back into the game. Sophie waved too and sat content on Ali’s lap. Ali and Alex smiled at the interaction.

“Hey now that I remember, Serv told me Ash told him Danny hit Tim?” Alex asked suddenly.

“Oh yeah” Ali sighed and shook her head “I saw Tim working on his garden on my way to you this morning and he told me she apologized when he came back and they’ve been pretty good ever since. She has turned into super caring wife and Tim looked pretty great.”

“You think it’s true?”

“It wouldn’t be too weird.” Ali shrugged “Poor Ashlyn remembered when she hit me a couple years ago and was worried I thought she would be in prison, but that’s fixed now.”

“Good.” Alex nodded “You guys don’t need more shit.”

“Yeah, but well, that’s life. You fall and you get up.” To prove her point, Ali pointed at Ashlyn, who was just getting up from the ground. Sophie was absentmindedly playing with Ali’s long hair, which she loved, and Ali chuckled hugging Sophie tightly.

Later at the house Ali was dancing with Sophie in the kitchen while cooking some dinner. In the meantime, Ashlyn was showering. Ali started making raspberries against Sophie’s cheek and the girl was laughing, making Ali smile.

“Do you like dancing with mommy?” Ali asked Sophie smiling from ear to ear and crinkling her nose. She was so happy her post partum depression passed so she could fully appreciate the joy of being a parent.

“Yes!” Sophie nodded and tried to make a raspberry against Ali’s cheek, making Ali laugh.

“What are my two loves up to?” Ashlyn arrived smirking, her hair falling wet and the pajamas already on her body.

“Mommy and I dans” Sophie said. Ashlyn chuckled and kissed her on the cheek and then Ali on the lips.

“Can I dance with mommy now a little bit?” Ashlyn asked Sophie tickling her belly. The kid laughed and nodded. Ashlyn gently took her from Ali and set her on the high chair. Ashlyn smiled pulling Ali close to her and Ali chuckled putting her arms around her neck and hiding her face against the crook of her neck. Ali loved a radio channel that always put music from the late 80’s to the early 2000’s, and in that moment Christina Perri was playing ‘A thousand years’, famous soundtrack that appeared in a movie and even got a second part later. What Christina Perri didn’t know is that years ago, when Ali and Ashlyn had broken up and Ali had left for Frankfurt, Ali was one night visiting some cousins in America and watching Twilight with them, and when that song sounded she thought of Ashlyn and traveled to see her and fix things. Ashlyn moved to Duisburg shortly after to be close to her again girlfriend. Many years had passed since then, but they both agreed if they had stayed broken up then, they probably would’ve never gotten together again.

They danced for a while and when they finished, they made out. Ali was squeezing Ashlyn’s ass as she kissed her passionately when the smell of burn made them pull apart and attend the food, that had started to burn.

“Saved by the nose.” Ali winked at Ashlyn.

After dinner the three sat on the sofa while Ali gave Sophie a baby bottle and Sophie ended up falling asleep on her. As Ashlyn and Ali were cuddled together and had caught the shark week on TV, they didn’t want to move.

“It’s okay we’ll put her in the crib later.” Ashlyn murmured kissing her on the cheek as she leant against her chest sitting on her lap with Sophie on her own lap wrapped up in a tiny blanket. Shortly after, a shark died in the TV and Ali noticed Ashlyn was discreetly sobbing.

“Babe…” Ali smiled looking up and kissing her cheek “it’s okay babe, it was a fast death, it didn’t suffer much…”

“O-one d-day y-you’re s-swimming c-calmly a-and t-the n-next… t-they f-fucking m-murder y-you!” Ashlyn sobbed out angrily.

“I know, the world is a bitch.” Ali said making sure Sophie was still asleep “At least it died that way and not slowly and super painfully.”

“I-it w-was c-cute!”

“I know…” Ali kissed her on the cheek again and reached for one of the hundred stuffed shark toys that were around the house, this one being on the sofa next to them, and gave it to Ashlyn “Here, why don’t you let Dumbledore comfort you?” Ashlyn sniffled and nodded holding the toy close to her chest.

“I-I’m n-never e-eating s-shark!”

“Of course baby, no sharks and no dolphins in our plates.” Ali assured snuggling with Sophie against her. Ashlyn calmed down and hugged her family. She was very sensitive despite her rough appearance.


	22. Car stops the other one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chan chan chan...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Thank you so much for your reviews. My wrist is doing better, and I am always thankful and blessed to get reviews and see what all of you think. If you wish to, I have a tumblr (https://thetrunkofthenighttraveler.tumblr.com/) where I often talk about my fics, or post content fandom related, if you want to check it or talk to me there, feel free!  
> Hugs!

One morning of August, the phone sounded in the middle of the night. Ashlyn and Ali, used to wake up for Sophie during the night, woke up immediately and frowned recognizing the phone, both of them knowing at that time of the night it couldn’t be good. With shaking hands and a knot in her throat, Ashlyn answered to her cell phone and sighed in relief shortly after.

“What?” Ashlyn was saying, grinning “Congrats guys! We’ll be there tomorrow okay? Congrats, much love to all of you!” Ashlyn hung up and looked at Ali smiling huge.

“What?” Ali asked intrigued.

“Alison delivered the baby!” Ashlyn yelled. Ali grinned. Ashlyn showed her a picture that just arrived to her phone of a little bundle of fat and dark hair “Little Jamie Michael Harris.”

“Aww he’s so cute!” Ali grinned at the baby “We’re going to meet him tomorrow?”

“Yeah!” Ashlyn grinned “My parents will be there too, it’ll be great.”

After their three days of visit, coming back to Orlando felt a bit like a bummer, and both had baby fever.

“Let’s have another one.” Ashlyn said simply as they put their things away in the house.

“But you’re still with the NWSL.” Ali said “I don’t mind getting pregnant but I thought you wanted to get pregnant for number two?”

“Yeah but” Ashlyn sighed “I want one like Jamie!”

“You have one, it’s called Sophie, you might know her?” Ali joked chuckling as they put their clothes out of the bags. Ashlyn chuckled.

“Okay now it’s not the time, I get it.” Ashlyn massaged Ali’s back with one big hand. Ali moaned in pleasure “But we will right?”

“Yeah, when the time is better.” Ali nodded kissing her on the cheek “Promise.”

“Good.” Ashlyn chuckled.

“Hey now that I remember, early in September I have scheduled a work trip, not too far is to Daytona Beach. Some clients want to get married there and we have to go see how it is and stuff, it’ll be only a week.”

“Okay” Ashlyn nodded “I’ll miss you, but you go girl, rock that wedding!” Ashlyn said supportive. Ali smiled at her sweetness.

“I know you’re busy with the NWSL since Orlando hasn’t gotten eliminated yet…”

“…and it won’t…”

“…so I called Kyle to see if he was up for spending a week here with you and Soph and help out, get some experience for when Brian and him go for it. Turns out Brian precisely has a business trip to Los Angeles right that week so that way Kyle won’t be lonely either. He’ll be here.”

“Awesome!” Ashlyn grinned. She loved her brother from another mister “That means blanket forts, batman boxers and movie marathon!” Ali laughed.

“I’m almost jealous.” Ali chuckled.

When September arrived the Pride was still in the NWSL, Ali had left and fun with Uncle Kyle had started.

“Where’s my little Princess?” Kyle was walking around the house as Ashlyn hid with Sophie, the three playing hide and seek in their underwear (that for the adults consisted in matching batman boxers and Ashlyn also wore a sports bra) “Aw, has my Princess left me? I’m gonna be sad!” Kyle pretended to cry, knowing what would happen.

“Here, Unka Ky!” Sophie yelled from behind a door where they were. Ashlyn rolled her eyes and smiled with the kid in her arms, getting out of the spot and going to Kyle who cracked up “Love you Unka Ky!” Sophie yelled reaching her arms towards Kyle, who hugged her close.

“I love you too my Princess.” Kyle kissed her. Ashlyn shook her head.

“Of course, you’re taking advantage at her inability to understand the game,,,” Ashlyn whispered with a chuckle. Kyle grinned and shooed with a hand gesture.

Kyle was making some healthy dinner with the help of Princess Sophie while Ashlyn, who had just walked the dogs, sat on the sofa with her NormaTec recovery system in her legs as she watched a soccer game in TV.

“Isn’t it weird that Sophie isn’t walking yet?” Kyle asked walking into the living room putting Sophie down in her play zone.

“No, the pediatrician said it could take a few months more. She’s crawling and sitting up, she goes at her own pace.” Ashlyn shrugged looking at Sophie “Hey Kyle if you need any help I can get out of these…”

“No, you sit there, those things are important.” Kyle smiled at his youngest sister, who smiled back, and went into the kitchen. Then Ashlyn’s cell rang, so Ashlyn took it.

“Ashlyn Harris, who is it?” Ashlyn asked having seen it was an unknown number “Hi, yes, she’s my wife why? Wait, what? Text me the location, I’m on my way.” Ashlyn hung up and started getting rid of the leg devices, getting up quickly and storming into the kitchen, pale “Kyle, can you take care of Sophie for the night?”

“Sure, why?” Kyle frowned looking at her “Where are you going?” Ashlyn sighed nervously.

“Okay there’s no easy way to say this so I’ll just say it.” Ashlyn breathed in “I got a call from the police. Apparently, Alex and her workmate were a bit far from Daytona Beach because the actual location of the wedding is in the woods and she was going back to Daytona to have dinner with her workmates when said mate noticed she was pretty late and not picking up the phone, so she worried, called the police and…” Ashlyn’s lip quivered “Kyle, they found Alex’s car got off the road at a curve and collided with a tree. They told me she’s in the hospital and it’s severe and I’m her emergency contact so I have to get there.” Kyle was frozen in piece, in shock. Ashlyn wanted nothing but to storm to her car, but she knew Kyle was in shock and she couldn’t leave him like that “You know what? Let’s put this on the fridge and you and Sophie come with me, she’ll be happy with her baby bottle.”

Half an hour later they were settled in the car, Ashlyn driving, and already out of Orlando. Kyle had slowly recovered and now just sat very serious and pale. He couldn’t stop thinking about when Ali was in University and almost died and he wasn’t there, he was glad Ashlyn had decided to bring him along. Kyle had already called Ken and Deb and they were on their way too. Ashlyn was trying to keep her shit together for her daughter and brother in law, even though she was panicking inside. She didn’t know how bad Ali was, just that it was bad. Was she even alive? They had told Sophie Ashlyn had some emergency business to attend far away and they were tagging along so she wasn’t lonely, but Ashlyn knew Sophie would get worried if she showed any worry, so like usual, she tried to sing in the car some child songs that Sophie would hum along until she fell asleep. By then, they were already almost in Daytona Beach.

“Kyle” Ashlyn said “I’m gonna leave you two at the hotel okay? Alex’s mate said she spoke to the receptionist and they know the situation and will give you Alex’s room key, you just have to tell them you’re her brother.” Kyle looked at her anxiously and Ashlyn sighed, reaching a hand to squeeze his thigh gently “Hey, it’s going to be okay. I need to go see her, I’m in charge of the decisions regarding her health now and I can only trust you our daughter. Please Kyle.” Kyle finally reacted and nodded.

“Yeah, don’t worry. I’ll change Sophie into her pajamas and I’ll tuck her in Alex’s bed and snuggle with her so she doesn’t roll off the bed, don’t worry about us, just make sure my sister is okay.” Kyle reached to get Sophie in his arms and kissed Ashlyn on her cheek “Give her a kiss from me.”

“I will, thank you Unka Ky.” Ashlyn smiled sadly at him seeing him leave after taking his and Sophie’s bags and she drove to the hospital.

The hospital was a tall, huge building downtown. It was surrounded by green zones and it had a huge fountain in the middle, but despite its nice looks, it gave Ashlyn chills. She hated hospitals and needles, and the smell of death in them. She breathed in deeply and walked to the receptionist.

“Excuse me” Ashlyn called the attention of the nurse “I’m Ashlyn Harris, my wife, Alexandra Harris, had a car accident and they told me on the phone she was here, but I don’t know anything else. Could you please help me find her?” She tried to be at her best behavior because even if she felt like throwing up and was anxious and exhausted, she knew those people worked their butts off and didn’t deserve she mistreating them.

“Sure” the nurse smiled kindly at her “let me see what the computer can tell us about her one second…” after a few minutes of looking at the screen, she nodded “your wife had an emergency surgery and just got out of it. According to this she should be in the twelfth floor, as you get out of the elevator you’ll see a nurses’ desk there, you can ask there where her doctor, Laura Robbins, is, she and your wife should both be there.” Ashlyn nodded.

“Thank you, goodnight.” Ashlyn jogged to the elevators and slipped into one right before the doors closed. She could feel her pounding heart in her chest as the elevator went up, and it felt like time had slowed down and each second turned an hour. The doors finally opened in the twelfth floor, which had beige walls, and she saw the nurses’ desk, to which she ran “Hi, I’m looking for a Doctor Laura Robbins? My wife was just admitted after a car accident and I guess she could inform me more?”

“That would be me” a doctor in her forties, brunette and with light blue eyes, had just arrived to the desk and smiled at her before offering her hand, that Ashlyn stretched “you must be Ms. Harris.”

“Yeah” Ashlyn nodded “where’s my wife, can I see her?”

“Your wife is out of surgery and we just made her comfortable in a bed. We’d normally have her down in the ICU, but we think due to her fame is better to have her in a more private space just in case.” Ashlyn nodded. The doctor smiled a bit and spoke softly and gently, which made Ashlyn feel better “She’s right here, if you follow me…”

They walked just a little bit into the corridor next to the desk and there was a door and next to it a big window with the blinds up, showing a small room with a bed slightly propped up and Ali was lying there in her hospital gown, with the sheets to her waist and cables injected into her arms, cables coming out of the neck of the gown, and an oxygen tube below Ali’s nostrils. She looked pale and asleep and the sight made Ashlyn’s eyes glassy and she put a hand to cover her mouth.

“Could you please” Ashlyn didn’t look at the doctor “just go straight to this and speak to me in humane so I know what’s happening? I’m too tired for medical language right now.” Ashlyn whispered. The doctor nodded.

“Basically, there was too much humidity and it made the road wet enough for Ms. Harris’ car to unexpectedly slid when she was going down a curve downhill, which made the car get off the road, crash against the traffic barrier, pass through it, spin and finally collide side against a tree. As a result of the hit, Ms. Harris’ body was propelled forward and her seatbelt and the airbag both protected her pretty good preventing a big damage, but her head bounced against the glass and she got a small concussion from it, nothing big” the doctor started explaining “her left arm is in a cast, as you can see, due to a dislocated shoulder that should heal well, what needed surgery and what worries us the most is that in the accident her spine suffered some damage and we’ve done our best to try fix it as much as possible but at this moment she feels but she can’t move her legs or feet at all.” Ashlyn’s eyes widened and she turned to the doctor, who looked apologetically “There’s a 60% chance with physiotherapy and stuff she is capable to recover the mobility, even fully mobility, after all she’s an athlete and her body is pretty strong and in good shape, but it’s only a 60%.”

“Okay” Ashlyn nodded “we’ll take that. So that was the really bad news right?”

“Yeah, she looked really bad when we first called you because the window broke and the class cut her face and arms, all superficial cuts but they were bleeding a lot so it looked worse, but now after surgery and after having looked properly at her and done all the tests… that’d be it.” The doctor shrugged “Apart from that, neck discomfort is quite expected, her muscles in the back will probably hurt for a few days and the whole deltoid zone mostly. Nothing a massage and the physiotherapist can’t relieve.”

“Can I stay with her tonight?”

“Sure” the doctor searched in her pocket and got a card that had a clip “put this in your shirt, it indicates that you’re not just a visitor but that you’re a 24h one. There’s only one for patient. She’s only allowed one visitor at a time for now, so you’ll have to take turns if someone else comes to see her.” Ashlyn nodded and took the card. It was a red one with a white 24h written on it, and Ashlyn put it in her shirt and entered the room, being instantly welcomed with the sound of Ali’s vitals.

Ashlyn saw there was a little chair next to the bed and she sat there. She looked anxiously at Ali and carefully covered her hand with her own, stroking it gently.

“Alex, babe” Ashlyn leant over her and pressed her lips against her cheek “this is from Kyle” she gave her a peck “and this is from me.” She breathed deeply “You look… well I don’t really fancy this style, weird election of pajamas baby.” Ashlyn commented, using her dark humor as a coping mechanism as always “But you’re still the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen, if it serves as any consolation.” Ashlyn sighed feeling her eyes damp and she closed them, letting her head fall on the pillow next to Ali’s head “I love you so much” Ashlyn’s voice was now broken “and… I’m not going anywhere without you. I promise.”

Knowing the exhaustion of the day would soon send her to sleep, she called Kyle quickly to let him know it wasn’t nearly as bad as they imagined so he could try to sleep, and then her eyes fell closed. When they opened, the room was illumined with sunlight and the first thing she noticed when her eyes got used to the light, was Ali’s eyes looking straight at her, a soft smile adorning her slightly cut face and her hand, that Ashlyn had been holding, was now softly caressing Ashlyn’s cheek. Ali’s smile widened when she saw Ashlyn’s eyes open and Ashlyn grinned.

“I’ve never been happier to see that smile.” Ashlyn hoarsely whispered.

“I love you.” Ali whispered.

“I love you too.” Ashlyn kissed her on the lips “How are you feeling?”

“I barely remember flashes of it but” Ali started, her voice sounding raspy and low “now my neck hurts and my shoulders hurt, but it’s a bit better if I make sure to keep my arm real quiet… and I can’t move my legs. The doc already explained it to me.” Ashlyn nodded.

“We’ll get them to move again, you’ll see. Although if Sophie chooses this moment to start running around you’ll be the only one able to keep up with her.” Ashlyn joked, making Ali chuckle “You’re always going to be the fastest, even in a wheelchair.”

“It’s okay” Ali shrugged “At least I have feeling there and I am alive, I’m lucky.”

“You are.” Ashlyn kissed her shoulder. Only then, she saw Debbie was sitting in another chair they must’ve brought, in front of her. Ashlyn was so obsessed with Ali she hadn’t noticed her mother in law smiling down at her, and Kyle was standing next to her leaning against the wall. She forgot all greetings “Where the hell is our daughter?!” Ashlyn yelled suddenly. Kyle laughed.

“Relax, my father in law is walking her around the city.” Kyle explained. Ashlyn breathed out in relief.

“Okay” Ashlyn nodded “hi Deb, how is it going?” Debbie laughed at Ashlyn’s antics.

“I’m good sweetheart, hey why don’t you go get something for breakfast? The Queen already had hers.” Debbie said in a motherly tone. Ashlyn shrugged.

“I’m good, not hungry yet. By the way guys, how come you’re here? Doc told me only one visitor at a time.”

“Doctor said two more would be fine, since Ali was already awake when we came and she wanted to see us.” Kyle shrugged.

“Do you know if they could move me to a hospital in Orlando? I’d like to be as close to home as possible.” Ali whispered to Ashlyn.

“I’ll ask babe but given the circumstances with your spine damage, I doubt they’d want to risk it.” Ashlyn leant to press her lips against her forehead softly “I’ll go ask, wait a moment.”

Ashlyn got up and left the room, stirring in the corridor as she went to look for Doctor Robbins. In the meantime, Kyle and Debbie stayed with Ali.

“Have you slept well?” Kyle asked sitting on the feet of the bed.

“Yeah well, I’m tired. The painkillers leave me drowsy.” Ali chuckled slightly, not wanting to worry anybody “How’s my baby girl?”

“She’s okay, we had a lot of fun and now she thinks we’re on holiday, Mike took her to the beach.” Kyle winked.

“You guys need to take care of Sophie and Ash for me okay?” Ali said “I can’t even move and Ashlyn is going to try like crazy to be hundred percent for both of us at the same time and is crazy, and she still has to eat and sleep properly.”

“Don’t worry, we’re on it.” Debbie assured her.

They made small talk for a while until Ashlyn came back.

“Doc was a bit busy and said she’ll come later” Ashlyn said as she walked towards Ali “but she did say that maybe you can go home in a couple days or so. And when she said home she meant our house, not another hospital.” Ali smiled right away and Ashlyn chuckled leaning to kiss her again before sitting down again.

“But how are you going to manage at the house?” Debbie questioned “Alex will be in a wheelchair and your bedroom is upstairs.”

“Our sofa-bed is pretty comfortable mom.” Ali answered.

“You’re not going to sleep in a sofa-bed Alex, you got surgery in your spine!” Debbie gave her a reprimanding look.

“Mom, I’ll be fine, we’ve slept there a few times and it’s not going to be worse than a hospital bed...” Ali insisted. She wanted to make sure Ashlyn’s life was as uncomplicated as possible.

“I can carry you upstairs, there’s no problem.” Ashlyn shrugged as if it was obvious.

“Baby you don’t have…” Ali started.

“I know, but I want to” Ashlyn interrupted, smiling a little “babe, I’m an athlete, I literally spend more ours in the gym per week than eating. I’ve carried you a thousand times you’re a light weight. Plus, it’ll be like when we got married, carrying my Queen up and down bride style.” She added with a wink. Ali laughed a little.

“Okay, thank you.”

There was a knock in the door and a nurse entered followed by what looked like another doctor. The nurse smiled at them.

“How is it going over here?” the nurse asked kindly.

“We’re good, thanks.” Ali smiled weakly.

“Awesome” the doctor chuckled “Ms. Harris this is Fred Graham, he’ll be your physical therapist to help you with your recovery and also try to bring those legs back to moving.”

“Hello” Fred shook Ali’s hand “and you must be her wife” he added, shaking Ashlyn’s hand too with a smile.

“Ashlyn” Ashlyn nodded and stood up looking at him “nice to meet you.”

“Same.” Fred chuckled “I’ve come from Orlando since you guys live there and it is recommended not to change physiotherapists once the treatment has started. I thought since Orlando is pretty close I could come and start as soon as possible since the more time passes the lower the chances of recovering leg movement are.” Fred explaining “So Ms. Harris” he looked at Ali “if you’d like we could begin right now with a brief one hour introductory session?”

Ali’s eyebrows raised in surprise.

“Yeah, sure!” Ali smiled.

“Great, we’ll stay here but I’m gonna need you to leave during the session.” Fred added sympathetically looking at Ashlyn, Debbie and Kyle.

“Shouldn’t I stay and learn how to help for when we’re home?” Ashlyn asked.

“That will be necessary at a certain point, but I’d rather wait a little bit until your wife is more comfortable with the physiotherapy.” Fred explained.

“Okay…” Ashlyn looked at Ali, who nodded in reassurance “Call me if you need anything okay? Your phone is in the first drawer” she pointed to the bedside table “I’ll be down in the cafeteria.”

“Perfect, don’t worry.” Ali smiled receiving Ashlyn’s kiss on the lips “I love you.”

“I love you too Alex.” Ashlyn smiled and looked at Fred “You take good care of my lady Mr. Graham.”

“Please, just call me Fred.” Fred laughed “Don’t worry, she’s in very good hands.” Ashlyn nodded and waved briefly at Ali before leaving the room behind Debbie and Kyle.


	23. Standing solo

“I’m going!” Ali wheeled down the corridor with Sophie sitting in her lap held by the carrier bag and Kyle pushing her chair, since she had an arm in a cast. It was her second day in Orlando and some of the USWNT that had at some played with Ali and Ashlyn and that were retired or that played in Orlando had decided to have a couple weeks of holiday in Orlando to visit Ali the second they found out about her, so they could also help Ashlyn at home. They were all sisters and they had been very worried, plus, they decided since they all barely saw each other anymore they would take the chance to do stuff together, have fun and catch up without their partners, that had been left at home to take care of the kids and work their own jobs. The girls almost all had stable jobs, but none a job that required them being in an office every day like some of their husbands did. Some wrote books, some were personal trainers, some were coaches, some were stay home moms, some wrote articles about matches or commented the matches, and some played for the Orlando Pride. Kyle was staying with them until his hubby was back.

As Ali opened the door, their friends came in greeting her enthusiastically. There was Abby Wambach, Heather O’Reilly, Megan Rapinoe and Allie Long, all retired; Tobin Heath, who played for the Portland Thorns; Kelley O’Hara, who played for Sky Blue; Meghan Klingenberg, who played for the Portland Thorns; Alyssa Naeher, who played for the Chicago Red Stars; and Morgan Brian, who played for the Houston Dash.

“Let’s go Kriegs!” Tobin took Ali’s wheelchair and wheeled her to the back garden, where they settled with some drinks Ali had prepared. Abby was already jumping Sophie and Ana, Allie’s one year old child, up and down and playing with the dogs, that were flipping seeing how many people.

“I’m so happy to see you all, it’s been so long!” Ali said happily smiling.

“Well, now she’s calling you old.” Kyle joked, making them laugh.

“Wow, it has been a while.” Heather smiled.

“Hey where are the Pride girls? Too much pride to appear?” Alyssa joked, getting some laughs.

“They’re at training, will be here in an hour or so.” Ali explained “It took me three hours to convince Ashlyn she could go so now I’m not rushing.” She chuckled.

“Aw, that woman is so whipped for you.” Pinoe chuckled.

“Well, that woman is the most overprotective thing in the world, and yeah she’s also whipped.” Ali laughed “Are you having fun with your Aunties honey?” Ali added looking at Sophie, who ignored her as she played with Ana and Abby sat with them in the table. They were at the back garden’s porch near their swimming pool watching the kids play in the sandbox while the dogs kept an eye on them “I think Ash’s training the dogs to watch over Sophie because they barely leave her alone.” She commented.

“Maybe they just like babies.” Morgan shrugged.

“So anyway, how’re you doing?” Allie asked concerned.

“I’m okay, there are bad times and good times but I’m mostly good. It’s just a bummer not to be able to exercise at all, my body is so used to exercise it resents me even more.” Ali sighed and shrugged “But well, I’m alive, I’m lucky enough.”

“Yeah, you fucking scared the shit out of us.” Kyle commented.

“Now that I think about it why didn’t you stay here with Sophie? It was pretty late.” Ali asked her brother.

“Ash ordered me to get in the car with Sophie, basically. I was panicking and I think she was worried about me and figured it would be the best decision.” Kyle replied.

“Aww, my poor boy.” Ali kissed his cheek putting an arm around his neck.

“Nanny Kyle” Meghan playfully elbowed Kyle “how’s that husband, by the way?”

“Apart from super hot you mean?” Kyle joked, making them laugh “Brian’s fine, he’s in a work trip. He’s so sweet he calls me like every four hours to ask how is it going over here. He even wanted to come when he heard about Ali but I told him it’s okay.”

“Yeah, Ashlyn might have a heart attack if there comes another person to maintain at his house.” Ali joked.

“Isn’t the Pride playing against Seattle on Wednesday?” Pinoe asked.

“Yes” Ali nodded “here fortunately. But they’re traveling for a couple days to play against Western New York Flash on the weekend, which means you guys will get to help me convince my wife to go have fun.”

“Aw, it’s like when leaving kids in kindergarten.” Heather giggled.

“Guys I swear I can’t even go to the bathroom without her asking me every three minutes if all is good.” Ali asked.

“Told her to back off.” Tobin said simply.

“I did. Kyle did. My mother did.” Ali sighed “She just insists that is her duty to make sure I’m all good even if it takes being too much sometimes. And I don’t have the heart to get pissed, she’s too good.”

“God, you’re whipped Queen.” Kyle laughed.

They sat there making small talk for a while until the Orlando Pride girls arrived. Whitney Engen, Sydney Leroux, Crystal Dunn and Rose Lavelle all played for it. Whitney had been thinking about retiring when Ali had retired and then Ashlyn had begged her friend to play her last years with her in the Pride, as they needed a new and good defender. So Whitney acceded and the move was complete. Now Whitney lived five houses down the road and the best friends and Taar Heels couldn’t be happier.

“Mama stik!” Sophie said putting a hand over her face as Ashlyn carried her against her hip. The adults laughed at her antics.

“I know sweetheart, I’ll shower right now.” Ashlyn kissed her on the cheek before handing her to Uncle Kyle.

“Why didn’t you shower in the stadium? The car must be smelling like shit.” Ali chuckled.

“I couldn’t wait to be here, it’s like Christmas!” Ashlyn grinned “I’ll be back in a moment.” And she went to shower.

“She was just worried about me am I right?” Ali whispered to Whitney, who nodded.

“Pretty anxious yep.” Whitney bit her lip looking apologetic.

Ashlyn showered quickly and stood up in front of the mirror as she brushed her wet hair back. It looked now a lot like Pinoe or Meghan had it, but Ashlyn usually wore it in a sexier fashion. She put her favorite earrings on and contemplated herself in the mirror for a moment. Her muscular arms were completely tattooed, her marked abs were slightly covered with her side tattoo, and she had two almost complete leg tattoo sleeves. She was happy to be looking so good at her age, but still liked to take a look from time to time to make sure there was nothing weird to worry about, like chest tumors. She also kept her eyes on Ali’s body a lot, both for pleasure and for concern.

She quickly threw on some shorts and a short sleeved t-shirt, put back on her watch and her usual bracelets, along with her wedding band, that she removed for training, and then was ready to go downstairs.

“Hi you!” Ashlyn smiled at Kriegs, who was sitting on the top of the stairs licking his bum “Enjoying a good bath uhm?” Ashlyn chuckled at the dog and jogged downstairs, happy to hear the murmur coming from downstairs. Since the weather was so sunny and good and they were so many, they had set a big table in the garden to have lunch in, and Ashlyn had also made sure the pool was ready in case anyone wanted to bathe. Sometimes Ali bathed with Ashlyn’s help, and they did some pool exercises. The girls and Kyle were already setting the table and Ashlyn helped them carry everything and took the food to the table. She was happy to see Ali laughing at something sitting in her wheelchair by the table “You’re so gorgeous.” Ashlyn commented leaning to kiss Ali on the lips. Ali smiled against her lips returning the kiss, that soon became a smooching session until they pulled apart to breathe. Ali bit her lip, her eyes darkening as her hand caressed the back of Ashlyn’s hair.

“You’re particularly fuckable when you’re wet.” Ashlyn chuckled.

“Being your wife is a miracle I don’t have to change my underwear every hour.” Ashlyn whispered.

They were enjoying a nice lunch and catching up, gossiping a little. It was a nice time since it really had been many months since the last time so many of them got together and there was a lot of catching up to do, many untold stories and many laughs to share. While little Ana was being fed, Sophie was sitting in the garden playing with her toys.

“Ana is walking already?” Ali asked surprised to Allie as she saw the baby stand on her feet for a moment while Allie got her mush ready and then took her back on her lap.

“Sure, started a bit before her birthday.” Allie curved her lips into a tiny smile.

“Our Sophie isn’t walking yet. And we’ve tried but seems talking is going to be the only accomplishment this year…” Ali frowned a little looking at Sophie “Baby, remember not to get too close to the pool!”

“Yup!” Sophie smiled at her mother before turning her attention to her toys again.

“Hey no pressure, she’ll learn when she’s ready.” Ashlyn shrugged. She was completely chill about that “Plus, the longer she takes, the more time we’ll be able to breathe without thinking of the things a walking baby can reach to hurt herself.”

“Yeah but what if there’s something wrong with her?” Ali was the worried parent.

“Nothing’s wrong with her babe, you heard the doctor.” Ashlyn said reassuringly.

“Maybe she knows how to walk but she doesn’t show it so she can be carried around more.” Whitney suggested.

“That’d be crazy, would such a cute thing manipulate like that?” Crystal wondered out loud.

“Oh, she would” Kyle chuckled “she already does with her crocodile tears to get Ashlyn’s attention.”

“She doesn’t do that” Ashlyn frowned.

“Oh you noticed too?” Ali smiled at Kyle “I so knew it!”

“Right? She’s so obvious.” Kyle laughed.

“Stop it, she doesn’t do that.” Ashlyn rolled her eyes.

“She completely does, every single time she feels you’re not paying enough attention to her, she fakes it. She even tries with Ali, but she’s the Queen she invented that game.” Kyle explained. Ali laughed and nodded.

“No, she cries because she miss us or needs a cuddle.” Ashlyn insisted.

“Babe, seriously” Ali shrugged “it’s true. The Princess has you wrapped around her tiny fingers.”

“How do you know when it’s fake cry?” Ashlyn asked.

“Well, it’s exaggerated, has no explanation, stops abruptly when you carry her, and doesn’t have tears but very sharp noises.” Ali explained. Kyle nodded in confirmation.

“Aw, how lovely the little one is an expert manipulator” Abby laughed. As if on cue, Sophie started crying. Ali raised her hand to keep Ashlyn from standing up.

“Wait, you’ll see.” Ali said calmly “She’s doing it.”

“What? No, I’m not letting my baby cry for some absurd experiment…” Ashlyn frowned, getting up. She walked to Sophie and scooped her up in her arms. The cries were cut off immediately and Sophie smiled against Ashlyn’s neck. Noticing it, Ashlyn frowned more looking at the baby and then back at Ali “Oh s…”

“Shoe.” Ali finished for her smirking, making the girls laugh.

“Genie.” Rose smiled at the baby.

“Soph honey, are you okay?” Ashlyn asked Sophie, who nodded “Okay then back to playing so I can have lunch okay baby?” Ashlyn kissed her and left her back on the floor. The moment she did it and turned around, Sophie’s cries begun again.

“Mommy!” Sophie yelled.

“Ops that’s me.” Ali reached her hands towards her and Ashlyn gave her the baby, that sat contently on her lap.

Later in the afternoon, some of the adults were hanging in the pool with the toddlers. Ali really wanted to jump in the pool too, but looking at her legs resting lifelessly on the backyard sofa Ashlyn had accommodated her on was enough to remind her it wasn’t a possibility. She missed using her legs so much. Walking, pocking Ashlyn with her toes in the bed, running, jumping, rubbing her feet against Kyle’s face when they were on the sofa and Kyle put a channel on TV that she didn’t like, sitting on the floor with Sophie… it was just too much.

Kyle was in the water with Sophie, whose heart was in the water as much as Ashlyn’s, and Ashlyn sat with Ali drinking a beer and stroking her thigh gently. It was weird for Ali, because she felt Ashlyn’s hand, maybe not with the same intensity as before, but she felt it, and wasn’t capable of getting her legs to move, which was the strangest feeling.

“How’s the physiotherapy going?” Allie asked, sitting next to them.

“My back and neck don’t hurt anymore, and my shoulder isn’t okay yet but it feels a bit better at least” Ali answered “before it was terrible. But my legs aren’t moving. I have weak feeling and then nothing else. I can’t even get my toes to move.” Ashlyn looked at Ali with seriousness and then moved her hand to squeeze Ali’s hand.

“They’ll move eventually. You heard the PT, you’re an athlete, your odds are very good.” Ashlyn assured her.

“Yes but what if they don’t Ash?” Ali shrugged “I know you don’t want to even think about it and believe me, me neither, but we have to start doing so. If I can’t move them ever again, I still need to feel useful, to be independent, to be capable and don’t feel so vulnerable all the time. Which means you can’t always be lifting me here or there or helping me get comfy in bed or go to the bathroom, or cook. I need to be able to do things on my own and for that we’re going to need to adapt the house and maybe I could get a special car and learn how to drive all over again with my disability. We could move our bedroom downstairs, and have at least one bathroom set up for me with bars and stuff.” Ashlyn bit her lip and nodded looking back at Sophie, who giggled in Kyle’s arms, shaking her tiny arms with the shark floats up and down “You need to start accepting my disability might be permanent Ash, just like me.”

“It’s not a matter of acceptance, Alex” Ashlyn looked back at her and sighed in frustration “I know you’re disabled and I know there is a chance it’s forever. But thinking of start constructions in the house to have it adapted, thinking of having to start a serious process of permanent life readapting and all… it just feels like we’re giving up. Like this is it, we’re throwing the towel, you know?” Ali shrugged.

“At some point, we’re going to have to give up and stop dreaming with this situation changing. I’ll keep on with my PT regardless, but we just will have to stop seeing this as a temporary thing. I say, if the NWSL ends and I’m still not feeling any improving at all… then I want the house adapted by Christmas.”

“Okay.” Ashlyn nodded “But until then, no one’s quitting.”

“Talking about quitting” Tobin had gotten out of the pool and approached them wrapped in a towel, getting a beer from the tiny portable fridge and sitting with them, rubbing Ashlyn’s hair playfully “aren’t you getting too old?” Tobin joked, laughing. Ashlyn tickled her away, chuckling.

“Hey I’m not 37 yet, and I’m going to keep playing until I’m forty” Ashlyn said, in a tone that didn’t make clear if she was kidding or not. Tobin chuckled.

“You’re going to be the next Hope Solo keeping your position so long no other goalkeeper can aspire to get there.” Whitney, who also sat close by, joked around. Obviously they were all good friends of Hope.

“Yeah, exactly. I actually called her to ask for advice on how to do that” Ashlyn joked making them laugh.

“I’m glad there’s still going to be a Harris running up and down the field.” Ali smiled kissing Ashlyn on the cheek.

“Ashlyn running? When?” Pinoe joked, getting them to laugh more.

“Don’t be rude Pinoe” Heather seemed serious “bet you she’s faster than any of us if there’s a naked Ali out there!” she ended up joking, eliciting more laughs from the old teammates.

“Hey Harris!” Kyle yelled from the pool “Sophie wants out!” he held the girl up. Ashlyn wore a faint smile from the laughs as she walked to the pool and grabbed Sophie, wrapping her up in a sharks towel and hugging her close as she caringly rubbed her hair with the towel, making sure she was dry. It was a sunny day but she wasn’t taking risks with her baby.

Ashlyn smiled kissing her head lovingly.

“There you go my little taco. Did you have fun with Uncle Kyle?” Sophie hummed and nodded. Ashlyn noticed then that Sophie was softly kicking her belly, wiggling her legs back and forth “Hey baby, we’re going to try something okay? Do you want to stand up?” Sophie looked up confused at her mother, not understanding the situation, and Ashlyn removed the towel. Sophie was wearing bathing diapers with of course, sharks, and Ashlyn grabbed her from her sides and lifted her up in the air, making Sophie giggle. Then, Ashlyn got on her knees on the grass and brought her down until her tiny feet rubbed against the grass, that tickled her feet, and made her wiggle her legs more “The grass is ticklish uh?” Ashlyn chuckled at her baby, who giggled.

Slowly but steadily, Ashlyn set Sophie on the grass, her tiny feet firmly planted on the grass. Ashlyn was still holding her, but she could feel she was no longer supporting the baby, but reassuring her. Ashlyn slowly removed her hands, to what Sophie looked anxiously at her, and moved her hands towards her mother, making an anxious little noise that Ashlyn took as a clue to hold her hands firmly.

“Don’t worry Princess, I’m never letting you go. Not until you’re ready, okay?” Ashlyn kissed her head and looked at Ali. Ali had leant forward towards them and was grinning at Sophie, who stood up on her own finally. Everyone looked at the girl and Kyle had quickly gotten out of the pool and grabbed his camera -that was always close to him- taking pics or videos.


	24. First steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just cuteness

**Chapter 24:**

Ashlyn stood behind Sophie leaning forward to hold each tiny hand in her big ones, and Sophie looked up at Ashlyn, curiosity written all over her face. Ashlyn smiled encouragingly. Ali was grinning at them, her nose crinkling and her teeth showing, a line showing in the corner of her eyes.

“Come here Princess” Ali told her daughter kindly, reaching her hands towards her. Sophie looked at her mommy and then back at Ashlyn, as if asking her what to do.

“Mommy?” Sophie said looking at Ashlyn, who chuckled and nodded.

“Let’s go to mommy baby girl.” Ashlyn said. Sophie fixed her eyes on Ali’s and gave a tentative step forward, Ashlyn making sure to keep her hold. When Sophie saw she didn’t fall after that first step, she tried another one, almost losing her balance. And then another one.

“Come here love!” Ali encouraged her “You’re doing so well!”

“Look at you beautiful I’m so proud!” Ashlyn whispered looking down at Sophie as the baby gave another step and another. Soon, her tiny hands went from Ashlyn’s hands to Ali’s knees as she gave Ali her best toothless -with exception of the four frontal ones- grin, crinkling her tiny nose as Ali took her and threw her up to the air before hugging her close.

“I’m so proud! Look at you walking around!” Ali was super excited, peppering kisses all over Sophie’s face. Ashlyn stood proudly smiling at them and then looked at Kyle, busy with his camera.

“Hey Unka Ky! Got it?” Ashlyn asked him imitating how Sophie called him.

“Damn right!” Kyle chuckled. Sydney slapped his arm “Ouch!”

“That mouth with kids present…” Sydney chuckled at him.

Later in the day, they were having dinner outside at a family-friendly place that had tables outside with views to a lake, so they could all sit out there and enjoy the perfect weather. There were Abby, Heather, Megan, Whitney, Allie with her daughter Ana, Tobin, Kelley, Meghan, Alyssa, Alex and Serv, Sydney with Dom and Cassius, Crystal and Morgan. Plus Kyle, Ashlyn, Ali and Sophie. Rose Lavelle already had plans.

“If you fall backwards and hit your head I swear…” Ashlyn used her warning tone as she saw Ali showing off some wheelchair abilities one-handed.

“Relax…” Ali chuckled leaning to kiss her, holding her face between her hands “you taught our girl to walk!”

“I didn’t teach her, she already knew. She was just scared.” Ashlyn chuckled kissing her again.

Kyle made Sophie laugh running around with her and making faces and noises in the meantime.

“Hey, good luck on the match tomorrow Pride girls!” Abby said raising her cup.

After dinner each went to their hotel or house to sleep -some of the girls that came from other states stayed at some of their guest rooms and others took hotels- Ashlyn, Ali and Kyle put Sophie to sleep and went to bed. Kyle took the guest room and Ashlyn helped Ali get comfortable and tucked in before slipping next to her and hugging her.

“Ugh, my shoulder is the worst…” Ali frowned trying to move into a better position.

“As someone who knows what a shoulder surgery feels like” Ashlyn said getting up and taking some cream, that she started pouring on Ali’s injured shoulder “I’ll tell you that you should be grateful it’s just a dislocation and didn’t need one. A few days more of PT and it’ll be like new.”

“Okay, thanks” Ali smiled at her “come, go to sleep.” Ashlyn left the cream on the nightstand and cuddled again, her head against Ali’s non-injured shoulder and an arm over her abdomen. Ali chuckled playing with her hair as she felt Ashlyn relax with her touch. The goalkeeper had been overly stressed those days and she wanted nothing but her to play her best the next day.

“I love you Alex.” Ashlyn whispered sleepily.

“I love you too Ash.” Ali replied, feeling herself relax as Ashlyn’s weight on her was more dead.

The match wasn’t good for the Pride. Even though they won, the win was slim, after Ashlyn somehow let two goals in threw with a lot of talent on the forwards’ side. That made Ashlyn reasonably grumpy and quiet during the rest of the day -the game had been in the early afternoon taking advantage of the great weather- but the presence of the girls, Debbie and Tammye who came to watch the game and particularly Sophie made her chill a little. That was until they were having dinner at their backyard garden, the kids already asleep inside the house, and Ali tried to reach the bottle of wine that, even though was closer to her than to anyone else, was still enough far away to be evidently unreachable unless you stood up. Ashlyn told Ali she could do it, but Ali didn’t wait and tried herself, accidentally pushing the bottle down with the tip of her fingers. The bottle of wine fell on the table and the wine spill out, getting the tablecloth dirty with stains that would be hard to even attempt to get out, but fortunately it reached no one and Kyle just quickly took the bottle and put it up on the table, him and Ashlyn being fast to put some napkins on it.

“I’m sorry, I’m so clumsy” Ali apologized.

“It’s alright Kween, the tablecloth needed some color.” Whitney chuckled at her friend.

“Thank God the only thing dirty is the tablecloth.” Kyle smiled keeping the light tone as everyone was relaxed about it. But Ashlyn was boiling and she glared at Ali, who was quick to pick it up.

“I’m sorry honey.” Ali said smiling a little.

“Why is it so hard for you to just do as I say Alex?” Ashlyn asked in an uncommon coldness. Ashlyn rarely got angry and when she did, it wasn’t usually the exploding-in-rage kind. But the frustrations of the day were taking their toll on her, adding the exhaustion of having to take care of not so much Sophie, since everyone helped so much, but of her stubborn wife, who couldn’t even wheel herself because of her arm.

“I’m sorry baby, I really thought I could reach it.” Ali tried to keep it light knowing there were guests in front, and smiled a little “It’s just an ugly tablecloth Ashlyn, we literally bought it to get dirty with Sophie’s antics.”

“You think it bothers me that an stupid ugly tablecloth is dirty?” Ashlyn asked, her eyes cold.

“No, I think what bothers you is that a couple goals went in today and you’re a bit jumpy babe.” Ali said calmly “Breath and calm down, there’s no reason to get pissed.”

“I’m pretty calmed down, believe me” Ashlyn crossed her arms still standing -she had had to stand up to clean the mess- and fixed her eyes on Ali “don’t you excuse this with the frigging coals Alex, if you had listened to me, this wouldn’t have happened. If you’re disabled at least could you listen to me so you don’t give me more job than the amount I already have on my shoulders? I mean, try make things a bit easier for me, will you?”

“Ash, chill” Kyle elbowed her playfully “it was an accident, come on.” Ashlyn looked at him and sighed.

“Yeah, little by little your stubborn sister does the heck she wants when she’s injured and not listening to reason and you know what happens then? Either she hurts herself more or these kinds of accidents happen. This was a bottle of wine, could’ve very easily been a bottle of very warm soup or tea, and then who gets serious burns because of her stubbornness?” she said pretty calmly. Ali sighed and rolled her eyes. She knew Ashlyn was just having a bad day and wasn’t willing to let it get to her, even less knowing the beach girl would apologize later. Many times people don’t really have a problem with you, but with themselves, and they end up paying with other people or projecting their problems on you.

“Ashlyn” Ali used her best warning tone “stop it now. Seriously if the argument is who of us is more stubborn, we can talk about how many times you’ve kept playing soccer with an actual injured shoulder or a concussion, okay? We’re both stubborn, we make mistakes, we apologize. I apologized so now you should stop talking shit or wait until you say something you regret later.” Ashlyn frowned and then nodded and walked inside the house. Ali sighed “Sorry guys, she’s just tense. Give her a minute.”

“I don’t get why she’s so worked up over a couple goals, didn’t they win?” Tammye shrugged “Plus, it’s not the first time goals have come in. It happens, it’s part of the game.”

“Well…” Alyssa shifted in her seat awkwardly “She knows she made two rookie mistakes of very beginners. That’s what pisses her off so much, it wasn’t a matter of forwards being very good but of a senior goalkeeper playing like a newbie.”

“Really?” Kyle frowned “I thought it was perfectly normal.”

“Yeah because you’re not a goalkeeper. It’s the kind of tiny things you don’t really see unless you’re a goalkeeper or a trainer.” Alyssa explained “The first goal went in because she thought Engels was going to pass the ball to Bolton and went too much to her side when given the situation she should’ve stayed more in the center, which every goalkeeper with a minimum of experience knows because she left one side completely unprotected which gave one of their defenders, Henderson, perfect shoot into the goal. And the second? She was fooled in such a stupid way it hurt to see. That’s not the game you expect from a senior, very experienced and very good and well respected goalkeeper like Ashlyn.” Alyssa explained sadly. Ali frowned.

“Kyle, can you wheel me inside?” Ali asked her brother, who nodded getting up and wheeling Ali all the way to the living room, where Ashlyn was lying on the sofa looking at the pictures that covered the walls “Thanks.” Kyle nodded and left the room. Ashlyn looked questioningly at Ali “Remember the day we meet?” Ashlyn shrugged.

“You were a nineteen year old newbie in the 2004 USWNT under 19 team. And I was an eighteen year old rock star.” Ashlyn chuckled. Ali giggled.

“Yeah, you were the famous Ashlyn Harris, the star of the net. You had so many caps and I could barely keep my spot.” Ali said “I remember being introduced to everyone and I was super nervous but you were a natural leader and you shook my hand, gave me that beautiful smile, and so much kindness. You made me feel at home.”

“Yeah” Ashlyn nodded “you were so gorgeous already. You had me wrapped around your finger from the start. And here we are, eighteen years later.” Ali nodded with a little smile and contemplated her wife, whose eyes were lost in space, full of intrigues.

“You know it wasn’t your incredible talent and your impressive abilities what first called my attention about you, Ash” Ali said. Ashlyn looked at her with surprise “soccer didn’t win your way into my heart. It was your smile, your charisma, your depths, your ability to make me laugh, your immense heart full of such incredible kindness, your thoughtfulness, your positivism, your perseverance, your strength and your weakness. Your ability to be vulnerable, something that scared me so much, but still be brave, courageous and tough. How you’d wear your heart on your sleeve without fearing getting it shattered and stood against the waves like the toughest rock. You became my rock. And you taught me so much, like to open up or to accept hugs. With your softness and delicacy you stormed your path into me. And soccer had nothing to do with that.”

“But I’m a goalkeeper. That’s who I am.”

“Before that you’re all I’ve just said. Add amazing wife and flawless mama.” Ali smiled a little “Look, I know you still have a lot to play, that your heart is still in the game for a part big enough, and that is great. But you need to know that you’re so, so much more and that to me and to Sophie and to everyone out there in our backyard, you are firstly all those things and then later an excellent goalkeeper. Today you played shitty, but that doesn’t change how any of us feel about you. It doesn’t make you less sexy, less good, less anything than anyone. It was a shitty day and you sleep it off and get up tomorrow and do better just like Sophie improving her walking slowly but steadily, you learn from your mistakes and keep fighting. I fell in love with a fighter Ash, and that person is still there, I know it. So tonight you’re allowed to feel shitty but tomorrow you’re getting up, okay?”

Ashlyn shifted and sat up, giving a nod and a little smile to her wife.

“Thank you Alex.” Ashlyn dragged her feet to her and knelt in front of her, wrapping her in a tiny hug. Ali buried a hand in her hair and kissed the side of her head “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay… I’m scared too. I’m scared I won’t ever walk with our daughter, scared of not being able to do the sports I love, of not being myself again… but I think we need to remind ourselves that we’re so much more than soccer.” Ashlyn nodded, pulling apart to look at her.

“Yeah… I mean, look at Sophie. She knows nothing about soccer and yet she loves us so much and has such high view of us. We should too, right?”

“Exactly. We have to look at ourselves like we look at each other.” Ali cupped her face and kissed her. When the kiss was over, Ashlyn looked deep into her eyes.

“Hey… you don’t have to be scared because it doesn’t matter. With or without legs, to me you’re the same Alex Krieger who froze me with her princess needs and her amazing laugh and her crinkled nose. I love you, with or without legs and if that means we have to restructure the whole house and learn how to do everything all over, then we’ll do that. We’re on the same boat no matter where it takes us.” Ashlyn assured her. Ali chuckled.

“Thank you Ash…” Ali murmured.

Suddenly they started heavily making out. Ashlyn scooped her up without letting their lips pull apart and was about to fuck her on the sofa when the laughs from outside reminded them of their guests so, instead of putting each other’s clothes away, Ali laughed holding Ashlyn’s blushed face between her hands, their foreheads almost pressed together.

“You’re my entire life.” Ashlyn blurted out. Ali stopped laughing and caressed her face.

“You’re my forever.” Ali gave her a kiss and then pulled apart “Sorry, but our guests are waiting.” Ashlyn nodded and instead of putting her back on the wheelchair, she scooped her up and carried her outside, both smiling. Ashlyn sat with Ali sitting on her.

“All good?” Deb asked. Ashlyn looked at Ali, who was stuffing a prawn in her mouth violently, and chuckled.

“Yeah.”

A few days later, Ashlyn left with the rest of the Pride girls to play against Western New York Flash and the ones that remained in Orlando sat together to watch the game on TV.

“Mama!” Sophie yelled enthusiastically pointing at the TV while standing in the middle of the living room.

“Yes, look how sexy that shark is!” Ali smiled at her daughter. The TV was showing a great save Ashlyn was done. She was wearing one of her favorite jerseys, the black one, her hair was loose and looked savage doing things to Ali, and she was wearing the number eleven, as it had been since she married Ali. Ali was pretty proud of it. They laughed hearing perfectly well Ashlyn’s captain yelling to the other players, and laughed even harder at the yelling that came when the WNY Flash got a PK and as the player got ready to kick it, Ashlyn yelled obscenities at them to distract them, which had its effect. At the end, the Pride won in a tight 1-1 that got saved in the PK rounds after the 90 minutes, in which Ashlyn stopped one goal and the other goalkeeper, none, giving Orlando the victory.

“That game has been too much.” Kyle complained sighing and relaxing when it was over.

“God, I don’t have age for that anxiety.” Abby added. It was a good game, nevertheless.

 

 


	25. Of toes, sharks and panic attacks

“Down! Down! Down!” the girls cheered in the Harris’ swimming pool as a battle was taking place in the pool. Tobin on Abby’s shoulders, Ali on Ashlyn’s shoulders, Alex on Servando’s and Heather on Meghan’s, were the last ones standing in the battle to get everyone else down. The rest of the friends had already gone down. Ana and Sophie were playing under Tammye and Debbie’s watch.

“Come on Alex!” Ashlyn cheered grabbing Ali’s legs tightly to keep them from falling down. Ali giggled on her. The cast on her arm had finally been removed and the cuts on her face and arms were now just pink lines that would, for the most part, vanish with time. Her shoulder wasn’t completely okay but now it didn’t hurt if she didn’t move it much, which was an improvement.

“I’ve got you Kriegs!” Heather yelled grabbing Ali by the abdomen, but Ashlyn jumped a little, giving more power to Ali’s arm, that pushed against Heather, throwing her to the water “Damn!”

“That’s my sister taking world champions down with one arm!” Kyle yelled laughing. But shortly after, Alex took Ali down, to what Ashlyn swam to get her, since Ali’s legs were still not showing improvement. Ashlyn wrapped her arms around Ali’s hips, adjusting her legs around her own hip, and smiled at her wife as Ali spat water out and grinned at her.

“It was a close win” Ali said. Ashlyn chuckled and kissed her. A second later, Tobin took Alex down and proclaimed herself the winner.

They hung out in the pool for a while and when Ali wanted to get out, Ashlyn sat her on the verge of the pool to watch the little water polo game some of the girls including Ashlyn, were having. There was only a couple days before the girls had to go so they were enjoying the little time they had left and Sophie was playing with her grandmas and Ana and Allie. Suddenly Ali started feeling intense pain in her left foot, like if all the muscles had gotten really tight and were giving her cramps or something. It caught her by surprise and she made an angry low noise through gritted teeth, both hands grabbing her knee unable to get lower or move the leg closer, and her eyes closed.

“Guys, something’s wrong with Krieger!” Dom, Sydney’s husband, noticed.

“Alex!” Ashlyn swam quickly towards her and put her hands on the ground on each side of Ali, reaching one to put over Ali’s on her knee. Her concerned eyes stared at Ali’s face “Alex! Are you in pain? What’s wrong?” Ali breathed deeply and opened teary eyes, her knuckles white from grabbing her leg so tightly although she could only feel some pressure “Alex, please talk to me, what’s happening?” Ashlyn asked full of concern. Kyle had sat next to Ali on the verge of the pool, while Ashlyn was in front of her, standing on the pool’s floor.

“My foot” Ali breathed out “it hurts freaking much Ash.” Ali groaned and pressed her lips together. Ashlyn nodded and carefully put a hand under Ali’s foot, the other under her knee, lifting up her leg and bending it so the foot was pressed against the ground “Oh God it hurts!” Ashlyn calmly manipulated her leg and foot, pressing, bending, flexing, stirring, but it still felt like dead weight and Ali was still in pain. Then, Ashlyn felt nails against her hand. She looked down and saw Ali’s toes had curled and the nails were scratching her palm. Ashlyn grinned.

“Babe, you’re moving your toes!” Ashlyn yelled enthusiastically, not being able to contend herself. Ali breathed deeply and took a look seeing her toes were, in fact curled. Making an enormous effort, she slowly got them to relax, then curl again, and then drum against Ashlyn’s palm a little. And then it was as if the pain didn’t exist, anymore, she grinned.

“I’m moving my toes!” Ali yelled.

“You’re moving your toes!” Kyle yelled excitedly “Mom!”

Eventually Ashlyn got out of the pool, lifted Ali bride stile and laid her on a deck chair wrapped in a towel. She then sat on the verge of it and massaged Ali’s foot like the PT had taught her, trying to calm down the muscles so Ali’s pain lessened, which eventually happened.

“Thanks babe” Ali smiled at her wife happy the pain was gone. Ashlyn chuckled and brought the foot to her lips, kissing it softly, which made Ali giggle, since it felt ticklish.

“How are you feeling?” Ashlyn asked moving her hands up and down her legs.

“I’m okay now.” Ali nodded confident.

“Okay, girl straight to the tube!” Ali laughed a while later, putting Sophie into the bath. The baby giggled and kicked her legs in the air before getting into the water and sitting with a happy face, showing her little teeth to her mama. Ashlyn was making dinner with Kyle and Abby while the grandmothers rested watching videos of baby Jamie, Chris’ son, on Ashlyn’s laptop. Rose and Sydney, Dom and Cash had gone home for dinner and only Abby, Heather, Pinoe, Whitney, Alex and Serv, Allie and Ana, Tobin, Kelley, Meghan, Alyssa, Morgan and Crystal were still there. They were still a lot of people, hence the amount of people working hard in the kitchen.

“Mama shark!” Sophie babbled squeezing the shark toy, that spit water.

“Yeah, mama’s a shark isn’t she?” Ali smiled pouring some shampoo in Sophie’s short hair and massaging it softly. Sophie mostly babbled or spoke barely clear words, but they enjoyed it regardless.

“Momma shark too” Sophie commented. Ali chuckled.

“I’m a shark too? Thanks honey! You’re a little shark too.”

“Rawr!” Sophie yelled showing her teeth in a ridiculous attempt to look scary, which made Ali laugh and hold her face between her hands to cover it in kisses.

“I love you so much Sophie.” Ali said carefully rinsing her hair.

“Owe you too.” Sophie said, splashing water and playing with the bubbles. Once she was completely clean, Ali put Sophie’s slippers on the floor and lifted the kid up before making her stand on the slippers and putting her bathrobe on her. Ali took her in her arms.

“Hold on tight okay hon?” Ali instructed her. Sophie loved the thrill of the wheelchair now that Ali could wheel her around. Ali grabbed diapers and wheeled them to the living room. She smiled seeing the grandmothers make cute sounds at Jamie’s antics “Enjoying Jimmy uh?” Ali chuckled putting Sophie on the sofa and starting to put the diapers on.

“He’s so cute” Tammye smiled at her grandson in the screen.

“Who Jimmy?” Sophie asked Ali.

“Jimmy is your cousin Soph, he’s the son of Uncle Chris and Aunty Alison.” Ali explained “James Michael Harris, remember we showed you a pic?”

“Oh!” Sophie nodded “Cousin Jim-Jim!” Ali chuckled and nodded. Chris had only been able to drive James to Orlando a couple times, so sometimes Sophie had a hard time remembering him since she was so young.

“Do you like cousin Jim-Jim Soph?” Tobin asked sitting next to Sophie and ‘stealing’ her nose. Sophie giggled and brought Tobin’s hand back to her nose to feel her nose had returned back in place.

“Yes” Sophie answered nodding firmly.

“Tobin could you please go to Sophie’s bedroom upstairs for her PJ’s?” Ali asked her friend.

“Sure, where is it?” Tobin asked.

“Right in front of my bedroom. There’s a wooden chest of drawers, second drawer. There should be a little USA onesie.” Ali winked at Tobin, who chuckled and nodded, getting up the sofa.

“I’m gonna get you your pajama!” Tobin smiled at Sophie, drumming her fingers on the little milky belly before jogging upstairs. She reached a medium sized bedroom, that had pale orange walls covered in framed pictures of the family, mostly put with the purpose of Sophie remembering each family member even though they didn’t see each other that much. There was a toddler’s crib next to a closed window, a pretty and comfortable-looking armchair, a sharks carpet with some toys over it, a chest of toys on the floor near the wall, a small closet, a bookshelf and the chest of drawers Ali talked about. Tobin easily found Sophie’s pajama and jogged back downstairs, handing it to Ali.

“Thank you” Ali smiled and quickly put the onesie on Sophie before she got cold, taking the opportunity to make raspberries on her belly, which made her laugh.

“She looks so much like Ashlyn when she was her age.” Tammye commented leaving the laptop aside and using Sophie’s bathrobe to make sure her hair was dry.

“Shwin” Sophie smiled at her grandma.

“Ashlyn” Ali corrected her playfully tickling her “that’s your mama’s name. You’re Sophie Harris, mama’s Ashlyn Harris.”

“S’phy Arrs” Sophie mispronounced. Tammye and Ali laughed and Tammye took her in her arms to play with her granddaughter for a bit.

“Come here, Sophie Harris.” Tammye kissed her granddaughter on the forehead and Ali handed her Sophie’s pacifier before the kid got her thumb in her mouth, which they were trying to avoid.

“Someone said Harris?” Ashlyn came into the living-dining room holding cutlery and napkins to put on the table.

“I S’phy Arrs” Sophie said removing the pacifier from her mouth with her little hands. Ashlyn chuckled at her.

“Yes, you are Sophie Harris love” Ashlyn replied.

“We’ll set up the table, don’t worry” Alyssa smiled at her former goalkeeping rival grabbing the stuff from her hands.

“Thank you.” Ashlyn turned and chuckled at baby Ana, who was sleeping on Allie’s lap “Cuteness overload here!” she commented before going back to the kitchen.

“And Toby isn’t even here” Rapinoe smirked. Toby was the four year old son she had with Sera Cahoone, her wife. Toby had stayed with Sera, since he had to go to preschool and also that way Sera wouldn’t get bored. 

They had been eating for a while, Sophie had already fallen asleep on Kyle’s lap. The proud uncle had made sure there was a good selfie with the whole gang -Sophie’s back showing on his lap, but not her face- posted in his Instagram with the caption ‘Feels good to be with the ol’gang and the munchkins! #HomeIsWhereTheHeartIs #Princess’. Then, all of the sudden, Ashlyn felt like she couldn’t breathe. It was like if a hand was squeezing her heart and her chest burnt. She recognized it; it was a panic attack. A very strong one, and she hadn’t had one in a while. There wasn’t even something to trigger her. They were sitting, having fun, enjoying each other. Hell, she was laughing two seconds before. She tried to think, and think fast, and she squeezed Ali’s arm tight, trying to let her know what was going on because words weren’t coming out, just gasps for air. But when she looked, Ali was already looking at her. And so was everybody. And Ali looked concern as shit but she couldn’t hear what they were saying.

Then she saw Kyle hand Sophie carefully to Tammye, get up and pull her chair back. Ashlyn read in his lips he was calling her, and she tried to show with her face she wasn’t hearing him. She tried to yell she wasn’t hearing him, but she could hardly breathe. She was hugging herself tight in an attempt to what? Get her heart to feel better? Kyle spoke something with Ali and then grabbed Ashlyn from her armpits and scooped her up, putting her legs around his hips and hugging her tightly as he got her out of the house and into the garden. The cold of the night seemed to wake her up and suddenly she could hear something. She started distinguishing Kyle’s voice:

“It’s okay Ash, I’ve got you. You’re okay, I’ve got you.” Kyle sat down on the sofa with her still on him and carefully pulled her back so he could take a look. He held her face between his hands, looking serious and concerned. Ashlyn took a deep breath that felt and sounded like the one you take when you get out of the water after a long time diving, and her hands clung to Kyle’s t-shirt.

“Ky” Ashlyn breathed out. Kyle smiled.

“Sh… it’s okay.” Kyle whispered.

“Fuck” Ashlyn finally felt the pressure in her chest vanished and she let her face fall against Kyle’s shoulder. Kyle passed his fingers through her back soothingly humming some song softly. It didn’t take long for Ashlyn to feel better, even a little sleepy, and she pulled apart “Thanks bro.”

“All good now?” Kyle asked. Ashlyn took a deep breath and nodded.

“Yeah, I don’t know what was that.”

“A panic attack?” Kyle asked.

“Yeah but… I don’t know why. I’ll talk about it with Gregory I guess.” Ashlyn shrugged and got up “We better go inside before they eat everything.” She added with a little chuckle, trying to enlighten the mood. Kyle laughed and followed her inside. Ashlyn couldn’t help but blush when she was met with fifteen pairs of worried eyes “I’m okay, I’m sorry for the scare.”

Ali kept her eyes on her as she sat back down next to her, and passed a hand through Ashlyn’s short hair the way she liked it.

“Okay now?” Ali asked.

“Yeah, it was just a weird panic attack.” Ashlyn gave her a quick peck “I don’t know why, but I’ll tell Gregory.” Ali nodded “Thankfully my brother from another mister knew exactly what to do, what a champ” Ashlyn smiled at her brother in law, who smiled back.

“Sure it was just that sweetheart?” Tammye asked concerned.

“Yeah mom, no worries. I just hadn’t had one in a long time so it caught me off guard, that’s all. By the time I knew what was going on I couldn’t even hear a word.” Ashlyn shrugged “It’s okay, really. I’m good now.”

“Don’t those only happen in stressful situations?” Servando asked concerned.

“It’s supposed to but it doesn’t have to work that way. Sometimes it just happens in a normal moment.” Ashlyn explained “I have meds for that but I don’t take them unless I’m stressed because I can’t go all medicated through life. Maybe it’s the stress of the NWSL, I don’t know. Would be a first if it’s that.”

“Well it’s okay now, we’ll just keep an eye on it.” Ali reached for Ashlyn’s hand and squeezed it tightly.

“Uhm, guys?” Alex Morgan said “Not to steal the thunder or something, but I was having what I thought were those normal fake contractions that happen in the last trimester and well my water just broke. That, or I just peed myself.” Servando immediately looked down and his eyes widened.

“Well uhm” Kelley, sitting next to Alex, cleared her voice and looked at her very seriously “congrats, I’m not hungry anymore.”

 

 


	26. Baby on the move

Josephine Ashlyn Carrasco was born at four in the morning on August 27 th 2022 and both her and her mother, Alex, were perfectly fine.

“God, what a night uh?” Ashlyn smiled finally getting into bed and snuggling next to Ali.

“Yeah, unbelievable. And Josey is so beautiful” Ali chuckled putting her arms around Ashlyn as the short haired woman leant against her chest.

“She sure is. God I didn’t expect them to name her after me.” Ashlyn said “I never knew I meant that much.”

“Well you do beautiful” Ali chuckled stroking her hair “Alex told me that way she’d have the name of one of the toughest, most loving, kindest, most hard working, and most open hearted people she knew.”

“Shut up, she didn’t tell you that!” Ashlyn playfully slapped her arm.

“She did. She told me a bit ago, when you were out playing against the WNY Flash.” Ali explained.

“Really?” Ashlyn looked at her. Ali grinned and nodded.

“Really. She felt that way she wouldn’t have to worry about Josey that much. Because she’d know she’d have the name of someone who went through hell and still became kind as fuck, humble, loving, hard working, sensitive, tough, and not some cold hearted bitch. And maybe that gave Josey the same capacity.”

“Wow.” Ashlyn smiled against Ali’s chest. “Wow…” Ali pressed her lips against the back of her head.

“You’re an inspiration, babe.” Ali assured her, and tickled her with the toes she could move.

“Oh my… I love feeling your toes again.” Ashlyn grinned. And that night, when they fell asleep, they couldn’t feel happier.

Ashlyn woke up early in the morning to reach Sophie, who was crying. She ran to her before she woke up everybody, and held her close to her chest. Sophie soon stopped crying, she just felt lonely sometimes. While Ashlyn bounced her lightly walking around the room she entertained herself taking a look at the little calendar on top of the chest of drawers. It had animals on it and it was cute. Then she realized.

With Sophie asleep back in her crib, Ashlyn walked fast to her bed and woke Ali up.

“What?” Ali asked “Babe we went to sleep at five…”

“It’s my grandmother’s death anniversary” Ashlyn whispered “the panic attack probably was related to it. I forgot.” Ali stared at her for a moment and then extended her arms towards her. Ali got under the covers and wrapped Ashlyn between her arms tightly.

“It’s okay. I’ve got you.” Ali kissed the top of her head.

“I don’t want to live without you Alex.” Ashlyn whispered.

“Sh…” Ali squeezed her tightly “Don’t think about that. I’m here now. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”

Ashlyn fell asleep again seconds later, breathing against Ali’s t-shirt, which made Ali fell asleep too relaxing into the embrace and letting the sound of Ashlyn’s breathing soothe her to sleep. Later in the day they had a physiotherapy session so they left Sophie with her grandmas and Kyle and went to see Fred Graham, Ali’s PT.

“It’s a very good sign that you can move your toes in the left foot” Fred was saying “for them to move the whole channel from the injury point in your spine to the tip of your toes has to work, which means not only your left leg should be moving soon, but also you should start being able to move a bit the right one. We just have to keep it up with the physiotherapy.” Fred grinned at them while working with one of Ali’s legs as the dark haired woman lied down on a bed.

Ashlyn and Ali exchanged enthusiastic grins and Ashlyn leant to kiss her.

“So” Ali said when they pulled apart “they’re going to move? For real?”

“Well the nerves and muscles of your legs haven’t been working like before for a while so they might be sore, or need more help, or have it hard to go back to work” Fred explained “but I think your odds have gone significantly up. I think you two could celebrate already. Plus, you have feeling in your legs, even if it’s less intense or a bit numb. Is much better than what most people get.”

“Oh God” Ashlyn breathed out in relief “thanks Freddie. Our girl just started walking and it would be the world if Ali could have the experience of walking with her too.”

“Yeah” Ali nodded enthusiastically “you should see her Freddie, she’s like this tiny” gesticulating with her hands “and already stumbles her way around the living room. My brother has even started helping her down and up the stairs.”

“That’s amazing!” Fred chuckled. Over the weeks they had gotten pretty close pretty fast. Plus, Freddie and her wife had a daughter a few months older than Sophie only, so they had gotten to hang out together after sessions more than once and strengthened their relationship “And how’s that shoulder doing?”

“Hurt a little bit sometimes but with the exercises you gave me, it’s better. Plus our friend, trainer Chris Gorres, has seen it a couple times and gave me a few exercises too to recover the strength and stuff. So it’s been pretty great, I can wheel myself for hours without getting tired even.” Ali explained happily.

“And the therapy sessions are good?” Fred asked. Since the accident, Ali had been advised to see a therapist to deal with the trauma of the accident.

“Yeah, I sleep good most nights. I just feel really lucky to be alive.” Ali answered. Ashlyn smiled down at her squeezing her hand.

Their living room filled with sounds of laughter as Ali sat with Sophie and Ana on her lap watching some TV DVD’s for toddlers where they taught the alphabet with catchy songs that the girls loved. Ali sang along and Sophie and Anna babbled along, which was cute. Kyle and Allie sat with them taking videos and laughing. Ashlyn smiled contemplating them from the door and then turned around to walk to the kitchen, where Deb sat drinking coffee with Heather and Whitney. She put her hands on Debbie’s shoulders and kissed her in the cheek.

“Thank you.” Ashlyn said.

“Why?” Debbie chuckled loving her daughter’s antics.

“For bringing to the world the most amazing human being ever.” Ashlyn answered kissing her cheek again.

“Aww thank you!” Debbie laughed “You’re not so bad yourself Harris.” She joked. Ashlyn laughed out loud moving to grab a cup of wine for Ali, who loved red wine.

August finished quickly and gave away to September. Everyone was long gone in their houses and the three Harris were enjoying a calm morning together before Ashlyn had to go train for the morning.

“Step” Ashlyn indicated Sophie helping her walk downstairs. The little girl’s hands were in Ashlyn’s hand and grabbing onto the railing, and half-jumped each step. Ali looked from downstairs, filming it with her phone for posterity “well done, another step… there you go, step…” slowly, Sophie reached the last step and jumped on Ali’s embrace.

“That’s my girl!” Ali chuckled kissing Sophie’s cheek “Well done baby!”

“She has good feet.” Ashlyn smirked. She was already dressed for training, her backpack hanging on her back “Okay, I have to go. All good here, want me to get something downstairs?” Ashlyn asked Ali.

“No, don’t worry.” Ali nodded “There are diapers and change of clothes in the living room, it’s all set. You can go. Good luck.” Ashlyn gave her a lingering kiss “Wish mama good luck with her training today Sophie?” Sophie reached her arms to Ashlyn, who took her up and hugged her covering her in kisses.

“Gawd lack mama!” Sophie said badly but enthusiastically, and Ashlyn laughed.

“Aw God what am I going to do a few hours without you?” Ashlyn kissed her before returning her to Ali. It cost her the same every day she left for training. Fortunately she only had three games away from Orlando left, but even going to training in Orlando like that day was hard. Sometimes Ali and Sophie would tag along and cheer from the stands, but Ali had just come from physiotherapy and was too tired for that.

“See you later love!” Ali yelled from the door as they saw Ashlyn jog to the car.

To keep Sophie entertained while she rested a little, Ali put one of Sophie’s favorite movies, the super old classic of ‘The Land Before Time’ that was Ashlyn’s favorite since she was a toddler. The movie gave room for Ashlyn to be nicknamed ‘Littlefoot’ as a kid and now she was Littlefoot senior and Sophie was the new Littlefoot.

“Come on Littlefoot, let’s take the morning easy uh?” Ali set the baby on the carpet with her toys and maneuvered herself into the sofa. She let a breath out when she finally propelled herself on the sofa, thankful for having strong athlete arms and also that Sophie was one of the quietest, calmest, easiest babies on the world, which was a relief after hearing the stories of Ashlyn as a kid, who was the absolute opposite and was getting herself in trouble even when she only knew how to crawl, and the stories her family would tell her gave her chills.

“S’little with me” Sophie said grabbing Satellite, who just let himself be used, and hugging him tightly. The dogs were super family friendly and were used to Sophie using them however she liked without complaining much, unless she crossed the line, in which case they only cried. Kriegs had even been used as a horse the night before.

“Satellite is going to play with you?” Ali chuckled giving the dog an apologetic look, and pressed the play button. Kriegs jumped on the sofa and cuddled with Ali, who shortly after, had fallen asleep.

She was woken up, however, what seemed like a short time later but in reality must have been over an hour, since the movie was nearing its end. Kriegs was barking loudly, Sophie was crying strongly, and Ali found herself snapping awake and with her heart beating strongly in her chest. Kriegs was barking and growling, biting Ali’s shorts and trying to pull her out of the sofa.

“Sophie?!” Ali yelled, identifying the crying was from upstairs “Shit! Sophie why are you upstairs?” Ali hurried herself to get herself back into the wheelchair with some effort, and quickly wheeled herself to the stairs, and looked up wondering how in hell was she going to get up there. She had never had the need in over a month she had been paraplegic and so far she could only move her left foot and slightly maneuver with her thighs. Kriegs was going into hysterics barking at her and not hearing Satellite barking was weird, which made Ali wonder if he was hurt too “Sophie!” Ali yelled in the desperate. She finally gathered her courage and let herself fall against the first step of stairs with a thud “Ouch! Damn…” Propelling herself up on her elbows, Ali dragged herself upstairs, trying to impulse herself a little with the little movement her left foot and thighs could make.

It hurt her legs and ribs, but she toughed up and dragged herself laboriously upstairs, trying to use the vertical bars that held up the railing to impulse herself upstairs, and using her baby’s cries as encouragement. Little after she managed to start going upstairs she heard Satellite howling, and it made her more anxious and nervous, but she kept her tears at bay knowing crying would only weaken her. Finally, covered in sweat and with Kriegs biting her t-shirt and pulling her upstairs from it, she managed to reach the top of the stairs and started dragging her now pretty bruised body down the corridor until she reached Sophie’s bedroom, where the cries came from. While she was dragging herself down the corridor, suddenly her thighs really reacted and she found herself being able to half crawl, which speed the process. However, she was met with a disconcerting picture once she finally reached the baby’s bedroom.

Sophie was lying next to the door, crying and yelling for her moms, Satellite was crying sitting next to her, and not too far away Sophie’s bookshelf had fallen forward, but its fall had been stopped when the top of the bookshelf collided with the top of the chest of drawers. The stuffed animals, pictures and books that were on the bookshelf had fallen to the floor underneath, but at least the bookshelf hadn’t.

“Sophie baby, I’m here. I’m so sorry love, I’m here” Ali carefully hovered over Sophie, checking she was okay and it had just been a scare. The most she had was a little bruise on her forehead, but that was it. Her hands, arms, legs, feet… all seemed to move just fine. She wasn’t covered in bruises. She was just scared as fuck.

“Mommy!” Sophie yelled.

“Sh… calm down baby, calm down…” Ali covered her in kisses, her own tears now flowing freely in relief and anger that she hadn’t been able to come faster, and she grabbed Sophie before rolling on her back with Sophie on top. The two dogs sat next to her licking them both, nervous. Ali cried her eyes out generating the less noise as possible to avoid making Sophie more distressed, and the girl finally calmed down, which somehow helped Ali relax. Ali dragged herself to support her back on the wall and sit up, feeling her arms exhausted, and contemplated Sophie, who sat on her lip looking at the disaster with a fist on her mouth, her face red and sweaty, her hair damp and glued to her face, that was wet with tears. She was no longer crying, just looking stupefied. Ali then noticed dog’s saliva all over Sophie’s onesie and then realized what had happened. Sophie had climbed on the bookshelf, probably trying to reach one of her tale books, the bookshelf had fallen forward with the extra weight and Sophie had fallen forward, but since she hadn’t gone very up in the bookshelf what had fallen on top of her had been mostly the big stuffed animals that were in the lowest shelves. Satellite had run to her hearing the distress and had bit her onesie pulling her out from under the bookshelf and the toys, that’s why he wasn’t barking, because he was busy getting Sophie out. In the meantime, Kriegs had managed to get Ali up there. Ali grinned tearfully at the pets and stroke them, and kissed them lovingly.

“You two are so getting your award food for a couple weeks guys.” Ali said “Thank you so much my boys.”

“Self did bam bam!” Sophie yelled gesticulating with her arms, and chuckled at Ali “S’little help and Krigs help.”

“The bookshelf did bam bam and Satellite and Kriegs helped right?” Ali chuckled. And suddenly she couldn’t help but laugh her ass off. She started laughing and then she couldn’t stop, and Sophie started laughing too, and the kid had such a funny laugh she couldn’t help but laugh too. It took them full ten minutes to stop laughing “Oh my dear God… how are we going to fix this mess Littlefoot?” Ali tickled Sophie, who shrugged and giggled “Hey, my cell phone is on the sofa in the living room, who of you is going to get it for me?” She asked the dogs and kid, raising her eyebrows expectantly.

“Me!” Sophie got up.

“Sophie” Ali grabbed her hand and looked serious “hold onto the railing, go slow and very careful okay? Don’t get hurt again. Please.” Ali wouldn’t let her do that in hell, but she knew there was no other choice. It was the fastest method to get help and the fastest someone came the fastest Ali could put some ice on Sophie’s forehead and make sure the kid was okay. Plus, she knew going down and up the stairs was okay, since everybody had made sure Sophie learnt properly to do that. Ashlyn had an easy going philosophy of life. She knew Sophie would, inevitably, start using the stairs the moment she knew how to talk, they could put a protective baby door, but she’ll learn to open it, and they could get mad all they wanted, but Sophie was her daughter, stubborn, brave and defiant, so it would all be for nothing. The best and safest route was to teach her how to go around the stairs properly and safely as fast as possible so when the inevitable happened, they wouldn’t have an accident. And somehow Ali figured that if the most rebellious and reckless, trouble seeker of the house, figured how to teach their kid properly, then there was nothing to be afraid of since if someone could think of all the possible ways a kid had to get in trouble, it was definitely Ashlyn.

Shortly after Ali had called Alex and Servando, who came into the house with the spare key she had, put the bookshelf right in place, put Ali’s wheelchair upstairs and helped Ali onto it. Between the four they put everything back into the bookshelf and then went to the living room. Alex made tea, Servando made sure Josey slept in the carrier they brought, Ali put ice on Sophie’s forehead.

“Are you feeling okay baby girl?” Ali asked Sophie calmly putting some ice on her forehead after having washed off her face.

“Yeah.” Sophie nodded and smiled.

“I’m gonna tell mama to drive you to the doc later anyway just to check.” Ali murmured.

“If you want I can take her.” Servando offered.

“Really?” Ali looked at the man in disbelief.

“Sure!” Servando asked “I’ll tell them she hit her head with a toy and that her mother just had an accident and couldn’t drive her, so I did. Just hand me her papers and I’ll get her.”

Once Servando and Sophie were out, Alex sat with Ali to check on her.

“Guys I can’t thank you enough, I swear.” Ali said thankfully.

“That’s what we’re for Ali” Alex kissed her on the cheek “are you okay?”

“Not really” Ali looked at her super bruised arms and legs “I dragged myself all the way to her from here, it hurts.”

“Let me check.” Alex took a look at her bruised legs and applied ice and pomade for the bruises, and then retired the t-shirt and did the same.

Servando came back an hour later saying they had ran some tests on Sophie and she was perfectly fine, she had even earned a lollipop. Servando, Alex and Josey went home and Sophie went back to playing, while Ali sat on the sofa, satisfied with herself and still amazed about all the events of the morning. Then, she heard the door open and Ashlyn made her way into the house.

“I’m here loves!” Ashlyn yelled.

“Mama!” Sophie ‘ran’ to her mother, who appeared seconds later in the living room with a confused look and the baby in her arms.

“Why does our daughter have a bump in her forehead the size of a chestnut Al?” Ashlyn asked.

“Oh baby.” Ali looked at her and laughed. There was a lot to explain.

 


	27. The Brick Wall

“See? I can crawl.” Ali showed Ashlyn. The taller woman had been impressed and scared after the whole morning adventures and, after lunch and after nailing Sophie’s bookshelf to the wall, Ali showed her the new improvement “My legs are working!”

“Can you stand on your feet?” Ashlyn asked.

“I don’t know, I haven’t tried.” Ali shrugged. Ashlyn helped her on her feet “Ugh, my right leg feels too weak… but the left one holds me up a little with your help.” Ali said feeling herself.

“This is amazing babe!” Ashlyn kissed her enthusiastically “Can’t believe all you’ve done today. You’re super tough badass mommy.”

“Thanks babe.” Ali blushed accepting another kiss.

Ali’s legs followed a slow but steady progress for the next few weeks and one night early in October as Ashlyn lied on their bed with Sophie on top reading her a book, Ali appeared by the doorstep standing on her feet, holding onto the doorframe. Ashlyn didn’t notice until she looked the second time, and then a huge grin appeared in her face.

“Sweetie” Ashlyn whispered to Sophie “look at mommy.”

“Mommy learn wakie wakie” Sophie said with her pacifier in her mouth.

“They still feel weak” Ali cleared out nervously, smiling “and I’m almost dragging my right feet but uhm, I felt a tingle and uhm I thought well maybe? And uhm I tried and hey look, I’m standing up.” Ashlyn laughed and put Sophie on the bed before standing and going to Ali. She put her hands under Ali’s elbows to help her support as Al grabbed onto Ashlyn’s arms, and they kissed.

“I’m so happy and so proud munchkin.” Ashlyn whispered looking at her with loving eyes. Ali smiled nervously and gave a tentative step forward. She lost her balance a little but Ashlyn kept a tight grip on her and she gave another step. Slowly, they managed to the bed, and Ali chuckled proud of herself.

A week later, it was the NWSL’s finals. Ali, who had been back to work for a month, had the day off to support her wife, who had made it to the Championship, that would be a solid Orlando Pride vs. North Carolina Courage. The Washington Spirit’s owners had bought the North Carolina Courage, only to end up making some stupid decision of dissolving the Washington Spirit a few years earlier, most of the players moving to the Courage, so the Courage ended up becoming a weird mix of the two. The Washington Spirit owners and everything moved to North Carolina. It had, apparently, been some move to get rid of a team that they considered ‘competence’ and own better facilities and players than the ones available in Washington back in the day. Then after a few years, North Carolina Courage had been bought by another people and the ones that until then had managed it and that had previously own the Spirit had been involved in some trouble with the law where Ali and Ashlyn preferred not to get their noses in, although they could suspect the problems, since the owners were incredibly homophobic and, irony-on, misogynistic. It had all happened in the course of three-four years, but now the Courage was a trustworthy cool team with pretty awesome players, so the match would be tight and hard.

Since it was doomed to be an awesome match, Chris felt really sad he couldn’t go watch it, since he didn’t feel okay leaving his girlfriend alone with Jamie, who was only two months old and required plenty of work and attention. But Tammye and Mike Harris, along with Debbie and Mike Christopher, Kyle and Brian, and Ken and Vicky, since it was casually on the same day of Ashlyn’s birthday, so no one was willing to miss it. Even Corey, Brittany and their kids were going, and so were Liz, longtime friend of Ashlyn, and some other good friends, like the USWNT gang.

“Break some ankles” Ali told Ashlyn giving her a good smooch before the short haired woman left the house to keep going. Ashlyn chuckled against the kiss.

“Aren’t you supposed to be telling me to play safe and be careful?”

“That too.” Ali kissed her again “Enjoy that birthday Brick Wall Harris.”

“I will. You too super wifey.” Ashlyn chuckled and left the house.

The supportive gang sat in one of the closest zones to the grass of the stands occupying over three rows of chairs. Ali dressed Sophie in a little goalkeeper kit with the number eleven and the surname Harris written on the back, and Sophie was overjoyed with her first time staying for an important match to support her mother. Sophie didn’t understand much about soccer, but Ali tried to explain it as best as she could.

“See that big kind of a basket honey?” Ali said pointing to the net as she sat. Sophie nodded, sitting on her lap “That’s a net. Your mama’s job is to keep the balls away from her net. The other team will also have a goalkeeper in their own net trying not to let balls in their net, but the Orlando Pride, our team, wins if we manage to get more balls in their net than they get in mama’s net. You understand?”

“Balls off mama’s net.” Sophie gave a nod putting what she called ‘game face’ which was a ridiculous imitation of Ashlyn’s face in the advertisement spots. Kyle had painted her face blue and purple, the Pride’s colors, and she looked adorable. The whole gang wore Pride’s colors and Ali had gone as far as to steal one of Ashlyn’s jerseys.

“What’s up people?” Ashlyn chuckled getting to them while putting on the tape on her wrists. She was on the other side of the railing that separated them from the pitch, right in front of Ali and Sophie, and chuckled at the gang’s cheers.

“Mama up!” Sophie extended her tiny arms to Ashlyn “I help!” Ashlyn grinned.

“Do you want to help me keep the balls out of the net Sophie?” Ashlyn asked, and Sophie got very serious and nodded firmly “Honey I’d love that, I’m sure you’d make things easier, but it’s against the rules to get help. But hey, do you know what you can do to help?”

“What?” Sophie asked.

“When the ball gets close to me, you cheer very loud so I hear you okay? That helps a lot.” Ashlyn winked at her daughter, who smiled and nodded.

“I pwomise mama.” Sophie said. Ashlyn smiled and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and a peck on the lips to Ali.

“I’m going to warm up a little. Have fun!” Ashlyn winked at Ali and waved at the rest before jogging to join the rest of the team on the pitch.

The beginning of the match was rather calm for Ashlyn, who only stepped forward a few times getting out of the box mostly out of boredom. The forwards and midfielders of both teams, however, seemed to be in a constant battle, and a few stops due to injuries in both teams were made. Ali just told Sophie the players were tired and feeling a bit sick so they got substituted sometimes. And when a nose got broken, she discreetly distracted Sophie so she didn’t see anything that would cause her nightmares. But she saw the distress in Ashlyn who, as a captain and as the oldest of the team felt responsible for the teammates’ safety and spoke with a referee a couple times. Minutes before the end of the first half, the Pride scored 1-0. When the second half started, the Courage was pissed off and going nasty, life if the coach had given them an angry talk in the half time. The Pride was tired after so much effort in the first half and the Courage started reaching Ashlyn like bullets, but she stopped all the attempts. Finally, one ball went in and a bit later, Rose scored a PK and they were winning 2-1.

“This is nasty.” Kyle frowned watching the match.

“It reminds me of American football.” Brian added, his hand intertwined with Kyle’s.

There was a collective gasp in the stadium when Ashlyn got tackled down forcefully and stayed for a couple seconds lying on the grass before she was helped up by Whitney.

“Mama tired?” Sophie asked Ali looking at her with her big innocent eyes.

“Yes sweetie, mama is a little tired I think.” Ali hugged her daughter close and kissed her on the cheek from behind. 

“Don’t worry sweetie.” Mike Harris, sitting close, squeezed Sophie’s hand lovingly “Mama is alright, she’s tough like a shark!”

“Rawr!” Sophie did her sharks impression and Mike chuckled. Ali exchanged a look with Ashlyn, who nodded at her and smiled a little in reassurance, giving her a thumbs up. Ali side smiled and gave her a nod. It was their way of checking on each other when they couldn’t go and ask directly.

There were only five minutes of match left, so Ali figured she could calm down now. After the match there would be the ceremony where they gave a few NWSL awards and the medals, and that would be nice to see, great birthday present for Ashlyn.

It was minute 86 of match when Ashlyn jumped to hit a ball away with her head and an angry player of the courage gained herself a red card by running and jumping on Ashlyn from the side, hugging her with her arms and pushing her to the ground, falling on top of Ashlyn. That was, of course, completely against the rules and the ‘boos’ and complains were fast to follow. And then the player sat up and gave Ashlyn a solid punch in the face.

“HEY!” Ali roared getting up after moving Sophie to Mike’s arms. Ali grabbed the railing with both hands with her eyes wide fixed on Ashlyn, who lied on her back with her hands over her face. Whitney, the referee, and another player, separated the player who had attacked Ashlyn from her and forcefully pushed her off the pitch, where security took care of her. Immediately the medical team and a bunch of both team’s players ran to Ashlyn, surrounding her to the point where they couldn’t see her anymore. Such unsportsmanlike behavior was rarely seen, although Ali had seen a few players get punched, which was always sad to see “I swear to God if that bitch has caused the minimal damage to that beautiful face…”

“Sh… Sophie is right here.” Kyle hugged her from behind. Ali was standing up with the help of the railing and stared in Ashlyn’s direction as if her glare could go through the people.

Finally after a few anxious minutes the multitude cleared and Ashlyn was standing up on her own feet with a face mixture of anger and disappointment and hurt. Her nose had bleed but it was clean now and at least for what Ali could see, didn’t look broken. Her cheek looked a bit bruised, but that was it. The hand of the girl who punched her looked worse and Ashlyn wasn’t called Brick Wall for nothing. Ashlyn looked at Sophie with anxious eyes and smiled waving at her. Sophie waved back enthusiastically.

“Are you okay?” Ali mouthed locking eyes with Ashlyn, who nodded. However, for the remaining minutes of the game, Ali saw Ashlyn wince a few times and move like there was definitely something wrong, but she didn’t get substituted and the defenders kept the other team at bay with pure anger.

After the ceremony, where Ashlyn only looked a bit fresher with her award and the champions medal in her neck, Ashlyn went to Sophie and took her into the pitch for a bit, although Ali noticed she definitely moved weird.

After the whole thing, the team had to stay for a while longer to get showered, change, relax a little… so Ali took the gang back to their big house, where they had organized a dinner in the garden, with candles here and there and tons of food. Ashlyn came with Whitney, Sydney and Crystal a while later.

“What’s wrong?” Ali went straight to the topic after Ashlyn came downstairs from kissing Sophie goodnight. Ashlyn sighed and lifted up her shirt, showing her bruised ribcage.

“Already made a quick trip to the hospital, one fracture in a rib.” Ashlyn explained “Hurts, but I’m okay, it heals on its own. They say it’s a tiny fracture, only hurts because of the location. And my face is okay, only bruised.”

“I’ve never seen such dirty play.” Chris shook his head. He, Alison and Jamie had come for the dinner and would stay over the weekend, they just didn’t want to be there with the baby with the racket of a final.

“Yeah, legal measures will happen. I spoke with Tom and he said they had gone as far as to arrest the other chick, and she’ll be sanctioned severely. But I’m hungry.” Ashlyn sat for dinner. Ali sat next to her and hugged her softly.

“Happy birthday?” Ali smiled kissing her cheek.

“Damn right have you seen this cake?” Ashlyn chuckled “I’m okay, really. I enjoyed the game.”

“I loved that stop that you made with the foot in the air” Alyssa said and soon the two goalkeepers were immersed in a goalkeeping talk.

Ali contemplated Ashlyn for a while. The way she and Alyssa would behave like sisters, scolding each other a little sometimes, the way her eyes brightened more when talking about her passions, the way she’d laugh despite having a broken rib, the way she’d gesture, the way she’d pay so much attention to Alyssa. It made Ali fall in love all over again. That night, after Ali carefully gave Ashlyn her private birthday present, they snuggled together, nude.

“How does thirty-seven feel like?” Ali asked. Ashlyn chuckled, looking down at her thirty-eight year old wife.

“Pretty well. Calm.” Ashlyn sighed passing her fingers through Ali’s face lovingly “I wish I had spent a bigger part of those with you but I’m also thinking we still have over fifty years together and somehow that doesn’t seem enough.”

“Hey” Ali kissed her shoulder “it will never be enough but we can always meet again in our next life. Deal?” Ashlyn chuckled and high fived her.

“Deal.”

The next day, Ashlyn felt like shit. Her muscles were yelling, her rib, that she had forgotten about, gave her such a reminder of its fracture when Ashlyn went to shower in the morning that she yelled a word Sophie should never hear again. And her face felt swollen.

“It was just a heavy punch stud” Ali chuckled putting some ice on her cheekbone to see if the swelling would go down, even if it was already better than the day before.

“Thank God now’s the off season.” Ashlyn sighed.

“Well Kyle’s still going to kill you if you have this face by his wedding.” Kyle’s wedding ended up being scheduled for late October in Hawaii, where Brian and he met.

Ashlyn sighed again and looked at Sophie, who was sitting in her high chair. Sophie wasn’t a morning person, just like Ashlyn, and she tended to be quiet in the morning and overly affective, like Ashlyn pretty much. So she sat on her high chair drinking her baby bottle that now she could hold with her own tiny hands, and supporting her head on her hand with her eyes half closed. Sometimes she leant on the small table of the high chair while playing with tiny dinosaurs, her little obsession, while babbling. Ali and Ashlyn had supposed the sperm donor was a paleontologist or something. That morning she wasn’t even babbling, too worn out from the day before.

“Do you have to go to work?” Ashlyn asked Ali.

“Yeah” Ali nodded “but your family is here to help with the little one.” Ali said. Chris, Alison and Jamie were sleeping in the guest’s room, Debbie and Mike in the little office, where they had a sofa that was in reality a bed with back and a drawer-bed under it, so when pulled out there were two individual beds, and Tammye was in the sofa-bed of the living room. Whitney had put Mike Harris and Ashlyn’s cousin’s family in her guest rooms, Kyle and Brian were staying with Alex and Serv, and Ken and Vicky went to a hotel close by. It was Sunday so no one was hurrying up to get up, but Ali had to go to the office and get some paperwork ready, her work-pal, Lily, coming to get her in a bit. They sometimes worked on Sundays so things were ready to visit the places for the events on Monday, but they always had a day free per week, either Sunday or Saturday, sometimes both. It was also a flexible job and if Ali wasn’t needed, she wasn’t sent to the office to do nothing. Ali pretty much went when she felt she needed to get things ready.

“Good morning” Tammye said cheerfully, her glasses on point and a robe over her pajama as she entered the kitchen “Hello pretty girl!” Tammye leant to smooch Sophie, who chuckled a little.

“Good morning mom” Ashlyn chuckled. She sat on a stool next to the kitchen island with a hand cupping a mug of coffee. She had her short hair pointing in all directions, her glasses on, a sharks t-shirt and shorts. Ali stood next to her putting her own empty mug of coffee in the sink and the cloth she had used to wrap the ice she had applied on Ashlyn was now on the counter. Ali wore a loose tank top and shorts, her hair up in a messy bum and mascara already on her face. After nineteen years together Ashlyn had barely seen Ali without mascara four or five times, and some of them had been in the hospital.

“Good morning Tammye.” Ali smiled kissing Tammye on the cheek as Tammye put an arm around her hips. “Slept good? Hope we didn’t wake you up.”

“Oh yeah, that has to be the best sofa-bed I’ve ever slept on, and don’t worry I’m sure you didn’t” Tammye smiled content “how are those legs feeling today?”

“Pretty good, gonna take it easy today though. I’m going to go get ready.” Ali added looking at Ashlyn, who nodded. Ali rubbed Sophie’s hair before walking upstairs.

“How are you doing honey?” Tammye asked stroking Ashlyn’s hair lovingly.

“I’m okay.” Ashlyn side smiled and got up to pour some coffee to her mother “We’re going for lunch with everyone today right?”

“Yeah, that’s what we planned.” Ashlyn said.

“And what’s up with you munchkin? You look so sad.” Tammye stroke Sophie’s face.

“She’s tired.” Ashlyn looked at her daughter “We had to wake her up because she gets pissed if any of us leaves the house without telling her, and since Ali has to work…”

“Aw, she’s adorable.” Tammye took the baby up and sat on a stool with her on top. Sophie immediately cuddled into her grandma and closed her eyes and Ashlyn smiled softly caressing her hair.

 


	28. Hawaii

It was the day after Kyle and Brian’s wedding and Ali, Sophie and Ashlyn were hanging out in the Hawaiian beach enjoying the calm and quietness. They were trying to build a sandcastle in the moment.

“It was a nice ceremony wasn’t it?” Ali commented as she observed Sophie trying to cave a lake for the castle.

“It was” Ashlyn nodded “this is cool too though. I mean, who would’ve thought we’d end up sitting here with a baby building a sandcastle.” Ali chuckled.

“Me, a dozen times?” Ashlyn looked up at her, surprised.

“Really?” Ali nodded “Wow. That’s pretty cool.”

“Didn’t you?” Ashlyn shrugged.

“I’ve daydreamt but for some reason it never included sandcastle building. Although it did include toddler surfing.” Ali laughed “Hey, we should start trying for number two.”

“What?” Ali looked up at her, surprised. Ashlyn shrugged.

“I’m in the offseason and I’m old. I want to take advantage of our youth.”

“Ash that’s great!” Ali grinned “I’m ready, let’s do this.” Ashlyn grinned.

“For real?”

“Sure!” Ali grinned kissing her on the lips.

“Well that’s pretty great because…” Ashlyn seemed nervous and she cleared her voice, looking down “I’m pregnant.”

“Excuse me?” Ali didn’t think she had heard properly.

“I’m pregnant.” Ashlyn repeated. Ali stopped doing anything and looked at Ashlyn puzzled and with her heart beating strongly in her chest.

“What?!” Ali asked, her eyes wide. Ashlyn gulped and looked up at her.

“I uhm... back in early September I just… I really wanted to add up. And I knew at some point you’d want to, too, so I figured, it takes forever to get pregnant anyway, I mean Sophie was the fourth attempt. And I thought if I started things up early then when you were ready, I could get pregnant easily, so I went to the doc behind your back and started the hormonal treatments and stuff and I researched more and saw there are a few things women do to improve her chances like certain vitamins and stuff. So I did it.” Ali’s jaw was lower every time, her eyes wider. Ashlyn bit her lip nervously “Then the doc said I could get inseminated already, but I didn’t want to choose a donor without you and I didn’t want to get inseminated with you by my side. But I never thought it would work in the first attempt, it never crossed my mind, I just thought well, this way I’ll start getting ready for it and maybe I can get pregnant by Christmas and give you one amazing present right? But it worked. And uhm the other day when I got injured, I didn’t want to say anything but I was scared the baby was hurt, even though I didn’t even suspect I was pregnant then. I told no one, it was more of a little personal experiment. So after you guys left I took Whitney and explained her the situation and she drove me to the hospital, that’s why I went without you. And they confirmed I was one month, now two months pregnant and the baby is fine. The painkillers they gave me? are special for pregnant women. And they were my excuse not to drink in the wedding.”

Ali stood up and walked slowly to the water, looking at the horizon with a hand covering her mouth. Ashlyn looked at her anxiously and Sophie did too. Ashlyn finally got up and walked the mere couple meters that were between them and Ali, hugging her from behind, but Ali flinched and pulled apart. Ashlyn looked at her frowning with a hurt expression, but Ali had a weird expression she couldn’t even decipher.

“No, Ash… just… not right now okay? I need space.” Ashlyn nodded slowly and went back to Sophie. Ali felt bad for hurting her but she was overwhelmed and didn’t even know how to feel or how to process.

Back in the hotel Ali still hadn’t spoken a word to Ashlyn, so Ashlyn went for a walk on her own. She thought about going to the beach but then she figured it would be the first place Ali would look for her and she didn’t feel like she wanted to be found for a while, so she decided to rent a bike and went to the mountains following the biking route. There, she sat on a rock and sighed enjoying the views. She caressed her abdomen slowly, feeling a knot in her throat. She felt so guilty. She knew she shouldn’t have done that without consulting Ali or making her a part of such a special process. She had just left Ali out of the whole thing acted behind her back.

“Don’t worry little one” Ashlyn murmured “I’m going to fix this with mommy. You’re going to be fine. I won’t let you down too.”

Back at the hotel she found Ali in their suite’s sofa.

“Sophie is asleep, we already had dinner.” Ali said without looking at her. Ashlyn sighed walking to Ali.

“Alex, please… talk to me.” Ashlyn said, her voice breaking in the end as the knot in her throat got too big. Ali sighed and pinched the top of her nose before looking at Ashlyn, her own eyes tearful with emotion.

“I am Alexandra Harris, Ash, I am your wife, I have your freaking surname even, I live under your same roof, we have a daughter together. And you… you think is okay to go behind my back and get fucking pregnant Ash? As a ‘personal experiment’? Ashlyn, a baby is not a little experiment, what the hell were you thinking? This is a responsibility, a major compromise, what if I had said I didn’t want one yet?” Ali said trying in vain not to raise her voice.

“Ali, I know, I’m so sorry I know what I did is so wrong in so many ways” Ashlyn rambled “I’m sorry, I don’t know what got over me I wasn’t thinking…”

“Damn right you weren’t!” Ali stood up and paced around the room “And you know the worst is not that! Is not this stupid, irresponsible decision you made. The worst is” Ali turned around, her eyes clearly teary “you stole something from me Ash.” She nailed her finger in her own chest “For all I know is like if you had cheated on me, slept with some guy and came home pregnant. You kept me away from my child’s beginning, you stole my chance to be involved with it from the beginning, you took it away from me! How would you have felt if I refused to have you there when I started the whole process with Sophie? Fuck Ash our way to do things is already not as special and much colder because we have to go to a doc, to a lab to get things done instead of some pretty romantic night both of us alone. And I hoped to at least be there. Not be shut out. And you took that away from me. You took something incredibly special away from me just because you were playing around. I won’t get to be pregnant with it, or birth it, that was literally one of the little things I could be involved with, the donor election, the insemination, the doc visits, the first ultrasounds… And I…” Ali bit her lip and sniffled “I don’t know how to forgive that but you’re going to have to give me time Ash. I love that baby, I do, and I won’t have more moments stolen with them, I won’t be kept away in the dark a single time more, that is my child in there. But I can’t even look at you right now. I would’ve never expected this from you of all people. So now get the fuck out of here and to our bed, you’re pregnant so you get the bed and I get the sofa.” Ali sighed passing a hand through her face. Ashlyn nodded knowing if she tried to speak she’ll crumble and walked past Ali to their bedroom. Before she opened the door, Ali grabbed her and knelt, pulling Ashlyn’s t-shirt up and pressing her lips against the skin below the bellybutton “I’m sorry little one. I love you, sleep good and behave for mama okay?” Ali stood up and went to the suite’s small kitchen. Ashlyn sniffled and got into their bedroom.

In the morning, Ashlyn’s hormones and the situation had her overly depressed and wishing nothing but to be in bed, but they had to pack things and get to the airport to go back home. Ashlyn wondered how they were going to stand the ten hours of flight to Orlando in that situation. Ali would speak to her, but only when it was necessary or to give Sophie a sense of normality, and wouldn’t be affective towards Ashlyn, which was killing her. Ashlyn decided to just shut up and accept whatever Ali threw to her.

“Do you want the window Littlefoot?” Ashlyn asked Sophie as they got to their seats in the plane.

“Sophie has to sit between us, so we can both pay attention to her remember?” Ali intervened.

“You’re right, sorry.” Ashlyn looked down.

“I will take the window so you can be in the corridor side and get faster to the bathroom if you get nauseous or something.” Ali said, passing to her seat holding Sophie’s hand.

A picture that had seemed so beautiful in the flight to get there like Sophie over enthusiastic looking through the window and Ali smiling and pointing to things for her now caused Ashlyn a knot in her throat so she just got comfy putting her blanket over herself and her arms around her belly, and closed her eyes. The sounds slowly seemed more and more distant until she fell asleep.

“Mommy we home?” Sophie asked.

“No baby, we are in Hawaii, a different country. But now this plane is going to take us back home, in Orlando.” Ali smiled at her daughter kissing her cheek “Come on, time to sit properly and put the seat-belt on.” She turned around to put Sophie on her seat and then noticed Ashlyn’s eyes were closed and she hadn’t put on her seat-belt. She got Sophie all sorted out and then patted Ashlyn’s thigh “Ash, the seat-belt. Ash…” but Ali realized her wife was sound asleep. Ali side smiled slightly and got up, sighing and carefully putting Ashlyn’s seat-belt in place. Her heart warmed seeing Ashlyn’s tattooed arms firmly and protectively hugging herself over her lower belly.

Ali made sure that Sophie was calm during the take-off, but it wasn’t very necessary, since Sophie was anything but a scared kitten, she just got more excited as the ‘action’ started. Ali was more nervous than her one year old daughter.

“Mommy, look!” Sophie pointed to the window and Ali smiled at her enthusiasm. They had taken a super early flight and the sun was just starting to come up.

“Beautiful isn’t it?” Ali chuckled.

“Look Mr. Wilkins, the sun!” Sophie told her big stuffed shark, that she hugged. That warmed Ali’s heart. Mr. Wilkins had been the very first stuffed shark Ashlyn got while playing soccer, and it had been on her birthday the first year playing for the Western NY Flash, so it had many years and was Ashlyn’s favorite, mostly out of sentimental value. It had been a present from a little kid from Satellite that had gone to see her all the way to New York and had said ‘Here, so you have something from home while you’re gone’. It had accompanied her everywhere ever since. It was also named after Wilkins Micawber, a character from Charles Dickens’ book ‘David Copperfield’, that Ashlyn’s grandma read to her when she was little and that soon became one her favorite books and favorite characters. Ashlyn would’ve never get rid of it unless someone very important like Ali or grandma was sick, in which case Ashlyn put him to watch over them for her, and then Sophie came and Ashlyn gave him to her to sleep the very first night. Sophie grabbed it with one tiny hand and hadn’t let go ever since. Ashlyn explained her the story and to Sophie it became as sacred and special as to Ashlyn.

Three hours into the flight, Sophie was coloring in her coloring book, Ali was trying not to fall asleep with her second coffee, and Ashlyn was snoring softly.

“Baby don’t you want to sleep a little?” Ali asked Sophie. If the kid went to sleep, she could, too. She had barely slept four or five hours. Sophie shook her head and Ali sighed. She didn’t want to, but she extended an arm behind Sophie to shake Ashlyn awake. The short haired woman woke up and looked around disoriented “Ash, hey.”

“Hey, need something?” Ashlyn pretended to feel less tired than she did.

“Actually, I’m exhausted and I’m falling asleep, but I can’t because then Sophie won’t have anyone watching her. But if you’d stay awake I could sleep, so do you think maybe you can watch her for a couple hours so I can take a quick tiny nap?” Ali asked nicely. Ashlyn nodded.

“Sure, sure, no problem. Sleep good.” Ashlyn smiled a little and Ali nodded, getting comfortable and falling asleep shortly after.

However, when Ali woke up a couple hours later feeling a bit fresher, Sophie was watching cartoons with their earphones in the little screen of the back of the seat in front of her, and Ashlyn was sound asleep. Ali felt the anger rising before she could control it and she slapped Ashlyn’s thigh so hard it sounded and Ashlyn snapped awake.

“Ouch! What?” Ashlyn frowned rubbing her thigh.

“I ask you to watch over _our_ daughter for a couple hours and you, that have already slept three, can’t fucking stay awake for a bit so I can have a break?” Ali said angrily without raising her voice. Ashlyn frowned and then breathed and relaxed.

“I’m sorry I must’ve drifted off while watching the cartoons.” Ashlyn motioned towards the screen of Sophie.

“I asked you one thing Ashlyn Michelle.” Ali buffed looking away and shaking her head.

“Baby, I said I’m sorry. I’m tired, I haven’t slept much, and I’m working for two right now you know?” Ashlyn said as calmly as she could.

“Don’t remind me.” Ali murmured. Ashlyn’s eyes widened, feeling like if she had been stabbed. Even the now almost fully healed rib fracture seemed to hurt.

“It’s yours, you know?” Ashlyn murmured after a while. “I used your eggs, took them from sex without you realizing.” Ali’s eyes widened not knowing if explode in anger and disbelief or feel emotional in a good way, but anger was winning “I know that was shitty too but I wanted to have one like yours and we had discussed when I got pregnant it would be that way. And I got the same sperm donor, so Sophie and them are biologically related. I thought it would be smart if one ever needs a donor or something.” Ashlyn rambled in a whisper.

“You stole my eggs.” Ali said through gritted teeth “I don’t fucking recognize you Harris, what the fuck are you doing with your life are you trying to ruin our marriage on purpose or are you fucking out of your royal mind?” Ali snapped in a cold and contained whisper. Ashlyn’s lip quivered staring at her lap “Are you fucking listening to yourself, are you fucking nuts? I can’t believe you did all of this without fucking talking to me, for all I know you could take that baby and just raise them all alone! Fucking stealer of moments and DNA!” Ali felt herself shake in anger and got up to walk around the big plane for a while. Her words hurt like knives but Ashlyn breathed deeply and kissed Sophie’s head, looking with her at the screen. Ali didn’t exchange a word with Ashlyn in the rest of the flight, another five solid hours. Ashlyn herself couldn’t believe what she’d done, and Ali didn’t even know where to start assimilating things.

 

 


	29. Ice cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you thought I was done with the drama

The first days back in Orlando weren’t easy for the couple, that even if continued to sleep together, couldn’t cuddle anymore, since Ali would reject contact. They only pretended to be normal when Sophie was present and awake and the rest of the time Ali communicated with glares, unintelligible noises, and gestures. Ali also started to spend more time out, from her early recovery run with the dogs to improve her legs’ strength and recovery, to her incredible amounts of hours working, even when she worked home she made it clear she was working and only available for Sophie. Ashlyn understood her need for space and time to figure things out and find a way to feel okay towards Ashlyn again, but she couldn’t help but feel sadder, more anxious and more and more alone. Having nothing to do in the offseason except for taking care of Sophie and doing less sports than during the season, she found herself with too much time alone with her thoughts, away from adults that actually held adult conversations -no offense to Sophie though- and more time to depress herself. Alex was too busy with Josey so Ashlyn decided to take Sophie there while Ali was at work so she could help Alex out at the same time she had Sophie entertained and an adult.

“What you did was unbelievable Ash” Alex was saying as they sat on the verge of the pool, Sophie playing in the water with some toys, since she loved water as much as Ashlyn.

“I know” Ashlyn sighed “but what do I do Alex? I can’t go back. I can’t change things. If I could, I would but now I can’t so I can only keep doing taking care of this Harris, trying to keep the family afloat, and trying to fix things. And I don’t know how to fix it. Not only I don’t know, but I find myself, maybe with the hormonal shit or whatever, but more and sadder every day and low of energy. Sometimes I look at Ali and it feels like I can’t breathe, I’m not even exaggerating.”

“I’m afraid the only option you have is to wait” Servando, sitting with Josey next to Alex, shrugged “it sucks, but Ali needs this. We know it’s killing her too, she’s struggling, but the reason she’s struggling is because she’s in love with you, she wants you and she wants to forgive and move past this, so at least there’s that.”

“Yeah, she’s just trying to figure out how, but she’s determined to do it.” Alex added.

“I know.” Ashlyn bit her lip. She felt like she could start crying any second, but she had felt that way ever since the fight, and still hadn’t shed a tear, just bottled it all inside for Sophie “I was thinking of taking Sophie down to Satellite for the weekend, give Ali some extra everything. Sophie will be entertained with my brother and sister in law and she’ll get to see Jamie, and I’ll get to leave her with my parents and go surfing before I’m too pregnant for that.”

When Ashlyn got back home, Ali had just gotten there.

“Ashlyn” Ali walked to her. Ashlyn got nervous thinking it was time “I need to go tomorrow morning for the whole weekend, I’ve got a wedding on Sunday in Titusville and I need to be there one day early to make sure everything is on point, so you have Sophie.” Ashlyn nodded.

“Sure, about that… I was thinking if you’re leaving then maybe I could take Sophie down to Satellite for the weekend?” Ashlyn asked tentatively. Usually there would be no reservations, but they were there because of the bump they were going through.

“But the dogs have a vet appointment tomorrow morning that we’ve been waiting weeks to get so they can have their vaccines in order, and in the afternoon the guy’s coming to check the heater so it works for the winter” Ali reminded her “you won’t have time to go on Sunday and come back for Monday’s Sophie’s swimming class.” Ashlyn sighed.

“Yeah, sorry… Well, we’ll leave it for another time then, I’ll stay and get the dogs’ vaccines in order and make sure the heater is perfectly set.” Ashlyn said “I still don’t get why Sophie needs swimming classes. The girl is one, she just learnt how to walk? And plus, I’m here to teach her all about the water.”

“Well she’s one but she is in constant contact with the water and you know it scares me that she’ll fall on the pool or something in one slip and won’t know how to swim, and you said it yourself with the stairs that if we didn’t want her to fall then better teach her how to climb them properly, I’m applying the same principles.” Ali explained moving around the kitchen fixing dinner for Sophie “I’m sure you’re not a bad teacher but I feel better with her going to classes, being in contact with other kids her age, having that environment. Parents are in the pool too anyway so you can half teach her.”

“Okay, okay…” Ashlyn nodded.

“We’re in the offseason, if you want to go to Satellite you can go on Tuesday with Sophie. I have work, you don’t, so you have time. Plus that way I’m here to look over the dogs.” 

“Okay, thank you.” Ashlyn got out of the kitchen and sat to play with Sophie, who gave her one of her dolls.

“Mama, you pway Crystal.”

“I play Crystal?” Ashlyn chuckled “Hey Soph, are you naming your dolls like our friends?” Sophie smiled and nodded. Ashlyn felt her mood go up a little.

Ali said goodbye with a chaste kiss and a quick “I love you”. Ashlyn did all the tasks of the day and when Sunday arrived, she asked Whitney if she could take Sophie and the dogs out for the day so she could have a day off. Whitney, who loved to spend time with the little one, was on board right away. Ashlyn felt exhausted, emotionally, mentally and psychologically, and she finally let herself cry for an hour lying on bed. Her hormones were out of control and she was starting to blame this pregnancy of having caused all the trouble. By the time the evening came, she felt like she was dying from inside out and couldn’t even breathe. She knew she was the first responsible, but she figured if she wasn’t pregnant she could get a clean sheet to start over from scratch. So after a quick search in internet she decided it was time for an ice bag.

With tears rolling through her cheeks and sobbing uncontrollably, she filled the bathtub with ice and the coldest water that would come, got nude, and got inside of it until the water reached her neck. She started shaking right away.

Whitney came home using her own key.

“Mama, we home!” Sophie yelled happily shaking her new big stuffed bear in the air “Look wot Aunty Whit bog me!” Whitney grinned seeing the kid and closed the doors behind her. She saw the lights were all on but the house was silent, so she decided to see if Ashlyn was in the garden, as she let the dogs out for a while, but there was no one there.

“Soph honey, let’s get you upstairs and into your pajamas okay? Mama must be in the bathroom.” Whitney helped Sophie slowly climb the stairs and once the kid had changed into her pajamas, she let her playing in her bedroom, the door open in case she needed something, and went to Ashlyn’s “Ash? We’re here!” She saw the bedroom was dark but there was light coming from under the door of the en suite bathroom, so she went and knocked on the door “Ashlyn?” frowning at the absence of response, she opened the door, that wasn’t locked, and her breath caught. Ashlyn was in the bathtub, pale, her lips purple and her eyes closed “Ash!”

She yanked from the plug and put as many big towels and blankets as she could find on the floor before carefully lifting Ashlyn up and putting her down on the cloths, wrapping her up like a taco. The years of intense gym helped, as she was a veteran athlete.

“Ashlyn, hey, talk to me” Whitney sat beside Ashlyn hugging her close while drying her hair with a small towel. Ashlyn’s eyes barely opened, letting Whitney know she was alive, which made her breathe in relief.

“W…” Ashlyn whispered barely audible. Whitney grabbed her cell from her pocket and called the Carrasco’s saying a quick “Ashlyn’s unconscious, get here” before hanging up and calling the ambulance. She would’ve called 911 first, but she had to assure someone was looking after Sophie first. Whitney then lifted Ashlyn up and put her on the bed, wrapping her even more between the blankets.

“Ash! Stay up okay? Don’t close your eyes.” Whitney slapped her face softly, and Ashlyn blinked a little. Whitney ran to get Sophie at the same time the door downstairs sounded, and with her in her arms she practically flew downstairs and opened the door to find Alex, Serv, Sydney and Dom.

“Cavalry’s here.” Alex said breathless. Whitney gave Dom the baby.

“You handle Sophie, the rest up to Ashlyn’s room.” That said Whitney ran upstairs and the other three followed her.

“What’s going on?” Alex said seeing Ashlyn looking like a cocoon.

“She bathed in ice, I found her hypothermic and she isn’t responding much, apart from barely opening her eyes” Whitney explained “she had frozen water with tons of ice up to her neck, I called an ambulance but I didn’t know what else to do and Sophie was alone…” Whitney rambled.

“Okay let’s try calm down.” Sydney rubbed her back soothingly and looked at Ashlyn “I think you did a pretty good job wrapping her up, so now we can only wait for the EMT’s.”

“Serv and I can take Sophie home when the EMT’s come, you go in the ambulance with her?” Whitney nodded at Alex “Okay, I’m calling Ali.” She dialed and put the phone against her ear “Ali, emergency. Ashlyn’s in the hospital, you need to drag your ass here right now, I’m not fooling around. Okay, I’ll tell you everything when you’re here, Sophie will be with me and Serv and Whit with Ashlyn so don’t worry, they’ll be fine. Okay bye love you.” Alex hung up “Now we wait.”

“I’ll discreetly update Dom.” Serv got out of the room. Whitney sat on the bed trying to get Ashlyn to say something.

“How come you and Dom are here?” Whitney asked looking at Sydney, stroking Ashlyn’s face with one hand.

“Oh, we were having dinner together at their place, Serv’s mom is with the kids.” Sydney explained “Alex said Ash was kind of depressed so we thought of calling her to come join us but she wasn’t picking up so we thought…” her throat caught and she gulped “we thought she went to sleep early with Soph.”

“She asked me to take Sophie and the dogs for the day because she wanted to have some time for herself with all that’s going on. She said she’d maybe even hit the gym, that it would make her feel better.” Whitney said “I just came to make dinner and I found her.”

“Wait, what has been going on?” Sydney asked.

“Daughter…” Ashlyn whispered suddenly. It was barely audible, but it was there.

“What honey?” Whitney asked, on the verge of tears.

“Daught…” Ashlyn tried again, trying to keep her eyes somewhat open.

“Your daughter is okay Ash.” Alex assured. Then, her eyes widened and she looked at Whitney “Fuck! The baby!”

“What baby?” Sydney asked.

“She’s pregnant, remember?” Whitney said. Sydney’s eyes widened.

“What?!”

“Fuck, she didn’t know.” Alex murmured. Right then, the ambulance arrived.

 

 


	30. After the ice

Once in the hospital, Ashlyn was diagnosed with severe hypothermia and treatment started. They put her in blood re-warming, which was hooking her up to a machine that slowly took her blood out, warmed it up and put it back in her body. They also injected her, an IV of warmed intravenous solution of salt water to help warm her blood, and a mask of humidified oxygen to help warm up her airways and lungs. In less than an hour, Ali was there and with her present, Whitney and Alex updated Sydney, while the boys stayed at the Carrasco’s to take care of the children.

To say Ali was in shock was an understatement. Whitney had mostly recovered from the scare, although she wouldn’t separate from Ashlyn, but Ali didn’t even know where to start understanding things.

“Do you think she did it on purpose?” Sydney asked as the three sat around Ashlyn’s bed.

“I don’t know.” Ali said.

“She was very depressed.” Whitney said. Ali was starting to feel too guilty for it to be bearable. She had already cried her fair share of tears, but still.

“I should’ve kept an eye. I should’ve known.” Ali face-palmed herself.

“Well you two have been doing quite the example lately…” Whitney said “but hey, it was a hard situation and she’s good faking to be okay. You needed your time and space, you were dealing with stuff, things happened. This is not your fault Ali, I mean, I had been with her in the morning and I wouldn’t have ever thought she’d end up…” Whitney looked at her friend asleep in the bed.

“Maybe she didn’t do it on purpose. For all we know, we take ice baths constantly and Ashlyn would never… even less being pregnant, you know? She would never” Sydney said “so most likely she took an ice bath for the legs after probably going to the gym or something and she put more ice than she should and by the time she realized she was hypothermic the symptoms were already too strong to do anything, maybe she didn’t even realize what was happening, hypothermia usually surprises people.” Sydney reasoned.

“Yeah…” Ali nodded “yeah, you’re right, she would never do this on purpose and even less pregnant, it was just an accident. Plus, she’s from Florida she’s always felt the cold worse than the rest of us and probably she just thought she was exaggerating and that it wasn’t as cold as she felt it. She probably thought we’d be laughing telling her it’s just a bit of ice and in reality she was right and it was to die for.”

“You guys are right, that’s what happened. Just some unfortunate shitty accident.” Whitney smiled a little “She’d never hurt her baby or Sophie.”

“Glad the baby is okay.” Sydney sighed in relief, and Ali nodded kissing Ashlyn’s forehead.

“But there’s something off still…” Ali said suddenly, frowning “Ashlyn would never take an ice bath while being pregnant. She’s an over-worrier, she’d think it’d hurt the baby, like it almost did, and not do it.”

“Well, I guess we can only ask her when she’s up.” Whitney sentenced.

However, by the time Ashlyn woke up, mask and IVs all off of her already, it was well past nine in the morning. Ali, Whitney, Sydney and Chris, who had come right away, were sitting on chairs around the bed when Ashlyn mumbled something in her sleep and opened her eyes shortly after, frowning.

“What the fuck…” Ashlyn whispered hoarsely before coughing to clear her throat and sitting up looking around with the most puzzled expression.

“Hey baby” Ali put her arms around Ashlyn and kissed her on the cheek “I’m so glad you and the baby are okay, I love you both so much.” Ali made her best effort not to get emotional. Ashlyn grunted closing her eyes against Ali’s shoulder.

“What happened?” Ashlyn asked hoarsely. Ali helped her back on the bed and tucked her in. Ashlyn rubbed her face with a hand, keeping an arm over her eyes.

“What’s the last you remember?” Ali asked her stroking her cheek. Ashlyn retired the arm from her eyes and put it over her body, looking at Ali. It was so weird to see her so loving now, but the worry in her eyes told her it must’ve been something big.

“I…” Ashlyn sighed “I went to take a bath.”

“Ash…” Whitney bit her lip awkwardly “I found you semi-unconscious in a bath of ice up to your neck. You were hypothermic.” Ashlyn looked at her confused for a moment and then she remembered and her eyes widened for a moment. It had gone pretty wrong.

“Is the baby okay?” Ashlyn asked looking at Ali, who nodded.

“Yeah, it’s okay… it’s still too small and was well isolated, your womb was still warm enough.” Ali said, and put something out of the bedside drawer “The doctor gave me an ultrasound…” Ali said, showing it to Ashlyn, who sighed in relief “it’s really pretty.”

“Yeah…” Ashlyn gulped “I… I went to the gym and was feeling my legs kind of tight so… I took the ice bag to relax them.”

“But Ash” Ali frowned putting the ultrasound away “you know the ice baths don’t have much water, only enough to cover the legs and you have to put a shirt and cover yourself as much as possible to stay warm. And also have a phone or someone close in case something goes wrong, and only stay for a few minutes. You know this, you’re a senior.”

“Plus, you’re allergic to cold” Whitney added “why did you put more than it was necessary?” Ashlyn shrugged.

“I let the bath filling while I went downstairs to get the ice and when I got back and saw how much water was there, I figured… I couldn’t just throw away the water. And I thought if there was more water with the normal ice, it wouldn’t feel as cold? I don’t know, I’m bad at science…” Ashlyn seemed nervous and it made Ali suspicious.

“Ash, look at me.” Ali said putting a hand on her arm. Ashlyn frowned looking down “Ashlyn. Look at me.” She repeated more firmly and this time, Ashlyn obeyed “Was it an accident?” Ashlyn gulped. She shifted uncomfortably and all of the sudden, she started sobbing and she covered her face with her hands. Ali’s eyes widened “Guys, leave us alone please. Just give us half an hour, okay?” Everybody left and Ali sighed. Ashlyn was crying quite heavily, so Ali climbed on the bed and hugged Ashlyn close to her chest with arms and legs.

“I thought…” Ashlyn said between sobs “I could… start over” she added. Ali felt her stomach drop and she squeezed Ashlyn tighter, closing her eyes shut to keep the tears at bay “I just wanted to start over Al… I… needed you… to love me… again.”

It took a few minutes, but Ashlyn finally calmed down. Ali separated just enough to clean her face with her hands, and she kissed her forehead before pressing their foreheads together, her hands cupping Ashlyn’s face as Ashlyn breathed to calm down.

“I’m so sorry Ashlyn. I know I should’ve kept an eye on you, I shouldn’t have been so rough, so harsh, so distant… I never stopped loving you, never.” Ali sighed, stroking her cheeks with her thumbs “You are the love of my life. You’re my endgame. And okay, this isn’t the way I wanted the baby to happen but I want this baby, I love this baby. If something had happened to either of you… I don’t know what I would’ve done. I’m not angry anymore, Ash. I’m ready to do this right. This baby isn’t a problem and you apologized for your mistakes and I am done punishing you. Now it’s time to hold each other and be the family we’re meant to be, love.”

“I’m sorry Alex…”

“Sh… you don’t have to apologize anymore. Neither of us meant for things to go this way, but it’s going to be okay. We’re together, we’ll be okay.” Ali kissed her forehead “Baby… I realize you’ve been seriously struggling… I’m sorry I wasn’t around. I’m sorry I left you to it all alone. Was it depression baby? Did it get bad again? Was it me?”

“It’s… I don’t know… maybe hormones? I just felt so guilty I couldn’t sleep. And I missed us, I wanted you, and I felt so alone I couldn’t breathe. I… I don’t know. It just got dark but I didn’t want you to think… to be disappointed on me further…”

“God, I’m sorry baby.” Ali hugged her again “I will never do this to you again, I swear. I’m such a stupid person.”

“You’re not stupid.” Ashlyn frowned “It’s okay… I get it. We didn’t know what to do with ourselves but you found a way to forgive me and be back… and that’s all it matters to me. You were struggling too…” Ali nodded, kissing her head before pressing their foreheads together again.

“So… were you… were you trying to… commit…” Ali couldn’t bring herself to say it, but Ashlyn shook her head.

“I read it online… it wasn’t to kill myself Alex” Ali relaxed for a moment, until Ashlyn started to cry again “it was to kill the baby!” Ashlyn groaned between sobbing, and Ali froze. Ashlyn’s cries held so much pain and suffering “I’m a monster! I’m a horrible… how could I… how could I!” Ashlyn brought her hands to her hair.

Ali put Ashlyn’s hands to her lap and looked sadly at Ashlyn. She was truly hurting, truly suffering, and Ali’s heart broke at the sight. Ashlyn’s short hair damp stuck to her face, that got redder the harder she sobbed.

“Ash it’s okay, I’m not angry. I don’t love you any less.” Ali breathed deeply, getting a bit desperate “Baby, calm down please… don’t be hard on yourself, you’re no monster. You’re not okay, you’re struggling, you’re obviously going through a lot, you’re in no control of your emotions and it just got out of hand, it’s not your fault. You had good intentions, you were just trying to resolve a bad situation, you weren’t on your right mind…” Ali hugged her tightly and tried to soothe her drawing circles on her back and humming a song softly. That did the trick and Ashlyn was soon a dead weight on her shoulder. Ali could tell she was exhausted and emotionally and mentally drained mostly, so she helped her get comfortable in bed and snuck in it next to her, wrapping her arms around her. Soon, they both fell asleep.

Ali woke up first around twenty minutes later, and carefully moved out of the best. She tucked Ashlyn in and kissed her forehead. She opened the door of the bedroom and to her surprise, in the seats of the corridor there was Whitney, Sydney, Alex… but also Serv, Dom, Kyle, Brian, Chris, Tammye, Mike and Deb. Plus, Ashlyn’s old good friends Liz Clabaugh and Niki Cross with her wife Molly. She greeted them and noticed they were tense.

“Ashlyn’s sleeping” Ali said “Where’s Sophie?” She added.

“Alison is with her” Chris said “we just arrived. Ali, did my sister try to kill herself?” He asked straight away. Ali gulped crossing arms over her chest. She had no idea how everybody had made it so fast but it was sure to call press’ attention.

“No” Ali answered, and noticed the gasps of relief. That’s why everyone had made it so fast, they had thought Ashlyn had tried to kill herself “it’s a long story and I’m not sure I’m supposed to tell it, but well, I guess there’s not another choice. But guys, this can’t leave this group. At all, with the exception of Alison and family of course. No one else has to know.” They all nodded and Ali told them everything, from the pregnancy fail to the last conversation with Ashlyn. At the end, the faces told it all.

“She’s obviously not okay I mean…” Niki sighed.

“Yeah well” Ali breathed deeply “we’re getting our shit together so everything’s going to be okay. I called my boss already and I’m taking a couple weeks off to make sure we get out of this shithole. Now, Chris can you call Ali and tell her to come with Sophie? We’ll sneak her pass security somehow, Ash needs her.” Chris nodded grabbing his phone “Now please, erase the pity looks, don’t even think about giving her a hard time, let’s just try to lighten the mood okay?”

They all got inside the room, where Ashlyn slept for a while longer. The doctor came after a while to talk with Ali and when Ali came back into the room Ash was eating jelly and Niki was telling her something about a match, and they all seemed more relaxed. Ashlyn turned to look at Ali and smiled a little.

“They gave me jelly” Ashlyn said child-like.

“I see” Ali chuckled sitting on the feet of the bed “does the baby like jell-o?”

“Yup” Ashlyn nodded and patted her belly “loves it. So is the doc letting me go?”

“Tomorrow” Ali answered “they’re keeping you today just in case. For all they know, this was an accident and that’s going to be the official version outside the family.” Ali assured.

“Thank you” Ashlyn shrugged “I wouldn’t want everyone to mingle. I’d rather bury this in the past.” Ali nodded.

“Yeah, I’d rather too. But you need to see Gregory alright?” Ashlyn nodded. There was a knock on the door and Alison, who had already been updated on the phone by Chris, came in with Sophie in her arms.

“Mama, mommy!” Sophie yelled and the second she was put on the floor, she ran to Ali, who scooped her up, kissed her, and put her in Ashlyn’s arms. Ashlyn hugged her tightly covering her in kisses.

“Littlefoot!” Ashlyn squeezed her tightly and Sophie giggled “are you okay muffin?”

“Yeah” Sophie nodded “no play with Jamie cos Aunty said he’s with he’s other grams, but Aunty plays.”

“Aunty Ali played with you?” Ashlyn chuckled as Sophie nodded “That’s so cool! What did you play?”

“Ball, and with S’little and Kriegs.” Ali smiled kissing her head.

“That’s a lot of playing munchkin” Ali said satisfied turning to look at Alison “thank you sweetheart.”

“All good.” Alison smiled leaning to kiss Ashlyn’s forehead “You good?”

“Yeah, Jamie?” Ashlyn asked.

“He’s good, a fatty little sleepyhead.” Alison smiled.

“Mama, home?” Sophie asked.

“I’ll go home tomorrow baby girl. I’m staying here tonight though. But mommy will hang out with you.”

“Why you here?” Sophie asked, curious.

“I’m a little sick” Ashlyn shrugged “but I’ll be okay in no time.” Sophie frowned and pointed to her bag, that Alison had brought.

“Mr. Wilkins!” Mike, who was closer to it, opened it and pulled the shark outside. He chuckled handing it to Ashlyn, who gave it to Sophie. “No, you!” Sophie gave it to Ashlyn “Makes me feel better. Now you.” Ashlyn grinned.

“You want me to have Mr. Wilkins today?” Sophie nodded “Aw, thank you so much love! I already feel a bit better.” Sophie grinned.

“Hey Soph, you know how Uncle Chris is mama’s brother and Uncle Kyle is my brother right?” Ali said rubbing Sophie’s back. Sophie nodded “And you know how much we love each other and how much fun we have with our brothers right?” Sophie nodded again, snuggled into Ashlyn “How would you feel about having a brother or a sister yourself?” Sophie frowned in confusion.

“Another baby?” Sophie asked.

“There would be another baby in the house, yeah” Ashlyn said “tinier than you. Like this tiny” Ashlyn gestured “but he or she would grow up just like you too and when it was big enough you could play with her or him. It would be a baby sleeping in mommy and mine’s bedroom, eating at our house just like you, hanging out with us, living with us… a new member to our family.”

“Oh…” Sophie put her thumb in her mouth thoughtful “baby use my toys?”

“No, the baby would have his or her own toys” Ali said “although maybe when he or she is older and you’re older too he or she wants to play with your toys, but we can tell them no if you aren’t happy with it.”

“Baby use my bed?” Sophie asked.

“The baby would sleep in your old crib. And once you sleep in a big kid’s bed, the baby could have the bed you have now. But you wouldn’t have to share it, the baby will just use the stuff you no longer want.” Ashlyn explained.

“Okay…” Sophie shrugged.

“Sophie honey, you’re going to be a big sister.” Ali explained “Not now, but in a while, maybe in Spring. Before your next birthday, a new baby will come into the family. Maybe a brother, or maybe a sister, we don’t know and we can’t choose.” Sophie’s mouth opened a little as she looked at her mothers.

“I be sister?”

“Sure” Ashlyn kissed her head “isn’t it nice? When I was little I had Uncle Chris to play with and he was my best playmate! Now you’re going to have such an awesome playmate too! You guys can play together for hours, and you can treat your sibling like your dolls, do their hair, give them kisses, cuddle them, putting them to bed… we can sing with the baby, watch movies together… and we can have a mini soccer team and all! So cool right?” Sophie seemed to think for a moment and then smiled and nodded.

“Fun!” Sophie grinned. Ashlyn and Ali exchanged a look of pure relief.

 


	31. Where three fit...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello I hope you're liking it so far. I just wanted to apologize because I've noticed my English and writing style wasn't so good when I wrote this, as it was years ago and I've improved tons since. Thanks!

“Alex, I’m fine” Ashlyn chuckled as Ali insisted in carrying her bride style from her bedroom to the sofa “your legs shouldn’t be doing this effort…”

“They’re good.” Ali assured. She put Ashlyn on the sofa and leant to kiss her on the lips “I love you.”

“I love you too. Why don’t you let me help?”

“No, you rest there with our baby, I’m going to take our other baby and make sure she’s ready” Ali jogged upstairs “Littlefoot, we’re leaving!” Ali opened Sophie’s bedroom door and found her playing, dressed with a little dress “Come on, we’re going to see your sibling okay?”

“Okay” Sophie stood up and reached her arms towards Ali, who chuckled and lifted the kid up to the ceiling before scooping her in her arms, kissing her.

A while later, the three sat on the waiting room of the ob-gyn ward at the hospital, Ali holding Sophie in her arms while Ashlyn rested her hands on her 14 weeks belly. She had been feeling better after the hospital, although she still struggled sometimes, and now they were waiting to find out what they were having. Who knew, maybe they were having a lizard.

“Harris?” the doctor called from the door. Doctor Kepner, their all-time obstetrician, welcomed them with a warm smile “Sophie you’re so big! It’s been so long!” the doctor smiled rubbing Sophie’s hair “such a beautiful little girl.”

“Soph, Doctor Kepner here helped mommy bring you into the world when you were born. She’s known you since mommy got pregnant with you.” Ashlyn explained Sophie with a little smile stroking her cheek.

“Hi” Sophie said shyly hugging Ali’s leg.

“Well let’s get going shall we?” the doctor commented putting the curtains so Ashlyn could change into some gown behind it “How are you feeling, any discomforts?”

“Uhm, the throwing up seems to have calmed down” Ashlyn said from behind the curtain “and the meds for balancing the hormones helped tons with my mood so… I’m better. Much better.”

“And the bobbies grew a bit too.” Ali added cheerfully.

After a little bit, they were watching the baby on the screen.

“I haven’t gotten any better at this I see” Ashlyn commented frowning as she tried to distinguish something on the screen. Ali stood close with Sophie in her arms.

“There’s a head!” Ali pointed to the screen “and… another head?” Ali frowned in confusion.

“Wait a minute… I think there are two babies!” Doctor Kepner said “Yeah, look at that! The little one must have been hiding behind the other.”

“Wait, I’m having twins?” Ashlyn’s face got pale.

“I think so, we’re going to confirm with a sonogram.” Soon, they were hearing two steady heartbeats “Yeah, and look, two heads, four arms, four legs… that’s the other body over here. Fraternal twins though, so fortunately you’ll be able to tell them apart.”

“Oh my God!” Ali grinned “Sophie baby, you’re having two siblings! You’re going to be a big sister with two little siblings!” Ali kissed Sophie’s face. Sophie frowned looking at the screen. She didn’t understand a thing.

“Alex but this can’t be, how am I gonna expel not one but two watermelons out of my vajay-jay?” Ashlyn said.

“Relax baby you’ll do just great” Ali kissed her forehead “I’ll be with you the whole time, you don’t have to worry about anything. It’ll pass faster than you think.”

“No it won’t, I’m a first time pregnant, you can’t do this to a rookie!” Ashlyn panicked.

“You’re brick wall Harris, there’s nothing you can’t do.” Ali kissed her and she relaxed a little “Don’t panic okay? It’s going to be alright! Plus, Doctor Kepner is amazing and will make sure everything is fine.”

“Of course I will” the doctor smiled warmly “they are both pretty healthy and I wouldn’t say there’s more than two. At least I can only distinguish two heartbeats. We’ll keep an eye on it though.”

“So about the gender…?” Ali asked tentatively.

“I’m afraid we’ll have to wait another month or so. Being twins, it means they’re smaller than if it was just one, so I can’t quite tell yet.” The doctor said.

“Okay, then we’ll see in a month more.” Ashlyn nodded “God, twins… Crazy.”

“You wanted a little soccer team and you’ve been heard.” Ali giggled.

However, it ended up coming like a Christmas present. It was early the day before Christmas, at a bit over four months of pregnancy. The babies were to be due in May.

“Two boys” Ashlyn grinned as she let her ass fall on the plane seat, where they got right after the doctor visit “won’t lie, I’m pleased.” Ali chuckled shaking her head as she sat with Sophie.

“Isn’t it weird though? My eggs won’t produce another princess.” Ali commented.

“Well princess powder must have been completely spent on you.” Ashlyn chuckled leaning to kiss Ali on the lips. They were flying to New York City for the festivities to spend them at Kyle and Brian’s new house with Debbie and Mike Christopher plus Brian’s parents, Reginald (Reg) and Tracey. Reg and Tracey were super nice old couple from New York. Reg had black hair and brown eyes, super pale skin, and Tracey was mulatto and had brown eyes and black hair. Tracey had been a nurse until her retirement and Reg had worked as a librarian, which explained Brian’s cultural level, that was quite good, immersed in books. Like their son, they were a kind and funny couple, easy going and with a young spirit.

“Ali, Ash!” Reg hugged the couple as they stepped into the house “how is it going?”

“Very well, how are you Reg?” Ali grinned. She loved that her brother had the kind family-in-law he deserved, that were nothing but respectful and understanding towards his issues and made her feel like even if she couldn’t be around, her brother was never alone.

“Good, thank you” Reg chuckled and noticed Sophie “hi Sophie, you’re so big Princess! You’re about to reach me!” he tickled her and she laughed squirming.

“Sistah!” Kyle yelled running to them. He hugged his sisters at once, covering them in kisses, and then threw Sophie to the air, taking her in his arms “How’s my favorite girl?”

“Good” Sophie smiled smooching Kyle on the cheek. She loved her uncles “Unka Ky new house?”

“Oh yeah Uncle Brian and I bought a new house want to see it?”

Thinking of starting off their marriage life right and having a family, Kyle and Brian Krieger had bought a beautiful, huge house in the suburbs. Kyle showed them the huge garden, the incredible swimming pool, Brian’s office, Kyle’s little filming room, the impeccable kitchen, the huge living room, their assigned bedroom in the house -a big room with en suite bathroom, a king size bed, and an individual bed with another one under it as a drawer- and other rooms around the house.

“We should probably get a new house too.” Ali commented later, as they all sat outside in the garden while Sophie played with Luna, Kyle’s big dog. Their own dogs, Satellite and Kriegs, were with Chris in Florida. 

“But I love that house!” Ashlyn frowned “It’s the house I bought there when I was first traded to Orlando, where you moved in later, where Sophie has been growing up…”

“It’s a house Ash, we make the home and Sophie is still little enough to be easily able to grow roots in another house and not even remember this one.” Ali said sympathetically “We only have one room more, and it was the guests room, but now we’re having twins…”

“Twins that will sleep with us until they’re a few months old, and that later can share a room with Sophie…”

“But eventually we’ll have to move either way. We won’t have a guest room, we will only have two bathrooms for us and three teenagers that each will want their own room, and I could use an office to work from home… plus five and two dogs? It’s kind of claustrophobic.” Ali reasoned. She was actually claustrophobic, so it wasn’t a complete joke “What do you prefer, moving now in the next five months before the babies come in, or do it later when we have to control three kids as we try grow comfortable somewhere else?”

“Alright…” Ashlyn sighed “but I’m not happy about it.”

“Growing up isn’t always flowers honey, we need to think on what’s more functional to our family. You said it yourself, we’ve lived in the same house for like six years. It was a perfect house when it was just you and me, and now it’s starting to be too small. I’ll miss it too, but the important thing about memories isn’t where they happened but with who, and we can make new ones in another house.”

“It is kind of exciting to have a new house” Brian intervened “getting to put together new furniture, re-organize stuff with fake promises of keeping the order forever…” Kyle giggled nodding “it’s refreshing. Plus now Kyle has a place to put all the filming things safely and I have a good place to work from home so I don’t have to be out that much anymore. I can practically do everything from the house.”

“You guys could move next to the beach” Deb suggested, knowing Ashlyn had always wanted that.

“Problem is…” Ashlyn sighed “I have to be close to Orlando for work. I had thought about moving but only when I was done with soccer, so we had the beach and all.”

“We can move a bit closer to the beach, the drive to work will be longer but well, at least we’ll be closer to the beach.” Ali said.

“Oh, we won’t live next to Serv and Alex anymore!” Ashlyn realized and Ali smiled sadly at her.

“Yeah well… bigger house Ash. Keep your mind on a bigger pool, with big palms and a massage bathtub, with a playroom where we can put the kids and go relax, and a basketball basket in the garden. We could even have a little gym room so we don’t have to waste time going to the gym…” Ali tried to keep it positive, and Ashlyn nodded.

“Okay but right for today let’s just focus on the idea of having twins, my head will explode if I try more today.” Ashlyn said, making Ali chuckle and kiss her.

“I can’t believe they’re two!” Debbie was cheerful.

“And Krieger” Kyle added “that’s going to be dangerous.” He laughed.

“Well I’m happy because our DNA is not even half as dangerous as the Harris one. I may remind you everyone that cutie over there is responsible for a bookshelf falling down.” Ali said, making them all laugh.

“Yeah, Harris twins would’ve been disastrous” Brian laughed.

“Hey, but at least us Harris get calmed down with a bow of Nutella” Ashlyn reasoned “the twins are going to want to get their nails painted constantly.” Ashlyn face-palmed, making everyone laugh again.

“By the way talking about kids, Brian and I have good news!” Kyle said “We’ve decided to adopt a girl!” he said cheerfully. Compliments flew instantly, everyone was happy for them.

“A niece!” Ali grinned hugging her brother.

“Well maybe” Brian said with a smile.

“We went to an adoption agency” Kyle said “and we’ve been after this baby in Thailand, she’s only six months old, she’s so cute” Brian showed them pictures on a tablet in the meantime “her name is Kannika. Her parents died and we’re fighting to bring her here.”

“She’s so adorable” Ali smiled.

“Wish you all the best guys” Ashlyn smiled at them “hey, I’m going to take a nap okay? I’m worn out.”

“Okay.” Ali accepted a kiss from her and watched her walk back inside the house.

“How are things going sweetie?” Debbie asked her daughter.

“It’s better” Ali shrugged “got my head out of my ass at least. And she seems better, and everyone down in Florida is okay. And Sophie seems fine with having a sibling, I don’t know about having two.”

“I can talk with her” Kyle said patting her thigh “she loves me and I know the advantages of having little dolls.”

Kyle stood up and walked to Sophie, who sat in the garden no longer playing with Luna, but drawing on her drawing notebook.

“Hi Princess!” Kyle said cheerfully sitting next with her “That’s such a cool drawing! Did you make it yourself?”

“Yes!” Sophie said cheerfully “Dank you.”

“Dank…” Kyle laughed “Okay, bilingual. So mommy told me you’re having two siblings, isn’t it cool?”

“I guess” Sophie shrugged while drawing.

“You know, I used to be grandma Debbie and grandpa Ken’s only child” Kyle said “it was so lonely for me. And then your grandparents Debbie and Ken, my parents, told me hey Kyle, you’re going to have a little sister, your mommy Ali” Sophie looked intently at him. He smiled at the memory. He didn’t really remember, but his parents had told him so many times it felt like a memory “I was your age and I didn’t really understand what it meant. But you know what? When your siblings are born, they’re going to be your best friends. They’ll admire you, and want to be with you, play with you, do everything you, because they’ll think there’s no one cooler than you. And they’re going to love you so much Sophie. Like I love your mommy, Ali. And she loves me so much, and wanted to be like me so much, she got into soccer because I did and now look at her, she used to be in the United States’ Women’s National Soccer Team before you were born! She’s a rock star. And I wouldn’t change her for a thing so I can tell the fact that you’re having not one, but two siblings?? I’m so jealous!!! You’re so, so lucky. And you might not see it now, but it’s the best thing that’s ever going to happen to you.” Kyle stroke her cheek lovingly.

“Unka Ky” Sophie said “mommy and mama still love me when my siblings come?” Sophie asked. Kyle smiled and nodded.

“Mommy and mama are always going to love you so hard Sophie. Plus, you’re having two brothers right? So that makes you their only Princess. And your brothers will be the Princes and they will be your dolls and your slaves a little.” Kyle rolled his eyes joking “Here’s a thing about love, Sophie. You can’t measure it. You can’t count it. It just grows and grows and when you think you can’t love more, you still do. Your mothers, they love you so very much, but their love will grow so they can love your brothers too. It doesn’t mean that suddenly they love you less, just that their love grows and includes more children than just you.” Sophie nodded. She still didn’t understand much of the fuzz, but she was happy either way.

“Okay.” Sophie smiled.

“Yeah… I was as big as you when I got your mommy as a sister, you’ll be a little bit bigger so you’ll be able to do more fun stuff with your brothers than I did! And Princess, you know I’m always there for you okay? If ever you’re sick of your brothers, or you miss some attention, you tell your moms you want to call Uncle Kyle and I’ll come to you if you need me so you can play tea party and paint our nails and dress up. Okay?”

“Okay” Sophie nodded chuckling “we paint nails?” she asked raising her hands.

“Sure thing kiddo!” Kyle high-fived her, and put her on his shoulders ‘like a horse’ before going to get the nail painting.

When Ashlyn went back to the backyard a while later after a good nap, she had to blink twice at the sight. There were some sofas and armchairs around a coffee table, and Ali, Kyle, Debbie, Tracey and Sophie were sitting with their feet on the table -except for Sophie, who couldn’t reach- and their nails were painted, both hands and feet. She had never seen Kyle with his nails painted, but she knew Kyle would do anything Sophie told him to do so it wasn’t weird. The five had sunglasses and were enjoying the sun while drinking gin tonics for the adults and juice for the kid. Brian, Mike and Reg just sat close by chatting.

Ashlyn raised her eyebrows at the sight.

“Well… okay.” Ashlyn chuckled, and ran to get a glass of juice for herself.

 


	32. Perky nose vs Mr Chubby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I hope you're liking this story so far. It will be finished very soon but I hope you've enjoyed the ride. Thank you all for your comments and for sticking with me in this one. Also, who else is dying with the Krashlyn content lately uh? Follow me in my tumblr thetrunkofthenighttraveler.tumblr.com for Krashlyn content!

“Come on Sophie, time to go to sleep.” Ashlyn tried to soothe the active kid, who was jumping on her bed, and tucked her in “If you don’t go to sleep, Santa won’t come.”

“Who Santa?” Sophie asked innocently. She was still trying to understand the concept of Christmas, since she was only five months old the first Christmas she had.

“Santa Claus comes in Christmas and puts presents under the Christmas tree, remember Uncle Kyle and Uncle Brian’s tree in the living room?” Sophie nodded “Santa will come and place presents under it.”

“Woooh!” Sophie was fascinated and made Ashlyn smile.

“But you have to go to sleep. Santa Claus is very shy and runs away when they hear noises around the house.” Ashlyn said. She hated lying to the little one, but it was a white lie in favor of keeping the magic for a few years more.

“Okay mama. I pwomise” Sophie nodded and snuggled in her bed. Ashlyn smiled kissing her forehead.

“Mommy and I will be right back. Mr. Wilkins will make sure you’re okay in the meantime.” Ashlyn assured before leaving the bedroom “Goodnight baby girl.”

“Is she asleep?” Ali asked as Ashlyn came downstairs.

“She’s on it.” Ashlyn answered and pointed at the tree, under which the family was putting presents from bags “How is it going?”

“Good, look, there are even presents for the baby. Well now that it’s two, you can just give some to one and the others to another.” Kyle commented pointing at the wrapped up boxes.

The next day, Sophie played with the ball with Kyle, Ashlyn, Brian and Ali until she was exhausted. One night during the holidays Ashlyn carefully woke Ali up.

“What?” Ali asked sleepily looking at the clock, that marked 4AM.

“Alex… I want pancakes.” Ashlyn said.

“Fuck off…” Ali said against the pillow.

“But baby you don’t understand” Ashlyn put her mouth next to Ali’s ear “the babies want pancakes. Your children, two of them, are dying of hunger and they want pancakes. Are you going to disappoint them?” Ali rolled her eyes and grunted turning around and rubbing her face. Ashlyn chuckled victoriously.

“If everyone wakes up because of the noise…” Ali whispered.

“They won’t…” Ashlyn kissed her cheek “the babies and I are eternally grateful.”

“Well, at least come and help so we’re done faster.”

After a while, they were back in their bedroom, Ashlyn rubbing her tummy pleased.

“This was great, we should do this again sometime.” Ashlyn commented. Ali glared at her and shook her head, but smirked anyway.

“Ass…” Ali murmured snuggling into Ashlyn in bed. Ashlyn just laughed, wrapping her arms around Ali.

After a calm New Year’s Eve, the family flew back to Orlando and started looking for new houses right away. Ali had pressured them into moving before Ashlyn was too pregnant, so when the time came she could relax in their new house and so the twins would arrive at a house that was already accommodated and ready. Ali had saved a bunch of money from her job and Ashlyn’s through the years, and they made sure to get a big nice house with it. Their new house was in Palm Bay, just a bit over an hour from the stadium in Orlando, which wasn’t the ideal with soccer, although it wasn’t so bad, but Ashlyn figured she wasn’t going to play for that year in the NWSL after having delivered twins, and who knew the next year, and by the time she was back to playing maybe she could stay at the Carrascos’ before the matches or training to be there well rested for the matches. The new house was worth it. Although Orlando was an amazing city, Palm Bay allowed views to the sea, which, Ali realized, was necessary for Ashlyn’s health. Now they had a private passage to a private piece of beach in their backyard behind the garden. Then there were two big pros, beside the house, they were around half an hour away from Satellite or Cocoa Beach, which was another beautiful thing, even more now that they were a big family and would need their family more. And then, it was only around three hours from Miami, where Debbie and Mike lived, which was better than from Orlando. It didn’t matter if they were farther from DC or NYC because to get there they had to take a plane either way. Ali got a big house in a pretty family neighborhood they fell in love with instantly and that had good schools and was popular for being very comfortable to families, plus also meant now Ali’s company could have more business in that zone, and Ali was named in charge of the whole zone, no longer having as much competition as in Orlando. And Ashlyn got the beach right behind her house, like she loved so much, her family super close, all of that being amazing for her mental health. She could surf constantly again, she could have her children be raised around the sea, the temperatures were even warmer… it was all good. And it was a comfortable mix between Ali’s love for the big city and Ashlyn’s love for the tiny towns around which she could walk barefoot. She wanted her children to have a similar childhood -in the good parts only- but also allowed to give them some of Ali’s life, since Palm Bay was bigger than Satellite.

Right before moving out, they got an unexpected surprise. Whitney and her husband Ryan Flanagan had decided to buy the house next to theirs in Palm Beach, wanting to be closer to Satellite, to Ashlyn, and wanting a bigger house in a better neighborhood, since in Orlando they had an apartment that wasn’t to pleasant. Whitney had barely just gotten married a year before and they were thinking of having children in a few years, so they wanted to settle down somewhere that felt right for it. And when they went to see Ashlyn’s new house and saw the for sale house next to theirs, it was an instant love.

“Well, you sure you’ll be fine?” Ashlyn asked their old neighborhood, Tim, as they went back to Orlando on the last trip to pick up their last things.

“Yeah” Tim smiled hugging her “Thanks for everything, we’ll stay in touch okay? Danny… she’s been so good. After she hit me she realized she had really fallen off the wagon and she started a rehabilitation program that has really been helping her, as you’ve seen…”

“She sure looks better.” Ali smiled “Come here girl” Ali hugged Danny too “take care.”

“Thank you guys. For everything.” Danny smiled at them and rubbed Sophie’s hair “I’ll miss you sweetheart.”

“Come on Soph, say bye to the house!” Ashlyn chuckled at her girl.

“Bye house!” Sophie waved.

The new house in Palm Beach was a dream come true. They had it reformed to their liking -even though there wasn’t much to do- so when they finally moved in around March, it was everything they could want and brand new. They had a garage with space for a couple cars and even bicycles, the whole land was fenced up with pretty walls covered in plants, which gave it a wild but intimate and cozy style. They had a pretty big frontal garden, which was okay since now their land was fenced in a way that made it pretty safe to leave the kids playing there with the dogs, since the walls would keep them safe, and it even had a porch. There was a smaller back garden with a smaller porch, a small swimming pool and a zone to sit and relax, where they put a table under an awning so they could enjoy meals outside, and in the roofed back porch they put a sofa and a coffee table for days that were too sunny to sit have afternoon snacks protected from the sun.

The house had a cozy and homey warm vibe even at night, which the family loved. It was hard to find that in big houses, but they had won the lottery with this one and it made them feel at home, truly. Even more after they filled it with photographs, art, plants and Sophie’s art. They had a big living-dining room with a fireplace and a wall TV over it, a kitchen with an island, a bathroom and a play room, all in the zero floor. The garage had so much space they put there their gym equipment so they could use it as a gym too. Then the first floor had a comfortable main bedroom with a king size bed and en suite bathroom, two bedrooms that shared one big en suite bathroom -with doors to both bedrooms- and then a couple guest rooms that had another bathroom not en suite, but pretty close anyway.

“Okay, that was the last box.” Ali breathed out with a grin as she jumped into the pool, where Ashlyn, now eight months pregnant, was playing with Sophie. They had bought some furniture to finish up their accommodations and Ali had been dealing with the last one during the morning while Ash kept Sophie entertained. The dogs ran around the pool and sometimes jumped on it.

“Yay!” Ashlyn grinned at her wife “I love you for taking care of that.”

“Only for that?” Ali chuckled tickling Sophie.

“Well, no, but I don’t want your ego to get too high missy.” Ashlyn chuckled, kissing Ali. She got out of the pool with her arms around her belly as to stabilize herself and contemplated her family with a grin. She decided to take a pic for social media, in one moment Sophie’s face wasn’t showing. ‘ _Hanging with my girls before we welcome the boyz! #housegonnagetcrazy #shitsgettingreal #sohowdoipoptwowatermelons?_ ’

One of those days, Kyle and Brian got to complete the adoption of their daughter Kannika Krieger aka Kannie. Since Ashlyn and Ali couldn’t travel with Ashlyn so pregnant, they had come to visit the girls and introduce them to the little baby girl, and they were hanging in the living room one afternoon of late April when Ashlyn noticed the very first contractions. She had had some light ones here and there for a few days, but she thought those were just isolated events from being so pregnant.

“Uhm… Alex?” Ashlyn called her attention while Sophie took a nap, Brian feed Kannie a baby bottle, and the Krieger siblings played soccer with the console aggressively.

“Yeah babe?” Ali’s eyes didn’t move from the screen. The Kriegers were pretty competitive and she wasn’t about to lose to a guy that hadn’t even played professionally.

“I think I might be in labor.” Ashlyn said cautiously. Ali dropped the controls on the coffee table and turned to look at her with worried eyes.

“What?” Ali reached a hand to her belly “are you okay?”

“Well, yeah, I think I’m in labor.” Ashlyn repeated. Kyle had stopped the game and looked at them expectantly. Brian looked over in curiosity. “Is it contraction when…?” but a strong one interrupted her and she shut her eyes close and groaned “yeah, that is definitely a contraction.”

“Oh baby” Ali smiled reaching to kiss her “awesome! Well we still have a handful of hours to go, these things are slow and even more first timers.”

“Yeah, I guess so.” Ashlyn shrugged.

“Let me know when they get closer or if you feel like pushing okay?” Ali said “I’m going to check we have everything ready.” She added getting up and jogging upstairs.

“Ugh, I’m not ready for such pain…” Ashlyn groaned leaning back on the sofa. Kyle laughed.

“Tell them to drug you up” Kyle advised.

“Good thing we’re here to look after Sophie if they have to go.” Brian smiled patting Kyle’s thigh softly, holding their baby girl with one arm.

“Aww, you’re going to get two cousins!” Kyle smiled at his daughter kissing one of the tiny feet. The baby already had her dads wrapped around her finger.

“I can’t wait to see what you do when she gets the first period…” Ashlyn joked, earning a light slap on the arm from her Krieger brother.

“Okay, everything is ready” Ali said jogging back there and stroke Ashlyn’s hair softly “I put your shark pajamas in the bag. How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay, just terrified of tearing my vagina apart.” Ashlyn said lightly, and Ali chuckled leaning to kiss her.

“I’ll kiss it better when it’s all over.” Ali promised.

“You better.”

“Ugh, girls, baby present!” Brian put his hands over Kannie’s ears and Kyle laughed.

“I can’t believe our sweet innocent child heard that.” Kyle said between laughs.

“With you as parents? She might be sweet, but not innocent.” Ashlyn joked laughing, until another contraction interrupted the party.

Finally a little after Sophie was put to bed that night, Ashlyn and Ali headed to the hospital, Ashlyn yelling obscenities and Ali humming to Taylor Swift to keep her shit together. Riley Kyle Michael Harris and Finley Christopher Kenneth Harris were born at nearly five in the morning after a long few hours of strong pushing on Ashlyn’s side.

“They’re amazing.” Ashlyn said tiredly as she looked down at the twins sleeping between her arms, Ali sitting next to her on the bed with her arms wrapped around her, pressing kissed to her forehead “They’re already killing me, but they’re amazing.”

“I can’t believe you did that, I’m so proud.” Ali grinned against Ashlyn’s temple, closing her eyes and pressing her head against Ashlyn before opening them again to look at their sons. Essentially, they looked weirdly like Kyle and Ali as babies. Krieger noses, Krieger mouths, Krieger eyes, dark brown hair. But there was a weird familiarity that reminded them of Sophie, because the three were biologically related. So they found themselves pointing out things that Sophie had and that they never realized weren’t Harris DNA.

“Believe me, my vagina will never be the same again.” Ashlyn closed her eyes enjoying Ali’s embrace and Ali laughed hugging her tighter.

“It’s okay, I love it anyway.”

“So any idea who’s who? I lost it after we repositioned them for their nap.” Ashlyn said giggling. Ali chuckled.

“Okay Finley has a less perky nose than Riley and Riley has a less chubby face.” She pointed out. Despite being fraternal brothers, they were very alike and specially being so young the differences were still hard to spot, which is why Ashlyn sighed in relief.

“Good, at least one of us can tell them apart.” Ali laughed.

 


	33. The one before last

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well pals this has been a BLAST. This is the last chapter, next is just the short Epilogue, so I just want to thank you all for being a part of this and I hope you leave many reviews!

Introducing the twins to Sophie was weird.

“This is Riley see the perky nose? And Mr. Chubby is Finley.” Ashlyn introduced me “Guys, meet your big sister, Sophie.” Sophie looked at her brothers frowning like if she was staring at aliens. She had seen newborns before, but never while being as old or while being told they were her brothers. People she was stuck with forever. She looked at them, then at her parents, then back at the twins.

“No!” Sophie said firmly, frowning. Ashlyn and Ali exchanged a concerned look before looking back at their toddler and princess.

“What do you mean baby?” Ali said ever so loving, stroking her hair “You don’t like your brothers?”

“No mine!” Sophie’s face showed pure disgust, like when Ashlyn told her she couldn’t get her nails painted before bedtime. Ashlyn looked sat at Ali, who sat on the verge on their bed, puzzled. Ashlyn was still in the hospital, it was the first afternoon of the twins and the five where in the room with their family and some friends.

“Sweetheart…” Ashlyn reached a hand to stroke Sophie’s cheek but Sophie pulled away angrily and Ashlyn stared puzzled and hurt.

“No! No wanna! Won home!” Sophie yelled and started crying. Her moms were overwhelmed and completely lost.

“Sophie, princess” Chris, Sophie’s uncle, tried to keep it calm and took Sophie up in his arms, kissing her cheek “Want to tell Uncle Chris what’s wrong?” he asked caring.

“No! Home.” Sophie directed her tearful big eyes to Chris, who looked from his niece to his sisters, apologetic. Ashlyn redirected her gaze to the babies between her arms and cuddled them closer, pressing her lips together. She felt like those babies had had it so hard to be loved, that even she had betrayed them at some point, and now she wasn’t letting them down, even if she ended up being the only person who loved them. Ali looked at Sophie puzzled and then back at Ashlyn and the twins, feeling anxious inside. She finally nodded.

“Okay” Ali conceded “Chris, would you mind taking Sophie home and looking after her please?”

“Let’s go little one” Chris took Sophie’s bag “let’s kiss mommy and mama goodbye…”

“No!” Sophie interrupted hiding her face against Chris’ neck. Ali sighed and Ashlyn pressed her lips tighter together.

“It’s okay Chris” Ali shrugged sadly “thank you bro.”

“I’ll see what I can do.” Chris said with an apologetic look kissing them before leaving.

“It’s going to be fine” Tammye said confidently rubbing Ashlyn’s back “she just needs some time.”

“Yeah” Ali nodded taking a deep breath. She looked at Ashlyn, who was focused making sure the twins’ onesie were in place.

“Can you put them in the crib please?” Ashlyn asked Ali in a whisper. Ali nodded moving first Finley and then Riley to his crib and then sitting on the bed squeezing Ashlyn’s hand as the short haired woman got comfortable in bed again “I’m okay” she assured.

“She’ll get into reason, she’s just little.” Ali assured.

“It’s fine” Ashlyn shrugged “the twins will be alright and so will Sophie, even if we have to put her in counseling for the rest of her childhood.” Ali smiled sadly and kissed her on the cheek.

“I’ll take care of this.” Ali promised.

“It’s okay a bit of friendly rivalry and jealousy” Niki Cross commented “she’ll be bitter for a couple days and then she’ll be treating the twins as if they were her babies.”

“Yeah, it’ll be perfectly fine” Kyle added “plus I spoke with her and I’m sure she’ll come around. She’s just having a hard time to understand things with her little brain.”

“Guys” Ashlyn sighed “stop it. Let her be okay? She’s not event two yet, her whole life has just changed, and yeah it hurts but I can’t even imagine how she’s feeling and none of us can take her pain away because that’d mean kicking out two family members. So just let her be.”

She was hurt, of course she was, but she was mostly suffering for her baby girl, whom she always swore to protect and take care of, and who now she could do nothing for, because that’d mean stopping two protect two kids she also was responsible for. Ashlyn understood her wife and friends were just trying to raise her spirits up and assessing Sophie as a problem they could take care of, but it wasn’t like that. Sophie wasn’t the problem. Sophie was just acting like most toddlers would if they were the favorite for her parents and suddenly they weren’t anymore.

Ali came home that night so she could tuck Sophie into bed after having dinner with her. Ashlyn and the twins were being kept in observation because the labor took many hours and the twins were a bit premature, so they wanted to make sure the three were good to go and wouldn’t be released until the morning, which meant Ali wanted to be home as much as possible so Sophie didn’t feel more stranded.

“Hello princess” Ali grinned from ear to ear seeing Sophie sitting on the floor of her bedroom surrounded by their sharks. Mr. Wilkins was there, and so was DeAndre, Oscar and Fluffy. Sophie was sitting wearing a light blue dress and her short, curly light brown hair was loose. The toddler looked up to her mother and grinned, running towards her and letting her mommy scoop her up in her arms so she could hide her face in the crook of her neck. Ali chuckled kissing her head and hugging her tightly “were you playing with DeAndre and the rest of the gang?”

“Yes” Sophie smiled pulling back to look at her mother “mommy, awe jus?”

“You want some apple juice?” Ali, used to her daughter’s mispronouncing, already was like a walking translator. Sophie nodded and Ali grinned harder at her cuteness “okay princess, let’s go get some.”

After dinner, Ali sat with everyone on the sofa. Mike Harris was staying with Ashlyn until Ali went there in a little bit, so he was the only one missing. They were watching old USWNT games and being very hipped about it. They never did that went they were playing, but now it was a big entertainment.

“Mama!” Sophie yelled pointing at the screen when Ashlyn made a save on the TV.

“Yeah sweetie, mama was the National Team’s goalkeeper for a while.” Chris smiled at his niece, holding his own son, Jamie, half asleep in his lap.

“Keepeh.” Sophie repeated zombie. The rest of the kids had either fallen asleep of long gotten bored of the game -they were older and not that fascinated at the end- and were playing nearby.

“Okay baby it’s time for me to go.” Ali said. She was going to stay and put Sophie to bed, but the girl was too happy with the match to make her go to bed so soon. Plus, she figured she’d fall asleep faster after she was worn out.

“Where?” Sophie asked.

“I’m going to make mama some company okay?” Ali hugged her tightly and kissed her “Your grandparents and Uncles will stay here with you and mama and I will be right back here in the morning. I promise.” Ali kissed her again.

“Okay.” Sophie nodded smooching her face.

“I love you.” Ali said putting her on the sofa and getting up.

“Owe you!” Sophie giggled.

“Goodnight.” Mike hugged Ali before leaving the room “They’re sleeping.” Ali nodded and smiled getting into the room and closing the door. The room was dark and Ashlyn was all cuddled snoring softly. Ali leant over the two little hospital cribs that were near the bed, where the two babies slept well tucked in.

“Hello boys” Ali leant to kiss their tiny faces “sleep well. Mommy’s here.”

“Al?” Ashlyn whispered huskily.

“Shh…” Ali moved to sit on the bed and stroke her cheek “go back to sleep.” She whispered softly. Ashlyn nodded softly and seconds later she was back to sleep.

When the whole family was home in the morning, Sophie would be fine towards Ashlyn and Ali, and then pretend the twins didn’t exist. Which lead to a full blown tantrum when during lunch she demanded to be held by Ashlyn and she said no because she had both twins hooked on both her boobs, so Sophie cried and yelled she didn’t ‘owe’ her anymore, and Ashlyn sighed and went back inside the house -they were in the garden- with the twins, who were starting to get upset with the crying.

“Sophie Madeleine Alexandra Harris!” Ali raised her voice when she had had enough. They usually never had to raise it with Sophie -they were also very adamant in not yelling in the house unless it was during sex or because someone was stuck in the bathroom and had no other way- but now it was far too much “Shut up!” Sophie got such impression, she stopped yelling and she sobbed silently. Ali sighed pinching the top of her nose “Sophie, your brothers need your mama right now more than you do. And you’re being selfish right now so when your mama comes in, you’re going to apologize, and you’re going to apologize to your brothers too and that’s the end of the matter, understood?” Ali was losing it and it was a relief to see Sophie nod silently. But Ali knew the problem wasn’t fixed, not while Sophie was feeling so shitty. Luckily, Ashlyn came back shortly after and Sophie ran and hugged her leg crying and muttering apologized. Ashlyn sighed stroking her hair.

“Okay the twins are sleeping, you’re coming with me.” Ashlyn took her up in her arms and hugged her tightly, covering her in kisses as they sat on Ashlyn’s chair. Sophie calmed down and traced the tattoos over Ashlyn’s arm, her free hand moving to her mouth so she could put her thumb inside.

As the rest of the family proceeded to continue with their lunch, Ashlyn helped Sophie finish her plate and once it was over, took her on a little walk around the garden and they sat in their swings, Sophie on her lap. Ashlyn playfully poked her arm and Sophie giggled clumsily trying to slap her hand away.

“Are we still best friends?” Ashlyn asked Sophie, who nodded profusely “then, will you tell me why you don’t like your brothers?” Sophie shrugged.

“I want mama.”

“You have mama. I’m not going anywhere Soph” Ashlyn kissed her “I promise you.”

“But you with them aways.”

“I know… hey, have I ever told you I was jealous of you when you were born? Mommy had you all the time. You always wanted her. She was the one who could breastfeed you and feed you for a while, and the one you wanted most of the time. And I wanted mommy too, I missed her.” Ashlyn commented “But you needed her more because you were so tiny. And then you got biggie so I could play with you and do more stuff with you and then us three together. This is a bit like it, sweetheart. Your brothers need me more now, I am the only one who can breastfeed them and they just really want to be with me for a while. But soon, they will be biggie and your mommy will be able to do more for them than now so I can be more with you, and then you will be able to do things with them too. Soon, us five will be doing a ton of things together. But until they’re a little bit bigger, we need to wait and be patient.”

“But I want mama and mommy.”

“I know.” Ashlyn sighed “You’re going to want your brothers too baby. They just don’t seem fun yet, but I promise you they are. They will be more your friends than your cousins are!” Sophie’s eyes widened.

“Them play sand?” Sophie asked pointing at her sandbox.

“Yeah, they will play with the sandbox. And with the ball, and in the pool!” Ashlyn told her excitedly. Sophie giggled and Ashlyn smiled wide looking at her “Littlefoot, want to come with me to check on them?” Sophie nodded and Ashlyn chuckled “Okay, climb on my shoulders, the train is going upstairs!”

Sophie giggled as Ashlyn helped her on her shoulders and Ashlyn made a train noise with the girl’s help as they went to Finley and Riley’s bedroom. There, the two sleeping boys were snuggled in their big crib.

“Hello” Sophie whispered leaning forward. Ashlyn smirked and pulled her down in her arms, and then helped her lean over the crib. Sophie looked at them intently “they sweep?”

“They’re sleeping, yeah.” Ashlyn nodded. Sophie nodded and reached to kiss both brothers softly, making Ashlyn feel warm inside and smile wide.

“Sweep drams.” Sophie said sweetly. She patted them clumsily with a hand, and smiled at Ashlyn “They good.”

“They’re good?” Ashlyn chuckled “awesome. Now who wants some ice cream?”

 


	34. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all who have stayed with me until the end. This was a long ride and I hope you loved reading it as much as I loved creating it.

“Riley Kyle Michael and Finley Christopher Kenneth Harris, what have you done now?” Ali yelled as she surprised her seven year old boys standing with their dogs in the living room, whose floor was covered in pillow stuff, the cushions of the sofa all over the place and streamer all over the place too. It was common for them to get wild and they loved them, but sometimes they really made them crazy.

The two kids stood with their Orlando Pride gear on, innocent faces, Ali’s dark hair, eyes and crinkle nose staring right back at her in a way that made Ali think if this wasn’t karma.

“We wanted to buy a fort…” Finley started.

“…then Satellite and Kriegs wanted to help…” Riley continued.

“…and we thought with them we could make two teams…” Finley shrugged.

“…to play soccer!” Riley added enthusiastic. Ali rolled her eyes and tried hard not to chuckle at their adorableness. Although Ali was stricter, Ashlyn loved to go crazy with them and Sophie, who wasn’t much better -only smarter at pretending nothing had happened- all the time. And sometimes the four made Ali give in.

“Okay” Ali sighed “I want this clean, we are leaving in ten minutes and if this isn’t clean by then, you’ll stay and fix it while Mr. Denisof looks after you.” Mr. Denisof was their young neighbor and personal nanny. He loved kids.

“But mom!” the two said in chorus.

“You made the mess, you clean the mess.” Ali gave them a severe glance and they nodded “Okay, Sophie, where are you?” Ali called for her nine year old daughter. Sophie ran downstairs also with her Orlando Pride gear.

“I’m ready mommy!” Sophie said grinning wide. Ali allowed herself to chuckle this time.

“Good job sweetheart, go play outside for a while if you want and in the meantime your brothers will clean up and I will make sure there’s a big sandwich for your mother.”

The four left the house in time and were at the hotel were Kyle, Brian, and their kids, Kannie and 5 year old Samuel were staying along with the rest of their family, which included Debbie and Mike Christopher, Ken and his family, Mike and Tammye Harris, and Christopher Harris and his gang. They were all there for the NWSL championship, which was also Ashlyn’s last match. The family and Ashlyn had stayed at the hotel in Orlando for a couple days prior to the match and Ali had stayed with the kids in Palm Bay because she had work and they had school.

The whole family had lunch together and then left for the stadium.

“Uncle Kyle, lift me higher!” Princess Sophie demanded as Kyle lifted her over the multitude “Yes, mama is already in the pre-match warm-ups!”

As they sat, Ashlyn spotted the big gang and smiled wide at them from her spot in the goal before waving at them.

“Slay them mama!” Finley yelled. Ali chuckled. She knew no seven year old should be talking like that but she loved their enthusiasm for their mama.

“Against who are we playing again?” Riley asked.

“The losers of the Flash” Sophie answered, and she and Riley exchanged a look of amusement knowing the Pride would have no problem against them.

“But the Flash is pretty good.” Jamie, their cousin, commented.

“Not next to us.” Finley laughed.

“Plus no one beats the shark!” Riley pointed at Ashlyn whose uniform was, ironically, dark blue and black.

“That’s my shark…” Ali whispered chuckling at Ashlyn. It still made her horny to see her wife in action.

Beginning the match, Ali and the kids went to the pitch for Ashlyn’s little ceremony and they took advantage of the situation to kiss her for the days they hadn’t seen each other. They posed for the picture and Ashlyn said a few words.

“I love you all.” Ashlyn said hugging them again before they left.

“We love you too.” Ali kissed her one last time and they went back to their seats.

The match was incredible. Until the last five minutes of the whole match, no goal happened, both teams resisting pretty tightly, and then five goals were made by the Pride. Ashlyn got clean sheet because all the action happening in the other side of the pitch. So when the whistle blew the end of the game and the Pride became Champions again, they were all a bit shocked but enthusiastic.

They applauded as the medals were delivered and then Ali helped Ashlyn get the kids into the pitch, were they played for a while. Ali loved to see Ashlyn so happy, going wild with the kids running around the pitch with a ball.

“Look mama, I’m a keeper!” Sophie said as she intercepted a ball of Riley. Ashlyn grinned spinning Finley around and chuckled.

“Yes, you truly are a keeper.” Ashlyn whispered and looked at Ali, who smiled right back at her. She knew right there, her life couldn’t do more than improve. Yes, this has been a huge great adventure but there was another great one ahead.

 


End file.
